James: Last time on the Power Hour: Jeff Hardy retains his Championship over Matt Morgan, a hero who came out of nowhere, only to lose under controversial circumstances. And because of those circumstances, he’s got another shot, with the odds in his favor.
Seán: There’s a special guest referee in town for this main event. A returning hero from his recent concussion suffered at the hands of The Antichrist himself, it’s bloody Ken Skellington, Mr. Anderson has returned as the special guest referee for the main event of Final Resolution 2010!
James: That’s right! On top of that, Samoa Joe wants revenge on Jeff Jarrett for an unearned tap out win, The Pope is out for revenge on Abyss for turning his family against him, we’ve got 4 Title on the line and more!! All that in TNA’s last Pay Per View of the year, it’s time for Final Resolution 2010!!
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Happy Days are Here Again!!
JT: Hellooooo everyone and welcome back to the JT & Seány McPower Hour!! Last time we entered into the first PPV of the Immortal Era, that being of course Turning Point 2010. Now, now we’re knee deep into Hogan & Bischoff’s hostile takeover over Total Nonstop Action. I of course am James aka JT, joined as always as the Max Buck to my Jeremy Buck, it’s Seán!! Power Hour partner oh mine, mind giving everyone a brief rundown of how the Immortal Era treated us at Turning Point?
S: Last time on the Power Hour, in the era of Immortal (brother), we covered Turning Point. To be honest, a fairly meh show if we’re being honest. Robbie E won the X-Division Title from Just Jay Lethal, Mickie James and Tara had a brilliant match and won the crowd over which ended in a no contest. The Guns successfully retained the tag belts against Team 3D in their retirement match. RVD and Tommy Dreamer fumbled about in an underwhelming No DQ match which saw Tommy Dreamer lose the match and severely injured his wrist. The Pope and Abyss fought in a Lumberjack Match which saw Abyss win after The Pope’s Congregation and own brother turn on him. Jeff Jarrett beat Samoa Joe due to nefarious means and Jeff Hardy beat Mr. Mayor, Matt Morgan to retain his World Title after Jackson James only went and cocked up a three count for Morgan.
JT: Yeah coming off of Bound For Glory, which although it had its problems, I found it to be a very easy watch and a pretty enjoyable show, I was not a fan of Turning Point. But that’s in the past, and I have to say, looking at the card for this show, I was fairly excited going in. What about you? Anything that really excited you and stood out?
S: Much like you, I was quite thrilled when I saw the card for this show, it just looked like a card which had some energy to it. The matches which stood out to me in particular were AJ Styles vs Douglas Williams, Tara vs Mickie in falls count anywhere match and Gen Me vs The Bucks. As for the rest of the card? I was fine with it to be honest.
JT: Yeah I was definitely excited to see those 3 matches. But in general, it felt like it was last month’s card just buffed up. Like Joe/Jarrett was underwhelming, but making it a rematch with a submission only stipulation? That should spice things up. Also, seeing Pope/Abyss in a Casket match definitely intrigued me more than a Pope/Abyss Lumberjack Match. Plus, Beer Money!! Glad they’re actually getting a chance to shine.
S: It’s about bloody time, isn’t it? They’ve been fighting EV2.0 for the last two shows so thankfully they’re on this show as team and oh my god! They’re only against my boys!
JT: That’s right!! But, let us not get too hasty. It’s our first contest, we’ll get to it soon enough. How about before we get to the battle of the boys, we do a rundown of some facts and figures?
S: Final Resolution 2010 Notes!!
Final Resolution 2010! Emanating from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida on the 5th December 2010. The usual 1,100 in attendance, with 9,000 PPV buys. Down 4,000 buys from the previous month’s Turning Point but 1,500 up from the previous year’s Final Resolution. This show did generate the second lowest buy rate of the year with only May’s Sacrifice show beating them, bottoming out at 7,500 buys. Two questions, James. First off, thoughts on the facts and figures? Secondly, would you like to hear some of the highlights of that mega Sacrifice show?
JT: Well I think it’s fair to say that as wacky as the Immortal storyline is, it’s definitely drawing people in, at least compared to storylines from previous years. I mean looking at TNA’s numbers as a whole, it’s clear that their audience is dropping off, but this angle recovered almost halfway the lost buys between 2008’s show & 2009’s version. Although saying that, this is a significant drop off from Turning Point, which itself was a significant drop off and regression back to the mean after BFG. But, I gotta know what Sacrifice had if it drew less than this.
S: Would you like to hear the full card or just the standout matches from my perspective?
JT: Might as well go for the standouts. We gotta know what were the big hooks to get people to buy (or rather not buy) the show!!
S: Sacrifice 2010 saw The Guns beat Beer Money and Team 3D in a three way tag match, Rob Terry defend his then called TNA Global Championship against Orlando Jordan, Hall and Nash beat Ink Inc. to retain the tag belts. Jeff Hardy beat Ken Skellington, start as you mean to go on, amirite? Sting beat Double J in 14 seconds and RVD vs AJ Styles was the main event
JT: RVD & AJ drew poorly? Huh, didn’t expect that. Aside from Hall & Nash as Tag Champs & Rob Fucking Terry, that doesn’t look like the worst card. I guess people were just not in the mood to buy a TNA PPV after blowing their money on WrestleMania 26 the month before.
S: I think the general consensus was that TNA under Bischoff and Hogan had not started well at all, really.
JT: Of course! How quickly we forget about the fabled 2010 Monday Night Wars. Yeah, when you remind of that, it makes sense that their PPVs weren’t doing well.
S: Also take into fact that they got rid of the site sided ring and jobbed Chris Daniels out to fucking Sean Morley, hot off the heels of doing absolutely nought since his Chief Morley days of 2002-2003.
JT: Of course! How quickly we forget about the fabled 2010 Monday Night Wars. Yeah, when you remind of that, it makes sense that their PPVs weren’t doing well.
S: Damn straight, wanna get this show on the road?
JT: Yeah, at the very least this show is more inspiring on paper. Let’s see if they delivered on that, let’s go the show on the road!
S: Take it away!
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Ink Inc. vs Drink Drinc
JT: Our opening contest is the battle of the boys!! It’s Bobby Roode & James Storm, Fortune’s Beer Money, facing off against Ink Inc, Shannon Moore & Jesse Neal. And this ain’t just a regular, filler tag match now is it?
S: Absolutely not James, this tag team match between these two teams is in fact a number one contenders match with the winners getting a title shot against the winners between MCMG and GenMe for the tag titles later on in the show.
JT: I think it’s pretty nice to be getting this match here. I believe if I remember correctly, TNA had themselves a nice little tag division around this time. Now, with the retirement of Team 3D, it gets a little weaker, but I like that they slotted in this match to give extra legitimacy and importance to their tag division. With Gen Me & MCMG blowing off their feud later, it’s nice to know that they’ll immediately have the direction for the Tag Champs planned out in advance.
S: Yeah for sure, when I saw this match pop up and I discovered what the stakes were in this match. A massive positive for the tag division with theme planning out for the future, for sure.
JT: So, why are these two teams getting this opportunity? Well as we saw on BFG, Ink Inc we’re starting to pick up steam and come into their own as a team. Beer Money meanwhile, they’ve got Immortal behind them, so they’re never going to be too far out of the title picture. But that’s not all, there’s beef between these guys! And now, less than 4 minutes into the show, it’s time to cut back to what happened on Impact! So there was a 4 Way Tag on Impact featuring all 4 tag teams on tonight’s show. It was referred by rookie ref Jackson James, who was getting yelled at by Beer Money during the match, which led to an Ink Inc roll up win! So now, the stakes are set. Will the younger team of Neal & Moore prove that wasn’t and take on step closer to the top of the mountain, or will Beer Money get one step closer to capturing their 4th TNA Tag Titles and getting revenge on the Machine Guns for winning their Best of 5 from earlier in the year!
S: I guess it’s time find out who comes out victorious, isn’t it, James?
JT: It’s almost time, because I think we should have a chat about their entrances first. We’ve seen Ink Inc on this series before, so there’s not much to say there aside from noting that they get a pretty good reception here tonight. But more importantly, we haven’t got to talk about Beer Money’s whole set up proper!! Seán, the Music!! The Pyro!! The Boozer Cruiser!! It’s all so…..GLORIOUS!!
S: Awh my god man, I’m glad you brought this up! The entire packaging of Beer Money as a whole is just so fucking well done. I especially love Storm’s look, we all know Bobby is the straight laced, dapper bloke but man, James Storm here, the sunglasses, the earrings, the Boozer Cruiser, beer bottle and THAT COWBOY HAT THOUGH!
JT: I feel out of all the Cowboy gimmicks of the past 20 years, Storm hits it the best. He’s not some goofy cartoon character, but he’s not some regular bloke. He really just nails the feel of as modern a cowboy you can have. He’s rough, he’s tough, he’s got the cowboy swagger and disregard for anyone but himself, but he’s not caught up with saying or doing wacky cowboy things. Easily one of the biggest success stories of TNA, and well earned at that.
S: He really is, a man who can always work as either a face or a heel too. I always really liked James Storm, it’s a shame he never signed with NXT when it was about to hit it’s stride into it’s peak years not gonna lie.
JT: I’m especially bummed about that because Roode arrived a year later too. They were booking Storm as a face from the looks of things too, so imagine an already thriving babyface Storm getting kicked out of NXT by his arriving ex-tag partner! Alas, I’m glad he at least got to leave NXT on his own terms, by his own choice.
S: Yeah and he’s done perfectly fine for himself since then but I do think there’s still some stock left in giving James Storm a chance. Shall we run down the match?
JT: Hey that’s enough prelude. Let’s get into it! So we’ve got a loud and split crowd at the start. Storm immediately kicks Neal on the lock up and goes on the attack, with “Let’s go Jesse/Lets go Storm” chants. Hip Toss, Dropkick on Storm, Backdrop to Roode, Double Dropkick to Roode, then the heels powder as the faces celebrate. Neal fakes a dives, Beer Money splits apart and taunt him, but then Storm gets rolled up by Shannon for 2. LEGAL MAN SYNDROME ALREADY!! Oh no!! The rules Seán, the rules!!
S: James, I’ve got many issues with the rules on tonight’s show and this one right here is not the only one in the match, let me tell you.
JT: I’ll make sure to give you chance to get scream out about it, but man I was hurt by this. Like we got a pretty hot start to the match and right as it’s getting going, they gave me something to distract me.
S: Oh I’ve got a bone to pick with this ref and the refs throughout the night, don’t worry about that.
JT: Just yell when you need to bring it up. So back to the match, Shannon with an arm drag to give his team control. Storm backs him into the corner and Roode holds him back but Storm hits Roode instead of Shannon, allowing him to hit Storm with an arm drag, and an Atomic Drop followed by a Dropkick to incoming Roode, then an Atomic Drop again to Storm with a big karate chop to the head. He fakes out a dick stomp for a leg drop, Roode tries to break it up with an elbow but hits Storm, then gets an Atomic Drop and Karate Chop himself. Ink Inc go for the double team as they send Storm across for a double back elbow, then Shannon hip tosses Neal on Storm for 2. It’s all Ink Inc right now, and I don’t know about you, but by this part of the match, I’m a big fan of it. I’m really liking the story so far of the younger team completely getting the best of the veterans, and the vets gets real frustrated about it.
S: Yeah honestly, I was delighted to see this match being a real fun opener unlike last month’s more methodical affair between Just Jay and Robbie E. I think what my annoyance was in this match with the rules and the ref was just after this sequence, did you cop the fact that Storm and Roode were clapping as a form of a fake tag behind the ref’s back at all?
JT: Oh yeah, I caught that. A classic heel bit to make it seem like they tagged. But I mean in kayfabe, it doesn’t make much sense does it? I mean, the ref is supposed to only allow them in if he sees the tag, right?
S: Exactly, the tag should be rendered illegal and therfore his decision should be overturned.
JT: It’s just one of those many little things in wrestling that exist to try and progress the in the moment story, but if you think about it just makes no sense. And to think, it’s a rather old school wrestling thing too, it’s from when kayfabe was king!
S: Kayfabe is King. Put that on a shirt. That and many more of Professor Seán’s Wrestling Rules to come later on.
JT: Now as we come back, the tides turn due to more heel shenanigans. As Neal hits the ropes, Roode pulls his big old Mohawk from the apron, delaying him for long enough for Storm to hit a Codebreaker. From they, Beer Money double team Neal with the ref distracted, Roode works him over in the corner with chops, stomps and punches. Roode knocks Shannon off the apron to lead to more heel shenanigans, including wrist tap choking. After their hot run, Beer Money rule the roost with their classic type of offense. They really lay it in as they get a Double Clotheslines in the corner, snapmare and snap Facebuster by Roode and a running knee drop by Storm as Roode poses. By this point, the crowd wants to see Shannon tag in. Neal tries to get to him after a boot to the face, but Roode cuts him off before he can get the tag. Roode tries to slow him down as he gets a back elbow in the corner, but then as he went to go for a Chin Lock only for Neal to hit a stunner and get the tag!! Shannon comes in, ducks the clothesline and knocks Storm off the apron, hammers punches on Storm, gets a leg lariat, then sends Roode across and gets a Headscissor. He goes for a Casadora, then the broadcast all of a sudden cuts and now Moore & Neal are in the ring with Roode, what happened??? Seán do you have idea what the deal is?
S: My guess was maybe that there was a massive botch and they may have wanted to cut that out but other than that, I’ve no idea whatsoever with what went on here.
JT: I didn’t even consider that until you said it. So I looked up some footage, and Shannon hit the Casadora Bulldog perfectly fine. So now I have even less idea what’s going on.
S: That’s so strange, maybe it was just a botch job on the part of whoever is in charge of uploading stuff to the streaming service.
JT: Yeah, it’s just so sudden and jarring I can’t help but think it wasn’t intentional.
S: This isn’t the regular wee two second blackouts we get during all these PPV’s on Impact Plus, is it?
JT: No it isn’t, it’s straight up a harsh cut.
S: That’s well strange, should we close this one out?
JT: Yeah let’s focus on the important stuff. So as we are dropped back into the action, suddenly both of Ink Inc are in and the match has gotten chaotic. Ink Inc send Roode across, he hangs on but Neal clotheslines him over. Shannon goes to the apron, gets pulled off, Roode throws him at the apron but he jumps onto it, knocks Storm off the other side, hits a Superkick to Roode, Neal with a Plancha, Shannon with a Moonsault!! Ink Inc are rolling, literally as Shannon drives around the Boozer Cruiser!! He sends Roode back in to get a Neckbreaker on the knee by Neal, followed by a running Neckbreaker by Shannon, 1–2–Kickout!! Ink Inc signal for the end as Neal puts him up on his shoulders and Shannon goes up top but Shannon is pushed off by Storm. Storm then goes to spit beer but gets pushed off the apron by Neal. Roode comes at him but he gets a Back Suplex Facebuster as Storm crawls his way back in. Neal hypes the crowd up, charges in maybe for a Spear, Roode moves and Storm nails the Last Call Superkick!! Then pull him in, lift him up and the DWI connects!! Suplex into the Powerbomb fold up Neal, and it’s good for the 1—-2—3!!
S: This match was really enjoyable for me, I thought both teams had great chemistry together, they were both well over with the Impact Zone which is always a great help, I’ll always have a soft spot for Moore and Neal, more so Moore and seeing him over with the crowd was nice to see. Legal man and silly refs aside, I thought this was a really fun opener, happy to see Beer Money in line for a future tag title shot. Also, that finish was excellent!
JT: Yeah aside from that silly stuff and the cut that was totally out of their control, I think they have a competent story going. An inexperienced high flier team come out of the gate got, get slowed down by heel tactics, but start to come back around only for their inexperience to come back to bite them in the end. Also props to the DWI, what an excellent tag finisher.
S: It always look so slick looking too.
JT: All around I think we can say, this was a good time, and I know both of us are excited to see Beer Money fighting for the Tag Title again, especially against either Gen Me or MCMG.
S: Oh without a doubt, I was delighted watching this match and I’m well jazzed to see what happens with Beer Money in the tag title picture going forward.
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Bathroom Break-In
JT: So they were in the 2nd match last show, and they’re in the second match again. It’s Mickie James vs Tara, but this time, Falls Count Anywhere!!
S: Awesome! I raved about how well this angle was executed last month at Turning Point and James, Mickie and Tara just have an axe to grind with one another, don’t they?
JT: Oh boy do they. They really haven’t had a whole lot going on in the build for this, but that’s because this just ain’t complicated. They’ve just been fighting all over the impact zone, including on Thanksgiving Impact. They made sure to ruin catering for everyone. Speaking of ruining, Tara Pearl Habored Mickie when she was set to make her singing debut on Impact, leading to another brawl. Just lots of fighting and aggression between them, and it’s great. Mickie wants that Knockouts Title and Tara is just not going to let her get to it, but for professional (Madison Rayne’s bodyguard) and personal reasons. Now on that topic, I don’t know about you but I find the only issue is that this feud has is the continual references to something that happened “5 years ago” that I feel totally in the dark about.
S: I gotta agree with you there because most of their beef in this feud is probably because Tara is the heater for Madison Rayne and defeating her is the only way Mickie is getting a shot at the Knockouts Title because Mickie has stated that she is coming for the belt so Tara being a roadblock to her getting a shot at Madison is fine for me.
JT: Yeah and considering they can’t bring up WWE at all, it just adds unnecessary club lines to a feud that’s been riding smoothly otherwise.
S: That’s true, we do get a backstage interview with Madison before the match starts and James, is it just me who gets big Waitress from It’s Always Sunny vibes from Madison in this part of her career?
JT: Can’t say that I’ve noticed that, but I swear to god if you ruin her for me, I’m going to be quite salty. Shall I run down the promo or would you like to take it?
S: Man I can barely remember what she said to be honest haha, did she bicker with the queen that is Christy Hemme by any chance?
JT: Yeah basically Madison cuts a promo about how she is not worried about Mickie James, because worrying causes premature wrinkles, and there’s no way Mickie will get through Tara. She also yelled at Christy before it cut to the video package, which was standard fair, then we get entrances and we’re right into the match! You ready for this one?
S: I’m ready for this one, dude! Also Madison, please don’t yell at Christy Hemme.
JT: Tara beckons Mickie to the floor where they start the match, brawling on the floor. Tara is the first to feel the effects as she gets crotched on the guardrail, for an early Kickout. Mickie throws her into the apron, into the guardrail, into the apron again, then throws her in to hit a Missile Dropkick by Mickie for another kickout. Crowd is loud for this one again, chanting for Mickie. Tara gets control for a bit, so Mickie goes under the ring, Tara searches for her only for Mickie to come in from behind to Dropkick her out to the floor. Baseball Slide into Tara as they go back to brawling on the floor, and then Tara sends her over the guardrail as they brawl through the crowd. Mickie reverses a whip by Tara and sends her into a steel trust as they brawl back beyond the curtain. They go over to a concession stand and Mickie sprays Tara with a drink. They’re pretty much brawling out into Universal Studios, and Tara gets a Backdrop right onto the straight up concrete. Jesus that looked rough didn’t it?
S: Yeah that looked brutal, I would not wanna take that bump whatsoever, props to Tara for taking what looked like an incredibly painful and nasty bump.
JT: Yeah Universal Studios is not meant to be bumped around on. But Tara is a tough gal, gotta give her props. And she continues to have a tough time as she gets thrown into some trash cans. Mickie tries a roll up, 1–2–Kickout!! After some more brawling, Mickie gets herself on top of a dumpster and leaps off with a Thesz Press onto Tara onto the cement!! Again, good job Tara, that could’ve been very bad if she couldn’t catch her. They keep brawling and make their ways over to the bathrooms, going towards the women’s room. PSYCH!! They go right into the men’s room, which as Taz remarks “gets a big pop”. Two randos in TNA merch in the bathroom have to run out of the way off camera. Did you get the feeling that they were plants or not? Honestly, I couldn’t tell.
S: I think they may have been plants, more likely than not. If not then definitely the bloke taking a shite reading the newspaper in the cubicle. Proper Vinny Mc humour there.
JT: Real toilet humor here. Dirty fucker didn’t even wash his hands. Meanwhile, Mickie & Tara are hitting each other with a wet floor sign. For some reason, Jackson James evacuates, and leaves them to fight alone in the bathroom. Only, THEY’RE NOT ALONE!! Madison Rayne sprays Mickie with a Fire Extinguisher, then hits Mickie with the Knockouts Title!! She beckons James back in, Tara covers: 1—2—3!! The heels prevail and keep Mickie down and away from the title again!! What did you think of this one?
S: I enjoyed it, thought they did a good job with the stipulation, I’m not sure if it were as good as their Turning Point match, I’d probably have to give it a second watch to really make a decision on that but I liked how it was a whacky brawl. That dirty fucker should wash his hands, Jackson James was a gentleman leaving women in the bathroom to themselves, isn’t he a dote? Proper gent. I think the stip may have slightly hindered what they could do but they really took some hard bumps and given how the feud was booked, this was a fitting match stip for these two and The Waitress wins it for Tara. Good stuff for me.
JT: I wish they had done a bit more than walk and brawl because the crowd was really into this and it would’ve been that much better. I think the reason it was built this way and was hindered by such a match layout is due to the fact you’ve just got other matches with stipulations on the show. Like you can’t do table, ladder or chair shots when you’ve got Full Metal Mayhem later in the show. You can’t get too brutal if you’ve got a First Blood match later either. But considering it was pretty much 99% walk and brawl, it was fun all things considered. I liked the gag about the men’s room, and I liked how they had an actual reason for going in there in the first place. Again, big ups to Tara for bumping on the concrete, that couldn’t have been easy. Not quite as big of a thumbs up as last time, can’t say I loved it but if you’re trying to get all the high points of the show, you should make sure to catch this one.
S: Yeah I’ll probably have to give a second watch to get a proper evaluation on if this match was as good as the one from Turning Point, probably wasn’t but enjoyed it for the most part.
JT: Yeah as far as women’s matches go, or even just TNA matches go, you can do so much worse.
S: Without a doubt, at least there were no contracts falling off clipboards here, next match perhaps?
JT: Yes, we should move on.
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47 Meters Up: Caged
JT: Up next, call up Vince Russo because we’re gonna have ourselves an old fashioned Brodown. Robbie E is defending his X Division Championship for the first time against Just Jay Lethal, and to spice things up, Cookie is getting locked up in a Shark Cage!
S: It’s a good thing sharks don’t like cookies, isn’t it? She’d only be bait, bless her.
JT: Well certain sharks don’t like cookies, but we’ll get to that. Before the match we get a backstage promo with The Shore where Robbie E bro makes sure bro to say the bro word bro as much as humanly possible, bro. What a douche. He says that Bro, he’s that beaten Lethal before and tonight will be no different bro. He also tells “Cooks” to calm down because she won’t go in the Shark Cage. Yeah, she doesn’t claim down. She’s starts flipping out, she says it isn’t shark week, she doesn’t have a wet suit, etc. Christy asks if Cookie scared, Cookie calls her a bitch, the interview ends. The Christy Hemme attacks just won’t end.
S: I’m getting sick and tired (sick and tired. sick and tired…) of these constant attacks towards Christy Hemme, James, let me tell ya.
JT: The disrespect is sickening honestly. So this is the first of 4 Title matches tonight, and since it’s the X Division Title, we get our X Factors (no Justin Incredible). They are as follows:
-“Turning Point for the Shore” aka Cookie’s cheating led to Robbie winning the title last month
-“One Lethal Fist Pump” Lethal laid out Robbie in the “Jersey Fist Pump Challenge” with a right hand
-And “Cookie in the Cage”, Cookie is in the Shark Cage after repeated interference
So with all that said, Jay Lethal comes out, and I know we’ve called him Just Jay before but Jesus he is looking barebones tonight. No jacket, no title, just boots & tights.
S: This is the real ‘the man that character forgot’ period Jay Lethal had in between Black Machismo and joining up with Truth Martini and The House of Truth in ROH. I always said it once he finished up his Black Machismo character, he just feels so bland which is riding because he’s really comfortable with promos nowadays. I thought he looked barebones at Bound for Glory but here, Christ on a bike and Mary on the handlebars, he looks every bit of Just Jay here and a lot of it comes down to that theme, my god, that fucking Gerry Generic shite he’s got here.
JT: Yeah his music, his gear, it’s all just nothing. He looks like he’s finally running out of the steam he built off the promo with Ric Flair way back in January. Glad he turned it around though, hell of a wrestler! But sadly like we described, he doesn’t appear to be the apple of anyone’s eye right now, he’s just a side character in the story of Cookie & Robbie E. All the focus is on how Cookie absolutely refuses to get in the big old cage. Jay takes out Robbie, who was holding off the ref, but Cookie makes a break for it. She gets all the way up the ramp and looks like she’s gonna get away when, BY GAWD!! BY GAWD!! ITS SHARK BOY!! THE TIDES ARE COMING IN!!
S: GIMME A SHELL YYYYEAAAHH! GET THAT MAN SOME CLAM JUICE!
JT: Cookie goes for the slap, but Shark Boy ducks and gets her back down the ramp, and right into the Cage!! The match is on!! But before we get into that, let’s take a second for some Shark Boy appreciation!!
S: Why couldn’t we get all of Prince Justice Brotherhood in here? Honestly, that would’ve slapped, Curry Man and Super Eric in this would’ve made this the best thing on this show for me.
JT: Oh man!! Shark Boy, Curry Man & Super Eric against Robbie E, Jesse Godderz & DJZ would’ve actually been so much fun. Alas, that never happens. But as far as parody gimmicks go, Shark Boy has got to be one of the best if you ask me.
S: Oh without a doubt, his Stone Cold impression is really fucking good. You mention that six man match, I reckon that would be great to see at a future year’s King of Tri- ohhhhh, yeah… Probably should stay away from that thing and that fucking nutcase who I won’t mention.
JT: Yeah let’s not bring up any dodgy shit, let’s just stick to TNA run by Hulk…..okay let’s just get to the match.
S: Let’s crack this one down.
JT: So Lethal lights up Robbie, who tries to run away but Lethal chases him to the floor, Robbie completely caught off guard. Missile Dropkick from Lethal and he takes a second to make fun of Cookie as a “Let’s go Lethal” chant rings out. Lethal crotches Robbie on his south jersey yambag as Cookie is screaming from the cage. Like, she screams a lot during this match. And for a good reason, as not only is she scared but Lethal is beating the hell out of Robbie early on, until he finally turns the tides as he reverses a whip, sending Lethal into the middle turnbuckle. He follows up with a Huge Irish Whip into the corner, then Lethal tries to come back with a pair of right hands, until he sends Robbie across and Robbie turns a backdrop attempt into a STO. Lethal tries to fight out of a rest hold, but the second he escaped he gets pulled back into a Sleeper. Lethal starts to fire up again, this time sending Robbie into the turnbuckle to break the sleeper. He gets a right hand, duck the clothesline, right hand, duck a clothesline, chops to Robbie, forearm, clothesline, Handspring Back Elbow. He nails the Lethal Combination: 1—-2—Kickout!! Lethal leapfrogs Robbie and then they collide, double down, something’s gonna happen!! And happen things do as with both guys down, Cookie throws a chain down to the ring, only for Earl Hebner to spot it and take it away! But ahaha, it’s a fake out, and Cookie throws a hairspray bottle down with Hebner distracted, but Lethal takes it out of Robbie’s hands and sprays him with it!! Lethal picks him up, hitting the Lethal Injection, but Hebner saw him use spray, so it’s a DQ victory for Robbie E, he retains the title!! I’ve gotta say, last time I feel we were more generous than most, but I can’t say I’ll be as nice this time around. But before I go in, what did you think of this one?
S: So Lethal lights up Robbie, who tries to run away but Lethal chases him to the floor, Robbie completely caught off guard. Missile Dropkick from Lethal and he takes a second to make fun of Cookie as a “Let’s go Lethal” chant rings out. Lethal crotches Robbie on his south jersey yambag as Cookie is screaming from the cage. Like, she screams a lot during this match. And for a good reason, as not only is she scared but Lethal is beating the hell out of Robbie early on, until he finally turns the tides as he reverses a whip, sending Lethal into the middle turnbuckle. He follows up with a Huge Irish Whip into the corner, then Lethal tries to come back with a pair of right hands, until he sends Robbie across and Robbie turns a backdrop attempt into a STO. Lethal tries to fight out of a rest hold, but the second he escaped he gets pulled back into a Sleeper. Lethal starts to fire up again, this time sending Robbie into the turnbuckle to break the sleeper. He gets a right hand, duck the clothesline, right hand, duck a clothesline, chops to Robbie, forearm, clothesline, Handspring Back Elbow. He nails the Lethal Combination: 1—-2—Kickout!! Lethal leapfrogs Robbie and then they collide, double down, something’s gonna happen!! And happen things do as with both guys down, Cookie throws a chain down to the ring, only for Earl Hebner to spot it and take it away! But ahaha, it’s a fake out, and Cookie throws a hairspray bottle down with Hebner distracted, but Lethal takes it out of Robbie’s hands and sprays him with it!! Lethal picks him up, hitting the Lethal Injection, but Hebner saw him use spray, so it’s a DQ victory for Robbie E, he retains the title!! I’ve gotta say, last time I feel we were more generous than most, but I can’t say I’ll be as nice this time around. But before I go in, what did you think of this one?
JT: Honestly I didn’t think this one was all that bad, mostly because I barely thought about this one at all. Like I saw it, I took notes and then I immediately forgot about it. The definition of nothing special. And yeah, Jay looks stupid for being so blatant. Like cmon guy, you were kicking Robbie’s ass already, you don’t need to use the hairspray, just kick his ass and win your belt back.
S: I mean I didn’t really hate it per say, as I mentioned, the in ring action is fine and the crowd were into Lethal but the finish soured it for me. James, Robbie E’s fist pumps. I’ve got a total number right here… But, I think I’ll spare that question for the recharge whenever we get onto that so stick around to find out how many fist pumps Robbie E did throughout this match.
JT: This bit is like a Canadian Destroyer Brother, we can’t just do it in the middle of the show! We gotta build it up first!! And anyways, we’ve got more SHELL TO GET RAISED!! Cookie celebrates with the X Division title after being let down, all while Robbie is in pain on the floor, and then Shark Boy is back out!! Clearly as an X Division mainstay, he doesn’t put up with this sort of shenanigans and disrespect to the Shark Cage. Cookie could care less though, as she gives him not one not three but two slaps to the face!! Shark Boy ain’t gonna take that though, as he gives her the Stunner!! And that’s the Fishing Line because Shark Boy says so!! Beating up Women? Sharky’s Austin impression is down perfectly. And that’s it for this whole ordeal.
S: God I love Shark Boy. James my friend, do you remember what Shark Boy called his version of the Stunner?
JT: Well based on the fact I called it the Stunner, no I do not. But how about this. If you tell me, I’ll make sure to edit the ProWrestlingWiki page for Shark Boy so that it says the name instead of just “Stunner”!
S: Well funnily enough, Mike Tenay and Don West actually coined a name for Shark Boy’s stunner. They in fact called it, The Chummer.
JT: ……damnit that’s really good. Shark Boy is just great. And based on how this ended, I hope that means more of him in the future.
S: I hope so too but what’s the odds it’s just TNA bringing him aboard for this show and this match in particular because ‘Shark cage, Shark Boy, sharks, makes sense.’?
JT: It makes sense in a TNA kind of way, and that’s about it.
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We bleed EV2.0
Up next, we’ve got more fucking EV2.0 shit, with more betrayal and smellness!! For the 3rd time in 3 shows, we’ve got Rob Van Dam in a stipulation match, a First Blood match in fact. And for the 2nd straight show, he’s facing a former ex-ECW guy, this time his old buddy Rhino.
S: RVD ain’t ever gonna get that title shot, is he? Man’s like 1999 British Bulldog at this stage.
JT: Hide your bins and soon-to-be-weds!
S: Where is his title shot? Someone get that man his title shot.
JT: Clearly TNA things of Jeff/RVD as their big money match, and honestly that doesn’t sound so bad, especially given the backstory they’re building up. However, they’ve really been kicking the can down the road, and the ways they’ve been blocking RVD from getting the title shot, well I can’t help but feel they’re unnecessary except for the purpose of “Keep RVD away from Jeff for a bit”.
S: Yeah that’s probably the booking logistics behind it all. How did this one come about then, James?
JT: Yeah let’s discuss the complications that led to one EV2.0 brother betraying the other. Basically, after RVD defeat Tommy Dreamer at Turning Point, he realized the error of his ways. He realized it was wrong to doubt his extreme brother, and wanted to make things right with a big public apology on Impact. Yet, right as he and Tommy were set to squash their beef, Rhino ran in with a Gore to Rob and a Chair Shot to Tommy. Rhino went on to explain that after Turning Point, his TNA contract had actually expired, and he said that nobody seemed to notice except for himself, and Eric Bischoff. With that extra bit of leverage, Eric has been able to make Rhino do his bidding, and Rhino just went along with it because he needs the money for his family. RVD doesn’t want to accept that Rhino has left the Tribe of Hardcore for Uncle Eric, but he has no choice but to accept it and fight him. Rhino’s got a job to do, cripple RVD like he did way back in 2000 when he broke Rob’s leg in ECW. He’s gotta make him bleed here tonight, and only then can he get his contract. So, now that I’ve looked at the build for this as a whole, I’ve gotta say that I’ve got a bone to pick now. So please indulge me for a second, but does this or does this not feel like Rhino’s story more so than RVD’s?
S: Oh this is complete Rhino’s story, let’s not even pretend that it’s not. This is Rhino doing what he has to do to keep his life in check and his family supported. Rob on the other hand? Just more EV2.0 nonsense and him being like ‘I don’t like this new direction you’re heading down, man.’
JT: I think personally there’s nothing wrong at all with buffing up the story of the less highlighted performer, but when the story for your main event wrestler can be summed up into the basic nothing you just said, that’s not ideal. I feel if you’re pushing someone to the main event, you’ve gotta prioritize their story. Unless the less important guy will play a major role in the main eventer’s narrative, you’ve just gotta focus around the bigger star.
S: Absolutely, on top of that they should’ve just hammered the point home of that RVD is continuously having to jump through hoop after hoop in all these stipulation matches in order to get a sniff at the World Title. The story on paper of Rhino having to do it for the benefit of his family and himself vs Van Dam having to do it to get one step closer to the TNA Championship sounds good on paper, if you ask me.
JT: Agreed. I also think having a storyline of RVD having to fight his way past friends in order to get to a friend who betrayed him and took his Title is a good one too. Yet, they never bring up Jeff in this whole match or in the promo package. Hell, he doesn’t even come up last month either. The big heel Mr Monday Night has been grappling with for the past few months is instead Eric Bischoff.
S: The only mention of Jeff was during the Turning Point package in his match with Dreamer. It’s simply RVD basically saying that he doesn’t want another friend to betray him. That’s it.
JT: Yeah, a real lack of focus where it matters. So before we get into this, here’s a little update of what EV2.0 is looking like these days. We saw Sabu lose his job at Turning Point, and then shortly afterwards Raven followed out the door after a loss to Brother Nero on Impact. So now we’re down Sabu & Raven, and Rhino could be out the door if he doesn’t win tonight.
Well we might as well address that, and warning, spoilers here fellas. So after this match, Rhino is out of the company, meaning we’re essentially down to RVD, Stevie, and unable to compete Tommy Dreamer, oh and also Brian Kendrick but seriously don’t count him. So basically, it’s RVD & Stevie after this show and by January 11th 2011, Stevie quits Impact and EV2.0 is
S: The real question I’m asking is… Where’s Stevie gone????
JT: Well I’ll tell you about Stevie…after this match. How’s that for intrigue to get us into this, fairly open and shut match?
S: It’s got me excited for everyone’s boy, Stevie, that’s for sure. Take it away!
JT: So I was going to ask about Rhino’s music before we start this but honestly it’s so unremarkable it’s not even worth the time. Well that, and RVD doesn’t even wait for the bell, he goes right after the Manbeast in the corner with some corner punches. Rob goes for Rolling Thunder, Rhino rolls out of the ring, so Rob taunts Gun only to then get a clothesline. Rhino beats him down in the corner and taunts the crowd, which seems to be effective as we get Loud “Rhino sucks” chants. He keeps up the heel tactics as Rhino rakes and bites the face of Bobbert. Rhino even gets some “You Sold Out” chants, which I think just proves to me that we’ve got a good crowd tonight don’t we?
S: Oh most definitely, man. This crowd was really good tonight, they were up for basically a large chunk of the show, I thought they were great. Miles better than the crowd at Turning Point but that’s not exactly the most difficult of feats.
JT: So Rob flips off of Rhino, then hits a Dropkick to the knee, then one to the chest, followed by Rolling Thunder and then mounted rights. Rob hangs him across the apron, then hits a Slingshot Leg Drop, although Rob nearly flubs it the first time. He goes up top, but Rhino cuts him off and goes on the attack. RVD sends him back to the apron, but then hits a Springboard Kick to knock him off. Baseball Slide sends Rhino onto the guard rail, then a Spinning Leg Drop onto him from the apron! But it’s not enough to really swing things in Rob’s favor as Rhino slams him face first off the guardrail and stairs, then hits a Suplex on the floor. The crowd chants for Tables but spoilers: No tables come out in this match but they’ll get their tables later. They fight back into the ring, Rob flips out of the corner but gets nailed with a Gore!! Now it’s time for the weapons to come out, as Rhino brings Trash Cans to the ring. He hits a Belly to Belly Suplex, then he wedges the Can in between the middle and top rope, and when Rob tries to attack him Rhino gets a Spinebuster. Rob manages to turn things around with a Flying Kick off the top that Rhino has to move into the way of. But that leaves him down long enough for a Five Star Frog Splash!! However, since this is a First Blood Match, so he’s going to have to do more. RVD goes to use the Trash Can and gets a low blow from Rhino, followed by a DDT!! From there, Rhino sets a Piledriver onto the Trash Can Lid, but RVD flips out, only to slip coming down, then has to pick up the Lid to throw to Rhino who catches it and gets hit with a Van Daminator. Oh man, what did you think of this, uhhhh “high spot”?
S: I distinctly remember saying ‘Ahh for fuck’s sake’. Big dirty slip job from Bob here, felt sorry for him because this match was actually kind of flowing smoothly until this botch. What’d you think of it?
JT: I was especially amused by the guy in the front row on the hard camera who audible yelled “Why would you catch it?!?” and then mimed catching the can then getting kicked. Not the best job by Robert here, I think he tried too much for his age and speed.
S: He really did but honestly, him here is wayyyyy better than what he was in his 2nd WWE stint.
JT: Well that’s for sure. But that’s about 2 years down the road, so let’s just finish this up here and now, there’s really very little left. Off the Van Daminator, Rob grabs the actual trash can and wedges it in the corner, in front of Rhino, allowing him to go all the way up top and fly across with the Van Terminator!! Kick to Trash Can to Face, and just like that, Rhino is busted open, ball game. Now before we each give our opinions of the match as a whole, what do you think of having 3 straight No DQ Match with RVD on 3 straight PPVs, two of which feature a big Van Terminator spot? Do you think they’re taking the shine of that move and the “hardcore” stips by doing them so often, or do you think this is more of a case of just doing the most they can do with RVD given his age and skill set?
S: Having RVD doing three straight some form of No DQ matches on three straight PPV’s is repetitive in my opinion, he was having 20 minute matches against Styles and many others so surely it couldn’t be due to his age because he wasn’t huffing and puffing here. Maybe it could be down to him having a somewhat limited skill set to what he had ten years previous, I’m not sure but it’s quite likely. Taking the shine off the hardcore and No DQ stips, this has been a massive constant in TNA shows for many of years really. There were quite a lot of stips on TNA shows prior to 2007 but since 2007, my god, it’s fucking rare to find a PPV from 2007-2010 with no stipulation matches because they are just littered across every PPV. The Van Terminator question, I guess it works here because it’s a fitting move to bust someone open and I like how it’s put over because it busted Rhino open, I don’t know if the shine is taken off it per say, I think it could be a case of a limited moveset from Van Dam if you ask me.
JT: See my thought on the Van Terminator was that we rarely saw it in WWE so it seemed pretty special when he hit it, but then again he was often just a midcarder in WWE and wasn’t given many situations where he could hit it and have a big impact for hitting it. Also WWE rings are pretty massive so it was probably more difficult than in TNA or ECW although if the BITW Shane McMahon could do it I’m sure RVD could.
S: Oh definitely, we did actually get to see him bust it out in our Angle vs Lesnar arc, do you remember when he did it?
JT: That I do. But that’s enough Van Terminator discussion, let’s get on to the big pictures. Comments, critiques, can you tell us what you think about this one?
S: I actually thought this match was fine, it had a better crowd involvement and was better in ring than the match between Dreamer and Van Dam, the First Blood stipulation really helped make this one more interesting on paper and during the match. I did like how the commentators were putting over how some moves could bust you open easily and that Rhino could cough up blood because of the severity of the Five Star. Great stuff from Tazz and Tenay there. Aside from the Van Daminator botch, I thought it was a perfectly fine amicable match.
JT: Well I’m glad one of us enjoyed this. I was not a fan of this one, I think First Blood is a good idea in theory but not in practice. It feels like a pretty normal No DQ brawl but with no pinfall and just waiting for something big enough to justify a blade job. Like they did the best they could, aside from that one botch, I just don’t think I like the actuality of how First Blood Matches work.
S: I think to say I enjoyed it is a bit of a stretch, I think I more peacefully co-existed with it, like I got on with it fine. Like that quiet lad in your class who you just sit beside and that’s it. It was fine really. Nothing special, nothing horrible, just decent.
JT: That’s fair. It was a match, we saw it, and now we’re over it. As Stone Cold Steve Austin once (okay, more than once) said: It was what it was.
S: And RVD was the cooler head that prevailed.
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The Styles Clash: London Brawling
JT: Moving on now, while we had mixed feeling going into and coming out of that last one, but this one definitely was something that got me sitting up straight. It’s the TNA Television Championship on the line with AJ Styles defending against…GASP!!! DOUGLAS WILLIAMS?!?
S: Turns out the dissension from last month has boiled over. The man with the family crest has seen the light and ditched Immortal and Fortune!
JT: Who would’ve thought that Doug would be the guy to break away huh? I mean when I think of Doug Williams, I don’t exactly think “heroic rebel”.
S: Oh no, not at all, he’s a sneaky no good traitorous heel if there ever was one.
JT: Well, he’s our hero now! And to address this whole situation, we get an interview with a member of Fortune, and that member…..ITS KAZ!! He’s asked his thoughts on seeing a man who betrayed Fortune go against his best friend. Kaz puts over AJ as the only grand slam champion in TNA, who has carried TNA since day one, and will continue to dominate tonight. He then puts over Doug as one of the best wrestler in the world, hands down, but he’s a traitor like Benedict Arnold & Lebron James. He calls him an English School Girl, who had a chance to be apart of something bigger but he turned his back on them. He says it’ll be Styles Clash 1-2-3, then AJ will shove the Union Jack up his ass and will send him back to the god forsaken rock he came from. What did you think of this promo, personally I thought it was kinda weird.
S: It was a very stereotypical ‘Yank bashes the Brits’ promo, wasn’t it? I’m surprised he didn’t bust out a Mick Foley like English accent while he was at it. Although him saying AJ will shove the Union Jack up Doug’s ass got a pop from me, anything which bashes that knacker flag will always sit well with me.
JT: I bet it would, you Irish you. But jokes aside, I agree. It felt very much like a “Good old America is gonna kick your British Ass!!” except they’re heel sooo??
S: Proper rah rah Murrica vibe off that promo. Shall we get into the match?
JT: Yeah let’s. There wasn’t a whole lot to discuss about the turn. There were rising tensions for a while, Fortune abandoned Doug during a handicap match leading him to be squashed by Mr Mayor, and then Doug turned on Fortune and helped Mr Mayor beat them up and defeat Ric Flair (more on that later). This is billed as a face off between two dreaded finishers: the Styles Clash & the Rolling Chaos. Bell sounds, lock up, AJ backs Doug up to the ropes and then shoves him. One of the few bad bits from this crowd as they have a USA chant with heel AJ being the only American. Lock up, and wringer, Doug reverses, AJ tries to take him down but Doug quickly reverses into a Side Headlock. AJ headscissors the head, Doug grabs the head and then things begin to pick up as AJ goes for a Sunset Flip, transitioning you try and go for the Styles Clash, but Doug slips free. We get dueling “Lets go AJ/Lets go Williams” as Doug goes for Rolling Chaos, AJ tries to roll through, Doug rolls him through and tries again, AJ drops down and sends him to the floor. They trade strikes, Doug sends AJ across but AJ reverses only for Doug to stop himself from hitting the corner, before dumping AJ to the apron. He avoids a shoulder and kicks AJ across the chest, sending him to the floor. Doug heads to the apron and hits a Hilo to the floor, and commentary remarks how that’s not usual for him. A bit of babyface fire from him then! He sends AJ back in, he goes back in and goes back on the attack, as Commentary talks about how Doug was the odd man out in Fortune, there were 5 of them holding up 4 fingers. Shoutout to Taz and Tenay for burying their stupid hand gesture!!
S: Only now does the group of Fortune make sense because they can do their hand gesture since Dougie is gone now. They’re now officially….. FORTUNE FOUR!
JT: Finally!! Anyone who pushed for the FOUR HORSEMAN REVIVAL to have MORE THAN FOUR PEOPLE should try and relearn their addition and subtraction.
S: In conclusion. 5 ≠ 4, kids. There is in fact a difference of 1 between 4 and 5.
JT: So back to the action as AJ goes for a kick out of the corner, only for Doug to sends it back, catching it on the rope so he could kick him on the hamstring, then clothesline him and do his signature taunt. They trade strikes again, Doug sends him into the corner hitting a knee, then rolling him out and going up top, only for AJ to knock him off to the floor. AJ drapes him across the middle rope with elbows, then a Springboard Moonsault by AJ, 1—2–Kickout!! Williams tries come back, AJ with the classic leapfrog & Dropkick, 1—2—Kickout!! Good 2010 AJ, magnificent. AJ goes for a Suplex, Doug blocks so AJ puts him on the apron. Doug fights him off but as he comes back in, AJ hits him with a Dropkick and Doug’s leg gets hung up, becoming a target for AJ. AJ works it over as he
gets the Figure 4 in, but they roll not just to the rope but all the way to the floor, where Doug turns it. Counts gets up to 8, but they both make it back in. AJ grabs a single leg, but Doug drops to a knee into a Facebuster. Headbutt, Uppercut, Headbutt, Uppercut knocks AJ down, followed by Clothesline, Back Elbow, and Doug goes for a Suplex, only for AJ to slide behind them he swings and gets caught with an Exploder Suplex, 1—2—Kickout!! Doug sends AJ across, AJ reverses but runs right into a boot in the corner, then a Diving Uppercut by Williams, 1—2—Kickout again! Doug goes for Rolling Chaos, AJ hits an Elbow, then the Springboard Moonsault into the Reverse DDT for 2!! AJ goes for the Figure 4 again, Williams rolls him up!! 1—2—Kickout!!AJ nails a right hand, knocking him down but then Doug starts to fight his way back up. They trade shots, but AJ hits a Pele and sends Doug to the floor. AJ goes for the Phenomenal Forearm to the floor, Doug moves out of the way, pushes AJ into the barricade, into the Rolling Chaos on the floor!! NCount gets up to 9, AJ breaks the count. Why? Why did the heel defending Champion roll back in instead of taking the court out retain? Your assessment Seán?
S: Maybe it was a case of him being so woozy from taking the Chaos Theory on the floor that he didn’t think before he acted on coming back in? Apart from that, I got absolutely nought.
JT: Call it confusion, call it pride, whatever you’d call it, it was the wrong choice for AJ. For when he slides back in, Doug pulls him in, and after giving a “Why the fuck not” look, he lifts, goes for the Styles Clash, and hits it!! 1–2—3!!! New Champion!! New got ourselves a new Television Champion!!
S: I absolutely love that he beat him with his own move! When do you ever see that happen in wrestling?
JT: Almost never. I was really caught off guard by that ending. And personally I can’t really tell if I think it’s a good thing or a bad thing if I’m being honest.
S: I think it’s a good thing that Doug won, maybe beating him with the Clash was booked for that real shock factor and really catch the fans off guard. I’ll be honest, it completely caught me off too. Maybe if he hit him with the Styles Clash on the outside and then won with the Chaos Theory, that would’ve been a more epic finish but look, it is what it is. What’d you think of the match?
JT: I feel like my expectations were too high because I feel like this kinda underwhelmed me. They had good action and had a bit of a story with the leg but they never really did much with it outside of a few spots. On top of that, the ending was particularly weird with Ring General almost letting AJ get counted out only for AJ to beat the count to keep the match and chance to lose his title going. And speaking of which he immediately slides back in only to get his own finisher and lose. Although that last part wasn’t bad, like you said it was really surprising and it was interesting, but it was odd. That said though, it’s nice to see Doug get a clean win over AJ for a singles belt, I feel like this here is probably the peak of his career in TNA.
S: I particularly enjoyed this match, I thought the two meshed well together, yeah the points about not doing much leg based working over aside from the few spots but I did really like this match. The ending caught me off guard because I was sure he’d beat him with the Chaos Theory but I don’t see it as enough to hamper my enjoyment of the match. This match is probably the last great moment of his TNA run, he does reunite with Magnus to do a British Invasion reunion around Slammiversary time next year but here, this is definitely the peak of his TNA run. Doug did get a fair go of it in TNA to be fair.
JT: Yeah considering the UK Wrestling scene had not developed into the monster it’d become later in the decade, Doug did very well for a Brit in America. IWGP Tag Champ, TNA Tag Champ, X Division Champ & Television Champ. Hell, he was only a World Title win away from the Grand Slam!! Not bad considering his whole TNA run lasted what, 4-5 years? There were loads of guys around for that long who didn’t do half as much as he did. So here’s to you, our new TV Champ! And here’s to the first real wound that Immortal have been given thus far!
S: Good on ya, Doug. Do the family crest proud.
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JT: Thus far we’ve got through a bunch of Final Resolution so far, some good, some bad, all TNA. With that in mind Seán, I don’t know about you, but I’m feel a little tuckered out right about now. Do you think it’s about that time?
S: Oh man, I gotta say that I’m gonna need a recharge of sorts. That’s right, it’s time for the recharge.
JT: For anyone new here, the Recharge is our halfway point, where we take some time to just shift our eyes elsewhere from whatever we’re talking about on this episode to the present day. We like it because it dates our episodes very nicely. I’m sure we said something stupid about “when this is all over” back in our episodes from earlier this spring.
S: Probably did to be honest, so James, we’re back in the recharge room in an undisclosed bunker somewhere on planet earth, first question I must ask is how’s all with you lately?
JT: Well as things have been the last month, things have been interesting as of late. First and most importantly, I’ve gone back to school. For everyone who doesn’t know, I’m in the first semester of my first (and presumably last) year of college. I also go to school out of state, so given the pandemic and how things are very much still a problem here in America, I spent the summer wondering how things would play out. Well after a bit of a delay where I spent the first 2 weeks of the semester online, I’m officially back on campus! Technical issues have meant that I’m still not in a class yet, so I’m still using Zoom to be in my lectures, but I’m back on campus with my roommates and that’s what matters. Just being able to talk and hang out with people other than my family has been very refreshing, even though it’s only been a week (as of time of recording of course).
S: Yeah the same for me regarding the whole socialising aspect to be honest with ya. Like as much as I like socialising with my family, there’s only so much time you can spend with them before longing to see your friends.
JT: It’s just not the same type of relationship. Family is family, friends are friends. Though both mean a lot, I feel I’m in a different headspace for each. I’m not gonna say that I got sick of my family or anything like that, but not having a chance to turn off family brain even for like an hour once a week can get to you. Even when you call friends through zoom or text them or anything like that, it ain’t the same type of thing. Sometimes you just need to sit in the same room as them.
S: Yeah for sure, as for me, I’ll be starting college in Maynooth University soon so that I’m looking forward to. So James, any thoughts on current wrestling as of today? We know that tonight is AEW’s All Out show so there’s that.
JT: Well I haven’t watched live wrestling in some time, due to the wackiness of all the stuff going on as we’ve discussed, but I might watch All Out tonight. It depends on how much I get done today. We’ll see. But it’s certainly an interesting show. Quite frankly I think AEW have been blowing NXT out of the water as out late. I feel like Moxley is the type of top champion NXT really needs right now, and I think putting him against MJF at this stage is rather unpredictable. I feel unsure as of who will win, and I love that. I also really love what they’re doing with Omega/Hangman/FTR, I think it’s real intriguing and can go in many different directions. I also like how Brodie Lee recently murdered Cody. I’m not going to act like the Dark Order or even Brodie are my favorite acts or my picks to unseat Cody, but they executed that storyline in a very effect way. Shame about that Women’s Division though.
S: Yeah AEW are really doing some interesting stuff as of late, I think the champions they have as of right now are all brilliant. Moxley has just been the perfect top guy for them, hasn’t he? Kenny and Hangman, I was skeptical when they beat SCU at first but they’ve really taken the ball and ran with it, they’ve great chemistry as a team and on screen together. Brodie has improved from his initial character as The Exalted One, he’s doing brilliantly. The women’s division. Great champion, zero direction with the division, they honestly don’t really know what the hell they’re doing with most of the women. Shame really because they’ve got the talent.
JT: Speaking of got the talent, NXT sure has been messy. So after suddenly getting hot shot to not the North American Title, but the World Title, our boy (well he’s too good to be a boy) Keith Lee got both belts!! Fuck yeah!! And then he lost them a month later to Karrion Kross. Which was decidedly less hype. But that’s okay maybe his reign….never mind he’s hurt and it’s back to the revolving carousel of Gargano/Ciampa/Cole!! And why not throw in Finn “Where’s your Scissors Sid?” Balor?
S: Very bizarre stuff, there’s no denying that at all. I just don’t understand why they aren’t using this golden opportunity to try and give the ball to a new guy who hasn’t held the belt before and try and make a new star out of it. I get it’s good to have a solid foundation with the four lads in last week’s match but why continually rely on them?
JT: Now I’ll give them a bit of an excuse, since the Champ they had built up got hurt literally the day he won the belt. So I get that they had to desperately throw together a match for the title with credible guys. But honestly? I think they should’ve waited. I think they should’ve done a whole ass tournament or at least a mini bracket. Like even an 8 man thing, 4 former Champions vs 4 guys who have never challenged for the belt. Do like Balor, Gargano, Cole, Ciampa, Thatcher, Grimes, Lumis & Kushida. Or include Killain Dain, or let the other 3 Undisputed Era guys try and fight for the belt! They were definitely forced into a corner, which is not their fault, but their failure to have assets they could use in case of a worst case scenario is a sign of their struggles. You mean to tell me your main event & upper Midcard consists of 6 guys?
S: It’s mind boggling considering the sheer amount of talent they have. Should we get down to our questions for this recharge?
JT: Well my question today has to do with something we mentioned earlier that I saved until this moment. If it’s alright with you, I’ll keep the same usual “3 guesses, 1 hint” rule applied for this question. The question is question of course is this, what happened to Stevie Richards? How does this whole EV2.0 thing shake out for him? And if that’s too vague, I’ll try to be more specific.
S: I’ll use my first guess and say that he got straight up fired after his match with AJ on the Impact after Turning Point.
JT: Well considered what happened to Raven, that’d make sense. And though he was taken away in a neck brace after that match, he was still around! Your next guess?
S: I’m just gonna use my hint if that’s grand with you.
JT: Fine with me. So as an added fun fact, after he was taken out in a neck brace, TNA still aired a match from Xplosion, where Stevie pinned……OKADA!!! THAT FUCKING OKADA!! Anyway, the hint here is that Stevie was on the books in TNA until 2011, when someone made a decision to do something.
S: I’m gonna guess that (slight spoiler) Bully Ray does a job on him and takes him out.
JT: Nope that’s not it! I’ll give one last hint, just because I think I worded this question kinda badly. Sorry y’all, I think Seán knows how to run this segment better than I do. The last hint: it’s not dramatic in the least, and unlike Sabu & Raven where their ends were a mix of inside and outside kayfabe, his is not as well tied up. Pretty much, his end comes outside of kayfabe, you feel me?
S: So does he just get straight up released? 😂
JT: Even better!! He just straight up says “You guys aren’t paying me a living wage, I’m sick of it, I quit!”. This whole situation feels so weird, because they at least had an endgame for the likes of Sabu, Raven & Rhino. But Stevie, they wrote him off despite still keeping him around, and keeping him around for dirt cheap. Feels kinda shitty for Stevie, who should at least get some class and respect upon leaving. I mean, he did more for TNA than Sabu ever did, that’s for sure. And yet, he has to just quit because he’s not even paid a living wage. That’s fucked up TNA.
S: It really is, he was great in TNA as Dr. Stevie, that really allowed him to show another dimension to him as a performer because Stevie really is a bit of a versatile wrestler. We all know he’s a solid hand in ring but character wise, he’s really had a lot of different characters as himself and I think he deserves more respect on that alone.
JT: And you know what else he did in 2011, as an example of his versatility? Well the baseball video game MLB 2K11 held a contest, where the first person to pitch a Perfect Game (a game where the pitchers allows no base runners, getting all 27 batters out in a row) would get 1 million dollars. Well, STEVIE WON THE CONTEST!! Except, he did it before the contes had technically begun!! So basically, not only was TNA screwing him out of a well paying job, but he got screwed out of a cool million by 2K!! Poor Stevie had some shitty luck in 2011.
S: Wouldn’t be like 2K to be shady bastards, would it? That’s some crap luck, fucking hell. He’s doing good nowadays having a role in DDPY and is in amazing shape in his late 40’s. Every cloud has a silver lining. Now my question. It’s quite the question, isn’t it?
JT: I think I know what it is and I don’t think I’ll be prepared at all. But here we go anyway.
S: So the question is as follows, James. How many times did Robbie E fist pump throughout his time on screen on Final Resolution?
JT: Oh god, are we talking individual fist pumps or sets of multiple fist pumps?
S: The total number of fist pumps which includes all individual and multiple sets.
JT: Oh jeez, I’m going to start with a conservative estimate of a baker’s dozen of fist pumps, 13 fist pumps. Final answer.
S: That is not the answer. Second guess or would you like your hint?
JT: I’d like my hint now, if you would kindly do so. Otherwise I’m just shooting off random guesses here. I sure as fuck don’t know how many times that Tony Khan lookalike did that annoying shit.
S: I think this a decent enough guess for ya. The total number is somewhere within the teens and I don’t mean Austin Theory and someone’s dm’s.
JT: Heyoooo!! I’m going to go ahead and make my next guess 16!! Is it 16??
S: Close but no cigar, your last guess please, James?
JT: Close but no cigar eh?? Well then I’m going to guess…….15!! And even 15 fist pumps!!
S: DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER BABY!!!
JT: VICTORY IS MINE!! Thank you so much for doing this valuable research for us all.
S: No problem at all, join us next time for The Recharge and now we must head back to the show where I think there’s gonna be some Full Metal Mayhem.
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Full Metal Jacksons
JT: Alright everyone we’re out of the Recharge and back into the Impact Zone, and as Seán just said, it’s time for Full Metal Mayhem. It’s 2x Power Hour MOTN winners, 2x Power Hour MVPs, it’s the reigning, defending TNA Tag Champions Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin, the Motor City Machine Guns, hanging their belts high above the ring against Max & Jeremy Bucks, those entitled bratty but talented SOBs, Generation Me!! So Seán, if that intro didn’t make it clear enough, why don’t you just make sure everyone knows what a “Full Metal Mayhem” is and what it entails for these two tag teams.
S: So essentially what a Full Metal Mayhem match is it’s basically TNA’s name for a TLC match but with some added twists on to it so anything which is metal is legal much like a chain, thumbtacks, crowbars, the works.
JT: I’ve gotta say, some TNA branding stuff can come off as tacky or cheap. You know, the obvious sort of “WWE has a match type that we want to do but we can’t call it that so we’ll call it something barely legally distinct”. But this? This is a good name, and a good way of giving the branding a little extra spice. I like it.
S: Yeah same here, it just makes it stand out compared to when other promotions outside of WWE would do TLC or Ladder Matches at this time. It’s a real cool match stip indeed.
JT: So how did this one come about, considering the last time these two faced off was back at BFG, meaning they skipped a month! So despite the Guns successfully retaining their titles, GenMe still wanted a piece of them. And with Team 3D no longer around to block them from getting their title shot, they renewed their hostilities after Jeremy pinned Sabin in an 8 Man Tag on November. Now confident they could beat the Guns, GenMe challenged Sabin & Shelley to an Empty Arena Match. The Guns accepted and won, again. Yet, GenMe wouldn’t go away, leading to Sabin & Shelley accepting this as a means to finally end their feud. I’ve gotta say, Impact really weren’t give the Bucks a whole lot of story to work with were they?
S: No not at all, I also find it really surprising that they never get at least one win in proper tag action, was the empty arena match for the tag titles at all?
JT: I mean based on the fact they lost, I’m lead to believe so, but I can’t even find the match on the database site Cagematch, so it’s entirely possible that they didn’t even have the titles on the line, which would surprise me. I mean when I went back through my notes and information available online, I almost forgot that the Bucks actually lost the Empty Arena Match. They don’t really touch on it much during the PPV, considering there’s always so much action going on, so I just figured they won the Empty Arena Match to get their title shot. I mean, surely you’d build up your challengers by having them win, right? I guess apparently not! Did you know that through this entire feud, starting all the way back in January, GenMe only beat the Guns (in a regular 2 vs 2 tag) once televised, and only one other time untelevised! You wanna guess when that one win was?
S: Was it on a TNA house show sometime?
JT: Let me re-state my question. They actually did manage to beat the Guns on a house show on May 1st, in Greenwood Mississippi. But do you know when they got their only other Televised win over the Guns happened? In their debut match back on January 5th, the first Impact of the year.
S: We’re talking straight up two on two tag match, right?
JT: That is correct.
S: This is a toughie, was it sometime between No Surrender and Bound for Glory?
JT: You’d think that wouldn’t you? But no. The only win GenMe ever got on TV against the Guns, without any other parties involved, was on JANUARY 5TH, the very first Impact of the year. That means we’re here on the final PPV of the year, with GenMe getting a Full Metal Mayhem match against a team they hadn’t beaten man on man, in 11 months. I don’t if you want to call that “long term booking” or just “Jeez you really had them feud from January-March then August-December and never had them beat the Guns, not even with cheating?”.
S: Awh man I was gonna say that match but I thought you already mentioned it hahaha. A massive brain fart from me there. I think they should’ve at least given GenMe a short enough reign with the belts if you ask me, just to add a little spice to their feud.
JT: I’m not sure if GenMe necessarily had to win the titles during this feud, considering they were building up the Guns very strongly after beating Beer Money & Team 3D (as we saw last month) but I still think given the stipulation here they had a good chance to build up GenMe a bit stronger. Whether you have the Bucks win the Empty Arena Match, where you can not have the titles on the lines to add to the unofficial nature of the match, or you just saw them win say a Table Match in the build to this, they could’ve used a bit more juice just to be safe.
S: Yeah absolutely, like I’m hyped for the match regardless but it would’ve added that extra bit of legitimacy to GenMe for this match imo.
JT: Well instead of that little story wrinkle, we get a Gen Me backstage promo, where they say their TNA careers will come full circle as they win the titles off the team they began fighting. Then they pivot and say it’s not all about titles, it’s the end of a blood feud where they beat and end the career of “those 30 year old video game playing dorks”, finishing by saying its all about Me. And ughh, what did you think of this very brief mic work by young Max & Jeremy?
S: I didn’t think it was too bad, like it’s not great by any means, they would get more comfortable on the mic and with their personalities. The catchphrase doesn’t even make sense because it implies that it’s about one dude, not the team so the catchphrase basically is false.
JT: Yeah that catchphrase is something that’s good on paper but doesn’t make sense practicality. A team of whiny, self obsessed kids? Yeah that works! But saying “it’s all about me” when there’s 2 of you? Bad. And I will say, though I still don’t think the Bucks are particularly good at promos, they’ve absolutely become more comfortable on the mic. Alright, before we get into the Mayhem, shall I run down our “Tag Lines” for tonight?
S: Please do, I always love hearing what the Tag Lines are.
JT: Alrighty then, here are our Tag Lines:
-“No Entitlements for Bucks….Can they earn the Gold?” aka they can’t steal the belt, they’ve gotta earn the belt
-“Empty Arena War” aka they had an Empty Arena Match on Reaction
-“Final Resolution is Full Metal Mayhem” it ends here with all the bits and pieces possible.
After those are displayed, GenMe come out and clear all the stuff out of the way, waiting at the bottom of the ramp for Shelley & Sabin to come out, who of course do and then rush down the ramp to meet
S: Fairly straightforward Tag Lines but it’s the key facts for this match.
JT: They’ve gotta make sure you’re got all your facts straightforward and correct for the chaotic match to come. And with that in mind, why do we get to the Full Metal Mayhem?
S: Time to unravel the mayhem if you ask me.
JT: Let the mayhem begin!! And it begins almost right away, as GenMe clear stuff out of the way and just wait at the bottom of the ramp for the Guns, who just run down to the ring and start fighting. GenMe in control right at the start, sitting Shelley down in a chair, as Jeremy hits the Springboard X-Factor on Sabin then Moonsaults out onto Shelley. Bring out the plunder as Max starts to set up a table on the floor. The fans are clearly behind the Guns, but it’s not doing much good as Gen Me hold up Sabin in a Wheelbarrow to get hit with a Roundhouse to the chest then a DDT. Baseball Slide by Max, then he holds the ropes down as he hangs over them, but Sabin clotheslines Jeremy, then hits a Sliding Dropkick to Max as Shelley holds him in place. Shelley brings the chair in but Jeremy stomps down on his hand, then wedges the chair in the corner. Sabin tries to send him into it, but Jeremy stops himself, only to get caught with a shot from Shelley. They hit one Poetry in Motion with chops to the chest, but as they follow up Max sends Jeremy a chair and he throws it right into the face of Sabin!! Let me ask you about this, since it’s happened a few times in this series so far. What do you think about chairs being thrown at guys faces? Do you think it works as far as the story goes, do you think it’s better than straight headshots, either as a means for story or for safety reasons? Please, grace us with your opinions.
S: I think it works in both the story and for safety reasons tbh. In the story, throwing a chair is more quick and sudden because these are both fast paced teams. For safety, it’s a million miles better than getting clattered with a swinging chair shot to the head like. It’s still not ideal but I’d rather have a chair thrown at me by Sabu than get cracked with a chair by Balls Mahoney.
JT: Yeah it certainly doesn’t hav e the same effect but honestly that’s a good thing at this rate. Back into the action now as Jeremy hit a high crescent kick to Shelley, then a running Dropkick that sends him right into the aforementioned chair in the corner. GenMe then try to win the match by bringing a ladder into play but the Guns hit baseball slides back into it. From there, Shelley holds the ropes open, Sabin dives through right into a chair held up by Max, who then hits Shelley on the knees with a chair, knocking him from the apron to the floor. Some time passes, Shelley props the ladder on Jeremy in the corner, then tries to use it for Sliced Bread on Max but he reverses and gets a Powerbomb right into the ladder in the corner!! From there, Jeremy falls with the Ladder out of the corner on Shelley!! Jeremy sets and climbs the Ladder, Max tries to hold Shelley but he hits an Atomic Drop on him, then is a step stool for Sabin to run and spear Jermey off the ladder, which gets a surprisingly flat reaction. Did you find the crowd was a little quieter at this point?
S: Yes, I most certainly did notice that they were much quieter here in this match and especially for this spot, that surprised the hell out of me, as good as the crowd is tonight, they’re not perfect.
JT: Why do think they quieted down here? Do you think it’s a case of fatigue or a lack of interest? One idea I’m just gonna throw out there is that I think sometimes crowds during these kinda matches get caught in the habit of always looking for something bigger. They get so possessed looking and waiting for the “Edge Spears a hanging Jeff Hardy out of the air to the mat” spot that they don’t pay enough mind to what’s happening in the presents.
S: I think that’s definitely the case here, maybe a case of fatigue, which surprises me because this match is fucking amazing. With TNA crowds, it’s probably the most likely scenario because they’re so conditioned to seeing insane spots in matches like Full Metal Mayhem, Ultimate X, Monster’s Ball, six sides of steel and so on and so forth.
JT: That’s very true, I didn’t even think to consider that last part. I mean, how many times have they seen someone fall from a high height already in an Ultimate X or Lethal Lockdown or Monster’s Ball? How many times has someone be hit with chairs and put through tables? I guess it’s a case of diminishing returns on this night, which is a shame for Gen Me because I’m sure this match was huge for their placement in the company. Like, this match has clearly been put on the show to be an outstanding match, and if the crowd isn’t buying into it it’s even harder to have a good match, and if they can’t have a big performance here, TNA’s gonna have less faith in them than they did going in.
S: I think that would be unfair to GenMe to be honest with you, these guys have probably been some of TNA’s top performers in 2010 alongside The Guns, Styles, Beer Money and all the workhorses.
JT: The fact they’re over at all despite being not great on the mic and having the character of “bratty young wrestlers” is a testament to their ability as performers.
S: It really is, before we get back into this match, The Bucks/GenMe were getting a fair bit of stick around this time, not for their in ring prowess but in fact but the way they looked. Would you say that they’re ‘Hardy Boyz rip offs’?
JT: Honestly, as someone whose done my fair bit of criticizing these two, I think calling their “Hardy Boys rip offs” is an unfair criticism. Now, I can see where that might come from, considering they’re both teams of brothers that do high flying moves. But as far as their look, I suppose they look similar to like very early Hardy Boys from like 1997, but that’s hardly the definitive look for them. I think if you compare them to the Hardy Boys when they were at their biggest in like 99-01, they really aren’t that similar. IMO the Bucks have more in common with the neons and long hair of the Rockers than they do with the sort of edgy punk/goth look of the Hardys.
S: Yeah exactly, they’ve got more of a retro look in terms of their ring gear and overall look like The Rockers and The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express than The Hardyz to be honest with yeah.
JT: That said, I think throwing them into his situation is going to draw Hardys comparisons, since they helped make this sort of thing a big deal. But on the other hand, I’m surprised they didn’t get more Edge & Christian comparisons. We all know E&C aren’t actually brothers like the Bucks are but they were presented like it, and E&C are more in line with the entitled snotty characters GenMe play.
S: Yeah actually, now that you say it, that comparison makes a whole lotta sense, shall we wrap up this mayhem if you will?
JT: Yeah let’s see if GenMe can pull and E&C are walk away with the titles. So Max with the Backflip into the Headscissor then tries to use that to climb up the ladder, with Jeremy coming in with a Missile Dropkick to the back then a Suicide Dive on Sabin on the floor. Max sets the ladder, but Shelley grabs his leg and pulls it through the rings, hitting a Dragon Screw through the ladder, which is an awesome spot. Max is sandwiched inside the ladder as he gets a Double Stomp then Jeremy gets throw stomach first onto the ladder and his brother, followed by a bulldog. Shelley tries to hold both Bucks as Sabin climbs but they ram him into the ladder, tipping it and sending Sabin off the top onto the ropes. Sabin rams Jeremy into the Ladder in the corner, Max gets hung up by his feet on the opposite, Shelley holds a chair in front for a Hesitation Dropkick in the corner. The Guns lay a Ladder and chairs on top both Gen Me and Shelley hits a Double Foot Stomp off the top, Shelley is fingertips away but can’t get the titles, the ladder is just too short. So they get more ladders, now there’s 3 ladders in the ring, all next to each other. Gen Me get back up and everyone is one a ladder, both teams trading shots, before everyone gets pulled down. High Kick from Jeremy on Shelley, backflip Headscissor has got him caught as Jeremy grabs a Chair, but Sabin takes it from him, hits him in the gut then slides it to Shelley who throws it to Max who holds it for a Codebreaker. Sounds cooler in execution, not as cool when you can hear a fan yell “Why would you hold it” then mime holding it and getting hit in the front row, which I may or may not have confused with RVD doing the Van Daminator earlier in the show. Much like these performers, I too am not perfect. So Shelley goes for a Table from the floor and puts it down flat across all 3 ladders. Shelley tries to hold back Jeremy but he gives him a low blow, and he then tries to hop through the ropes for the Moonsault again but Shelley holds him on his shoulders, allowing Sabin to hit a Springboard Crossbody Plancha to the floor!! Guns bring another table in, setting up in the ring, but as they finish up, Jeremy hits Shelley with a chair then slides it right across the table into Sabin! Innovative offense by the Bucks! Max holds him as Jeremy goes to climb the other side, but Shelley with a Superkick to him, then a back elbow to Max, then a Sliced Bread off the apron through a table on Jeremy!! Max & Sabin climb the top with chairs, they stand up on top, do the chair duel spot, with Max’s hands hurting, leading to him dropping the chair and Sabin hitting him with the chair across the back so he’d fly off the top through the table!! Sabin is all alone and though the table almost tips over, he still the belts and wins it for Motor City!!
S: Boy oh boy oh boy. What a fucking bout this was, I mean should we expect any less of The Guns and GenMe at this stage, these two teams simply have only had banging matches with each other throughout 2010 and this was no different. The crowd being weird aside, this was an awesome match. I honestly enjoyed it from beginning to end, the creativity between the four of these lads with the spots they came up was immense. I particularly enjoyed the double stomp onto GenMe from Shelley whilst Max and Jeremy were sandwiched between the ladder. The Triangle Ladder Match spot with the flat table being used as a platform across the ladders with the finish of one man taking a crash and burn spot through a table for the finish. Spoilers folks, it’s match of the night.
JT: I definitely think this was a great match. I liked a lot of what they did here, like you mentioned the table bridge was spectacular and could’ve been disastrous in less qualified hands. I also really liked the spot where the chair got slide along the table. It was probably over sold, but rarely are tables are thought of as a surface. That said, I do think this match did get a bit contrived at times, especially that “hold the chair” spot. I also am not necessarily a fan of ending it with the chair duel spot, mostly because it’s the same exact spot almost every time, but given the precarious position I’ll give them the excuse that they can’t really move around much up there. I’m also someone who really relies on the crowd and I think my enjoyment would’ve really got there if the crowd were behind this like the should’ve been. Like with a more active crowd this could’ve been my favorite match of this whole arc so far. But as it stands I think it is behind the other two tag title matches we’ve had so far, although that’s nothing to sneeze at. This was still pretty damn good.
S: I think it’s safe to say that The Guns at this time are easily best tag team in the world, right?
JT: I’ll drink to that. It’s one think to have good matches on a regular basis, it’s another thing to have great matches back to back to back shows on 3 different parts of the card with 3 separate gimmicks.
S: Yeah without a doubt and these guys every show just innovate every single time they wrestle, it’s a real testament to their work rate and ability.
JT: So as we close out another Motor City Machine Guns segment, the sentiment will stay the same as the last two times: great stuff.
S: Agreed. Moving on?
JT: Moving on!!
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Pope is Limpin’
JT: Up next we’ve got another sequel to a previous episode’s match. Pope & Abyss are going at it again, but this time in order to win, someone has to get stuffed in a Casket.
S: That rotter Abyss, he’s been stuffing many guys into caskets lately, hasn’t he?
JT: That he has! How else is he supposed to set up this match? By not obviously stuffing people in caskets?
S: Doesn’t that just render the casket match stipulation redundant though? I mean he faced my boy, Shannon Moore in a bleeding casket match like.
JT: The whole stipulation is weird because there’s just no natural way to bring it up, unless you’re the Undertaker or you’re Kane, setting up a feud with Undertaker. Like you can’t naturally have a casket around or bring up a casket naturally, it just doesn’t work that way. But dammit, it’s a way to spice up what was a pretty dull match last time around.
S: Also, The Pope is a religious man and is intrinsically involved with a religious community so he probably knows a thing or two about caskets
JT: How the fuck did I overlook that?!? That seems plain as day. I’m definitely too harsh about wrestling being overly obvious when I miss something like that. So Seán, shall I break down the build for this one?
S: The floor is yours, mon ami.
JT: Alright so we get a hype package, which replays the results of Turning Point, where Pope’s own congregation turned on him thanks to some money from ATM Eric Bischoff. But instead of having his spirit broken,Pope became more intense than ever, going after Abyss and Bischoff, fighting them all over the Impact Zone week after week, referring to himself as the Monster Killer. Abyss also had that Casket Match against Shannon, and brawled with Pope & Joe & Kurt Angle while teaming with Jeff Jarrett. Yeah, so uhhhh, very little has happened between shows. Just introduce the gimmick, brawl and kick the can, and now it’s time to put it on PPV. It feels like this is almost positioned at this point on the card not because they care about this feud but because it’s a come down from Full Metal Mayhem before the main event stuff.
S: This match is so clearly the come down on the card, it ain’t even funny. It’s like Hawkins and Slater randomly having a match in between Roman vs Braun and Lesnar vs Joe at Great Balls of Fire
JT: To further exemplify the lack of fucks given to this match, Pope has dropped the face mask and money drop from his entrance! He’s got a generic army looking vest jacket, because he’s going to war with Abyss of whatever.
S: So fucking lame compared to his look and entrance last month, I understand it’s a more serious match but the army vest just doesn’t suit Pope or his character.
JT: Yeah instead of thinking about The Pope D’Angelo Dinero coming out for his match against the rival he hates and wants to put in a Casket, I end up thinking about Killshot from Lucha Underground, who not only looked cool with his army getup but actually had an awesome kayfabe reason for doing so. Pour one out for Lucha Underground.
S: Big ups LU and shouts to my boys Limp Bizki- I mean Killshot and Dante Fox. Sorry, I was too busy channeling my inner Paul E there. Carry on.
JT: Well don’t channel Paul E too much because I need my cut from this episode!! Haha, that’s just a joke, this doesn’t make jack and or shit. But it gives us more TNA action, so with my shitty segway done, shall we get into this match?
S: Yeah let’s just get this match underway, might as well rip this proverbial band aid off.
JT: Yeah let’s get this over with. So right off the bell Pope tries to chop down Abyss with kicks to the leg but Abyss responds with knees to the gut and almost already throws Pope into the casket. Like he already throws him to the apron and Pope has to hang on for dear life. Dinero gets back in and fights back with some shots, but Abyss goozles him and throws him to the floor, only for Pope to pull him out under the bottom rope, starting to use the stairs and guardrails to his advantage. From there he starts to open up on The Monster with repeated knees to the face, and Seán I believe you have a Taz-ism to discuss that happens right as Pope knees Abyss over and over?
S: Oh you bet your last penny sweet I’ve a Taz-ism for ya, I’ve noted down as follows: Pope gives repeated knees to Abyss, who is sat in the corner of the barricades. Tazz says Pope is like a ‘Rock ’em, Sock ’em robot’, boxing robots who are of course renowned for their knee based strikes. Danke, Tazz.
JT: Taz, my man, Pope actually has boxing offense in his repertoire. He’s done it in matches before in this arc where he lights another guy up with punches, why not then? Oh you precious goofball you.
S: Bless his orange shades, we know we love ya Taz but you have your wee silly moments, bless ya.
JT: Seán, please be careful of using the word “wee” or “small” or “little” when bringing him up our color commentary friend. I get the feeling he has a short fuse about that sort of stuff.
S: Apologies in advance, Taz. It was mistake on my behalf. It won’t happen again, Sir. You’d wanna be careful of your use of the word ‘short’ too, Sonny Jim.
JT: Oh of course, and we should stop punching down at Taz and get back to the Pope punching out the Monster like a Rock-Em Sock-Em Robot. So after unloading on Abyss on the floor, D’Angelo tries to put him in the casket put Abyss fights him off. They make their way back in, Pope avoids a corner splash by Abyss and hits one of his own followed by a Bulldog. He then tries to go up top but slips a little then gets thrown off directly onto the casket. That did not look pleasant, but lucky for Pope, the crowd doesn’t react nearly as much as they should of for it. The Crowd seems quieter than it’s been all night. Can you confirm this?
S: Oh most definitely, these poor fuckers are spent after watching a mostly great hour and a half or so of wrestling. They seem spent in this one.
JT: It’s a shame because Pope could use all the help he could get against Abyss, who continues to lay on the punishment with a splash in the corner. He then has the casket opened, but Pope slips free and dropkicks him, almost sending Abyss into the Casket himself. Pope tries to strike him in, but a Headbutt leads to a Samoan style bounce back on Pope. Poor form man, you should know better. Feeling like he’s on the ropes, Pope jump onto The Monster for a desperation Sleeper hold, only for Abyss to swing his legs out and drop D-Lo with a Sideslam. Abyss tries to dump him in the casket again, Pope again fights back and manages to lands on the apron, but then an Abyss Headbutt knocks Pope back into the Casket. He’s in the thing, but Pope hits a kick and stops him from closing it. He goes up top and manages to nail a Diving Shoulder Block, then an STO. He gets multiple Inverted Atomic Drops, then a Diving Bulldog. He can’t pick Abyss up so he tries to Abyss in, but Abyss catches him around the throat and stops him from closing it right as he goes to shut the box. Pope is forced back into the ring, he tries to fight him off and hits the ropes but only comes back into a Blackhole Slam. Abyss dumps him in, then slowly tries to close it, allowing Pope to stop it, gotta love the horror movie level deliberation just to make sure Pope can save himself!
S: It’s a great spot but fucking hell, this would’ve been a grand spot to end it, wouldn’t it? 😂
JT: Well luckily for everyone, this match keeps going from there! After all, we have to get the iffy spot where the big man is pushing down on the casket with one hand, but Pope pushes up and stops it from being closed before he nails a punch to knock him back. That’s right Pope, presses up against gravity and against a man who outweighs him by a kayfabe over 100 pounds or about 45 kilograms or 7 stone. Physics, that’s not how it work!
S: His fingers would be squashed like grapes by the casket lid if physics came into play here instead of oddly taking a few seconds off here.
JT: Honestly, if wrestling actually made sense and people thought through their spots a little more, I’d think a great casket match spot would involve the fingers. Imagine a devious heel pressing down on the casket on the face’s poor fingers, or a face smashing the casket down on the heel’s fingers to really stick it to em. That’d be class if you ask me.
S: It really would, tell you what isn’t class though, this match.
JT: Please contain yourself partner, it’s not much longer I promise. Settle down, I’ll finish it from here.
S: The band is nearly off, might as well just give me the sweet release.
JT: We’re almost there. And it looks like good will prevail and that Pope has the match in the bag, because after thwarting Abyss’s attempt to stuff him in the casket, he runs and hits the D’Angelo Dinero Express! He rolls Abyss into the Casket, he goes to close it, but can’t get the leverage from above so he stands on the floor and tries from there to slam it shut. And what happens? Well Abyss only goes busts through the casket with his fist and low blows him. Yep, just smashes through the wood frame to hit the Pope in his ornate jewels. He goes back in the ring, Abyss gets back in but Pope clotheslines him to the apron, but he cannot get him to fall off the apron, and Abyss pulls him over the top rope to join him on the apron. They trade shots, Abyss with another monster out low blow, then a Chokeslam into the Casket and Abyss shuts the lid to win. You’re obvious raring to rip into this so go ahead.
S: There’s several problems I have with this match, the first one being the positioning of it on the card. It’s coming right after two of which are probably the best matches of the night in the TV Title Match and Full Metal Mayhem, I understand it’s a big stipulation match but we’ve already had about FOUR BEFORE THIS AND WE’VE GOT ANOTHER TWO TO GO! This is the problem you face when you just have gimmick match overload, it’s been a problem in TNA since about 2007 or late 2006 at this stage so nearly four years of excessive amounts of gimmick matches on PPV and even on Impact as well. It’s in the death spot, the crowd wasn’t into it, neither was I and Pope jobs to Abyss again. Why? Why couldn’t you have him win at least one match against Abyss instead of jobbing twice in a row on PPV, it’s no wonder Matt Morgan, Ken Skellington and Bob Van Dam are your only legitimate main event faces when the heels are dominating over the faces who could easily be elevated. There’s another instance of that later. The hand punching through the casket was cool, why your big monster is resorting to testicular claws and low blows like a giant chickenshit heel is beyond me. Book him like a monster if he is TNA’s monster for fuck’s sake. Wasn’t particularly a fan of this one.
JT: Yeah I did not think this was a good match either. I found it pretty boring and unengaging throughout, although I was surprised to see the Monster win the casket match, considering the supernatural types seem to lose most of the time. Like you said, Abyss busting through the casket was like the one upside of this whole thing, and why a big monster man has to resort to cheap tricks is lost on me. And speaking of last, ohhh boy this feels like Abyss just shut the lid on Pope’s push. I mean he jobs in two straight PPVs, the first of which sees his whole family betray him and then here he fails to get any modicum of revenge. When you add that he’s lost the pizazz from his entrance, he feels a whole lot like Alberto Del Rio circa 2016, when he just whistled and twirled his finger a bunch.
S: And believe me, we all know about whistling finger twirling Del Rio in 2016. Check out our WrestleMania 32 Review, whopper review by the way. May possibly come to WordPress sometime.
JT: But really y’all, you can understand the implications of that. Man got stripped of his gimmicks and got chumpified in back to back PPVs by Abyss, who is already something of a goof considering he had already spent years feuding with Rellik (aka Killer spelled backwards), Judas Mesias, Bl*ck Re*gn (censored for you Goldie, love ya), fighting in the Doomsday Cage of Horrors, the Last Rites matches, and of course earlier in 2010 he had one of his infamous gimmicks ever: Fanboying over Hulk Hogan’s WWE Hall of Fame ring!!
S: THE MAGICAL RING! IT GAVE HIM THE ALMIGHTY POWERS OF HULK HOGAN!
JT: Yeah, so after getting his ass handed to him twice by that guy, on top of losing his entrance gimmicks, it feels to me like his push died and the casket lid got slammed shut.
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Tap or Slap (Nut)
S: Speaking of pushes dying, I think that brings us to our next match, don’t you think?
JT: What do you mean? The push of Double M-A, Martial Arts Master Jeff Jarrett is going as strong as ever!! In fact, it’s time for him to really prove his skills because he’s facing of against the Samoa Submission Machine Samoa Joe in a Submission Match!
S: I fear for Joe’s safety in this match, this new found art of Double J Double M-A is one of the deadliest forms of martial arts known to man.
JT: Oh absolutely! That’s why Jeff had an MMA Exhibition where he basically took down a bunch of professional fighters, who totally weren’t just jobbers. See Jeff is going to as Eric Bischoff said put on a clinic that the whole Gracie Family would admire. Of course, Joe is rather pissed off by this whole ordeal and cuts a hell of a promo against Jarrett and his MMA style. And he might not be the only guy Jeff has to worry about, as Kurt Angle returned from a casket to help save Joe & Pope in a brawl with Abyss & Jarrett, as we mentioned before. But Kurt’s not the one he’s facing tonight, he’s facing Joe. That’s why they have an official rules session with a ref backstage, where he explains that submission is the only way to win. And right as they’re ready to head out to the ring, Gunner & Murphy attack Joe!! Shenanigans have occurred, how will Joe be able to compete tonight after this attack?
S: I don’t know, James. The attack at the hands of Sergeant Boomer and ‘Not That’ Michael Cole may just be too malicious for our hero, Joe to be a 100% tonight.
JT: Yeah you can see it too, as Joe hobbles out to the ring while shooing off the doctors. Now before we get to the match I just want to have a quick discussion about Jarrett’s MMA Gear? Do you love it, do you hate it, what do you think my man?
S: I mean it’s well strange seeing Jeff Jarrett in board shorts with his proper MMA get up but I think it totally works for Jeff Jarrett’s current shtick, the shorts may look like swimming togs but you gotta love how naff this 43 year old Double J looks cosplaying as an MMA fighter.
JT: Yeah the idea that him, at his age, after all the years of wrestling, could just transition to MMA with ease is pretty damn funny. It’s got a real midlife crisis vibe to it.
S: Proper ‘Dad’s gone mad, hadn’t he, mum?’ from it, he’s quite the specimen in our Jeffrey.
JT: Agreed. So, shall we get into this submission match?
S: Let’s do it.
JT: The bell rings and Jarrett looks cocky but the crowd still chants Joe is gonna kill you. They lock up and Joe throws Jarrett back in the corner, then gets a One Arm Shoulder throw. Jeff gets a kick to the leg, then nails a punch, but Joe dares Jeff to come at him on guard. Jarrett tries to go at him, but Joe gets an Armbar, and Jeff squirms the ropes. Jeff tells him to get up, he charges Joe, who gets a Key Lock but Jeff gets the ropes again.Joe hammers him with rights in the corner, followed by face washes, only for Jarrett to grab the ankle, go to the floor and slam it into the Post. Much like Kurt Angle has in the past, Jarrett here is working over the Ankle of Joe. He tries for submissions on the ankle, Joe eventually rolls through, then pushes Jarrett off into the corner, then opens up with punches and chops before getting a Leg Bar only for Jeff to get the ropes again. Notice how Joe always fights out but Jarrett always goes for the ropes. Joe with an Inverted Atomic Drop, Discus Elbow, then a Senton with a Key Lock from there. Jarrett gets out and tries a Leapfrog, Joe catches him and Powerbombs him to the mat, before turning him over into a Cloverleaf. Double J manages to grab the ropes and pull himself out of the ring, but Joe follows him out and gets a Choke Outside the ring, but Jeff taps out, naturally it doesn’t count. Likewise, Jeff gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar back in the ring, but it doesn’t count with Jeff’s foot in the rope.
Then comes one of the most annoying bits of censorship I’ve ever seen in wrestling. The crowd chants “Bullshit” and what does TNA do? Well they censor the only part of that phrase that considered inappropriate, meaning we get to hear this hella annoying charging of “BullshBEEP” for the whole duration of the chant. Wasn’t that just wonderful?
S: Oh that was just music to my ears like listening to Fran Drescher for a few hours or Corey Feldman’s album, ‘Angelic to the Core’. I’ve got another bone to pick to TNA’s rules here.
JT: You know I’d never stop you from picking your bones, go ahead.
S: Joe taps Double J out with a fujiwara armbar but it’s not given because Jeff’s right leg was under the rope. Why?! There’s no rope breaks in a submission match because if you count to five and DQ someone, the rules of the match clearly state that the only way to win is by submission (verbal or tap out) only so a DQ would render the meaning of the match pointless. A submission match is always No DQ No Count Out for fuck’s sake.
JT: That’s always a tricky bit for Submission Matches, like you need strong characters to do it right. Like if you put the wrong guys in, it should reasonably just end up a No DQ Brawl but with submissions at the end instead of pinfalls. But of course, they want to make the matches technical, which then makes no sense when stuff like you just described happens. It’s a big old struggle to do submission matches right because there are already few guys who are good enough at submissions to justify it, let alone good bookers to book the match right.
S: I honestly don’t get how whomever booked this fucking match doesn’t know what the rules are. You’re a damn booker in wrestling, you should know the bloody rules!
JT: I’m sure you will find this surprising and disappointing, but it appears that the industry of professional wrestling is run mostly by idiots.
S: WHAAAAAAA?! NEVER!
JT: I know, I know. It’s difficult to process that information. But strap it because there are still more questionable decisions made tonight that we have to get to. How’s about we finish our write up of this submission match?
S: Sure we might as well get this finished with.
JT: So Joe manages to maintain control out of that whole ordeal by hitting his classic big Uranage out of the corner. From there he puts Double J up top and hooks him for the Muscle Buster, and for a second it looks like he’s going to falter because his ankle is clearly hurting, but he still hits it and plants Jarret into the mat. It might as well be academic as Joe gets the Coquina Clutch in, and that’s exactly why out come Wingus & Dingus again to interfere just like last month. With it being 3 on 1 against Joe, the crowd immediately starts chanting for Angle to come and even the odds, but Joe knocks the goons down on his own. However, it leaves him prone to an attack from behind as Jarrett grabs the Ankle and gets the Ankle Lock grapevined. Then, despite fighting all match and clearly establishing that Joe is a Machine who can fight out of anything, Joe fucking taps to Jeff Jarrett’s Ankle Lock. You can bet that I wasn’t happy with this.
S: You’re not the only one who was royally pissed off with the outcome of the finish. Just to get a good discussion point in. I’ve noted down: Joe jobs on three PPV’s in a row, twice by submission to Double J. Jaysus, how the hell did he gun it out and stick around until 2015?
JT: I just don’t even know because I can’t even think of like any major moments he’d have over the next 5 years in TNA. Like, he joined the Beatdown Clan? I think he may have held the X Division Title and did his “Big Guy holding the high flyer title” thing again. But I don’t know man. Like when you job in 3 straight PPVs to 51 year old Kevin Nash (who leaves the company shortly afterwards) and twice to 43 year old Jeff Jarrett, who is being set up for a feud with 41 year old Kurt Angle. On top of that, you have Rob Van Dam & Jeff Hardy coming in over the course of the year who are clearly being pushed into the main event slot that Joe was occupying in years prior. I’m sure Joe was just being loyal and optimistic and though I value those qualities, I just feel like it wasn’t worthwhile in the long run. Like imagine him in the Generico/Steen era ROH fighting them and the Briscoes and the American Wolves and rising stars like Kyle O’Reilly & Adam Cole?
S: He teamed with Magnus, won the tag belts with him and then they fended over the TV Title in 2012, there’s that too also, OH MY GOD YES! Could you have imagined the amazing things we could’ve gotten with a returning hero Samoa Joe coming back to ROH in 2012 to battle Kevin Steen and S.C.U.M. for the ROH Title? Would’ve done wonders for ROH at that time.
JT: He teamed with Magnus, won the tag belts with him and then they fended over the TV Title in 2012, there’s that too also, OH MY GOD YES! Could you have imagined the amazing things we could’ve gotten with a returning hero Samoa Joe coming back to ROH in 2012 to battle Kevin Steen and S.C.U.M. for the ROH Title? Would’ve done wonders for ROH at that time.
S: The amazing Main Event Mafia 2.0 stable which had himself, Angle, Sting, MAGNUS and RAMPAGE JACKSON.
JT: Yeah let’s just ignore that. It’s better that way. So uhhh, thought on the actual match as a whole?
S: Slightly better than the last match, isn’t saying much, these numpty refs don’t even know the fucking rules, Joe taps out, he is dead in the water like The Pope. Spoilers, we’re gonna get a match with them on PPV soon.
JT: Between Joe & Pope? Man the rich just get richer. Two guys who could really use wins facing off, I don’t get the feeling anyone will benefit from that.
S: And to give a little hint, there’s a man who we’re all familiar with these days in the corner of one man. That’s all I’ll say.
JT: Interesting. Can’t wait to find out who you’re referring to, for better or for worse. Suppose I should give my thoughts on the match, huh? I didn’t think this was a very good match. I found it to just be slow and the crowd never got behind it or really bought into the submissions. Joe’s selling of the ankle will elevate it just above last month’s match, but this one is also hurt by the existence of last month’s match because it felt like it rehashed the same sort of moments. I mean, Jeff winning by submission after a Gunner & Murphy distraction as Joe got the Coquina Clutch in two months in a row? Really? You couldn’t think of anything new? On top of that, while I think Jeff’s MMA Gimmick is funny, I think it kills Joe’s toughness to tap out to dorky, not MMA fighter Double J here. Like, Kurt Angle is an actual serious legendary mat wrestler, and I can’t even remember if he ever tapped Joe out. Jarrett’s gimmick is clearly being played for yucks, you don’t need to make him look strong with a submission win, nobody is going to seriously buy into the idea that Jarrett might tap out Angle, because we know that’s what this is all for.
S: Yeah it’s ridiculous that Joe is jobbing out to a clear tongue in cheek parodied submission expert and tapping out like a total bitch. He’s been punked out three months in a row. All in increasingly frustrating fashion.
JT: Getting 3 on 1’d by two former World Champions and a World Title contender? Acceptable but unfortunate. Getting 3 on 1’d and choked out with a weapon? More annoying but hey, it should lead somewhere. Having another 3 on 1 where he taps out clean? GTFO already, cmon man. This shit is just annoying. Shall we just wash our hands of this for now and move on?
S: Yeah let’s just move on to the main event.
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This Ref’s an Asshole
JT: 8 matches down, all that’s left now is our main event!! It’s Jeff Hardy, putting the TNA World Heavyweight Championship on the line against Mr. Mayor himself again, Matt Morgan. But this time, this time the deck is stacked against the Antichrist of Professional Wrestling! Not only was this contest changed to No DQ the day of the show by tonight’s referee but that referee is Misteerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ANNNDDDEERRRRSOOONNN. ANDERSON!! That’s right, he’s back from concussion hell, and he’s the one who has all the power to count 1-2-3 and take away the title from the man who gave him that concussion in the first place!
S: Surely this is the night where The Antichrist will succumb to the wrath of The DNA of TNA.
JT: I mean, the odds are stacked in the favor of Matt Morgan for once after months of Immortal having the advantage. Before we get into how this came, I just gotta ask what you think of the idea of having a face guest referee with a face challenger and a heel defending champion? Like how do you feel about this kind of set up, do you think it works and makes for an interesting story?
S: It’s not what we’re conditioned to see, a face special guest referee who’s sole goal is to probably screw over the heel, it’s very ass backwards but it kind of makes the rematch a little bit more interesting than last month’s.
JT: I’ll agree that it adds at least a bit of intrigue. I just think having a face guest ref is such a difficult thing to get right. Like, on one hand straight up screwing the heel just makes you more sympathetic to the heel and the face’s win feels less earned. Then again, if the face is being all nice to the heel, then wtf dude? What are you doing? You’re here to make sure this asshole doesn’t get away with his shit, why are you acting like just some normal ref? Like you have to walk that line of being antagonistic to the heel but not overly aggressive and it’s just tough. Can you think of an example where this sort of things has worked? Because I feel all the best guest referee stuff comes with face against face or heel against heel personally.
S: The only real face special guest refs who’ve worked in my opinion would be Michaels every time he was a special ref, especially for End of an Era and Steve Austin at Mania 23 for Battle of the Billionaires, they start off impartial and then a heel makes them lose their cool.
JT: Those definitely are good examples. And just for reference, I think the first face/face one that comes to mind is Batista vs Michaels with Jericho as Guest Ref back in 2008, and heel/heel is easily Davey Boy/HHH with The Rock. Great stuff. Oh, and shoutout to Kevin Owens vs AJ Styles with Shane as Guest Ref, that was also great. I think the key to this all is have a referee whose standing isn’t obvious or who has chaotic behavior.
S: Exactly, it’s better to have a ref whose intentions are impartiality rather than trying to fuck over the heel.
JT: Or at least a ref who hates both guys or feels like they’re going to fuck someone over, but you can’t figure out who just yet.
S: Exactly, it works better when there’s a ref stuck in the middle or one who’s biased towards the heels.
JT: Alright so we’ve drawn the line of acceptability for our referees, shall I tell the people how we got to this situation?
S: Yes we shall, let’s take this review on the closing stretch.
JT: So how did this all come to be? Well at Turning Point as we saw, Jackson James “messed up” and was called out for it, so they had to book a rematch after such obvious shenanigans. And since James couldn’t be trusted to do his job, they decided to make it a special guest ref who will make sure things go right. And since Immortal runs the show in TNA right now, they naturally tried to stack the deck against Morgan. So what’s the plan, well it’s to get none other than the Dirtiest Player in the Game to do their dirty bidding. Of course, in the interest of fairness they said Matt can pick his own ref, as long as he beat Ric in a No DQ match on Impact. Now, hold the fuck up. Whose genius plan was it to put huge meathead Matt Morgan againsr 61 year old Ric Flair?!?
S: Bischoff, Hogan and Russo you’ve done it again!
JT: So unsurprisingly, Flair bladed and lost. Fortune then came out and beat down on Morgan, and then Jeff Hardy came out with a chair, ready to concuss Mr Mayor and put him on the shelf. Of course, that’s when Anderson returned with a pipe and scared them off before saying he’ll make sure the bigger man wins on Sunday. And then right before this match, we got an interview with Kenny. He is asked if he’ll call it down the middle and before he can answer, Morgan comes to him asking for this match to be No DQ, because we all already know Immortal would try to interfere. Anderson tells him he’ll call it right down the middle…..like an asshole would, and boom No DQ Match. So we’ve been critical of the main event booking before, but I gotta say that aside from awkwardness of the heel having the odds against, this is a logical and good build.
S: Yeah honestly this was a pretty damn good build, Morgan was screwed last month, he earned his rematch, Anderson returns to save Morgan when Morgan had his back. Anderson is made referee, cuts a good wee promo and then we’re getting No DQ. Nice. If only we didn’t have so many stipulation matches beforehand, this would be more impactful.
JT: Yeah if everyone else hadn’t around gone through tables and used chairs and bleed and fought all around Universal, this would be more exciting. And just like that! We’re ready to get into this match! Anderson comes out in his refereeing track pants, Morgan comes out, Jeff comes out. Jeff by the way has got black & purple arm bands, black tank top, black pants with a neon yellow belt and black & white striped face paint. So that’s about all we have to talk abo——PSYCH!! HOLY SHIT THAT FUCKING PURPLE TNA TITLE BELT!! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT, WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS THAT?!?
S: Ladies and gentleman. It’s time we talk about THE TNA IMMORTAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, BROTHER! JAMES! Your honest thoughts on this belt?
JT: Now, let me say this. I’m kinda like that one guy in a busy suit from Spongebob Squarepants Season 2 Episode 25 “Patty Hype” aka Pretty Patties who goes “Hey is that one purple? PURPLE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!!”. I like purple, it’s my favorite color. But Jeez Louis, don’t put it on a title belt. Jeff Hardy, my guy, this is one of the ugliest title belts of the modern era. I’d say all time, but there are a lot of really old ugly belt. This thing though? God damn is it ugly. It’s got the weird big lipped Jeff on the front and just like, the weirdest shape ever. WHY IS IT SO EDGY, LITERALLY?!?
S: I can imagine that thing was an absolute bitch to carry on the shoulder because of those edges and they’re probably digging into your neck. The belt, what can I say about it that you haven’t already? First of all, that previous TNA Championship was probably in need of a new design considering the first design was looking a little bit worn and torn by Turning Point time, this one. Boy, it’s very fucking bold to say the least, do I hate it? Not really. Is it an ugly design for your TOP CHAMPIONSHIP? Yes but it’s also a very Jeff Hardy looking belt, like this is what his custom belt would be if he never won the big one. I don’t hate the belt, it’s not what your top title should be but I think I like it for ironic reasons. It’s just one of those rare moments in wrestling where the belt was around for about five months and disappeared forever.
JT: It didn’t just disappear, TNA effectively said “Okay that’s gone, and we’ll NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN”.
S: Fucking hell, they were embarrassed by that belt weren’t they. It did go away… UNTIL JEFF HARDY HAD HIS BLACK STRAPPED NOIR VERSION IN 2012! Do you know about this one?!
JT: I think so?? Like, I’m pretty sure I know about it’s existence but also I have no clue about the context of that existence, like was it made by Jeff to sell, did TNA try to push it as a piece of merch?
S: I don’t think TNA used it as merch but when Jeff beat Aries at Bound for Glory 2012 and entered his feud with him, he did have use his black strapped version of the Immortal Title.
There he is there now, actually looking pretty fucking cool if I’m being honest with ya.
JT: Wait, so like did he use it as a belt again proper? Surely not, because I know when (spoilers) Bully Ray won the Title he won the “regular” TNA Title. But also, I’ll agree with you that the title looks cooler black. Plus, Jeff’s aesthetic with the black suit and dark face paint but bright pink tie and blue accents on his face paint is pretty solid. Jeff’s always had one thing throughout his career: Aesthetic.
S: He sure has had great aesthetic throughout his career. He did use the belt as THE TNA Championship for a brief spell.
JT: Well shit. That’s not ideal. And neither is him using it now. But let’s hope that Triple M (Mayor, Matt Morgan) alongside Ken Skellington can put an end to the Hardy reign of terror. Shall we get into this match?
S: Let’s fucking do it. Time to wrap this show up.
JT: Bell rings, Morgan backs Jeff into the corner and opens up with punches, then big repeated back elbows, to again a kinda quiet crowd. Oh but I will at least say this for the Impact Zone: they’re booing the heel. At the very least, they’re behind Morgan and booing Jeff, which is a nice change of pace considering how Jeff got a pretty warm reception last month despite his big heel turn. So Morgan chokes Jeff on the top rope, and Seán I believe you’ve already got something to yell about here?
S: Oh you bet I’ve a bone to pick here, I enjoyed this show but I’ve got another edition of Seán’s Bone Picking for ya. So after Mr. Mayor is done choking Jeffrey Nero Hardy on the top rope. Tazz, bless him, wonders why Mr. Anderson doesn’t use his five count. Because it’s No DQ! AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES?!
JT: Fucking hell, I know that this was a last second addition but cmon man!! Additionally, even if there were DQs, you think he’s going to give Jeff Hardy and chance to keep his title on something as cheap as a DQ?!? Even if he’s not trying to screw Jeff out of the belt, Ken’s a lax guy, he wouldn’t want either guy winning that title off a DQ or a Countout.
S: The only non finish rule which makes sense in this match is a count out because there’s certain No DQ matches which have allowed count outs, take AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura from Backlash 2018 as an example.
JT: Let’s not take that thank you. I don’t want to hear hide nor hair of that feud. We’ve got real wrestling to talk about here, serious wrestling. So Morgan jumps across Jeff over the top then follows with an Undertaker style Guillotine Leg Drop. After that though, Jeff manages to ground him and lock in a No DQ Match special: a chin lock. Fortunately Morgan fires up, absorbing right hands from Jeff that do nothing, but Jeff gets a kick that works, and then goes for Whisper in the Wind only for Mr Mayor to move. Morgan is just pummeling Jeff on offense, topped off with a Side Slam then a Discus Clothesline, 1–2–Kickout. We’re getting regular counts by Anderson rather than fast counts, he’s gonna hold his tongue and be professional about this. Jeff goes for a Crossbody, Morgan catches him and hits a Spinout Slam. Suddenly, Twist of Hate out of nowhere!! 1—2—Kickout!! Jeff hits the ropes, Carbon Footprint!! Morgan tweaks the leg coming down off it, slowing him as he goes into the cover, 1—2—-Hardy’s foot gets the ropes!! Morgan goes for the Hellavator, Jeff slips behind, Twist of Hate!! 1—-2—Kickout!! Jeff pops his shirt off, goes off the top with the Swanton Bomb, but Morgan got the knees up!! Morgan clearly hurt his already hurt knee with that defense, but he had to do it to avoid the Swanton. The crowd is behind Morgan, he’s come so close already and he should be one big move away from winning it, but Jeff goes to bail on the title defense. As you just mentioned I guess it’s literally only only a No DQ match (aka fuck off) but Ken wasn’t gonna stops at 9 and meets Jeff at the top of the ramp. They argue, Jeff shoves Anderson, and Kenny opens fire on Jeff with right hands. He’s not holding back anymore, he’s going to defend himself and make sure this match has a winner. He rolls Jeff in, Morgan rolls him up, 1——2—Kickout!! I know we’re coming towards the end here and I don’t want to sidetrack too much, but funny to see a big man like Morgan do a roll up huh?
S: It really is, the big dominant monster face going for the cheeky win as if he’s a babyface in peril does crack me up now that I think of it.
JT: Someone needs to utilize that for comedy. Like, you could get a good gimmick going by giving someone like Otis a small package as a finisher. Just have him win with it every week as a goof and play off his size, I think it’d be good for a laugh.
S: Honestly, I’d have no objections at all to that, a scaredy cat big man who only wins with basic roll ups and sneaky wins would be a crease.
JT: If they could make Regal using the Brass Knuckles a weekly thing, they could do that. But anyways, let’s finish off this match and by proxy this show, shall we?
S: Yes let’s, feels like we’ve been at this for a week. 😉
JT: So after the nearfall, Morgan rushes to his feet and picks Jeff up, but Morgan’s knee buckles, and Jeff is able to land a kick then the Twist of Hate again!! He covers: 1—————————————2———————2.75——2.99——2.9999999————Morgan kicks out!! Kenny has been playing no (obvious) favorites so far but he’s had about enough of Jeff’s shit and gives him what-for right there. Jeff’s clearly not happy to have the shoe on the other foot for once, so he Jeff goes to the floor and gets a chair, using it to nail the leg of The Blueprint. He goes for the Twist of Hate again, but Morgan pushes him off and right into the Asshole!! Mr. Anderson, you know, because he calls himself an Asshole? Right yeah, so umm Ken gets knocked to the floor, and Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint again but there’s no ref!! So now it’s time to try and get the screw job on as Easy E comes out with Jackson James, sending him into the ring to be ref, but not before sending Anderson into the post first. Eric struggles to delay him without being overly obvious, pulling James out right before he can get in with Morgan covering, before finally letting him in as Jeff barely kicks out at 2. Bischoff leaves, Morgan grabs the Chair and motions for a Chokeslam on it, but Jeff hits a Low Blow, and the Twist of Hate!! 1——2——3!!! Hardy retains that ugly fucking belt!!
S: God dammit. That no good rotter has retained the damn ugly belt, he might as well have urinated on Mr. Mayor. To quote one horny bollocks, Jim Ross.
JT: If you don’t mind, all start with my thoughts on this match. Man, just another not good main event out of Morgan & Hardy. Y’know I kinda figured having Ken there would at least add a level of intrigue and having the No DQ stip could add some extra fun spots, but neither delivered. I get why they had Ken did what he did, it’s kinda a no win situation anyway, but he felt like a non-factor for 95% of the time he was there. Also, they didn’t use the No DQ stipulation like at all until the very end. Which again, kind of a no win situation since they’ve already done No DQ gimmicky stuff already but they could’ve used it here. I mean the principle behind making it a No DQ match was Morgan was convinced Immortal would run in away, so at least he’d be allowed to defend himself it was No DQ. They should’ve just made this super chaotic. Have Abyss and Fortune and Jarrett come out. Let the Guns and Joe and even Kurt Angle and like random TNA locker room members come out. Just make it an all out brawl at the end where the good guys, led by Morgan & Anderson, fight off Immortal. Then in the confusion, you can have Eric do what he did anyway and then Jeff can use the Chair and hit the ToH and win. Boom, way more exciting, and way more heat.
S: Yeah 100% agree with you there. What’s wrong with TNA here at this point in time is that they’ve peak WCW syndrome where the undercards and midcards are always absolutely banging and then when you get to the last few matches, it’s a swift decline. This was the case here, an extremely underwhelming main event, Mr. Mayor looks like a chump here, I know he took a few Twist of Hates but still, he had the odds in his favour and jobbed like a big looder (to quote Kilnaskully). It’s two straight months of nothing main events and it’s a shame because Jeff as a heel isn’t exactly all that bad, it’s fucking weird to see but the matches are most certainly letting him down.
JT: I feel bad for Jeff in a way because he’s struggling as a result of poor decisions and unfortunate accidents. Whoever gave the okay to hit Anderson with a Chair in the back of the head is a total moron, because imo it fucked the whole run, and honestly other parts of the show too. Anderson goes down so they have to run Morgan out, meaning he has to abruptly kick him out of Fortune for the main event. First, this fucks up Fortune, because now they’ve got 2 people leaving in a month. This either means Doug is less of a big deal because he’s not the first guy to leave the group anymore, and/or it means he had to plug a hole meant for Morgan instead of him. Matt then also has to lose to Jeff to build Jeff as a heel which not only hurts Morgan but also doesn’t help Jeff because Matt’s not an established face yet. Then once Anderson is ready to come back, Jeff is already stumbling out of the blocks because whatever heat he could’ve got out of beating a hot face like Ken wasn’t there. So Ken is fine but Jeff is worse off, Morgan is worse off, and hell, RVD might’ve been set to take this second feud with Jeff but spoilers, they go a different direction next month, and RVD is still not getting Jeff. Just so much messed up because somebody green light something that has been proven to be dangerous years ago. Fuck sake, this is what bad management is like. It shouldn’t have left the writer’s room let alone actually happened.
S: Yeah now that you say it, it’s clear as fucking day, it’s such a stupid spot to book in the first place, like why not just have him hit him with like a kendo stick across the back? It’s fucked over Jeff big time in the long run, can’t help but feel bad for him. Complete and total mismanagement from TNA.
JT: Seriously, just avoidably stuff. I mean even if they planned to write off Anderson even for a little bit in the first place, nobody should’ve thought “a chair to the face should be fine” in a Post Benoit Era. So sadly, back to back shows end on a downer, and in kayfabe, 3 PPVs in a row end sadly for the fans.
S: I think with Bound for Glory, you could excuse that ending on a downer because they shot a real interesting angle but the last two shows have ended on a wet fucking fart.
JT: Yeah it’s one thing to have an “Ohhh no, the baddies won?!?” twist on one show, but when the baddie wins another two times in a row in sad fashion with even the potential next challenger getting busted open by ERIC BISCHOFF then you’re gonna start losing points big time.
S: And losing points they did, at least in their main event scene anyways.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
The Wrap Up
S: James, TNA’s use of gimmick matches. James, this match is a nine match card…..SEVEN GIMMICK MATCHES ON A NINE MATCH CARD!
JT: Folks, I know it seems like we like to complain for the sake of complaining. I’m mean, we’re young people, that’s what young people do. But I promise you, if you watch this show, you will feel the weight of the gimmicks. We’re not talking shit for the point of talking shit, this was an active detriment. It’s one thing to add a few gimmick matches on your show to spice it up, but this was overboard.
S: And it’s been overboard since about 2007. James! Across 48 pay per views. I’ve done mega research of TNA cards from 2007-2010. Would you like to know the amount of gimmick matches that were on pay per view from 2007-2010?
JT: I certainly do!!
S: So here we go. By what I would define as gimmick matches, this does include Lockdown shows too by the way where every match is in a cage. In 2007, there were a whopping 41 gimmick matches on PPV!
In 2008, we’re coming down a bit here with 38 across the year!
In 2009, coming down by another three gimmick matches with a svelte 36!
In 2010, with the second highest total across four years, we have a number of 39!
So from 2007-2010, our total final number of gimmick matches that are defined in the Book of Young Seán, our final number is…..
154!!!!
JT: Damn man. That comes out to about 3 per show per month for the last 4 years. I mean honestly that doesn’t sound too bad, and Lockdown bring up the average but man, it still feels like a lot on paper.
S: It’s nothing short of ludicrous but even having a pay per view of all cage matches, and some of those cage matches having added gimmicks slapped on to them, they’re lucky I didn’t count more on because of the double gimmicks.
JT: Jesus I didn’t even clock that. Yeah, you’ve probably got some double if not triple dipping with some matches. And of course, adding up pure numbers doesn’t display how many of those matches were dumb, like the Electrified Steel Cage or the Last Rites match or the Reverse Battle Royal or any of the King of the Mountain Matches.
S: They are lucky I took it easy with them with their gimmick squared or gimmick cubed matches. So without further ado. James, I’ve got three questions for you. Your thoughts on the show? Your match of the night and your MVP, please?
JT: I’ve got real mixed feelings on this show man. Through the first 5 matches, I’d say the ratio of good (or at least not bad) stuff to bad stuff was 4 to 1, but by the end it was 5 to 4. It wasn’t an exceptional PPV in the first half but it was a good show and it felt like it just need one or two more big matches to really make it high quality and it never came to that. Look at the card on paper, I was so much more excited for this compared to Turning Point and sadly it landed at the same sort of mediocre level. As for my MOTN, I think it’s easily the Full Metal Mayhem match, just for how innovative and exciting it was. And you can bet off that you know who my MVP is, which is none other than the Motor City Machine Guns again. I mean this is their 3rd MOTN and 2nd MVP in 3 shows, what can I really say that I haven’t said already? They just rule and do good shit every time. What about you my friend?
S: I think I’ve gotta say the same as you to be honest. When I got to the last three matches, I had mostly positive feelings on this show but when we got to the last three matches. Sweet Jesus, they really dragged this show down, it’s the exact same final three matches as Turning Point, in the exact same order, with the exact same people going over, all with a dirty non clean finish. Like for fuck’s sake, TNA. It’s just rinse repeat with those last three matches. So along with those cons, what I didn’t like was Just Jay Lethal looking like a moron and that X-Division Title match. The pros, Ink Inc. vs Beer Money, a fun, hot opener. Tara vs Mickie, an entertaining, wacky brawl. Shark Boy in general, he should be featured more, he’s brilliant. Doug vs AJ. Rhino vs Van Dam was in the middle but slightly more on the positive side and of course Full Metal Mayhem between MCMG and GenMe, match of the night without a doubt. These two lads absolutely killed it and proved that they are the single best thing this company had to offer at this time. MVP or MVP’s, it’s The Guns, who else can you say really? We may sound boring but they just run away with it every time, GenMe are usually a close second for me, Doug Williams deserves a mention too but Sabin and Shelley are my MVP’s once again. They’re simply the best. Better than all the rest.
JT: Yeah like we may sound like broken records, but this era of TNA is a broken record. The main event and the midcard are a mess, but for the Tag Division they’ve just handed the reins over to the Guns to just perform for 15-20 minutes, and every card is just better off that way. No wonder they’re so over, not only are they awesome but they come on and you know exactly what you’re getting for once.
S: Exactly, with Sabin and Shelley, you’re guaranteed a great match with fast paced, exciting action, tandem tag team offence and innovation. With that, I think this is a good place to say that we are officially half way home with this story arc!
JT: Yeah look at that!! BFG, Turning Point & Final Resolution down!! Genesis, Against All Odds & Victory Road left to go!!
S: Three down, three to go! Next time on The JT and Seány Mc Power Hour, we return to the Impact Zone for TNA’s first pay per view of 2011, Genesis! Featuring The Motor City Machine Guns vs Beer Money! Brother Ray vs Brother Devon?! The arrival of THE ANGELIC DIABLO! Kurt Angle vs Jeff Jarrett! Who will face Jeff Hardy for the TNA Heavyweight Championship? Will it be Matt Morgan or Mr. Anderson? Wait around because you will not want to miss this, ain’t that right, JT?
JT: That’s right!! We’ll be stepping right into 2011, a huge year for professional wrestling as a whole, and we’ll have to see whether TNA fans had reasons to be excited or concerned for the year to come. But that’s next time. Right now, this is a farewell from me James!!
S: And a smell ya later from me, Seán!
JT: And that’s it for this episode of the JT & Seány McPower Hour, so until next time, keep rolling down the line!!
The JT & Seány Mc Power Hour 