
James: Last time on the Power Hour: The Championship reign of the Antichrist came to an end, as Mr Anderson shocked the world and won the TNA World Championship after valiantly fighting the odds. And while it was great to see Anderson reach the top of the mountain like he always had the potential to do, it came with a caveat. That caveat being, of course, that this happened in 2011. And the further we progress into 2011 TNA, the closer we get to the darkest and saddest moments in the history of a legend. So rather than plunge further into the abyss, let’s do something with a little holiday cheer today!!
Seán: That’s right folks, we’re going back into the past of 2008 where Jeff Hardy’s lifelong odyssey of winning the big one could be fulfilled on WWE’s final PPV of 2008! Get the glasses of egg nog, prepare your turkey and stuffing sandwiches and pop on Die Hard in the background because your buddies, James T and Seány Mc are about to dive into Armageddon 2008!
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Happy Days are here again
JT: Ho ho ho and welcome everyone, welcome back to a special seasonal edition of the Power Hour! Here at Power Hour Inc. we had a busy fall, to the point where it was difficult to find time to watch and review wrestling, but fear no more! Tis the season where we have plenty of time now to share some holiday joy with all y’all! After all, we only got to this episode due to a strange set of circumstances, isn’t that right Seán?
S: Yeah so basically what the long and short of how we’re suddenly reviewing this was due to Impact Plus basically being down for about maybe three weeks or a month so we were left with nothing to watch for our next review. We decided on doing Armageddon as it’s a nice show with a lovely pivotal moment in it. We had it watched in advance but by the time we had finished it, Impact Plus was up and running again. So we had this one ready to review but struggled finding a spot to fit it in. We decided on watching Genesis and got that done recently. Check out the review please. So here we are, ready to run this bad boy down!
JT: Oh god yeah, these commentary teams are just completely topsy turvy, aren’t they? You look at Raw and Smackdown, it’s just the announce teams from our first season with the colour commentators swapped over. Jim Ross is with Tazz on SmackDown and King is with Cole on Raw, very strange. Grisham and Striker are almost the new kids on the block although they’ve both been employed for a good few years at this point. They do feel like a natural pairing in my opinion.
S: Yeah Todd and Matt works, they’re too new guys with good chemistry together, manning the table for what this point has become a show, for the most part, about new up-incoming WWE superstars like Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne and Jack Swagger. However the other two teams, it’s a little less natural. Cole & King as double faces on commentary wasn’t exactly an immediate fit, but it’d develop as time goes on. But it’s JR & Tazz that’s just a sour pairing, not due to either guy or any lack of chemistry, but because of the plans behind the scenes. Do you happen to know how this commentary duo came together?
S: I know JR was drafted to SmackDown without him knowing (lol wwe hates jr boom boom), by any chance did it stem from Mick Foley not being bothered with commentary?
JT: Yeah pretty much. This team was less brought together with high hopes as they were jammed together. JR got drafted live on TV to SD, meaning we got to see JR in real time realize he wasn’t the lead guy anymore, and then when Mick walked out of the company in 2008 (because he thought Vince was treating him like shit, he thought how Vince talked to the commentators was demeaning and disrespectful) they forced Tazz to join JR while Stryker joined ECW. This pairing wasn’t bad, but it was hardly the most memorable, as Tazz would be our of the company by May to join TNA, and JR’s time as a WWE commentary would be coming into it’s final act.
S: And I’m pretty sure before Tazz is gone, Grisham is paired with JR. Which I do remember being a good pairing.
JT: Yeah it wasn’t bad, I’m not a particularly huge fan of Grisham but it was fine. But sadly by October of 2009, JR would suffer a Bell’s Palsy attack, which would pretty much take him off commentary full time, really for the rest of his career. I mean even now in AEW he’s not full time, though he does a lot more commentary than he has in years.
S: Wait? So that would’ve been Jim’s THIRD Bell’s Palsy attack?
JT: Yeah his third, poor guy. He got a week off commentary for his anniversary, then the next week he’d suffer the attack, announce he wouldn’t commentate over the upcoming Bragging Rights PPV, and he wouldn’t be back until Old School Raw in 2010 to be part of the whole Cole/King WrestleMania angle. Joy that that was.
S: Also gave us JR being in a country whipping match, rapping and getting jiggy with it. Oh what a joy.
JT: But that’s much later down the line, and we won’t have to cover that. Today, we’re in my home state!! Tonight’s PPV emanates from Buffalo, New York. Our big opening package paints the picture of Armageddon, “Sides will be chosen, an epic war between the kings of the earth, at the end of the world, where warriors stand at the front line ready to fight for glory, for a dream, for what is theirs, to wage war till the bitter end for good, and when it’s all over, will anything remain?” Well I’ll tell you what will remain, that awesome apocalypse set!! Holy smokes what a set!!
S: Yeah! This set was fucking awesome looking, if my knowledge serves me right, I believe this is probably the last year of the custom PPV sets until we get the bog standard every other televised show but Mania set from 2009.
JT: Yeah, back to what I saying earlier about the company’s state of transition, 2008-2009 is last hooray for the big custom sets. You have some cooler custom sets like Cyber Sunday 08, Royal Rumble 2009’s Road to WrestleMania set, the original TLC hanging chairs setup, but more of less things like tonight’s set gets phased out in favor of just colored stages.
S: And that same short concrete entrance ramp which seemed like it was there for years.
JT: Even in time that felt like more than what WWE had. I get why they don’t do these sort of big sets anymore, since it’s much less expensive to do this and it’s easier for their branding, but it does take away the feeling of grandeur that they had built up.
S: Agreed. Shall I run down some of them sweet facts and figures???
JT: I’d love that! Let’s do it to it!!
S: Armageddon 2008! Coming to us live from the HSBC Arena in Buffalo New York on the 14th December 2008 with an attendance of 12,500. 11,000 of which paid with the rest going for free. This show generated a live gate of $670,000 with an average ticket price of $53.60. Theme song is ‘Chinese Democracy’ by Guns N’ Roses but you wouldn’t know that because it’s dubbed on the Network. Guess I’ll watch the DVD version next time. The show generated a total PPV revenue of $3.03 million, the second lowest of the year as well as it’s PPV buys which raked in a total of 193,000 buys. The lowest drawing show of the year was October’s Cyber Sunday which had 153,000 buys and a revenue of $2.98 million.
JT: Cyber Sunday not drawing makes sense. I mean, theoretically speaking, you don’t know what you’re going to get. But I’m kinda surprised this one was the second worst of the year. I mean, Cena’s in a Title match, and the main event is Jeff/HHH/Edge. I would’ve figured something else would’ve done worse. Oh well, so it goes.
S: I think that’s just how the buys were for WWE at this time, it’s starting to transition into proper PG stuff so there are a lot of fans starting to fade away from watching the product.
JT: That would make a lot of sense. So, I’m looking at my notes, and I think we’ve covered everything we need to. You have anything else? Otherwise, we can get to our first match of the night!
S: Yes we shall.
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Mattitude vs Vladitude
S: Bah gawd! Would ya look at who is kicking off the show!
JT: I’ve got only two words for ya! Matt Freaking Hardy!!
S: Well I’ve got a few words for ya! It’s Kozlov time!
JT: Yeah we’ve got an odd one to start this show off. It’s the reigning, but not defending in this match, WWECW Champion Matt Hardy facing off against SmackDown’s unbeaten Moscow Mauler. There’s a lot to get into here, so I’ll just ask you. Who would you rather start off talking about Matt or Vlad?
S: I think I’ll flip a coin here using my old Amazon Alexa. Heads for Matt and Tails for Vlad. Let’s see what she says… Alexa says Tails so let’s talk some VLAD.
JT: Ahh Vladimir Kozlov, a real relic of PG Era WWE. Who could forget his initial few weeks of interviews where he’d say that he loves “Double Double E” and then disappeared for over a year to work in developmental? Anyways, he’d return to TV in early 2008, squashing a parade of local talent and enhancement talent with his sambo prowess, as well as his overwhelming strength and aggressiveness. At the time we catch up to him he is, like I said, unpinned! He has been on the losing ends of some matches, such as the Survivor Series WWE Title Triple Threat, but he still has yet to be pinned, including a Pinfall victory over Jeff Hardy in October, and a DQ win over the Undertaker. Seán, were you watching WWE at this time and if so, what did you think of Mad Vlad?
S: He is certainly a pet project of WWE in this period, a big hoss foreigner who could be pushed into that monster heel main eventer role. He’s a failed project of the PG Era, that’s for sure. He goes in among the likes of Mason Ryan, Big Zeke, Tensai, Alex Riley, Big Cass and others. I really don’t like his look, the white trunks and Johnny Unitas haircut just doesn’t strike me as a killer heel in my opinion.
JT: Yeah I get he was supposed to be very plain, because he’s a monster who doesn’t think about things or care about aesthetics, but as a kid who started watching in 2009 at the very end of his push, I couldn’t take his seriously since he came out in tighty whities. Like just make his tights red or black and it’s already a little better. But aside from gear, I think his look held him back some too. He manages to meet in the middle, in a bad way. He’s not tall enough to match the tallest guys like Kane, Big Show, Undertaker, hell even Boogeyman or JBL. Also, he’s not big enough in other places of make up for his lack of height. He’s not muscular enough to pull off the overly jacked like Chris Masters (who is also probably taller than him) but he also doesn’t have the bulk that Big Daddy V or even Umaga. He’s just in the middle of a bad time period for his look. I mean Rusev has a similar size to him, but he also has the beard, long hair and chest hair to stand out while also in an era with smaller guys. Sadly, he just doesn’t have any of the big qualities necessary, and it makes me wonder why they pushed him as hard as he did. I mean, I don’t think he has an obvious quality that makes you go “I can see why they pushed him” like other failed pushes like the guys you mentioned. He just gives me major “Bam Neely” or even Luke Gallows/Festus as far as look goes. As in clearly big, and clearly tough, but not big enough or different enough to really stand out from the biggest, baddest guys.
S: That’s another problem I had with him, he was just very ordinary looking really, his physique wasn’t bad but it just wasn’t enough to make me believe that he was a tough guy, I also saw right through his wrestling ability, yes eight year old biggest mark in Ireland, Seán Patrick McLoughlin saw that this guy was shite in ring.
JT: Well we’ll get to talk about his in ring skills over the course of this match, how about we move on to one of our double jeopardy candidates, a man making an appearance tonight and in TNA, Matt Hardy!
S: And boy is he over! Makes me so happy to see him like this, 2008 really was a great year for Matt. Comes back at Mania to take out MVP in an epic moment, wins the US belt, loses it later and then wins the ECW belt.
JT: Yeah he’s really done well from himself. He won the US Belt to finally cap off and win his long running feud with MVP, and not only did he win the ECW Title to become the face of the brand, but he beat the World’s Strongest Man to win it!! He’s on a real roll, but he’s gotten himself into a rough spot with this one. Shall I cover how this match has come up?
S: Inform the masses, James.
JT: So after Edge won the WWE Title at Survivor Series (more on that later) his 3 main challengers were put in a Beat the Clock Challenge to earn their shot. Jeff Hardy was first, besting The Brian Kendrick in 12:13. Vlad went 2nd, where Matt Hardy stepped up to fight for his brother’s chance to be Champion. In their match, Matt held off Vlad for the whole 12:13, eliminating Vlad for Title contention. And Kozlov didn’t take that laying down, as he’d attack Matt on ECW afterwards. Of course, Stryker & Grisham explain that Kozlov didn’t sign the necessary paperwork to officially appear on ECW. They can have their mat, but since Kozlov can’t officially take part in ECW action, he can’t fight for the title. Honestly Seán, I’m conflicted on this. Part of me says “that’s a bunch of BS to keep Matt from losing his title while also letting Vlad look strong” but the other half of me says “The rules! Actual logical rules and regulations in wrestling!” What say you?
S: I think it’s a brilliant kayfabe reasoning for this match but also, since like 2007 or so ECW and SmackDown have always seemed to have had this working relationship. The two brands always toured together on European events, the two shows are taped on the same day and of course, they’ve shared talent across their brands.
JT: I mean Vickie Guerrero sent her nephew Chavo to be ECW to become Champion, SD & ECW are like peanut butter and jelly!! So before we get into the show, I’d just want to shoutout Matt’s big purple shirt (because that was the first merch I ever knew he had, since I started watching in January 09) and another shoutout to Matt’s Fed theme!!
S: He can slap a tornado, he can dry up a sea, yeah. He lives for the moment. Great memories of season 1. So shall we get into Mattitude vs, as you coined it, Vladitude?
JT: We can begin, but only after I acknowledge the first wrestling meme of my childhood, which was thinking that Kozlov’s theme, which began with the Croatian “Ja prinjos tebe bol” aka “I brought you pain” was actually the phrase “Ya, bring your stupid ball”. Ahhh the mind of a child, and the dumb things we remember forever for no reason.
S: I actually like the “Ya, bring your stupid ball” line. I can now picture Vlad as a Ed, Edd and Eddy bully now.
JT: I could go for the dark side to Rolf’s light!
S: He just looks like the kind of guy who would try to break Plank.
JT: Now hold on, that’s Rusev’s gimmick!! Okay, let’s just get to the match before we fall too far off course, because wrestling and Ed Edd and Eddy go hand in hand.
S: Enough bluffing from us, here’s the masterpiece you’ve all been waiting for.
JT: The match begins and there’s an immediate USA and Hardy chants. So Vlad starts off by backing Hardy into the corner, slams in the shoulder. He really uses the corner a lot, using it to throw him in then hit a Back Suplex, and using the corner post as a weapon, throwing Matt shoulder first into it. From there, he starts working over the shoulder & arm, giving him Headbutts right to the weakened area. And he really spends a significant amount of time work him over in an arm hold on the mat. Matt tries to fight back, but Kozlov hooks Matt’s arm and hits Headbutts to the chest. Matt wanwants to be the greatest ECW Champion, but if he wants to accomplish that, he’ll have to survive here. And he actually starts to come back, only to get cut off with a DDT, some clobbering strikes and more arm submissions. Matt has just has been fighting from underneath this whole match, he’s had nothing going on, which is big for Kozlov. Really shows that even after coming up short the month before, they’ve still got stock in him. He finally starts to come back as he gets a hot shot on Kozlov, pulling his throat into the top rope, then hits shoulder thrusts to the chest, then he climbs from the apron to come off the top with a Flying Elbow to the head that sends Kozlov to the floor. He leaps off the apron, only for Kozlov to catch him, but then Matt slips behind and shoves him into the post. He throws him on, he goes for the Twist of Fate but it’s counter as Vlad pushes him into the corner. In the corner, Matt with a counter boot, but jumps off the second rope into a palm strike for 2. Kozlov tries to pick him up, Matt gets a Small Package, but it’s only good for 2. Matt tries to press his advantage but gets sent into the ring post, then gets the Battering Ram from Kozlov. He hoists Matt up, slams him down, and 1–2—3, Vlad sends the Champion of ECW packing with relative ease. Sorry for kind of breezing through this, but there is just not much to say!
S: Yeah for WWE’s standards, it’s a truly uneventful opener, isn’t it? Not bad by any means, no stinker like Kozlov vs Ripple H at Survivor Series but just really uneventful, the limb targeting by Kozlov was effective, I guess. His finisher is still shite looking to this day. Yeah…
JT: That’s pretty much my takeaway from this one too. I didn’t think Kozlov seemed like a bad wrestler, just an unimpressive wrestler. Of all the guys to get a big push and totally flop, he’s better than the likes of Khali, or Mason Ryan or Luther Reigns, but he’s got the personality of a broomstick and this made for an unexciting start to the show.
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Championship Midcard Punk
S: And from unexciting to exciting, this brings us to our second match and oh my, what a match this is on paper!
JT: From the Slammy Award winner for Breakout Star of the Year (lol Kozlov) to the match involving some breaking! We’ve got ourselves the finals of a tournament! With 2008 King of the Ring, former Raw GM and current Intercontinental Champion William Regal at ringside, we’ve got CM Punk facing Rey Mysterio with the winner facing Regal for his title!
S: So this final in this eight man tournament featured Kofi Kingston, who beat Kane by DQ in the first round. Rey Mysterio who beat The Miz. John Morrison who beat Finlay. CM Punk and, the man whom he defeated, SNITSKY?! He was still employed at this stage? So in the second round, Rey Rey beat Kofi and Punk beat JoMo, setting up the final two combatants which leads us to tonight!
JT: Again, we have a lot to discuss in this one, but rather than ask you what we do, I say we should just talk about the crazy 2008 William Regal had.
S: Oh boy let’s because old Willy Regal, straight outta Blackpool has been a really busy boy in 2008, hasn’t he James?
JT: He really has. And it really started in late 2007, when he took over the position of General Manager from Jonathan Coachman. As Raw GM, he would throw his weight around and just lap up all the power given to him. He would get himself involved with Triple H, Randy Orton, John Cena, and Ric Flair around WrestleMania season, just top of the card type guys. Though he wouldn’t get a feud with any of them, he did manage to win the 2008 King of the Ring, giving him all the more power. As GM & King, Regal went tyrannical, ruling the roost and even throwing Raw off the air!! But that all can to an abrupt stop when he lost to Mr Kennedy and was “fired”. Of course in reality, this was the storyline way of writing him off for his second drug policy violation. And though that might not seem big, the scoop is that reportedly his role as GM & King was supposed to lead him to becoming World Champion down the line. Think of that, William Regal, World Champion. I tell you what, I wish I could’ve seen that timeline.
S: Oh man, tell me about it. That would’ve honestly been my dream scenario, seeing William Regal as a tyrannical Shakespearean King and ruler of a show, being mad with power and being the World Heavyweight Champion, that just would’ve been the best storyline.
JT: And even if he only held the belt for a month, it would be great for his legacy to have that title in his trophy case. That said, in interviews after the fact, I adore the way Regal has take responsibilities for his action. He always asserts that him not wining the World Title is a result of his own mistakes. He seems at peace with the fact that he is clean, happy and healthy.
S: It would’ve been excellent to see, it’s a shame he didn’t win it and the fact Regal owns up to his mistake speaks volumes about the character of the man. Just a class wrestler and individual.
JT: Absolutely. And just to show how much they believe in his and his character as a tv personality and as a man, after coming back from being “fired”, he got himself a new valet in Layla, and then went on to win a Battle Royal on Raw, followed by the IC Title in Raw live Manchester. After weeks of Santino Marella’s glorious Honky Tonk Meter, Regal swooped in and took his title just like that. And now, he awaits his challengers.
S: Honkameter Arc for season 3 of The Power Hour, of course.
JT: Naturally. So of his opponents, one of them also had a rather interesting year. And let me be clear, it’s not Rey. I mean he feuded with Kane and it was fine, but CM Punk, he was World Heavyweight Champion only a few months ago. And now he’s fighting for the IC Title. He’s had quiet the year hasn’t he?
S: He sure has, he was ECW Champ at the start of the year before dropping it to Ooohhh Chavo. He won MITB at Mania 24 in a belter of a match, might I add. Stayed on ECW before going to Raw and cashing in on Edge for the WHC. Had what was in my opinion, a very underwhelming reign as Champion before losing it without being involved in a match. Silver lining comes up when he teams with his mate, Kofi Kingston to win the World Tag Team Championships and James! Is it the early 90’s again? Because we’ve got ourselves a god damn house show title change!
JT: Oh my goodness!! Just the night before this too!! Man, they did not have a plan for Punk this did they?
S: Yeah so for those who don’t know what we’re referring to, the night before this on a house show in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Punk and Kofi dropped the World Tag Team Championships to JoMo and Da Miz. Why? Because anything can happen on a house show, King!
JT: They really just jerked Punk back and forth in 2008. First his Mr MITB, then he does nothing, then he wins the World Title, and has B List feuds and short title matches. They set him up to feud seemingly with Randy Orton, only to have him vacate his title and not fight Orton until 2011!! Then they team him up with Kofi because, they’re young and fun and former ECW guys, and then they said “Ok never mind, back to singles stuff for both you”. Just odd, odd stuff. But hey, when you have that amazing theme song like Punk does, you can still be popular even if you push is more stop-start than a bad RC Car.
S: Yeah if you want a definition of the constant stop start pushes that happen in WWE so often, Punk from 2007-2009 is a prime example for you.
JT: That said, he’s got a big match tonight against a former World Champion, who himself is hungry to get an IC Title shot and has nice pink attire tonight. How about we get right into this match?
S: Let’s get into it, looking forward to talking about this one!
JT: So though these two would feud big time only 2 years after this, tonight Punk is a clean cut face, displayed by their handshake to start the match. Quick covers, quick movements, Punk cuts off the 619 with an Arm Drag, goes for the GTS but Rey with an Arm Drag of his own. Quick Plancha to the floor by Punk, he sends Rey into the ropes and hits a beautiful Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker to take control. Rey goes for a Headscissor, Punk throws him to the apron, Rey fights back with shoulders but attempted Moonsault is countered as Punk cuts him out from under him. Kicks by Punk to the back, running knee misses as Rey sits up and hits a Moonsault. Still, Rey cannot get momentum fully going for him as a Scoop Slam by Punk cuts him off and almost gets a 3 count. Punk works the arm bar, Rey fights up, gets a Headscissor into an Arm Bar himself. Rey with a springboard Dropkick that sends Punk to the floor, then Rey comes off the top with a Crossbody to the floor. He follows it up by sending Punk back in for a Springboard Seated Senton and a Springboard Crossbody for 1–2—Kickout!! Rey gets on Punk’s shoulder and gets a Victory Roll by but only for 2, as Punk reverses into a pin of his own also for 2! Punk misses the High corner knee, but manages to send Rey into the opposite corner where he hits the knee/bulldog combo. He goes for a Suplex, Rey goes behind, ducks an elbow, catches Punk’s hands trying to grab his leg to take him down then jump back into a pin for 2!! Really unique pinfall attempt by Rey, as Cole would call “The swashbuckling style of Mysterio”!! But he’s not exactly a Pirate now is he?
S: He’s no Paul Burchill or Jean Pierre LaFitte, that’s for sure. He wishes he had that Swashbuckling style, King. I guess he has a point because he swings and flies like the stereotypical swashbuckling pirate, I guess???
JT: Regardless of what Cole’s point is, my point here is that Mysterio at this point is still pretty good. He’s not WCW levels and he’s aged since 2002-03, but he’s still in that last good period of 1st WWE run. He’d slow down much more by 2010-11, and I’d argue his last real great matches of his initial run was with Punk.
S: Yeah his matches with Punk were probably the last true great matches he had in his first run, I do remember him being in some pretty damn good six man tags with The Usos against The Shield but at that point, he was more or less out the door at that point, had slowed way down and definitely needed to reinvent himself.
JT: And boy did he! It’s amazing how well he managed to heal himself up. But that’s much later. So I’ll just finish up the match from our show rather than discuss years in the future. So off the nearfall, Rey goes for the 619 but Punk ducks out of the way and grabs him for the GTS but Punk is reversed into a Rana to put him on the ropes!! Rey dials it up connecting with the 619 but as he follows up for the Splash, he gets nothing but canvas as Punk sits up. But before Punk can even capitalize, Rey grabs him for a Crucifix Pin, 1—2—Kickout!! Rey tries for another quick pin with another Victory Roll, but Punk catches him and turns it into the GTS!! Cover, 1——2——3!! CM Punk may have a cut on his nose, but he busted Rey big time and managed to get the win and become #1 Contender. What did you think of this match as a whole, as well as that hard looking final GTS?
S: Awh man, this match fucking ruled, let’s be frank and honest (lovely coffee brand btw). I remember loving this as a kid and twelve years later, it still holds up. The counters which were made in this match were sublime and gorgeous to watch, especially Rey Rey’s counter to the GTS. The victory roll into that BRUTAL GTS was sick to look at but it was a cool finish. Although it does remind me of when KENTA, as Hideo Itami really hurt Brian Kendrick with it but thankfully, not as bad for Rey here. Massive thumbs up.
JT: I agree fully. This one was fast paced, it had great action, and it took what was initially a quiet crowd and got them on board. You’ve gotta wonder, why put this on second instead of first? Like this was clearly designed as an exciting opening match, so why put on the slowness of Vlad Kozlov first?
S: Yeah it’s really unlike them to be putting on the crowd killer match first rather than the fast paced, exciting match between two fan favourites, isn’t it? I honestly have no idea why WWE would have this on second.
JT: Well at least it’s good when we got it. And I gotta say, I really liked having two faces in the finals of this one. With a Heel as Champion, the match is more unpredictable by having two good guys in there rather than the usual good guy vs bad guy.
S: Agreed, I really liked how it was face vs face two, it did give an air of unpredictability to it rather than if Punk faced someone like Miz or Kane. With that said, should we move onto our next match?
JT: We shall, but just after I give anyone who doesn’t know a little closure! So after winning this match tonight, Punk would in fact go on to defeat Regal for the IC Title, giving him the Triple Crown and pretty much ending Regal’s push. He’d be a main event level guy in WWECW in 2009, but he was mostly there as a mouthpiece to elevate Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov of his Ruthless Roundtable faction. The IC Title reign is the last title reign of Regal’s career, and the IC Title reign would be Punk’s last reign with any title other than a World Title!
S: The man with the funnest of facts, James T, always coming in clutch with the closure. And of course, Punk would lose the IC Title to the man himself, John Brrrrrradshawwww Layfield, Maggle!
JT: That’s losing to a guy he beat 8 months ago for the WHC, but ignore that! But he’d finally get on the right track in 2009.
S: Some might say, and the rest is history.
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I’ll help you out, Maggles
JT: So before we get to our next match, we have some business to get through. And when I say business, I mean business. Not Christmas joy here folks, we gotta talk about the financial state of the county, because Shawn Michaels has been offered a proposition by JBL. And now we have to find out if he’ll take it.
S: Well JBL is not a happy man here tonight, old John B L is left angered due to the old USA being hit hard financially after the international banking crisis which has led the US into the Great Recession. JBL may not be happy but he is a generous man and he has an offer for HBK here tonight.
JT: Okay before we get to what he has to say here tonight, I think we should take a second to appreciate what is very likely the greatest rebranding of an established character ever. I mean the look, the music, the character!! All of it, just perfect!
S: Not gonna lie, I absolutely looooooove the JBL character, from 2004-2006, his year on commentary and this second run. Just a brilliant rebrand and persona which stands the test of time. One of the most effective heels ever.
JT: Yeah it just hit the nail on the head. It nailed the feeling of mid 00s George W. Bush Republicans, with a guy who just fit the bill perfectly, and they just gave him so much to work with. I mean how can you not love the Cowboy Hat, the big dumb theme song with Cow Moos in it, and the Limo with the Horns on it! Honestly, I think we just need more cars in wrestling. They can really display someone’s character visually.
S: I think what else really helped JBL as well was the fact he cut his hair short, stopped dying it black, shaved the beard and took out the earrings. That’s my thing now, thank you.
JT: It was just the perfect circumstances of a guy needing to evolve in order to stop being stale, combined with the political climate and just the right attributes to make it work. So basically JBL comes out, and just calls Shawn out to make his statement. As we’ll come to learn, Shawn has fallen on some tough times. Though we might think he’s a multimillionaire, in actuality he’s a humble guy just like us *wink*. So Shawn explains that he made some bad investments, and with the recent financial crisis, he saw his savings disappear. He’s out here to explain that, as of now, JBL will be managing his expenses and in order to pay him back he will be working for him in WWE. That’s why JBL had to give him the okay to come out and talk tonight, it’s why JBL claimed the Slammy that HBK won 2 weeks prior for his match against Ric Flair. He says JBL is smug, he’s a bully, he’s reprehensible, but JBL is good financially and that he won’t become a wrestling tragedy, limping into high school gyms to wrestle. If being booed or being called a sell out is what it’ll take, he’ll do it, and right on cue there are some “You Sold Out” chant. He says it’s not something he wants to do, it’s something he has to do. He shakes JBL’s hand, and just like that his ass belongs not to his god, but the Wrestling God. So Seán, do you know how long this whole arrangement even lasts?
S: This storyline goes on until No Way Out of 2009, JBL would get a title match against Cena at the Rumble, Michaels would deliver Sweet Chin Music on both Cena and JBL, Cena obviously would win in the end and at No Way Out 2009, Michaels defeated JBL to be freed from his employment and that was the end of that.
JT: It’s kinda funny honestly how this storyline ended, like quickly? Like I know they were trying to play off the real life circumstances, but like the idea that Shawn Michaels was suddenly out of money was silly in the first place. It seemed pretty obvious that they had plans to do this at WrestleMania at least, but Shawn apparently had some Undertaker fella to fight? Also JBL was just done with wrestling, he had been doing it pretty much every week since like 1996.
S: Yeah JBL just had a mad ass schedule for like thirteen years so him taking a long break was probably needed. What’d you think of the segment by the way?
JT: I thought it was fine for what it was doing, Shawn’s 2nd run had a lot of heartfelt promos like this one.
S: Yeah agreed, it may have been a little too long for my liking but it did it’s job and served a purpose.
JT: Yeah, probably better suited for by Raw episode but it was fine here.
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Come Out Ye Strongest Man
S: And that takes to match number three???
JT: Well if you want to call it a match you can call it that, but I will refer to it by its proper name, a Belfast Brawl!! It is a presentation from the land of Extreme, it’s Mark Henry vs Finlay! This one’s story revolves around that little bastard, so we might as well talk about….sigh…Hornswoggle.
S: Ahhhh yes, my friend’s favourite wrestler. This is the same lad who thought the fast food app Just Eat is a chain of restaurants. Let’s talk about the wee man himself.
JT: First, let’s be fair to him. It would not be an overstatement to say that he is by far the most famous Little Person wrestler in the history of American wrestling. I know Mexico has a very rich tradition of Minis, such as the spectacular Max Mini, but that sort of thing never had the same consistent presentation here in the states. When it comes to WWE, Hornswoggle is the Little Man, he defines the genre. And, fun fact, Swoggle made his debut at only 18 years of age!! He’s a proper Randy Orton, I mean he’s only 34 years old now!! Considering his stature, the man is internationally recognized and will forever have a place in WWE’s legacy.
S: Oh without a doubt, the man has had an amazing career for himself, overcoming a load of adversity from a young age. Today of course he is The Weenomenal One in Impact Wrestling which was a great segment.
JT: It was a very good parody. It clearly came from a place of genuine respect and admiration. Alright, we’ve been nice, we can really just tear into how shitty a lot of the Hornswoggle stuff was.
S: Let’s get him!
JT: So first of all, the man couldn’t speak for the first like, 6-7 years of his career. They booked him, an adult man, as a speechless child with goofy leprechaun lucky charm powers. Now, he did have some funny moments, but overall his comedy moments were the exact sort of stuff people pointed to when they complained that WWE’s product was for children. Just goofy, silly, often childish nonsense. Of course, when they did more serious stuff, it still feels kind of weird. Again, they booked him to be a kid, and used his stature to infantilize him. So all the sympathetic stuff he and Finlay did were because “oh he’s a kid, don’t hurt the kid!”. I mean I’m sure Swoggle agreed to doing the things he did, but I can’t but help like just his entire run worked to paint Little People not as adult people who deserve to be respect as any adult should, but as goofy babies. That said, at the very end of his WWE run, it felt like he was more of an actual person with his own personality other than just short. I have a sweet spot for his time with 3MB and the WeeLC Match, since I was there live.
S: You were there for WeeLC? Man that’s awesome! I’m well jealous. Also, big shout out to Hornswoggle rapping at Mania 27 with The Bellas as his side girls, ya love to see it.
JT: Oh Jesus that. That sure was a segment on WrestleMania 27. Oh, and of course, we have yet to touch on the two biggest storylines of his career. One of which would come later on his career, and the other just finished up earlier in 2008. I think you know what I’m referring to.
S: Of course you are referring to him as Vince’s illegitimate son and his feud with Chavo Guerrero in 2009.
JT: Well correct on the first one, and though the Chavo feud is a silly little thing I also got to see play out live, I’m referring to his time as the Anonymous Raw General Manager.
S: Or as he was originally meant to be, as revealed on The New Day’s podcast, BIG NICK FROM NEW JERSEY!
JT: I haven’t actually heard of that? Please, fill me in!
S: Oh boy strap yourself in. So when Hornswoggle was pitched to be unveiled as the anonymous Raw GM, he wasn’t going to be revealed as Hornswoggle, rather he was going to be revealed as Big Nick, from Jersey! A rich New Jersey honcho, with slicked back hair and an oversized suit who lived in the penthouse suite, swimming in the dough and that the whole Swoggle character was a ploy to get kids to buy his *Jersey accent intensifies* HIS MOICHANDISE!
So the story goes that old Horny was told that he was going to revealed as anonymous Raw GM, he gets a call two days before Raw, he was asked could he do a Jersey accent. He said he didn’t know but would give it a try. He proceeded to study the voice of the baby from “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” by watching that scene over and over, practicing the accent with Hawkins and Kofi laughing their asses behind him because of how bad he was, it failed so much in rehearsals where management just went, and I paraphrase here “ahhh fuck it, might as well can the character”.
JT: Holy fucking shit. That’s amazing. I just have no words, what a wacky, ridiculous, yet totally believable story about the stupid things that come up in WWE creative. Bravo!
S: As I sit here near the end of 2020, I can honestly say that I fucking wish that this character got to see the light of day and that Swoggle mastered the Jersey accent. Hornswoggle as Big Nick from Jersey, King Regal as World Champ and Hade Vansen vs Undertaker feud. Top three of my wish they happened storylines.
JT: Big Nick just sounds like Robbie E on steroids, and if you’ve paid attention to what we said about him in our first 3 episodes of this season, you’ll be able to tell that I’d shamefully love Big Nick from Jersey. If it makes your wishes, I’d certainly make my list too, alongside Chris Jericho tattooing CM Punk and Vince being the father of Stephanie’s child.
Actually on second thought, Jericho tattooing Punk is too legitimately good to make those hallowed halls. What I meant to say was that Big Nick from Jersey would sit upon the throne alongside Vince/Steph McMahoncest and Unfrozen Nazi Heidenreich.
S: Oh god! Heidenreich as Baron Von Bava, the unfrozen nazi managed by Paul Heyman, a Jewish man… Don’t forget to add Kenzo Suzuki as the Japanese patriot, Hirohito.
JT: Oh yeah, Hirohito! Damn, they even started releasing the fucking vignettes for that one. Idk how that one managed to get past the creative table, it should’ve been shot down immediately.
But point is, Swoggle has been involved in a lot of shit. Most of it not good, but nevertheless he benefited regardless. At the very least, we can say that it allowed us to have more Finlay in TV from 2006-09, which is great because Finlay is a great wrestler.
S: Ah of course, Finlay is just always a consistent wrestler to watch, isn’t he? It’s mad how he was an agent in WWE for nearly five years before they just allowed him to wrestle on SmackDown and even here, I’m pretty sure he’s probably doing agent work behind the scenes as well.
JT: Yeah not only does he deserve credit for all the stuff he does behind the scenes, but he’s just a fun wrestler in the ring. Is he the flashiest character? No. Is he the most complex character? No. That’s why as a kid I didn’t really care much about him. But as an adult, I can recognize that he just batters whoever he’s facing with stiff potatoes, and it’s just beautiful!
S: Be careful how you word stiff potatoes with an Irishman involved there, James. Some of the uncultured people may take that one of context for some belly laughs.
JT: Be careful how you word stiff potatoes with an Irishman involved there, James. Some of the uncultured people may take that one of context for some belly laughs.
S: Be careful how you phrase that one there, the dirty minded lads may add a giggidy at the end of that one. I’M SO SORRY HAHAHAHA!
JT: Get your mind out of the gutter. All I’m saying is that I like the way he has intercourse——okay jokes aside, I do like how Finlay is a real tough guy. He just throws haymakers, and a lot of time it feels like he’s actually beating the tar out of his opponents. I really have come to appreciate wrestlers who snug, that’s honestly part of why I like Japanese wrestling so much. They’re not afraid to take a few real (or at least closer to real than not) shots in order to make themselves and the other guy look good. Because if I’m honest with ya, probably my least favorite kind of botch is the type where a guy obviously misses and/or a guy sells and obviously missed spot. Especially when they then try to just repeat the spot. It’s funny after the fact but it just always take me right out of the action when it happens.
S: Yeah when you say that what comes to mind is when Aleister Black, in his afterthought NXT Title reign at Takeover: Chicago II faced Lars Sullivan, the match was going pretty grand, then he wiffs the Black Mass to massive boos and the flow of the match just dies right before the climax.
JT: That one was pretty bad and killed whatever potential I thought Lars had, before we all realized he sucked as a person too. The one that came to mind for me immediately is Elimination Chamber 2013, where Big Show held up Ricardo Rodriguez’s bucket against his head, then ADR missed the Enziguri, leading to Show having to act like he didn’t hear or see anything, standing their like a dolt as Burto redid the spot.
S: Ahhhh yes that’s another one which completely kills the match. Honourable mention to Lance Storm being too nice of a human being to not clatter RVD with chairshots to the head at Barely Legal to massive boos from the ECW fans.
JT: That one is pretty bad too. Point is, Finlay will never be that guy. When you step in the ring with Finlay, you know what you’re signing up for. And tonight, in a Belfast Brawl, the fightingest man in WWE is facing The Strong Man, not just in WWE, but the whole world. So, how did this beef between Finlay and Mark Henry come about? Basically, Mark Henry was ECW Champion this summer, but lost it to Matt Hardy and would remain cranky about it for the rest of the year. In a #1 contenders match, Henry lost a shot to take back his title via a Shillelagh shot to the head from The Irishman. Though that’s perfectly in line with ECW tradition. It’s hard for me to imagine that Mark was trading ECW tapes in 96-97. So to get back at Finlay, he’s been going after his son Hornswoggle. He wanted to get his hands on the little bastard and presumably squeeze him till he popped or something like that. But being the caring father that he is, Finlay has been protecting his son from the Silverback, with mixed results. Most significantly on a recent episode of ECW we got Finlay & Swoggle vs Henry & Toe Knee Atlas (as Roddy Piper might say), where Henry slammed Swoggle and went for a Splash on him but Finlay pushed Swoggle out of the way, taking the bullet himself. Henry’s gone after his family, and now he’s going to make Make pay for it, Belfast style.
S: Belfast style which of course means street warfare, riots against the Orange Order of Northern Ireland and pipe bombs! Be careful what you wish for, Mark!
JT: Right before this match, we learn two things. First, the local Buffalo Bills are in the house. That said, the fans might not be happy to see them because as Tazz pointed out, they had just lost his NEW YORK JETS!! LETS GOOO TAZZ!! You and me together, against the world!!
S: Meanwhile my Chicago Bears are probably still bottling two TD leads twelve years ago. Big oof.
JT: Yeah admittedly I had a yuck at the expense of the Bills from 12 years ago, who were in the middle of skid, with this loss being their 3rd in a row as part of their 2-8 performance in their last 10 games after starting 5-1. But hey, when your team is potentially going to be the 3rd team ever to lose all 16 games, I gotta get my shots in when I can.
S: The Cleveland Browns are another team to go 0-16, right?
JT: Only two teams ever are the 2008 Detroit Lions and the 2017 Browns. And my 2020 Jets might just join them, but only time will tell if they do. Now, enough lallygagging, this I serious business!! Finlay has told Horny to stay in the back where it’s safe, as he prepares for war against Henry. Let’s get into this Belfast Brawl!!
S: Let’s get ta brawling!
JT: Finlay makes his way down to ringside with his Shillelagh in tow, putting it in his corner. The bell rings, he immediately clubs Henry with hard punches but Henry dumps him to the floor. He charges at Finlay but Finlay with a drop toe hold into the Raw Announce Table! However, it’s hardly enough to do Henry in or even slow him down, as Finlay gets slammed into the post and ring apron. He sweeps his leg out from under him Finlay, goes for a Big Splash but Finlay moves out of the way. They really tried to make a Splash a finisher in 2008 huh?
S: Yeah the World’s Strongest Splash is always a move which they would go in phases of making it out to be a finisher and then stop pushing it as such. Weird.
JT: That and him/other big guys using a Bear Hug. Every time they think of that, it sounds good on paper, and then they book it and it looks terrible irl. They then bury the move deep in their creative attic, only to dust it off and then go “Oh hey, this has never failed before!”. Every. Single. Time. I’m surprised Braun Strowman hasn’t done a Bear Hug as a finish.
S: Well James, we can never forget his standing front sleeper when he first debuted with the piss stain pants.
JT: You’re right! I should’ve remembered that, considering again, I was there to see him debut!! We’re really just checking off all the boxes for “Weird and memorable things James has seen at Wrestling Shows” today aren’t we? His dumb choke thing was close enough. And his piss stain patterned pants can’t be buried deep enough way in my mind. Hideous.
S: Almost as hideous as those pants. Shall we wrap this one up?
JT: Yeah, let’s get back on topic. So So as Matt Stryker wonders where these two will be by WM25 (it’s the MITB Ladder Match BTW) Finlay grabs a trash cans, kendo sticks, and hucks them into the ring with one hitting Mark. Tony Atlas tries to get involved by using a Bin Lid right to the back of Finlay, who just turns and kicks him, Finlay is having none of his shit. However, he does turn and walk right into a Lid to the face from Mark. People trying to start the wave on the front row, meanwhile Mark in the words of Booker T, “Just left a skid mark on that boy” as he leaves him on the ropes and dives through them, throwing his whole weight on him. To come back, Funlay throws a can in Henry’s face, follows up with Kendo Stick shots, then a DDT, then another Trash Can shot. Still, he can’t keep Henry down as he clobbers him to take control again. He goes for a big sit but Finlay moves out of the way, and decides its time to go for the Shillelagh. Before he can use it, Henry hits him with a boot then he snaps the Shillelagh over his knee!! He goes for a Bear Hug to squeeze the remaining life out of Belfast’s finest, when suddenly Hornswoggle appears, only for Henry to shove Finlay into him, knocking him off the apron. Swoggle disappears again as Mark just presses a Can against Finlay in the corner. He then brings the stairs in the ring, he goes to use them but Finlay dropkicks his leg, and Henry falls on the stairs face first. Now the Little Bastard is back, he slides a new Shillelagh to him, and Finlay he nails a shot to the Head!! 1—2—3!! Now as an Irishman yourself, I’m sure you have a lot to say about this one Seán. What did you think of this Belfast Brawl?
S: I thought it was a perfectly serviceable brawl, it’s no JBL vs Finaly from Mania 24, mind you but fine nonetheless. I’m actually shocked that WWE never went full ‘this is Ireland, right?’ with the gimmicks, like a mini bar, kegs, bar stools, wavin pipes, Sally rods and of course, the dreaded wooden spoon, every Irish child’s fear.
JT: I’m sure they never went whole hog with the Ireland stereotypes because surely Finlay would’ve actually battered whoever gave it the go ahead. I agree with you about this match. It’s fine, typical plunder brawl, with two fun guys that doesn’t do much but doesn’t waste my time.
S: Good to see Funlay getting the win and the redemption for old Swoggle too.
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Marelly Christmas to All
JT: Alright, now before we get to our next match, we have a special, holiday themed segment backstage. All the Divas are talking, smiling, just having a good old time this holiday season. I mean even good old Santa Haas is there!! You all remember the genius gimmick of dressing Charlie Haas up as random other wrestlers before inevitably jobbing him out in second flat, right?
S: Yes. Yes I do. How could I forget the brilliance Haas Hogan and Charlie Haas Layfield?
JT: Impersonations in wrestling can be good fun, but sadly it really didn’t get Haas any further in the company, although it was probably the standout part of his singles career. That said, what’s the harm of having him dress as Santa for Christmas? There is none! It’s just a good time! Everyone is enjoying themselves, until they’re told “Greetings Losers!!”. And IN COME GLAMERELLA!! It’s Santino and Beth Phoenix!! Yes, fuck yes!! Even though it’s basically the bare minimum, here comes legitimately one of my favorite acts of 2008!’
S: Yes! Heel Santino in 2008 is the king of all zingers! Every time I watch back in 2008, he is the guy who’d get me to laugh my ass off. Never forget his segment at Mania 24 where he referred to Festus as ‘tha brain damaaaged a Charlie Brown’.
JT: Santino throughout his career is honestly one of the best comedy characters WWE had, with his unique speaking mannerisms, ability to put on decent matches and goofball charm, but he was never better than in 2008. After debuting as seemingly a random fan, winning the Intercontinental Championship off Umaga thanks to Bobby Lashley, he slowly turned heel as the jealous boyfriend of Maria. Over time he had moments with Stone Cold Steve Austin, Jerry Lawler and even Snoop Dogg before beginning his angle with Beth Phoenix is the Summer of 08. After she beat him in an open challenge, they ended up kissing backstage, much to their own confusion, sparking their Power Couple parody angle. As Glamerella, the two were a weekly highlight of Raw and an actually timely parody (for once, good job WWE) of Hollywood Power Couple culture like Brangelina (Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie). In the process, the dominating Women’s Champion Beth managed to drag Santino’s wimpy ass to a 2nd IC Title reign, beginning his quest to become the Greatest Champion in the Title’s history. Bringing out the “Honk-A-Meter” Santino would count every week until he was at the Honky Tonk Man’s 64 week reign. Of course, as we already mentioned earlier in the show, he didn’t make it that far, maxing out at a little over 12 weeks, but it was good fun the whole time. Really, these two together were just an amazing odd couple. Santino could play the wimpy boyfriend who got bailed out by Beth, the obnoxious doting bf who would shower her with praise, and sometimes he even showed himself to have a crueler edge than ever she had. But we’ll get to that last one. Really, Santino and his terribly amazing haircut are here to rub Beth’s Diva of the Year Slammy in everyone’s face. And hey, Slammy awards!! Ain’t they great?
S: Oh they’re brilliant and so is Santino’s V haircut avec the mullet, that haircut was a big hit in Sligo from 2008-2011, I’ll have you know.
JT: Hey, calm down man. Don’t worry. I’m not here to judge the storied culture of Sligo. I’m not here to judge what the people of Sligo thought was fashionable in 2008-11. I mean with Santino leading the charge, who wouldn’t follow him? But seriously, we haven’t brought it up to this point, but the Slammys were a pretty prominent part of the show, and I just gotta know, what do you think of that? It felt like during this 2007-2011 type period, the Slammys always made up at least a few weeks of TV every year.
S: I like the idea of it being presented as a big deal, kind of like how it was treated in the New Gen Era but also kind of tongue in cheek at the same time. It’s certainly a bold move but imo, I prefer it being the big Academy Award like parody in the 90’s rather than using it for your big weekly show tbh.
JT: Year I think as of late, they tend to be up their own ass with it. They like to pretend they’re more important than they actually are. But, that said, I appreciate when certain characters make a bigger deal out of the awards than anyone else. Obviously, you’ve got Owen Hart carrying award his Slammy for essentially a whole year, you’ve also got Miz & Morrison around this time using their Slammys as a bragging right on their Weekly Internet Series, The Dirt Sheet. And continuing the trend of only vain and obnoxious heels carrying about their Slammys, Santino represents that tonight as he says all the other Divas are jealous of Beth’s Slammy. As the Winner, he says they get to pick the next Christmas present, but unfortunately this doesn’t go well for him. As he doesn’t pull out a present from the boxes, instead he pulls out….The Boogeyman!!
S: Here he is, peeps. This is more or less the only capacity Boogey is used in before he gets released in a few months because he can’t go five matches without getting injured. I mean he was even injured going into his only Mania match and was only notable on ECW for a few months in 2007, then would only be seen beating various jobbers and disappearing again.
JT: Yeah he’s another guy who I’m sure people who grew up watching WWE from 2005-08 would recognize and have happy memories associated with. But I’m not one of those fans, like you said he was pretty much on his last legs here, and he’d be off tv when I started watching. Really the biggest memory I had of him was in the SmackDown vs. Raw 2009 Undertaker Road to WrestleMania mode, where he was your main antagonist, who you sent Zombified Santino & Finlay at!! Anyway, Boogey gives Santino a scare, causing him to scream and run right into Goldust….under the mistletoe. Santino again screams and runs, Goldie wishes Boogey a Merry Christmas and in one of Boogey’a few pieces of dialogue that wasn’t “I’m the Boogeyman”, “I’m coming to get getcha” or evil laughing, he wishes Goldust a Merry Christmas. Everyone starts sharing presents, as more people file in for the party, including Jesse & Festus, some referees, and IRS for some reason. This sure is 2008, isn’t it?
S: Yeah it really is, you can tell it’s a miscellaneous backstage segment when you’ve IRS walking in with full gimmick and everything, just need a few more agents like Patterson, Brisco, Steamboat. Come to think of it… WASN’T IRS USED IN THIS EXACT TYPE OF ROLE IN OUR FIRST EPISODE???
JT: YOU’RE EXACTLY CORRECT!! For all of you who don’t know and don’t remember, our very first episode of the Power Hour, before we even knew this could be a series, was just a review of WrestleMania 23, where IRS just showed up randomly in a backstage skit just like this! I mean it makes sense, this is only a year later from then, but what are odds that we’ve seen IRS twice while covering periods years after his retirement?!?
S: It’s unlikely to say the least but here he is, the only reason he’s here really is probably because they just needed a random agent and he was there so they just got him to join in on the festivities.
JT: Yeah, I’m sure he had his gear in his bag just in case. Now, before we move on, I just want to use this occasion to bring up another odd Santino occurrence before we depart. Seán, do you know about the segment that happens just a week after this show, involving Glamerella?
S: It’s hardly the Johnny Knoxville segment, is it?
JT: Oh no. See, with only a few days until Christmas, Santino was not in the holiday spirit. In his words, he was tired of all the “mis-respect”. So, tonight live (see here: pretaped) on Raw, he’s going to tell all the children of the world a little secret about Santi Claus!!
S: I don’t like where this is going but going on…
JT: I mean, even Beth didn’t like it either. She seemed actually surprised that Santino would tread on such inappropriate ground, and so he told her to shut up. And before he could say something heinous, John Cena interrupted. He said Santino’s secret about Chris Cringle was that Santino didn’t like him because he “never got that Barbie Dollhouse Mansion and Pink Barbie Corvette that he always wanted” to which Santino said “HOW DID YOU KNOW….I mean, how dare you!”. This set up a mixed tag match for later in the night, where if Santino won, he’d let out the secret. So to face off against WWE’s resident Power Couple, Cena got a special gift from Santa, one named Trish Stratus!! Coming out of retirement to defend Christmas, Trish had her first match in over 2 years, which would be the first of a few appearance over the years including at WrestleMania 28, the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble, WWE’s Evolution PPV, and finally at Summerslam 2019 where she retired again, presumably for good. Now that I’ve brought up Trish & Cena, I think you know why I went out of the way to bring this up, aside from more Santino fun.
S: To celebrate Christmas of course! I didn’t know when Trish came back for that random tag match revolved around that weird segment. The exchange about the Barbie convertible though, that’s good comedy not gonna lie.
JT: Yeah Santino was always great with making himself the butt of a joke. He was never afraid to look bad if it meant the fans got a laugh. And honestly, I think it’s one of the better incorporations of Santa Claus on WWE TV. Much better than Alberto Del Rio running him over weeks after turning face. It was a nice way for dickhead heel Santino to bring up the taboo, but in a way that gave the kiddies the last laugh and a fun match in the end. Cena & Trish wipe the floor with Santino, and everyone has a very merry Raw!
S: Christmas is saved! Hallelujah!
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Mr Andershill
JT: And now, just as quickly as we finished one backstage segment, we’ve got one more. No I promise, this one is short, and I’m only bringing it up because it’s a guy from TNA. In fact it’s our new Champion, it’s Mr Kennedy!! And he’s here to advertise his new DVD going on sa——OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT FACIAL HAIR?!?
S: I was going to bring this up as soon as we got to him! State of your fucking facial hair, Ken! Woeful look for him, he’s nearly out the door too, he’s got maybe three more matches left in him. Also, state of your fucking movie too.
JT: Yeah things are uhh not great for him. He’s out injured after dislocating his shoulder in a House Show match against Shelton Benjamin, and aside from his sporadic tv appearances in the fall to promote his shit film called “Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia”, he wouldn’t even get vignettes to return until May. But hey, at least he got to “act” alongside Keith David?
S: Yeah, good for him, I guess. Felt like this was the requirememt for WWE films around this time, get one wrestler and one big name. With The Condemned, you had Stone Cold and Vinnie Jones. You’ve this shtinker. In Legendary, you have Cena, Patricia Clarkson and Danny Glover. That’s What I Am, you’ve got Orton and Ed Harris and the list goes on.
JT: How can you relegate the legendary Ted DiBiase Jr in The Marine 2 to “and the list goes on”?!? But jokes aside, the fact he was in these movies show they thought at least something of him. They don’t just give these films to anyone. I mean, you don’t have to be a top star to get them, but at the very least they seem to pass these offers off to guys they think have something. And like we’ve discussed already, he wouldn’t find that something while in WWE but he’s definitely found something in TNA. But more on that in our next episode *wink*
JT: Well Seán, would you look at the time! We’re about halfway done with this show, so I say it’s time to do a little bit of a Recharge!!
S: Quick James! To The Recharge Café!
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The Recharge
JT: Hello and welcome to the Recharge!! This is a little halfway through breaky-poo where Seán and I can break up the formula of match after match after match with some light hearted chatting and some wrestling trivia. Now, usually we have a big old talk about how thing are going, what’s going on in our lives outside of wrestling, as well as having a chat about what’s going on in present day wrestling. But we’re gonna give you a little behind the scenes looksy when I say, we’re pretty much writing this out only days after finishing the last episode. So there’s really nothing all that different going on for me, aside from some holiday decorating, what about you?
S: Well I’ve had my Christmas decorations up since the last weekend of November, so just after Thanksgiving for you. I’m nearly finished my first semester of first year in college so that’s been good, even if I found it really hard adapting to it, especially with it online. I’m on the home stretch for all of my assignments so everything is looking good for me right now. Christmas is around the corner, hoping to get that Colin Delaney action figure. The World Darts Championship will be on, probably watch Die Hard. The usual. A jazzed man, is I and I ain’t testifying.
JT: I’ll be honest, usually I try to push back against the wave of Christmas, mostly because I think Thanksgiving can be a real nice time, but not this year. Christmas is a comforting time for so many people, so I say let’s just go with it. We haven’t had much this year, let’s at least have some holiday cheer.
S: Yeah honestly, this year Christmas can be the gluttonous hog of cheer because I think everyone needs it after this fucking whirlwind of nearly 366 days.
JT: I don’t know about you, but what would really get me full of cheer is a round of trivia. I’ve got a question for you on my mind, are you ready?
S: AWH HELL YEAAAAHHH! James, lay your question upon ye here Recharge.
JT: Alright, so I’m just going to recap our trivia rules. Three Guesses, One Hint, only One Answer. Got it. So, tonight we saw the 2008 Diva of the Year, Beth Phoenix. But as we discussed, the Slammys have a long history in WWE. So with that said, let’s go all the way back to 1987, to the 2nd ever Slammy Awards, where I’ll ask you this: who was the first ever “Diva” or in this case Woman of the Year?
S: Alright so it’s 1987, I’m gonna take a stab at Sherri Martel?
JT: Good guess, but incorrect.
S: Alright I’ll go for guess number two, Rockin Robin by any chance?
JT: She’s a nice choice, but she’s didn’t even make the 5 woman ballot. Would you like a hint or are you just gonna shoot with your final guess?
S: Alright, I think I need to cash in my hint here, James.
JT: Fair enough. So you guesses Rockin Robin and Sherri Martel, who are both valuable women in their own right, woman brought it in the ring. That is not where our Slammy Winner made her home though, she was a manager not a wrestler.
S: Ahhhhhh I now see where we’re getting at. Was the winner of this coveted award the one and only, Miss Elizabeth Savage?
JT: That is correct!! Beating out Sherri Martel, Fabulous Moolah, Dolly Parton and Yoko Ono, Miss Elizabeth won the first ever Slammy for Woman of the Year in 1987.
S: Belter, only in the WWF will you ever see Moolah make a Woman of the Year shortlist. HUP!
Seán: To keep this Slammy related, we all know how remarkable of a manager Tony Atlas is so my question to you James is which of these managers won the ‘Manager of the Year’ award at the 1987 Slammy Awards? Slick, Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Hart or Mr. Fuji?
James: Hmmm alright so for this one, I’m going to just go with my heart and guess Bobby Heenan, considering I think he’s probably the greatest manager ever.
S: It was not him, would you like a hint or take a second guess first?
JT: Alright, that’s fair. But I think I can go without a hint for now. I’m going to guess the Mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart for Manager of the Year.
S: Also incorrect, would you like your hint now?
JT: Yeah I’d like that hint.
S: The award went to, well, let’s just say an outside contender if I may say so. Also, keep in mind that kayfabe is in full effect at this point and managers are always viewed in a certain light.
JT: Well that would lead me to believe that Slick was the manager of the year. Am I correct?
S: Incorrect James. The winner of the manager of the year went to….. NONE OF THE ABOVE, THE KAYFABE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE! Hence why I said that it was an outside contender and that managers were viewed in a certain light in the Canon of wrestling.
JT: Wow you got me there!! God bless President Jack Tunney for looking at those no good hucksters, and deciding, none of you deserve to win anything! Well kayfabed!
S: At least that’s something which Jack Tunney did right, may the kayfabe be with you, former President Tunney. Show that weasel, that colonel, that sneaky Fuji and that sly Slick that if you’re a bold manager, you get no Slammy in your stocking.
JT: Managers are in the WWF, but we’re not happy about it dammit. That was a nice little recharge wasn’t it? I’m about ready to move on back to the main show.
S: So am I James and it looks like there’s going to be a little clash between two former running buddies. Let’s take it back!
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Evolution is their History, their First Match for Us to see!!
JT: We’re back into the swing of things, and as Seán said, two former allies are facing off next. It’s 4 years in the making, the two star pupils of Evolution coming face to face for the first time!! It’s the Animal Batista against the Viper Randy Orton!!
S: I’m actually stunned that WWE managed to keep them apart during those four years, even when they were both on SmackDown, they even managed to keep them separated (no Offspring reference here).
JT: Yeah that was my first note too. It’s shocking that they kept them apart, especially because the story would be so obvious. Although I suppose perhaps Batista’s injury in early 2006 took away a potential Orton/Batista WrestleMania match. Boy, what a different timeline that would’ve been with no Rey Mysterio push.
S: It was certainly the feud they were teasing at Mania 22 in that backstage segment but rather than in the Summer of 2006, we’re getting it here at Christmas time 2008!
JT: Better late than never I suppose, because the fans seemed real excited to see this one despite having very little story. What’s the storyline? Batista helped kick Orton out of Evolution in 2004 and Orton has resented him ever since. Their rivalry kicked off at Survivor Series, when thanks to a sacrifice by Cody Rhodes, Orton managed to beat Batista’s team and eliminate the Animal himself last. But Batista wants Orton one on one, and he’s gonna get that tonight.
S: So just a few months before this, Orton debuted his ‘Voices’ theme which he has used ever since. Thoughts on this song, James?
JT: I’ve got mixed feelings on the song. It’s definitely grown on me over time, since really at this point it’s an iconic theme song. Like at this point they’ve got all the lighting/theatrics down perfectly for the song, and just like the opening notes immediately get crowds on their feet. I also feel like Voices fits post 2008 Orton a lot more than Burn in My Light does. Like at this point everyone knows who Orton is, he doesn’t have to prove his greatness, he doesn’t have to earn his position anymore. It’s also fits the more calculated, psychotic and aggressive characters he’d end up playing over the next decade. Like honestly seeing Orton without his original young man haircut but not having Voices feels weird now. Even at WM24, where he still has BIML, it felt off to see him come out to it. Yet still, I can’t help but feel this theme doesn’t entirely sit right with me. It just gives me this late 2000s onwards Rock Music feeling, in a “This is why this genre isn’t popular anymore” feeling. Something about Burn in My Light just makes it more palatable for me. Maybe it’s the sick guitar bridge/solo after the chorus, maybe it’s the building guitars and building tempo. To some this up, Voices fits him for most of his career more than Burn in My Light would, but I’d never listen Voices for pleasure even though it’s not that bad. What about you?
S: I definitely prefer Burn in my Light as an actual song and especially for an entrance, it very much encapsulated the early character of what Randy Orton had in his early career. Voices is a song which ALWAYS requires a super long entrance and that’s always kind of griped me, I think it better suited Randy’s character which evolved in 2007 to the vicious, cunning heel. The same as you in that it’s grown on me over time but it’s no BIML. It works for Orton at this time though.
JT: I definitely prefer Burn in my Light as an actual song and especially for an entrance, it very much encapsulated the early character of what Randy Orton had in his early career. Voices is a song which ALWAYS requires a super long entrance and that’s always kind of griped me, I think it better suited Randy’s character which evolved in 2007 to the vicious, cunning heel. The same as you in that it’s grown on me over time but it’s no BIML. It works for Orton at this time though.
S: Where’s Sim Snuka though?
JT: I have no clue. Honestly this first version of Legacy has such a weird timeline. You’ve got Manu & Sim Snuka both joining and getting kicked out in a period of months, I know Ted DiBiase Jr has already made his debut and won the Tag Titles with Cody already, but he’s not in Legacy yet? It’s odd, but the ship rights itself by the Rumble of 09. It just took some workshopping.
S: It sure did, it’s also kind of crazy how a stable who were as prominent as Legacy in 2009 were really only around for just over a year.
JT: Yeah it’s pretty crazy. Like consider Cody’s lisp. He has a bit of one here, not anything bad, but you know it’s a clear thing that he’d work on for years to come. It’s just an example of the sort of kinks he’d work out over the years, and yet he’s still in such a major position. I mean in less than a year, he and Ted Jr would be feuding with Shawn Michaels and Triple H, straight up 2 on 2.
S: Yeah and it’s so crazy that during Ted and Cody’s arguably best run as a team, they never got the tag titles, it’s almost like they were positioned to be above them.
JT: You’re right, they really were. Like in that run not like a successful tag team that will do well in the tag division for years to come, but rather as two future single stars finding their place and getting experience as a Tag Team. This might be a bit of an exaggeration, but they legitimately felt like the Two Man Power Trip, where they were good not just because they had chemistry as a team but because they were legitimate title threats on their own. It’s a shame they didn’t live up to that in WWE, but I can’t say they didn’t try. The breakup of Legacy left a little to be desired but they were booked pretty well as lackeys.
S: Also got a win over DX at Breaking Point and main evented the first HIAC PPV. Should we break this one down then?
JT: Yeah let’s not focus too much on Cody & Ted, that’s the next chapter of his career. This is about closing the door on the last chapter of career, it’s about closing the door on Evolution. And Batista wants to do the same, he wants to shut Orton up for good and prove that he was the top star of Evolution and that Orton’s way of moving on since then was wrong. Let’s get into it!! So right at the start, there’s a long tie up period where we can see some internet fuck with a sign that says “Marks” and “We Want Hawkins & Ryder” on the back. Some fucking people. So the chain wrestling goes on for a bit until Batista gets a knockdown. Orton immediately goes into his bag of tricks as he sends Batista to the floor, Rhodes distracts him, and Manu from behind, only for the referee to catch them in the act and send them out. Exciting as this means we’re going to get Batista/Orton straight up, nobody in the way. However, Randy already has a leg up thanks to the Legacy attack, allowing him to throw him into the post, working over the shoulder. The crowd is louder than they’ve been all night, chanting for the Animal. He starts to get a comeback, as he gets a corner clothesline then a Powerslam, then gets his signature Rope Shake Taunt. He lifts him up for the Batista Bomb, but Orton hops off his shoulder and hits a Neckbreaker. From there we get a signature Orton chinlock, but Batista powers out then slams shoulders into his chest in the corner, then sends Orton over the top rope after Orton hit the ropes. He sends Orton back inside, but is slow to come back in, Orton with a kick, then the Hanging DDT (not vintage Orton yet) 1–2–Kickout!! More vintage slow offense as he works him over, and Seán, I just gotta ask, what do you think of Randy’s real MO of chi locks and slow stomps? Like do you find it actually boring, or do you think it just gives him a bad rap, or what do you think the deal is?
S: I think people certainly had a case at this time that it killed his matches, for me as a kid, I was always conditioned to watch matches through the WWE format, slowly build and build to a fiery crescendo, looking back now he does deserve criticism for doing it constantly in his matches over the next few years but it fits Orton’s character, he should be a wrestler who slowly dissects his opponents and then strike when they least expect it, he’s a cunning heel. The criticism is justified in some respects but it is effective.
JT: Yeah I think it’s more of a case to case basis than people often imply. Often I hear criticism that if he just does it it automatically sucks. I think it really depends on the match afterwards, like if they sell the attack on the limbs or if it’s used as a brief cool down before more exciting action. If the action just stays slow, then it’s bad, but if it actually serves a purpose, it’s fine. It’s never truly great but we forget that these guys need breathers, it’s just a part of wrestling.
S: Exactly and plus, those spotlights would make any normal person roast in the heat more than a Christmas Day turkey.
JT: So as Batista manages to fight back up to his feet as he drives Orton back into the corner, then he hits a sidewalk slam. Big Dave with big punches and big clotheslines, including one to send Randy to the floor. He tries to go up top but shades of his dad, Randy grabs him and hits a Superplex!! 1-2-Kickout!! Randy picks him up and tries to send him across but Dave reverses it, with Randy bouncing back to him for a Spinebuster!! He pulls him in for the Batista Bomb, but Orton slips free and goes for the RKO only for Batista to push him off into the ropes back into a Sideslam!! He lines him up for a Spear, but Randy responds with a kick then a Backbreaker. He could for the RKO but Batista blocks and hits a Sideslam again, 1-2-Kickout!! He tries to pick Randy back up but he gets caught with a Jawbreaker, then a DDT, but Batista powers at 2 again. Now Orton starts to line him up for the Punt, but Batista stops him, scooping him up and sending him into the corner. He starts pounding on him for a good old 10 Punchspot, but Orton counters, moving out of the corner and looking for what looks like an Alabama Slam, but Batista hangs and falls forward, turning it into a Batista Bomb!! 1—2—3!! Batista proves his dominance against Orton, dishing out a brutal defeat to the Viper!! What did you think of this one, Seán?
S: Not gonna lie man but I really liked this one, thought the two really meshed well together and put on a really solid match. They both can wrestle the proverbial “WWE Style” to an absolute tee and they proved why, I thought the crowd really helped here as well, a real positive we’ve gotten from this show has been the crowd because let’s be honest, the Impact Zone crowd we’re getting at the moment is a real mixed bag but here, they’re just up for it. I thought the finish was well cool as well and good to see aul Batty Tista go over. Thumbs up from me, honestly.
JT: Yeah I think this match written out didn’t give it enough credit. On paper, it’s not a great match but in actuality it was a fun match, and the finish was real unique. Was it a special match? Not particularly, but it was still a fun match between two guys who can honestly put on some real duds. I consider this a W.
S: And I’m pretty sure Batista gets injured after this until the night after Mania too, right?
JT: Yeah the next night actually, Orton punted Batista in the Head, writing him off until then. In reality, he hurt his hamstring back in his Summerslam match against John Cena. Funny thing is Cena got hurt in that match too, so what I think happened here is that Batista worked hurt for a while with Cena down, to avoid Raw going without it’s 2 top faces at once.
S: That’s very noble of Big Dave, fair play to him for gunning that one out because a hamstring injury is a painful and serious one. What’s next up on our docket anyways?
JT: I mean he reaped the rewards by getting a brief World Title run out of it, but still fair fucks to him.
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I saw Mommy Kissing Khali Klaus
JT: And up next is a little Holiday seasoned fun!!
S: And King goes wild, as does Tazz, not JR though because he hasn’t gone to AEW and been infected by the horny fever yet.
JT: Respectfully speaking of course.
S: We usually do theme song talk because we’re theme song fanatics in wrestling oh my god, ZEBRAHEAD FOR MARIA IS JUST THE PERFECT THEME SONG!
JT: Woah woah woah calm down lad. We can get to that, but first let me set the stage and point out how, not only is here theme great but it’s actually part of the storyline! So tonight we’ve got an 4 on 4 Santa’s Little Helper Diva Tag Match! It’s Maria, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly and Diva’s Champion Michelle McCcol against Maryse, Victoria, Natalya & Jillian!! So first let me set the stage. The team with the Diva’s Champion is coming out to not her theme, dissension!! But personally, I’m happy it’s Maria’s because it is, as you said, very good. Instant SmackDown vs Raw 2009 memories, as it played on the main screen all the time. And it’s just a banger. Just a straight up banger.
S: Proper early 2000’s punk vibes off it, Zebrahead, Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, New Found Glory, Yellowcard, Sum 41. All those great bands, a simpler time. Boy there are a lot of blondes in this match, now that I think of it, aren’t there?
JT: Her song gives me real 2000s Teen Rom Com movie credits vibes. And yeah, lots of blondes! Many of em!! You’ve got Maryse, Michelle, Kelly Kelly, Jillian and even Natalya would eventually be a blonde. And that’s not counting Beth Phoenix, who’s also on this show!! And Trish shows up a week later too!! Johnny Ace is in full swing at this point as Senior VP of Talent Operations.
S: Boy if this were a podcast, I’d bust out my Johnny Ace impression right on the spot, let me tell ya. Five blonde ladies in this match, Johnny Ace and Vince just can’t help themselves right now.
JT: Blondes in special Holiday Gear too? Oh man they’re just having a grand old time.
S: How about we have a grand old time by talking about this ever most festive match?
JT: Yeah let’s get into the proceedings. We’ve got the goodies in Santa Red and the heels are in Elf Green. We’ve got some gross ass sign that says “it’s a divas match giggity giggity”, please fuck off. Or be more like the group of Victoria marks who have two “Victoria please slap McCool” signs and a “Victoria one more title reign” sign. She will get one, just not in WWE, you know what I mean. So Mickie and Maryse start it off, trading shots, with Maryse hanging between the ropes while taunting. Natalya rags in, gets in Mickie’s face, slapping Mickie but quickly getting a Thesz Press and a slap before she tags in Kelly with a Sunset Flip for 1. “Kelly Kelly celebrates Hanukkah, what a hot Hebrew she is” Stryker please stfu. Natty & Kelly do a spot where Natty flips Kelly but they deliberate for a good 10 seconds before doing it right, which Kelly follow up with a clothesline. God bless her Seán, Kelly never really got any better did she?
S: Ehhhh not really, like she’d be passable in 2011 but she was usually working with Beth and Natalya at the time who would make her look good. Also, never knew Kelly Kelly was Jewish, a fun fact then spoiled by Striker’s lame alliterative compliment towards Kelly. We get it lads, ye all have a fucking rager for her.
JT: Seriously, hearing how annoying these fuckers are, it really helps me recognize how far the woman have gotten. Like they actually have more than one match a night, they don’t get obviously horned on by commentary? That’s gotta count for something.
S: Yeah it does, it’s something I thought we’d never get rid of in commentary, which was the obvious perving on the women. Like if ye think they’re good looking lads, just stick to the PG rating and keep it respectful and not blatant thirsting.
JT: So Kelly Cartwheels to get out of a wrist lock, then a hits a really bad dropkick, she elevates but barely hits Natty in the ass. Natty thencuts off Kelly and puts her in the corner to get worked over by the heels. K2 tried to fight back but gets hit by a Discus Clothesline by Natalya. Jillian tags in, still playing up her singing gimmick but she still hasn’t gotten all the way into the terrible depths it’d go, do you remember how annoying that shit was?
S: Oh dude, don’t remind me, it was the most annoying thing you’d get on Raw, like I feel they did this shit for over two damn years, that’s too long for a gimmick this bad to last, honestly and we all know it’s just a parody of Britney Spears when she was well, let’s just say wokka wokka, little bit carazyyyyy.
JT: Yeah it really felt like she did that shit for forever and was there like every other week, while simultaneously not doing anything relevant. Well, except that time she won the fucking Divas Title, remember that shit?!?
S: I sure do, my friend, held it for like six minutes and dropped it immediately to Melina, right?
JT: Yep. Goes to show how little respect they had for the Division that they gave their top title to what was more or less a jobber character, just as a transitional champion.
S: Only on here will you get an in depth conversation on Jillian Hall of all wrestlers. Happy Hanukkah.
JT: Mazel tov! So Kelly gets her knees up as Jillian goes for a Cartwheel Splash, allowing her to tag out to Maria, who hits a running bulldog as commentary is totally distracted. The goodies, except for Michelle, run in and chase off the heels after Victoria breaks up a cover. Jillian sends Maria across, Kelly has to stop herself from interrupting the Irish whip, because she’s out of place and Maria has to hit the ropes for a Headscissor. She hits the ropes again but McCool gets the blind tag to Maria’s annoyance, but Michelle pays her no mind as goes and hits the Faithbreaker (which gets the biggest reaction of the match by far) to pin and win. I don’t really have many thoughts for this match, it was a typical bad multi woman tag match that had no time to do anything interesting. It was a vehicle for ogling and for the Maria/Michelle storyline, with everyone else being there for camera time. What say you?
S: Yeah same thoughts on it as you really, just a way to get women on the card and positioned as a piss break proceeding the match coming up after this. The commentary for the most part just annoyed the absolute shite out of me, expecially Striker and King but look, it’s to be expected at this time. Nothing really notable bar the Faithbreaker, she always did it safely so good on ya, Michelle.
JT: Well not that that’s out of the way, it’s time to get to the real reason this match is on the show. As Maria, Michelle, Mickie and Kelly are arguing, The Great Khali’s music hits!! It’s about that time, it’s Khali Kiss Cam time!! Boy am I glad we got to walk down memory lane for this great idea.
S: Oh god! I completely forgot this segment happened!
JT: You tried to block it out but the Punjabi Playboy will not be denied. Seriously, what is this gimmick?!? Why?!? Who wanted this?!?
S: Who fucking knows, honestly, this gimmick I’d blocked from my memories for a good few years and whaddya know, The Punjabi Playboy finds his way back into my mind. It’s such a fucking weird gimmick. Clearly Vince has some weird soft spot for big man wrestlers being ladies men. Ya got Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry. World’s Largest Love Machine, Viscera. Now you got this, whatever the fuck this is.
JT: I swear this gimmick only exists because of Khali’s like anti-charisma. Like the idea to me feels like it’s just “lets pretend Khali has lots of charm” when he can barely speak.
S: He can barely speak, he can barely bump, he can barely move and he can’t wrestle. What a sex machine.
JT: So Khali stumbles his way down to the ring and starts asking for a smooch from the 4 woman in the ring, and none seem excited to do so, so the Kiss Cam goes on and though Michelle tries to push Maria into the cam she gets gets chosen anyway. It doesn’t matter thought as he runs away with her belt, what a heel for not consenting! None of the remaining 3 seem excited to be the one, and Rajin Singh says they are all too intimidated by Khali’s rugged handsomeness to do it, but lucky he has a backup plan. His backup plan is none other than, Mae Young!!I love how when Singh starts saying she’s been “helping Santa for a long, long time” the crowd knows exactly who is coming and get excited. Let’s just give a big round of applause to Mae for putting up with “Mae is old” jokes for nearly 15 years, and for go all in for it, with Khali, she just sucks face big time. She is too much for the Punjabi Playboy to even handle, he looks like he’s going to be sick. I’m just glad there was some fun to be had out of what was a mostly very awkward segment.
S: Yeah Mae Young always adds a bit of craic to certain segments, she more or less saved this but that’s a small positive out of an overall negative in my opinion.
JT: Yeah I’m glad she got a pop but there’s very little else to be had from this. Again, props to how far we’ve come.
S: Feels like we say this a lot but it’s true really. This was just a mess overall to be honest.
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Deck down the Halls of Jericho
JT: We’re now on to our semi-main event of the night, which sees the World Heavyweight Champion John Cena putting his title on the line against the 2008 Slammy Superstar of the Year, Chris Jericho!!
S: Oh baby, this had a really solid build up, didn’t it James?
JT: Did it really?
S: Well the build is bog standard WWE rematch build but I must say, it is made by MEAN DAD CHRIS JERICHO!
JT: Right now, I’m just going to take a second to say that this is the best Jericho character. Better than what he’s doing now, better than what he did in the 90s. It’s just the most consistent character, with the best week to week promos he ever has had in his career. Just the big dictionary egotism is wonderful!!
S: I love this character too, taken inspiration from the Anton Chigurh character from No Country For Old Men, a finger on the pulse move from Jericho here. Every week comes out in the suit, tells the crowd to be quiet repeatedly, calling them parasites and hypocrites. He’s just so good at this time period.
JT: He’s had many different character rebrand and changes over the years, but this is the best one. After less than year back, he could already tell that what he was doing was stale and going nowhere, he couldn’t just be 2000 Chris Jericho again but in 2008. So he only turned it into what is the strongest main event run of his career. Like I don’t think there’s been another period in his career where he’s been booked as strongly at the top of the card, while having as good promos and as good matches consistently. Well fucking played Jericho.
S: Yeah it’s the best thing he could’ve done for his career, he’s booked at there or near the top of the card for a good two years after his heel turn. In the build up, you gotta love Jericho being so much of a heel that he banned his own son from watching wrestling after hearing that his son’s favourite wrestler was John Cena. BRILLIANT!
JT: We need more wrestlers incorporating their kids into their stories. Not necessarily on a Sandman/Dominik Mysterio level, but definitely on this sort of level or Mick Foley’s Cane Dewey level.
S: Agreed, it’s always an effective plot point to build a story in wrestling.
JT: Like it always adds a neat extra layer, plus they’re a kid? Nobody actually knows them, they don’t have to actually show up, and you can just make it up out of thin air.
S: I wonder if that kid allowed to watch wrestling today?
JT: I mean he’s like 12 years older now, so I’m gonna assume that old Dad2J doesn’t have a lot of control over what his kid watched anymore
S: Probably has an influence in his political views but that’s neither here nor there. Shall we get into the bulk of this World Title match?
JT: Yes let’s begin. Chris Jericho is looking to capture the WHC for the 3rd time this year, after losing it to John Cena at Survivor Series, while Cena is looking to hold onto the title, after not having won one since his torn pectoral ended his WWE Title reign in 2007. Big lock ups early, with lots of intensity, and Jericho getting a big knockdown, and then quickly going to work with stomps after Cena attempts a drop down trip. Big kick to the gut, giving Jericho a second to hot dog, only for Cena to take him down, as Jericho bails, with Cena in hot pursuit. Cena beats him down on the floor, but when Cena throws Y2J back in, Jericho takes control again, and the crowd is so hot for the swinging momentum back and forth. Jericho gets a Sleeper, Cole emphasizing the previously injured neck. He really has it in tight, choking him for minutes at a time, until Cena powers up with him on his shoulders for the FU only for Jericho to turn it into a DDT. With Cena rolling to the apron, Jericho goes for the Triangle Dropkick, Cena catches him on his shoulders out of the air, but Jericho slips free and slams him with a bulldog off the apron onto the stairs!! I’ve never seen that counter before by Cena, and then Jericho’s counter was just as good!!
S: The counter wrestling on display with these two lads was really something to just mark out over, just seems to be a real theme on this show where there’s simply fantastic counter wrestling.
JT: I feel like what makes the counters work so well tonight is that they are executed smoothly. I think a problem that happens often is that guys go for counters because they seem spectacular, but in actuality they’re difficult to really pull off and then they end up sloppy. In my opinion, when you’re doing a counter you need to first see that it is actually feasible and if what you’re doing fits into the story. That’s what this one did well. It asserted Cena’s strength, that after everything he still was strong enough to almost get the move that could put Jericho away, only for Jericho to counter and attack the head and neck again.
S: I really like that Jericho is targeting the head and neck because of the fact that Cena just came back from a neck injury the previous month, it’s simple yet so vicious.
JT: Yeah of course someone as ruthless as Jericho wouldn’t miss an easy target like that. And he’d have extra motive too! After all, aside from his son being a Cena fan, Cole brings up how Cena got Jericho fired way back in 2005. Eric Bischoff wanted Cena out as Champion, Jericho was his choice to do so, and when Jericho couldn’t do that he got axed. So of course, he’d love to not only beat Cena like he failed to do back then and a Survivor Series, but he’d love to put him out as long as possible. He might have been too eager to hurt him though, as he accidentally rams himself into the post, allowing Cena to get Shoulder Block, Shoulder Block, Protobomb, and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. 3 of 5 Moves of Doom Down. He goes for the 4th, but as Cena goes for the FU Jericho rolls him down to the mat for the Walls of Jericho, only for Cena to just throw him off powerfully. Jericho charges back at him, the franchise of WWE hits a Shane Douglass like Belly to Belly Suplex, but only for a 2 count. Jericho pulls himself up in the corner, Cena charges back in only to get a boot then a Missile Dropkick from Jericho!! 1-2-Kickout!! Cena swings momentum back again as he hits a Hip Toss, a Clothesline, then goes for the Throwback but Jericho stays on his feet as Cena crashes to the mat, allowing him to hit a beautiful Lionsault!! 1—2—Kickout!! Sadly with age and all that comes with it, Jericho’s Lionsaults have become less frequent and less picturesque over time, but man I forgot just how good he still was at them, even in 2008 when he’s toned down the speed and flying!
S: Yeah I actually completely forgot how spritely Jericho still is at this time because I always associated trunks Jericho with him gradually slowing down but man, he can still fly about like he’s still in 2003.
JT: Jericho’s just at peak performance in 2008. And as such, the crowd is split with Y2J/No chants. Jericho puts Cena up top, Cena counters the Superplex, dropping him face first and following up with the Diving Leg Drop for a 2. Then he goes to finish Jericho off for the third time, hoisting him up for the FU, and tosses him, only for Jericho to land on his feet this time!! Cena turns, AND ATES A CODEBREAKER!! He caught him flush!! He covers, 1——2——Kickout!!! Jericho is pissed, he can’t believe he didn’t win off that!! He furiously charges back at Cena, who scoops him and hits the FU!!! He cannot make the cover immediately because of the Codebreaker, only barely able to top him for 1—2—Kickout!! Talk about a great counter by Jericho, and damn what a smooth FU by Cena!
S: This is just the part where the match *incoming Rick and Morty reference* kicks into twelfth gear. That counter from the FU into the Codebreaker was just beautiful, makes me wish that he was still using it as his finish because let’s be honest here, the Judas Effect is a bit meh.
JT: Yeah I’m sure he does the Codebreaker less because he doesn’t have to bump on his back for the Judas Effect, but he’s not big enough to make it seem physically like a finisher, the way Big Show’s WMD makes sense, and he also doesn’t do it fast enough to make it look effective like Andrade. Jericho splits the middle where it doesn’t make sense as a finisher and it doesn’t even look like a finisher. Meanwhile the Codebreaker, man it brought back that time of move in western wrestling. I know Lungblowers had been a thing before Jericho, but aside from Carlito nobody did anything like that and now you can see all sorts of that stuff on the indys.
S: Yeah when you think about it, it’s the first time Jericho really had a solid finisher where you had to pin the opponent. I know he had the Lionsault but honestly, that’ll always be recognised as a signature move in my eyes, sorry.
JT: That too!! The Lionsault was always cool but always felt more flashy than impactful. The Breakdown….well the less said about the Breakdown the better. I mean he always had the Walls but like if you’re a heel, especially a heel like Jericho was for most of his career, you can’t exactly tap out the top good guys. He just had to cheat for most his wins, and while that’s fair, giving him the Codebreaker allowed him to get big pinfall wins really like he had never done before as a heel. Like, did Jericho have any big clean wins as a heel before the Codebreaker? Because he sure had a lot afterwards.
S: None that spring to my mind anyways, it was usually The Walls or just straight up cheating. The Codebreaker was the perfect move for Jericho at the right time.
JT: Less we forget Jericho’s most powerful move: cheating, presumably with a chair or title belt, then the Walls.
S: And of course, The Breakdown. Speaking of breakdowns, should we finish the breaking down of this match?
JT: Very slick of you, and yes let’s finish this off. So after Jericho kicked out of the FU with a delayed pin, both men are still beat. The ref has to administer a 10 count, and after 5-6 Cena finally gets up, and as he hobbles over to Y2J, Jericho pulls him into a Small Package!! 1—2—Kickout!! Cena gets up and misses a clothesline, Jericho misses an Enziguri, Cena hold his leg and goes for the STF but can’t get it on the slippery Jericho, and as he tries to pull him back towards the center to apply it, Jericho rolls him up and turns that into the Walls!! He has it in good, but Cena still has the strength advantage, pulling them both towards the ropes, only for Jericho to pull him back into the center!! Even with his signature hold applied, Cena is still too long as he pushes himself off the mat, rolls over onto his back, before bringing Jericho down to the mat and turns him over into STFU!! He’s got it in snug, and unlike Cena, Jericho can’t bear the pain of the submission and taps off!! John Cena retains the World Title!!
S: Not gonna lie man, I thought this match fucking ruled, these two just worked exceptionally well with one another, the counter exchanges and reversals shown in this were just immense. Absolute barnstormer in my eyes. Jericho is still an elite performer at this stage, Cena has always been great and would get even better in the coming years. That enziguri reversal from Cena when he put him in the STFU made me flip out, one of the spots of the match, the submission exchanges at the end of it. Just brilliant, I recommend you guys check this one out if you have not already. It’s a good one.
JT: Couldn’t agree more. I knew coming into this that Cena would win, and that it was pretty much the end of Jericho’s stellar late 2008 run. Cena just came back at Survivor Series, beat him, beat him here, and then by WrestleMania Jericho was fighting legends while Cena was in the main event. So I didn’t have high expectations for this one, I just expected typical Cena main event match where he gets worked over, only steamroll his opponent and win. Like, really until 2011, I’d say that a lot of Cena’s Main Event match went like this, take Royal Rumble 2006 vs Edge for example. Like though we all know Cena is great in the ring now, his first 6ish years of his career he was kind of dodgy in ring and honestly, I feel people overlook that. But not to shit on him too much, you have matches in that period like this, like his match vs Umaga at RR2007, like at WM23 vs HBK. He still knew what it took to make great matches, it just took a bit to really smooth the edges and perfect his style. This was a great match, and I’d argue one of the most underrated of both guys careers. Like Seán, can you ever recall anyone talking about this match?
S: Honestly man, I really can’t recall anyone talking about this one all that much, I’d seen it as a kid and all that, I liked it because Cena won and that was it. This is an absolute hidden gem in the catalogues of both men’s great wrestling matches. This was just brilliant, massive credit for both men in this match for having their working boots on because they worked their socks off here. Class stuff.
JT: Absolutely. They could’ve phoned it in, considering this was just a Title rematch from the show before and now their sequel was for a B PPV, but they did a great job. Big double thumbs up.
S: Absolutely, I now wanna go and watch their first match from Survivor Series and see if it’s as good as this one because my memory is hazy of that match and that show in general. That’s how good this was.
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Hardy Holiday Party
JT: Well just like that, we’re on to our main event! It’s the reason we’re here!! We’ve got Jeff Hardy, facing Triple H, facing WWE Champion Edge with his WWE Championship. And boy do we have a complicated story going into this one don’t we?
S: Complicated is an understatement to be honest with ya. It’s a tangled web that we weave today.
JT: I say first we set the context for the Triple H vs Jeff Hardy rivalry, which was really the story of SmackDown where Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels was the story of Raw over the Summer.
S: It really was, these two lads were the two driving forces on SmackDown while Edge was taking a hiatus following his feud with Undertaker concluding.
JT: Basically, after being drafted to SD in June, Jeff spent the rest of the year trying to prove me belongs on that main event level, that he could be WWE Champion. Yet again and again, he came up short. He couldn’t win the title in the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven, he went one on one with Triple H for the Title at No Mercy but came up short, and the same results happened at Cyber Sunday. Triple H was not afraid of Jeff, he just didn’t think Jeff had the skills to beat him, and time and time again he was proven right. Still Jeff wouldn’t give up, and again he qualified for a WWE Championship match at Survivor Series. And this, this is where Edge enters the picture.
S: So Jeff was ruled out of a triple threat match against Trips and Kozlov after he was attacked backstage by a mystery assailant, Triple H and Kozlov would stink up the joint before Vickie Guerrero would make an announcement that HE is here!
JT: That’s right!! He’s here!! He’s here, HERE HE IS!!! But of course to the disappointments of the fans, the “he” she was referring to wasn’t Jeff Hardy like they thought, but her kayfabe husband Edge!! After the seeming destruction of La Familia back in August, Vickie & Edge was worked things out and Edge came down fresh as a daisy with the title on the line. However, before he could put the match away, out came Jeff Hardy!! He’d been replaced, but he wouldn’t let the obvious culprit Edge get away with his crimes! But in his effort to stop Edge, Jeff struck Triple H with a chair to the face, got a Spear from Edge, and Edge pinned Triple H to win the WWE Championship for the 3rd time. Now driven even more, you have Jeff chasing the title and revenge, Triple H fighting to keep a title he unfairly lost, and Edge trying to do what he does best and hang on by any means necessary. It’s complicated, but man is it good!!
S: It really is, the man who got screwed out of his title match last month gets the chance for revenge and immortality. Will Jeff’s near 15 year odyssey be fulfilled here tonight? Will Edge slither away with the win again? Or is it just Triple H’s match to win?
JT: So before the match, first we get a promo from Jeff, where he says he’s been forced to look inward, questioning if he’s willing to change. Everyone says he’ll just screw up and fail again, and that everyone wants him to break him but he’s broken his own walls down. Does Jeff have what it takes? Is Jeff willing to change? He is who he is, Jeff Hardy, WWE Champion. We also get a backstage segment with Edge, Vickie & Chavo in Vickie’s office. Edge quickly departs because he has to get ready for his match, and with only himself and his Aunt in the room, Chavo asks Vickie how they got Jeff taken out at his hotel room the night before Survivor Series 2008. He tells her she can trust him, they’re family, she can fill him in and he won’t tell a soul. Yet, she insists on Edge’s story that they didn’t coordinate an attack on Jeff, and then makes him go make her a coffee. Another part of this story is something I’ll fill y’all in from the video package, which is that Jeff confronted Triple H to see if he did it and Triple H said Jeff isn’t even a big enough threat on his radar to warrant that attack. Over the course of the night, WWE hosted a Text Poll, asking the fans who they thought was responsible for attacking Jeff. Just before the main event, they give back the results, with 7% saying HHH did it, 6% saying Kozlov did it, and an overwhelming 65% thinking Edge was responsible, although another 23% voted “other”. I gotta say, I really liked how they set this angle up, like all signs point to it being Edge. It’s exactly in his wheelhouse to do, and he benefited the most from Jeff’s attack, but he still remained adamant that he didn’t do it. Obviously, most people wouldn’t take Edge at face value, but then again, isn’t he the type to brag if his plan worked as intended? And Triple H says he didn’t do it, but he’s done similar things before, how do we know it wasn’t him reverting to his old ways to try and keep his Title?
S: Yeah it’s really set up well, they make a case for Trips and Edge being well capable of doing it, Kozlov? Who gives a shit but should we quickly shed light on who the original assailant was supposed to be?
JT: Yeah, so if you were a savvy Internet Fan, you would actually know who the assailant is already. Edge winning the Title as Jeff Hardy gets attacked, without Edge’s knowledge? Well the culprit was originally planned to be a man who had spent the last 3 years dishing out some Total Nonstop Action. It’s…it’s Christian. That’s right, by late 2008 his glorious TNA run was finally coming to a close. At Victory Road 2007, Christian’s 23 month unbeaten streak came to an end at the hands of Samoa Joe, and he really spent the next year trying to get the TNA/NWA Title back but never managing it. In November, Christian lost a match and was forced to join the newly former Main Event Mafia, only for MEM to beat him down instead of inducting him, writing him off for good. His TNA contract expired, Christian was the one originally penned to take the role of Jeff’s mystery attacker. But sadly, this would not come to be, as dammit, us smart marks were just too smart, and with fans starting to actively wait for his return, they went to plan B.
S: Them changing because the “Internet Fans” figured it out is the most Russo in WCW shit ever, fuck me, why not just go through with it?
JT: I don’t get it either. Like it’s 2008, obviously the internet and internet wrestling news is getting more traction than it used to, but it’s still a small minority of fans. I think it’s just Vince. As has been well documented, Vince just doesn’t like the Birdman’s face, he’s always thought that Christian didn’t have a money making face. Christian was driven to TNA because of WWE’s failure to capitalize on his momentum when he was hot in 2005, and my conspiracy theory is that Vince got cold feet about pushing Christian so prominently that they used the fact that the story leaked or was reduced online as a way to back off on it and instead maroon him on ECW’s Island of Misfit toys.
S: That’s a well realistic theory not gonna lie, it seems likely too that Vince probably didn’t feel like Christian was worthy of such a high profile Mania match and programme with Jeff in 2009.
JT: So instead, we end up with the infamous “What about my Dog” feud between Matt & Jeff at WM25, which admittedly hooked me as a dumb 9 year old Jeff Hardy fan, and does have decent matches at WM25 & Backlash 09, though I still feel like having Christian return and have a big heel run would’ve been great.
S: It would’ve been much better than the ‘What about my Dog?’ feud, that’s for sure.
JT: Honestly yeah, just because Matt was having the most consistent run of his career as a face, so the heel turn was very sudden and he was also stuck on ECW and couldn’t immediately go into his feud with Jeff. Plus, Christian is a great talker, easily better than both Matt & Jeff, and he could’ve carried the mic work in their storyline.
S: In short, the feud would’ve been much more interesting than what we got. James, is it time to take this one over the finish line?
JT: Well before we break down the match, I just want to talk about each guy’s gear. Triple H is just in standard Triple H black and white, nothing much to say there. Edge is likewise in black and white, although his black and white tights are a bit more special, with his typical Rated R Star and his awesome black coat. Fun fact: that cost is also like 25 pounds or something like that. I remember reading WWE magazine around WM25 time (remember magazines?) and WWE’s gear maker person was talking about which gear was heaviest and Edge’s big coat was up there, along with John Morrison’s big red coat. Oh, and and Edge is clean shaven here tonight, which is kind of a shame since he looks badass with a beard and he never really rocked that look at all until his recent comeback in 2020, aside from very brief periods like right after he came back in 2008 and 2010.
S: Yeah I always associate Edge having the big bushy beard as his post injury comeback beard, proper hockey player look he had.
JT: Oh that’s a good one!! It’s also a real “Vikings on SyFy” look if you catch my drift. But now the real point of bringing this up is to talk about Jeff and his face paint, because I have a spicy take: I don’t like his face paint here. I just don’t think it’s any good. Now his hair looks pretty good, it’s not the proper bright pink it was a Survivor Series, but it’s still good. But his face paint? It’s like a It’s like a weird black/orange/white thing is, the orange isn’t a bright orange so it doesn’t stand out a lot against the black and white, it’s like a sickly shade that just makes him look like he’s unwell if you ask me. I get he probably wants to fight the Apocalypse theme of the show, but considering the result of this one, I say if there was ever a night for Jeff to rock real bright, dynamic colors that just pop, tonight would’ve been the night.
S: Yeah I always had a bit of a gripe with his facepaint around this time because it was very hit and miss at times to be honest, nowadays his facepaint is fucking incredible looking every show he’s on but here, it’s meh and should’ve been better but that’s the smallest nitpick.
JT: Yeah he’s improved leaps and bounds as an artist if you ask me, but that’s not what’s important here. So, that’s all the lead up I’ve got, are you ready for our main event?
S: In the words of Reggie Fils-Aimé, my body is ready.
JT: The bell rings and Jeff immediately jumps on Edge, HHH goes after Edge too, but Jeff is just all over both of them, knocking them both down and just running wild early on. He piles HHH & Edge in a corner, hits a big splash on both of them, then HHH ducks down in pain and Jeff uses him to hit Poetry in Motion onto Edge!! Jeff sends HHH to the floor, goes for a Plancha but Edge yanks him back down to the mat. Still, Jeff manages to fight back and throw Edge out of the ring, then goes to hit a Plancha on both of them but HHH moves and Jeff only lands on Edge, allowing, HHH to run him over with a clothesline and send him intothe barricade. HHH sends Edge back in but gets cut off getting back into the ring with Edge starting to work him over. Tri starts his comeback with a High Knee, he hits the Knee Smash Facebuster, goes for the Pedigree on Edge but Jeff hits him from behind. Jeff sends HHH across, Knee Smash to him, and then he goes for another Pedigree attempt on Edge again, only for Jeff to fly in with Whispers in the Wind!! Jeff gets sent into the corner, he tries Whispers in the Wind again, but Jeff slips on the ropes and gets caught on top. Edge goes up after him, but HHH picks him up in an Electric Chair right as Jeff regains his footing, allowing him to leap off the top with a Doomsday Whisper in the Wind onto Edge!! He covers, 1–2—Triple H breaks it up!! Already I just want to point out, these guys are doing something that I think the best Triple Threats do, and that’s utilize the space of the ring. I think we can both agree the worst 3 Way matches are ones where it’s just a singles match, the third guy interrupts, throws one of them out, and goes back to one on one action. These guys meanwhile are always fighting, occasionally one on one, but it’s always with spacing in mind. Edge may be down while HHH & Jeff are fighting, but it’s done in a way that Edge can then come in from behind, or Jeff can suddenly jump in. And when they’re not doing that, they’re doing awesome 3 man spots like the Doomsday Device.
S: Gotta agree with you there, this is really the ideal triple threat booking that has gone into this. I was just delighted when I saw that they booked this like a proper triple threat and not the dreaded singles match booking in a triple threat.
JT: We’ll see more of that style as this goes on. So, Jeff goes for a Springboard Nothing but Triple H catches him with a boot, then tries to set up l the Pedigree, only for Jeff to reverse into a Slingshot that sends HHH off the turnbuckle face first!! He follows up with a signature Pendulum Dropkick in the corner, only for Edge to come from behind and hit the Edge-O-Matic for 2!! Edge retreats to the corner and starts to mark his target, charging forward for a Spear, only for Jeff to leapfrog and Edge to nail HHH with the Spear right into the corner!! That’s exactly what we talk about when we talk about spacing and actually using all 3 guys at once. From there Edge turns around only to get clotheslines out of the ring by Jeff, who grabs The Game and nails him with the Twist of Fate!! He goes up top, leaps off, and connects with the Swanton Bomb!! He got it!! He hooks the leg!! 1——2——Edge pulls Jeff out of the ring!! They brawl on the floor, Tri soon joining them, clearing off the announce tables and fighting all on top of them. HHH sets up the Pedigree through the Raw table on Jeff, but Jeff spins out and goes for the ToF, only for HHH to push him off, step aside and watch as Edge runs across the table, leaping and Spearing Jeff through the SmackDown announce table!! Holy fucking shit!!
S: What a fucking spot, perfectly involves all three men, a brilliant counter from Tri, reversing the ToF, ducking out of a spear and Jeff gets mauled with a spear through the table.
JT: Big ups to all three of them for managing to get that spot right. I mean getting 3 guys up on the announce tables at all can lead to some convoluted shit, but they managed to all be up there, all have something they were going for, and have it lead to an amazing spot. And even after all that, Triple H is still smart for being there, because he immediately grabs Edge to throw him in and try to finish him off. He sets up the Pedigree again, but Edge reverses and hits the Edgecution!! Edge lines him up for the Spear, charged but this time Tri counters with the AA Spinebuster!! HHH pulls him up, Edge can’t counter this time after the Spinebuster, as he hits the Pedigree!! He got it clean!! Jeff is done on the floor, Edge is out cold, the Game’s going to recapture his title!! He covers 1——2——Kozlov comes out of nowhere and he pulls HHH out of the ring!! As we’ve discussed, the booking in this match is strong, I think except for this part. What do you think of Big Vlad showing up and interfering in the main event?
S: It’s just one of their last stitch efforts of keeping him linked to the title picture, isn’t it? Like after No Way Out, that’s him forever gone out of the title scene.
JT: Yeah pretty much. He has like one match against Jeff after tonight that ends in a DQ, he has a couple squashes, he wins a Handicap against Triple H with Big Show, does nothing in the Rumble, does nothing in the Elimination Chamber at NWO 09, then he gets one last big win on SD when he beats Undertaker clean, but then almost immediately suffers his first pinfall loss to Shawn Michaels on Raw for the chance to fight Taker at Mania 25, then he loses to Undertaker in a rematch on SD, then it’s basically off to ECW for him. This is pretty much it for lad, and Matt Hardy comes out tonight at Armageddon to drag him into the midcard. Although, he does get one last big shot, as Jeff tries to climb up to the top for a Swanton on Edge, only for Vlad to push him off the top. But he and Matt then brawl to the back and it’s down to the people who matter most. Seán, let’s bring this one home.
S: It’s time to close this one out, dude.
JT: So Edge struggles to stand back up, HHH weakly gets back in the ring, only for Edge to turn and hit the Spear!! Again, it’s nobody but him and Tri in the ring, he covers, 1—-2—Kickout!! The Spear couldn’t do it, so Edge has to get dirty, as he goes over to the timekeeper’s area and gets gets two chairs. He puts a chair under Tri’s head, he’s setting up up the Conchairto, but as he raises his chair up, Jeff jumps on the apron, pulls it from him and hits him with the chair to the face!! Edge goes down, Jeff goes up top, but now HHH is back up and he crotches him on the top rope. Edge is still loopy from the Chair shot, allowing Triple H now to pick him up again, and again hit the Pedigree!! He can barely top Edge, but he does it!! He’s got the cover 1——2—— Jeff leaps in from off with the Swanton!!! He gets Edge flush, he sends Triple H rolling out of the ring, he gets the cover, 1——2——3!!! Jeff Hardy wins the big one!! From Daredevil to Champion, from Enigma to Icon!! After a year of chasing the title, he ascends to the top of the mountain tonight, his first World Title!! What a way to cap off the show and WWE’s Year!!
S: Easily one of the greatest moments, not just in WWE history but simply in wrestling history. The finish of Jeff just coming in from off screen with the Swanton, winning the match and being so overcome with emotion that he picks up a chair and throws it down. The straight up marvellous calls from Jim Ross here, it just reminds you of how fucking good he is or was rather. It should come to no surprise to anyone that I thought this match was excellent. A beautiful match which featured highs and lows for Jeff, the raised question of will Jeff win the big one and by god, he did it! A beautiful end for a year long story.
JT: Yeah it really is. I mean, he challenged for the Title at the Rumble in 2008, and has spent the whole time since then trying to get to the top, and he’s finally done it. And not only was the conclusion great, but the match was just great as a whole. Like we said, they used space really well, they had a bunch of chaotic, unpredictable spots, and the only downside really is the Kozlov interference that added very little. And if I had to nitpick, I could say that you didn’t need to have Jeff hit the Swanton earlier, because throughout the match they did a great job of having him come close to doing it but fail. Then again, him already hitting it made it even more unpredictable that he’d do it again to win. In the way, we get no more commentary as Jeff just celebrates to his awesome music and the amazing crowd reaction, climbing up the giant wreckage set to end the show, fucking excellent visual, and one last shoutout to his amazing No More Words Theme Song.
S: How did we not mention this before? An amazing theme song which believe it or not, was only used for just over a year.
JT: And apparently Jeff’s going to bring it back when fans come back, whenever that is. But at least the fans in Buffalo got to celebrate the Hardy Party on that glorious night in December, 2008.
S: We all know how badly WWE booked this title reign but this match, this win and the celebration more than makes up for it. A magnificent moment and a conclusion to a championship chase which started at Armageddon the previous year and climaxed with a Christmas time, massively emotional title win tonight. Amazing stuff.
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The Wrap Up
JT: With Jeff Hardy on top of the world is how we Close out of our only WWE pay-per-view review of this app. From here on out, things are only going to get bleaker for Jeff, so we better savor this holiday joy while it’s here. Seán, what did you think of this departure from our bread and butter of 2010 TNA?
S: I thought this was a very good show. A strong recommendation from me. The show started out whatever with Kozlov and Matt Hardy. Picked well up with Punk and Mysterio in a barn burner. Funlay and Henry was grand. Diva’s match, bluhhhhh. Batista and Orton, really solid match. Jericho vs Cena, fantastic match, really underrated and of course, the main event knocked it out of the park, the story the execution of the match and Jeff’s crowning glory at the end. Fantastic stuff. A brilliant show. Go out of your way to watch it, guys.
JT: Yeah like most shows you have some bad, but you skip the two bad ones and really you’re left with a damn good show. This was so much easier to watch than I expected. Batista/Orton was solid, Punk/Rey was as you would expect, the main event was great, but I was truly caught off guard by how good Cena/Jericho was. Again with the two involved I wasn’t expecting it to be bad, but man I was not expecting it to be as good as JT was. and Seán, I’m going to have to give the World Heavyweight Championship match my MOTY award for this show!
S: Gotta side with you on that one, this is a show which has a lot of good matches on this show. The four I previously mentioned were among those and the WHC match does steal the MOTN award for me. Just an excellent match. As for MVP, it’s none other than Jeff Hardy, this was just simply his show, it belonged to him and he went out on top. Feels good to give him an MVP award.
JT: Yeah normally I try to avoid having the same picks, but when there’s an overwhelming presence on the show, it’s hard to beat it. In past episodes that’s been the Motor City Machine Guns, but tonight it’s the Jeff Hardy show. This show’s legacy lives on the back of his big moment. It’s fitting that at least once during this Arc, he gets an MVP, he’s the reason we’re here after all. That said, we better buckle up because it’s rocky days ahead for poor Brother Nero. Our next episode sees him trying to recover from the ultimate blunder of Immortal at Genesis. He faces off against TNA Champion Mr Anderson, with the title hanging up above the Impact Zone, in a ladder match. On top of that, we’ve got Jeff Jarrett facing off against Kurt Angle one on one, we’ve got Bully Ray and Devon putting it all on the line in a Street Fight, as well as more Matt Hardy, more RVD, more Beer Money, more Knockouts action, and so much more!!
S: All that and more for our next episode, February 13th 2011, Against All Odds, on the Eve of Valentine’s Day, will the heart of the Antichrist be restored by winning the belt back or will it be heartbreak again for Jeff Hardy?
JT: Till then, this is a ta ta from me James!!
S: And a goodbye from me, Seán. We wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah and a Craaaaaazzzyy Kwanzaa!
JT: Happy Holidays everybody!! And remember that Big Train is still rolling down the line, but with like sleigh bells or something….Happy Holidays!!
