James: The legacy of the WWE will always be a long and complicated one. For every scandal and jackass to work for the company, for every bad thing they did to earn a quick Buck, there’s also decades of innovative ideas, exciting storylines, and extraordinary wrestlers. One such success is arguably the greatest gimmick show of all time. 30 Men, every man for themself, with 29 going over the top rope and both hitting the floor, leaving one winner left. Since its inception, it has been the talk of the wrestling world every January. And since we’re in between arcs, you the people decided that we should review a rumble!
Seán: Last month on the Tweet machine, funnily enough both James and I put forth our picks which were both from the same year! Great American Bash 2007 unfortunately finished second as there had to be a runner-up but never fear! The 2007 Royal Rumble is here! 20th Annual Edition, in San Antonio, Texas. We’re here at THA ALAMO and we’re waitin’ on ya!
————————————
Booting Up
JT: Helloooo and welcome back to the Power Hour!! We’ve got a bonus hour for you today, and I gotta say, even though my pick lost, I’m A-Okay with the choice you got opted for. Let’s be real, this is probably a better show than Great American Bash 07 is anyways. Marginally less Hornswoggle, plus we don’t have to sit through the Carlito vs Sandman PPV Match where both guys apparently tried to do as little work as possible.
S: I mean, low-key I was kind of hoping we’d get to do that show because man alive there were a lot of absolutely bonkers matches on that card. Singapore Cane on a Pole??? Dusty Rhodes vs Randy Orton in a Texas Bullrope Match? GREAT KHALI AS WORLD CHAMPION?! Basically, the show is a madness on paper, in the aftermath of the wrestling world’s most shocking real-life tragedy.
JT: Christ alive, I didn’t even consider that it was like, the second PPV after the Benoit tragedy? Let’s just avoid that cursed shit. Instead, let’s go to the second PPV of 2007, with New Year’s Revolution kicking off the year. Though it’s run was short, NYR was an important show every time it happened! 2005 saw it as the first (and thus far) only WWE PPV to happen in Puerto Rico while also having an elimination chamber key to Batista’s eventual evolution defection. 2006 saw the first ever Money in the Bank Cash in by Edge on John Cena, and in 2007, Triple H ruptured his quad during a Tag Title match with Shawn Michaels against Rated RKO, and John Cena dealt Umaga his first ever pinfall loss of his career. We will be seeing the fallout of NYR all over this show tonight.
S: It really was a show which did have a good, yet short run while it lasted. One of my earliest memories as a fan is being shown a VHS which my brothers taped on our old Sky Digital TV Box (pre Sky Plus) which gave us the original live Sky Sports broadcast of the show. Great memories I’ve got of that show really but tonight, there’s some scores that need to be settled from NYR.
JT: We go to our opening video package! For 20 years, the road to WrestleMania begins here, they enter with a dream and leave with a legacy, as they take their passion to wrestlemania. Who will seize the dream? Tonight is the most star studded ruble ever! There will be no escape for Mr Kennedy as he takes on World Champion Batista. Meanwhile, in ECW’s first ever Rumble appearance, the impact player Test takes on the ECW Champion Bobby Lashley. Finally, it’s Last Man Standing, and John Cena never backs down from a fight, damned if he will tonight. But is that a smart decision? After all, the vicious Samoan Bulldozer Umaga put him through a table with a top rope splash on Raw! According to Armando Estrada, there is no way Cena walks out as Champion. Brought to you by Raw, SD & ECW, it’s the 20th ever Royal Rumble! We get a dirty, nasty, dubbed over theme song on Peacock, playing in the background as we are introduced to our commentators. Good Old JR Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler for Raw, who will be the last man standing, who will seize their dream? For SmackDown, it’s Michael Cole alongside the Wrestling God John Bradshaw Layfield, who only joined commentary back in June 06. They say lights are bright, stars will be made. And finally, from WWECW, it’s Joey Styles and Tazz, who talk about how there are Extremists in the Rumble this year, and how the ECW Title defended at the Rumble for the first time. So we’ve got a lot to unpack just from the opening minutes, what do you want to get into first?
S: Well I think a good place to start off is that I like how this Rumble card has each main brand’s World Title being defended on this show. When you first look at the card on paper, there’s absolutely no faff on it whatsoever. Yeah you could argue that the ECW Title match with the two muscle men is a bit of a nothing match but it should be given some sort of a spotlight considering that an ECW guy could possibly win the Rumble and challenge for the belt. Three feckin commentary teams too, it most certainly must be 2007. Aside from those small notes, I must tell you that I have got some facts and figures AND a pop culture rewind from this time in January 2007!
JT: Yeah I will just quickly say, with the 3 brand approach, I love keeping it simple. You already have the Rumble taking up an hour, stick to the essential stuff, the main players who will be involved at Mania. In a 2 brand situation like we have now, ideally you’d just do each brand’s World Titles for the men and women, and then the two Rumbles. But WWE loves filler nowadays, so we get so much shit. But that aside, I’d love to hear some facts and figures!
S: The 2007 Royal Rumble! 20th annual edition. Taking place on the 28th of January 2007, in front of a sellout attendance of 13,500 at the AT&T Centre (Center) in San Antonio, Texas, home of the San Antonio Spurs who would go on to win the NBA Championship that year. This show also had a live gate of $780,000. This show generated 525,000 PPV Buys worldwide, which is down 60,000 buys from the previous year. It is also the third highest buy-rate of the year for WWE, coming behind SummerSlam’s 545,000 and WrestleMania 23’s absolutely whopping and then record-breaking 1,250,000 PPV buys worldwide.
JT: So though it might be down from the year before, a Big 4 PPV did Big 4 things and got people’s money. Also speaking of the Spurs, now that’s an American sports franchise that doesn’t get as much shine as others have, internationally speaking. Not only would they get a title later in 07, but that would be their 2nd title in 3 years, after beating the defending Champion Detroit Pistons in 05. That would be their 4th Championship since 1999, after the legendary coach Greg Popovich took over in 1996. Since 07, they’ve only gone on to make 2 more finals and win one more. At the time of writing, Pop is only 10 wins away from breaking the all-time coaching wins record, and is only one of 5 coaches to ever coach 5 Championship teams. I know there are some other Spurs outside of the US, but San Antonio’s only pro team is the best of the bunch.
S: That’s exactly what I thought when researching them! Like how do you win five NBA Championships under the same coach in fifteen years and not get talked about in the same light as the other great teams which get talked about over here? Even when I first started becoming familiar with basketball in 2011 or 2012, they were always propped up as one of the big boys. I feel like time will be kind to them as a franchise though in terms of getting international followings, much like the Chicago Bulls team of the 90s.
JT: I think the thing with the Popovich Spurs is that their best player wasn’t flashy like a lot of the best players are. Jordan, Lebron, Shaq even going back to the likes of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were known for their ridiculous plays and over the top personalities. Meanwhile, the Spurs were led by arguably one of the greatest center/power forwards of all time, Tim Duncan. And what was he known for? He just kept his head down and did what was asked of him. He was never a big trash talker, he was never a part of narratives, he was just the greatest soldier Pop had for all 19 years Tim was in San Antonio. Real fans recognize, Spurs fans definitely recognized, but if you’re not a huge basketball fan you might not know the name, and you should.
S: Tim Duncan is definitely a name which rings a bell but basketball has always been a sport which I’ve yet to crack into and probably get behind. If you put it on in front of me, I’d definitely watch it but with all the other sports I do follow, finding space for a new one can always be tricky.
JT: Yeah let’s be real, we’re in the age of content. We’ve got TV, we’ve got movies, we’ve got video games, we’ve got YouTube, we’ve got podcasts and music and all the different genres within all those different varieties. Keeping up with more sports on top of everything else, it’s tough. You’ve really got to pick and chose nowadays, there will always be something you’re missing out on that someone else loves. Wrestling included. I’m sure there’s loads of wrestling we both miss out on just because we gotta put time aside to watch Power Hour shows!
S: Exactly, with all I watch in general as well as stuff for this show, I barely have time for a lot of modern wrestling aside from Dynamite, the very occasional episode of Rampage and PPVs. As well as a lot of TV shows and movies too.
JT: Now on the topic of other media, do you know what the original theme song for this show was? Do you know who was the casualty of WWE going “fuck it we can’t pay for even more royalties” when hoping from the Network to Peacock?
S: Well funnily enough, James. This wasn’t just a Peacock thing, it was dubbed on my WWE Network too! Following a quick research to see who did the theme and I can’t believe this, I literally predicted in my head that this band were the theme song providers for this show. The song was actually “Drones” by Rise Against. Sweet mid-2000s reliable WWE bands.
JT: Rise Against was one of my go to bands during high school, and this was the song that introduced me to them! Not because I was around for this show obviously, but when you’re 9 and looking for every bit of WWE you can get your hands on, you start going backwards, and that’s how I got to this song! Fun enough, I didn’t watch the actual show until years later, but I knew the song! So good marketing for Rise Against I suppose.
S: Well how about that! A lovely coincidence that is. Funnily enough, of all the bands I’ve listened to through wrestling, I don’t think I’ve ever really listened to any of Rise Against’s music.
JT: Hey of all the various rock groups WWE used during the 2000s, some of which could be pretty questionable, Rise Against are definitely one of the best bands to get the platform. I would recommend it, if you’re into that type of music anyways. So with that out of the way, is there anything else we want to address or talk about before we get into the action on this show?
S: Well I was going to a brief Pop Culture corner to see what was going on in the world of January 2007 if we have time for that? I’m
JT: Well since we don’t have a grand overall arc to talk about, let’s just go for it! Whatcha got for us from the world of pop culture?
S: Alright so first we will start off in the world of Movies, what were the number one singles in the music charts around this time? Well in the UK it was “Grace Kelly” by Mika which is a great song. In Ireland, 2006 X-Factor Winner Leona Lewis was still top of the charts with her winning single, a cover of Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This”. And in the US Billboard Hot 100, Beyoncé herself was sitting atop the musical throne with “Irreplaceable”. Are you familiar with any of those songs, James?
JT: I’ll be honest, I don’t think this is a section I’ll score very high on. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the Beyoncé song, and maybe the original Kelly Clarkson song, but I’m not familiar at all with the acts across the pond.
S: So I have the complete opposite opinion to you because all these songs are familiar to me, mainly due to the fact that these songs would always be on the music channels at this time and at the time, all six of my siblings would’ve been listening to these songs on the Now That’s What I Call Music CDs back in the day. Now would you like to hear what the number one hits at the movies were at this time?
JT: Oh absolutely, tell me what was happening in the cinema around this time!
S: Alrighty so the big hitters at the box-office in terms of movies at this stage, January 28th. So in the UK it was Rocky Balboa/Rocky 6! Fucking great movie which really gave the Rocky franchise a new identity and helped set up the two Creed movies nicely in terms of it’s presentation. In the US and I’m fucking embarrassed for America here, it was Epic Movie. Basically a giant parody of all the blockbuster hits from 2005-2006 all mashed into one giant pile of shite. An awful, awful movie. Honestly one of the worst of all time, seriously, I’m not joking.
JT: Oh lord, the late 00s parody movies were some incredibly bad movies. Not only were they not clever and not funny at the time, with punchlines basically being whatever was big in pop culture at the time of writing the movie (let alone releasing it in theaters), but that just means they aged like a glass of milk on a summer’s day. Absolutely horrific effort by America. I know January typically isn’t a great month for movies stateside but Jesus Christ.
S: And this was in the midst of the long and dark years of terror which these parody movies were coming out. Like from the late 90s up until about 2015 or thereabouts. We had all five from the Scary Movie franchise, Superhero Movie, Epic Movie, Date Movie, Disaster Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, Vampires Suck, Meet the Spartans. A fucking killer’s row of shit. The worst examples of parody movies.
JT: Oh god, Vampires Suck is EGREGIOUS. We all know the Twilight movies have gone down in infamy, but man, that movie is like if iFunny‘s collective edgy young boy announcer was tasked with making jokes about the franchise. You don’t have to love Twilight to hate Vampires Suck, I was a huge “I hate Twilight” kid at ages 9-13, but even I don’t look back fondly at the “Still a better love story than Twilight 😎” type jokes from that era.
S: Oh boy, talk about the types of jokes which just became super fucking annoying the more they were used. To move away from the US box office towards Ireland, well the files are missing on that one because we didn’t have those records until 2011.
JT: Sick, love that. What else do we have to discuss, video games of 07?
S: That and two other small snippets. So just two days after this event, the latest notable release in the video game world (at least to me anyways) was Sonic The Hedgehog 2006 for the PS3. Fucking yikes.
JT: Oh that Sonic franchise, what a history. Not a great history, but it’s definitely a storied one.
S: It’s a franchise which has seen so many ups and downs in the 21st Century, that’s for sure. So moving on to Sport! In the Australian Open in tennis, Serena Williams would defeat the all time tennis grunter Maria Sharapova in the Women’s Singles while Roger Federer retained his Men’s Singles title against Fernando Gonzalez. In hockey, the Montreal Canadiens retired the #29 jersey in honor of former goaltender, Ken Dryden. In football (soccer) the Fourth Round of the English FA Cup was played. No real shocks but I’ll tell you this much, Blackburn only went and beat Luton Town 4-0 so they did. Finally in American Football, Super Bowl 41 was played the week after this which saw the Indianapolis Colts defeat the Chicago Bears 29-17.
JT: That was the first Super Bowl I remember watching live! The game started with all time great kick returner Devin Hester becoming the first man in history to run back the opening Super Bowl kickoff for a Touchdown! That Bears team was hilariously commanded by Rex Grossman, one of the worst career QBs to ever make a Super Bowl, while the Colts finally got a ring for Peyton Manning, arguably the best QB ever. And though I was too young to recognize it, the Halftime Show featured a legendary performance by Prince, who closed out his act with Purple Rain in the midst of an actual downpour. Purple Rain in the fucking rain!! Fun stuff all around!
S: Hey I know Peyton Manning! Sky Sports have always done a fantastic job of promoting the NFL to us over in Ireland and in the UK because they’d always talk about it on their news channel and Peyton Manning was one of those players who I became familiar with through the news coverage on Sky Sports. That does sound like a truly fascinating final when you mention it given one of the greatest QBs of all time is on one team, while one of the worst QBs to ever make the Super Bowl is on the other. That Prince Halftime Show sounds pretty dope too, not gonna lie.
JT: Again my memories are fuzzy because I was 8 when this happened, but I believe the game itself was kind of iffy, considering the rain. But it’s definitely an interesting one, that’s for sure. Any more stuff for us to bring up for the cultural roundup?
S: My final cultural roundup is that the most recent Scrubs episode before this show aired on the 18th of January with Season 6 Episode 6’s “My Musical”, which is a phenomenal 22 minutes of TV by the way.
JT: Ohhh I’m not well versed in Scrubs, but is that a special musical episode??
S: It is! The episode’s plot is that there is a patient suffering with a psychological problem and so everything she sees happening around her is a musical. This episode alone received five Emmy nominations, winning one of them too. Would definitely recommend watching Scrubs.
JT: Sweet! I love me a good sitcom musical episode! Well that was a full time we’ve had here!
S: Indeed we have! It’s all been fun and games but I think it’s about time we get down to the meat of this episode, don’t you think?
JT: Agreed!
————————————
Joey Mercury’s Nose in Retrograde
JT: So on to our opening contest, and it’s a match that went completely unmentioned by the opening video and by our commentators. It’s a match featuring competitors from multiple brands. It’s the Hardy Boyz facing off against MNM!! And let’s be real, we all know why this match happened. Only that injury from Armageddon 2006.
S: Oh without a doubt, I mean this feud was probably going to be one and done at December to Dismember, then the injury to Joey Mercury happened at Armageddon so this has definitely given them reason to prolong the feud between these lads.
JT: I mean after Joey had his face crushed on live PPV, they kind of owe him at least one more PPV payday. Plus, this feud is also an extension of the Johnny Nitro/Jeff Hardy feud that had been running since pretty much September. IC Champ Nitro defended the title against Jeff at Unforgiven 06, lost it to Jeff in October, won it back in November only to lose it back the next week. A Ladder Match on Raw followed, then he fought Jeff by proxy at Survivor Series 06, had the December to Dismember tag match, then Jeff retained again at NYR when Jeff beat him in a Cage Match. Johnny also did some stuff against John Cena with K-Fed himself, Kevin Federline himself to break up the Jeff stuff over the months. I mean, Jeff & Johnny have good chemistry, but they did kind of run this pairing into the ground. They faced off in some capacity 14 times in just 2006, with this being their 3rd contest against each other in 2007!
S: Good god! So this is their 17th encounter together in the span of FOUR MONTHS? That’s just total overkill to be honest. As good as the matches we got were and how well they work together, it definitely is overdoing it to the max. To go back to the Joey Mercury injury for a brief second, it’s probably up there in the top three most horrible wrestling injuries, right?
JT: What’s the 3rd one you have in mind? Don’t get me wrong, tons of scary injuries have happened in the ring, but few are as gruesome as Mercury’s. The only other one that comes to mind for me is Sid’s infamous leg break.
S: Yeah, Sid’s leg break is definitely the second one that comes to mind. The third one is definitely one I’d have to think about, Foley losing his ear in Germany was pretty scary so that could be one of them.
JT: That’s definitely a bad one. And while we’re there, Vader’s eye popping out of the socket would’ve made the list if he hadn’t just popped it back in.
S: Oh god! I hadn’t thought about that one, that was pretty scary as well. Of course we should mention when Seth Rollins severed Rey Mysterio’s eye from out of his socket at The Horror Show FKA Extreme Rules. A truly gruesome moment which caused Rollins to violently regurgitate.
JT: Oh of course, a very scary moment that everyone totally remembers. So we’re only minutes into this show, with our competitors just being introduced, and Seán I’ve already got a nit to pick! Did you hear how Lilian introduced the nasty trio of heels?
S: I did, I did. She called them “The team of Mercury, Melina and Nitro. MNM!”. For god’s sake, Lillian! It’s in the wrong damn order, they’re MNM, not MMN. This is like when Howard Finkel would call Edge and Christian, “Christian and Edge”.
JT: Exactly! How are you gonna say the name wrong? And just on the subject, MNM? Fun team name, good gimmick, nice trio! And honestly, one of the best tag team entrances at least of this era, if not ever.
S: Oh it’s a real humdinger of an entrance, isn’t it? I mean it’s just perfectly choreographed every time I see it again. The red carpet, the paparazzi, the gear, the choreography from the three of them and Melina doing the splits to a huge pop. The crowd knows who they like anyways, that’s for sure.
JT: She gets one of the biggest pops of the night, although the pop for Matt and Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy is pretty decent. So aside from the past matches, this match has additional buildup to it. So Nitro came over from Raw to attack Matt on SmackDown, hitting him with a Snapshot DDT onto the concrete floor! That means his jaw is hurting in this one. I think Matt should be out of action after taking a Tag finisher on the concrete floor if you ask me but so be it!
S: Yeah honestly, this should be writing Matt off for a good few weeks of TV if you ask me but, especially considering the Snapshot is an Elevated Double Team DDT but sure look, it is what it is. Shall we get underway with our action for this evening?
JT: Let’s get into it! It’s Jeff & Johnny on Raw, Matt & Mercury on SD, guess which guys they think have potential? So Mercury baits Matt in and Nitro attacks from behind to start things off. Mercury in, hammering on Matt, JR already getting names wrong for the Hardy’s. Some things never change. So MNM attacked the jaw that got dislocated, with lots of punching and little else early. Jeff tags in and comes after the heels with a Mule Kick over the top! Oh, and since I didn’t put in my notes till now, shout-out to Jeff’s white guy dreads!
S: It’s a good look for Jeff, not many white men can pull off the dreadlock look and I say that as a white man myself but Jeff makes it work. Although, they could be braids like what Raven used to do. Either way, they look cool on Jeff.
JT: I know white guys with dreads can sometimes be culturally questionable, but hey, I know for a fact that everyone is down with Jeff Hardy. I mean, I’ve seen a TikTok video called “Top 5 White People of all time” and Jeff was up there along with Tony Hawk, Keanu Reeves, Willem Dafoe and Nardwuar the Human Serviette. The comments confirmed it too! Jeff Hardy is a king, if any white guy can get away with it, Jeff can.
S: Now that’s a definitive Top 5 if I’ve ever seen one. Esteemed company our guy Jeff Hardy is among there. Get me a Nardwuar interview with Jeff Hardy if there isn’t one out there already!
JT: So Jeff is in and getting his usual stuff in, as he ducks a shot, gets an Atomic Drop, and a Leg Drop to the dick as he yells “San Antonio!”. Matt comes in and they get Double Back Elbow, a Senton & Elbow combo, Classic Hardys stuff. Now it’s Matt’s turn as he works over Nitro, reversing a back body drop attempt with a swinging Neckbreaker. Unfortunately, Matt’s lingering jaw pain costs him as he catches a straight right hand, turning the match for MNM. Melina screaming gets boos back from the crowd. Jerry asks if it was a scream of joy, and JR says he hasn’t made a lot of women scream so he can’t say, fucking what?? Like if that’s JR saying he doesn’t have sex and/or doesn’t please his partners, why would you admit that? Or is he trying to say King makes women scream, which given his legal history, JIM DONT BRING IT UP!
S: THE POSSIBLE ORIGIN STORY OF HORNY JIM ROSS HAS BEEN DISCOVERED! Well it’s either that or Jim alluding to Jerry’s alleged sexual wrongdoings towards females…
JT: So moving on from that weird chat from Raw’s best, we actually get a pretty good short arm clothesline by Joey Mercury! Since we’re here and this is essentially his match more than anyone else’s from our POV, what do you think of Joey Mercury just in general?
S: I think Joey Mercury is a really good worker to be honest with you. He’s definitely someone who has usually been seen as a good hand for tag teams at this time, prior to MNM it was him and Christian York for a good few years. Most notably in ECW, he was definitely the right guy that Nitro had to learn from prior to Johnny getting his singles run. I think as a person, he’s had so many ups and downs over his career, some of which are more recent and it did really suck to hear it. I know Mercury was one of my friends’ personal favorites, part of his boy stable of course. All in all though, I do respect Mercury as a wrestler and as a character whilst he was part of J and J Security, they were absolutely brilliant. I think if it weren’t for his personal demons in 2006 and 2007, he probably would’ve kept a job for longer in WWE.
JT: Agreed. Not to cut the legs out from under this match, but Mercury would be out of WWE by March, and you gotta think that having your nose demolished by a ladder wouldn’t help with any already existing personal problems.
S: Exactly, having an injury that devastating happen to you whilst already having a litany of problems hanging over you just further fuels those problems. I’m pretty sure he’s only got a few more TV matches left in him after this too.
JT: I know he’s got one more PPV payday left, as MNM rides against Matt & Jeff one more time, but with Chris Benoit joining with the Hardys to go against MNMVP.
S: That’s a brilliant Tag Team name right there. More letters = more fun!
JT: So I’m gonna end our little detour there, as Mercury misses an elbow off Bret’s rope then gets a right hand from Matt as both their partners come. Jeff picks up the pace with a running sleeper slam, a Back Elbow and the Facebuster Suplex but Nitro kicks out at 2. Jeff scores with the Whisper in the Wind, but Mercury interrupts the count, only to get taken out by a Back Suplex from Matt. Matt & Jeff hit a Double Team Suplex then go to opposite corners (which gets a great reaction). They both leap off, but Nitro gets his knees up for the splash on Jeff, though he still gets caught with the Leg Drop from Matt. It wasn’t pretty for him but it got the job done as he was able to tag out while Matt had to go back to his corner. MNM attacks the mid section of Jeff, Jeff gets a nearfall off a cradle but Mercury pounces back on him after he kicks out. MNM with good team work as Mercury & Nitro hit a Double team Gutbuster on Jeff. Still, it’s not enough to put Jeff away, and they can’t keep him down for long. Jeff backdrops Nitro and heads to his corner, but Mercury distracts the ref as Matt tags in, canceling out the tag and allowing the heels to double team Jeff in the corner. We’ve already discussed that we like that sort of spot, but what do you think of having Matt get worked over first then Jeff later? How do you think this sort of match layout makes the match better, worse, no change? Indulge us with your wisdom about tag team match structure.
S: It’s definitely different, and outside of the box, that’s for sure. It’s something which you wouldn’t see a lot of in tag team matches but I do like the idea of it, it does get across that MNM are a really well oiled unit as a pairing because they can cut off the ring with both members. If the one who has been focused on makes the hot tag to their partner, you’d typically expect the tide of the match to change but they go back to square one and do it on the other guy. Really puts over Nitro and Mercury as this team that just knows how to win tag team matches.
JT: Yeah it does make them look smart doesn’t it? They know how to adapt on the fly, and Nitro learned from previous Hardys matches by expecting the splash. They’re a good team. Alas, Jeff Hardy is a special competitor and starts to build up momentum, as he shoves Mercury back into Nitro, making space, and allowing him to hit a Mule Kick and tag in Matt! Matt comes in on fire, big back Drop on Nitro, Back Elbow and Elbow Drop on Mercury, then a Clothesline into the Corner and he comes out of it with a Bulldog, smashing him down while also clotheslining his partner in one foul swoop! Standing Elbow to the back of Nitro’s head connects but Nitro kicks out at 2! Matt goes for a Backdrop, Nitro with the boot to the face allowing MNM to go for the Snapshot, but Jeff runs in and knocks down Nitro! They send Mercury into the corner, Poetry in Motion!! One more time on Nitro? No, Johnny moves out of the way of Jeff and cradles Matt!! 1–2—Kickout!! Oh man, I thought MNM were gonna steal the match for a second there!
S: Yeah that was a real good near fall not gonna lie. Definitely believable too because surely MNM would be owed to get a win back over The Hardyz after jobbing the fuck out to them frequently since November.
JT: Close, but no cigar for MNM. So, Nitro and Matt back up, he goes to whip Matt across, but Matt ducks under and gets the Side Effect!! Matt gets him up, and hits the Twist of Fate!! Mercury runs in and Matt tries to hit the TOF on him, but Mercury tackles Matt out of the ring, only for Jeff to tag Matt as he falls out of the ring with Joey! This allows Jeff to go up top, leap off, and score with a Swanton Bomb!! He hooks the leg, 1–2–3!! The Hardy brothers have defeated MNM again!! What did you think of this match?
S: I thought this opening contest was a decent affair to be honest with you. I thought at first that this match was underwhelming but having talked about it and realizing how smart of a team MNM looked in this match really changed my opinion on it slightly. I did struggle to get properly into it at the start and I don’t know why, maybe I set my expectations too high before watching or something. There were plenty of things I enjoyed, especially that finish! That finish was brilliant, Mercury sees an opportunity to disrupt the impending Hardy win so he pushes Matt out, which then Jeff sees an opportunity to interject. Quick thinking and securing the dub. Great finish!
JT: Yeah I thought the finish was pretty cool. I’m pretty neutral on everything else. It was all decent but none of it really blew me away. But considering this was just an opening match on one of the biggest shows of the year, I’m okay with a simple little warm up match.
S: Yeah I do feel the exact same way about this match. There’s nothing wrong with it, it was grand the way it was. A fine warm up match.
JT: We’re just getting warmed up, this is essential what modern pre-show matches are. Especially considering, well spoilers for later this episode, both Hardys show up in the Rumble. I think considering what it was, we gave it more than enough discussion, and I say it’s time we move on.
S: Absolutely and with this next match coming, the testosterone levels are going to be OFF THE HOOK!
————————————
Testing our Patience
JT: So up next is….well before our next match, we actually have a backstage segment. The first of 3! It’s Raw GM Jonathan Coachman, SmackDown GM Teddy Long and ECW’s resident exhibitionist Kelly Kelly here for the drawing of Rumble numbers! And just side note, Kelly is literally 20 here. Crazy to think she’s so young! And also, kinda weird that they took someone right at the legal limit and immediately threw her into being a sex object. Like, real siblings going “I’m not touching you!” while holding their finger an inch from your face type stuff. Like legally, nothing is wrong. But at the risk of sounding like a prude, it’s still kinda weird.
S: Yeah Kelly’s age at this time is a subject which a lot of podcasts have touched on whenever they have reviewed stuff from 2006. OSW have, AE Podcast probably have and How2Wrestling definitely did. It is very strange because when you think about it, she’s probably just out of high school or not long after her high school years because she was fricking 19 when she debuted. That’s younger than what I am now for fuck’s sake. Like I’m not going to deny she’s very pretty, she clearly is and always has been but like, being proper eye candy as soon as she debuted is a bit sus. Maybe they were aiming towards the poor teenage sods in high school at this time, who fucking knows.
JT: You hope they were, but let’s be real, they probably weren’t. Back to the actual segment, World Tag Champion Edge walks in, making fun of Kelly Kelly for having a dumb name. Of course, she retorts that at least her name is a real name. Ms Kettle got Mr Pot good with that one. Anyway, the other half of the World Tag Champions Randy Orton walks in, emphasizing how he threw Edge over the top rope last week on Raw. Royal Rumble, every man for himself, yadda yadda. They open their numbers but they do the old “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” joke they do every year, but it still gets a reaction from the crowd. King Booker appears just to say “tell me you didn’t just say that” joke. So there are 3 high profile members of our main event!
S: Yeah it’s a stacked Rumble in terms of main event guys, which I do appreciate and the marketing behind this Rumble is one which I definitely think we should have a discussion about later on. Edge had lovely hair in that beanie, that is where I hope my long hair journey will get to.
JT: That would be a trek of awesomeness if that happened. But from WWE lifers Edge & Orton, we go to the outcasts, the renegades, the extremists! For the first time ever at the Royal Rumble, the ECW Championship is on the line! It’s Test facing off against newly minted ECW Champion Bobby Lashley! Seán, I know when I think of ECW, I think of these two men.
S: Some say that these two men were instrumental in the rise of ECW. When you think of ECW, you think of the big muscle men who graced Philadelphia. Test, Lashley, Bob Holly, BRAKKUS, Dick Hertz. All the big men.
JT: The Zombie, don’t forget The Zombie!
S: Of course! Rene Dupree as well, Macho Libré, Big Zeke, Kozlov, Braden Walker. The list goes on and on really.
JT: So of course, WWECW is limping on, 6 months removed from RVD getting busted for drugs and killing his momentum, and only a month removed from the disastrous ECW PPV December to Dismember. Of course, the most notable match result to come out of that show was the main event, where Bobby Lashley bested Big Show in the Extreme Elimination Chamber to become ECW Champion. Now he’s got his first PPV title defense, and he’s going up against another big tough guy, that being Test.
S: You say big tough guy there, he is a big boy on this show. Good great fucking hell below he is monstrous, scarily jacked to the nines here. Bobby Lashley, liver enzymes hopefully lowered.
JT: Of course for all OSW followers, you’d know that this iteration of Test won the Roidy McGoo Award the year they reviewed December to Dismember, because he is just not healthy looking. Like he’s swollen and ballooning up with muscle, and unfortunately he’s got a back case of acne as well, roid acne as it’s become known. But that doesn’t seem to scare WWE. Honestly, Test’s career is kinda funny when you think about it. Like dude is pretty much in the same spot he was in back in 1999, a big tall scary dude who has the potential to maybe win a stepping stone belt.
S: And this was always Test’s position in the company too really. If he’s not in that impact player type role, he’s in a tag team with another guy who doesn’t have much going on. However, T&A were an underrated tag team if you ask me. Even here, they didn’t have much planned for him when they resigned him so just throw him on ECW, he’ll be grand they said.
JT: Yep. So how did he get here? We’ll Test says there is nobody in ECW more dominant than him. He says he’s been overlooked for an ECW Title shot even though he’s better than RVD and better than Lashley, after all he’s an impact player. So on ECW TV, the main event was an ECW Championship match between Test vs Lashley vs Rob Van Dam. At a critical juncture, RVD stood up top with both Lashley & Test down in the center of the ring. RVD decided to leap over Lashley to hit Test with a 5 Star Frog Splash, only for Lashley to get up, hit him with the Spear and a Powerslam RVD to retain his title. However, after the match, Test took the ECW Title belt and then nailed Lashley in the face with it. He says this is his title, and he guarantees he’ll be the next champion. Pretty standard stuff, except for the cool 5 Star spot.
S: That’s a spot which they’d always do with RVD in Triple Threat matches and it’s always a great spot helped by a brilliant tease. With Test being an impact player and that being his thing. They’ve always had some sort of catchphrase or buzzword for him to use during his career so that you remember he’s still there now that I think of it! I mean he first made his debut as a bodyguard for Mötley Crüe on Heat where he’d say “Test” on the vocalist mic like a roadie. There was him constantly saying he’s got immunity after winning the Immunity Battle Royal at the close of the Invasion, the whole marketing campaign with him and his then girlfriend, Stacy Keibler with “I love my Testicles”. Those were his fans by the way and here he keeps saying that he’s an Impact Player, as do commentary for that matter!
JT: Oh well he’ll be an “impact player” in not too long, if you catch my drift. But you know what doesn’t make an impact? His music. The crowd barely budged when his music hit. They do not care about Test and his remixed theme song. Lashley gets a pretty good pop though, and even gets the Brock Lesnar ring apron pyro spot! I didn’t realize he had that!
S: I guess this is where the whole “Black Lesnar” joke came from around this time really, isn’t it?
JT: Suppose so. So Seán, are you ready to see as Taz put it “The proud plus powerful” Champion Bobby facing off against the ultra intense and vicious Test, in his Randy Orton ass tights?
S: I most definitely am but first, did you catch any of Lashley’s titantron during his entrance?
JT: No I did not, what did I miss?
S: Alright so in his titantron video, with his music and highlights of him being a machine, we get to see the captions which read “HARD HITTING” and “SOFT SPOKEN”. That last one is also known as a paraphrase for that he’s got an ill-fitting voice and not very good at promos at this stage.
JT: Jesus, “soft spoken?”. I have never seen that applied to anyone in a “tough” way. I think being soft spoken is a nice thing, and is often a nice way to describe caring and sensitive people who take joy in hearing others rather than speaking to themselves. While that’s all good and nice though, that’s not exactly the kind of character you expect to be a Champion wrestler in WWE, let alone for ECW. Maybe in some sort of teen drama show you could have a soft spoken wrestler, but WWE in 2007 is very much not a match with “soft spoken” individuals.
S: There’s definitely some other phrase you can use to describe Lashley being a quiet but menacing guy as well. Not a good thing at all. Shall we get on with The Impact Player vs our SOFT SPOKEN ECW Champion?
JT: Let’s go! So after some initial grappling, Test backs Lashley back into the corner, and after breaking, he delivers a disrespectful slap to Lashley! And the Champ doesn’t take kind to it, immediately tackling the big Canadian and trying to lay the hurt on him. However, Test quickly turns things around as he ties him up to send him into the ropes and choke him against them. He hits big elbow strikes in the corner, but Lashley hits some big offensive manures of his own. Tazz happily calls a T-Bone Suplex by Lashley on Test, then Lashley displays his impressive strength as he delivers a Delayed Vertical Suplex. Lashley has improved greatly in the nearly 15 years since this match, but one thing has never changed: Lashley is really, really strong.
S: Oh his feats of strength were always something to behold and just every time he’d do them, every time I’ve seen him pull one off, it’s always looked effortless on his part. That T-Bone Suplex too, ooh boy, that was sweet.
JT: Exactly, he had a lot of beef to throw overhead! But for as strong as Lashley is, that doesn’t make Test any less dangerous, and he sends Lashley to the apron and then rams him into the post shoulder first! As the match starts turning in Test’s favor, Joey Styles says Lashley is a genetic freak, and that he’s not normal, and somewhere Scott Steiner took notes. Test with his vintage rest hold as Lashley tries to rally himself and the crowd. Lashley eventually sends Test into the corner and charges in, but Test gets a boot up, then grabs the arm and goes after the shoulder some more. Lashley once again gets the momentum going, this time getting aBack Body Drop, then a clothesline and a shoulder thrusts in the corner. The Champ tries to flex his strength again, as he goes for a Military Press Slam on Test but his arm collapses under him! As he clutched his arm, Test came back with the Big Boot!! There it is!! The famed Test Big Boot!! Probably the most extraordinary thing he does in his career, that spectacular Big Boot!! What do you think it is that really makes Test’s boot bigger than all the rest?
S: I think it’s a combination of multiple things really. His height definitely makes it look spectacular along with the way he does the move, he doesn’t do the lazy fucker lifting his leg with the opponent running into the boot. Nah, Test doesn’t operate like that, he’s going to fucking charge at you and boot your head off. Finally, it always looked devastating and never failed to get a reaction from the crowd. It’s a thing of beauty.
JT: I’d also like to throw into the pot the idea that Test is just good at timing his thigh slaps. So on top of running into his boot, he smacks his thigh and just at the right time you get a big sharp sound right as he “hit” the opponent and thus the crowd flips out, it looks and sounds the part. I still think the one he did on Eddie Guerrero at WM17 is the best instance of a big boot ever.
S: Definitely and his thigh slaps always go unnoticed, he’s very good at hiding them. Much more subtle than a lot of today’s wrestlers who do some thigh slapping.
JT: So after nailing his signature Big Boot, this could be it!! Test may have hit the knockout blow to become ECW Champion!! He covers, 1——–2—Kickout!! Test is frustrated and slams on the mat that it was 3, but if the referee can’t be convinced, he’s gotta try and put him away again. He goes to follow up with a TKO, but Lashley lands on his feet and hits a Belly to Belly!! Again, impressive strength by Lashley, and then he shows his explosiveness as he follows up with a Clothesline that knocks Test to the floor!! Quickly, the count by the referee is already up to 5 as Test is just getting up. He stands up and looks to climb back in at 8, only for him to wave it off and walk back up the ramp! Test bails on the title match, Lashley retains by countout! That right there, is the spirit of ECW personified! Nothing says Extreme like retaining a title by countout!
S: Nothing says Extreme like an ECW Title bout on a WWE show between two WWE guys that ends in a countout. What a fucking crap finish like and I was just starting to enjoy this match before the bullshit finish.
JT: Yeah, like it’s a match on one of the big 4. Unless the plan was to build this up for WrestleMania, I don’t know why you’re pushing the payoff down the road. News flash, nobody is gonna tune in for the Lashley/Test Extreme Rules match on ECW TV. Especially because this segment isn’t even over. Test walks back up the ramp, but Lashley ain’t having it. He chases Test up the ramp and clotheslines him again. He hits some clothesline in the corner to some very light ECW chants, and then he hits the Powerslam to close out the segment. It’s not even like Test ran away and survived another day, he looked like a coward and then still got his ass kicked! This doesn’t help Lashley because it’s an ending that left fans unsatisfied during his first PPV Title defense, and it doesn’t help Test because it doesn’t even protect him! They should’ve just had Lashley escape the TKO, hit the Spear, hit the Powerslam, 1-2-3 done. It would’ve at least helped Lashley out some.
S: Exactly! That’s the way it should’ve gone down, such TNA 2010 booking where you use your PPV’s to build towards Impact. It doesn’t help much considering Test is on his way out the door.
JT: I mean I know they weren’t betting on him failing the wellness policy, but I just don’t know where the end goal of this was going. If anything, if they wanted to do a big stipulation match, they should’ve just done it at the Rumble. Do a big “this is what ECW is all about” match, put Lashley over, easy. Although now that I think about it, it probably would’ve been hard to do an Extreme Rules match without stepping on the toes of the WWE Title match.
S: Yeah it does make you wonder what this was meant to accomplish but even the rematch on ECW on SyFy ended with Lashley going over by pinfall. Really confusing.
JT: So I think it’s fair to say that in their only match, WWECW didn’t really leave a great impression, did they?
S: No not at all, forgettable match really and once it started to pick up steam the shit finish came along. For a brand’s World Title to end in a countout on a Big 4 PPV is very WWECW.
JT: Lashley would be able to shrug off the stink of this at WrestleMania, but I don’t think WWECW really recovered. It’s a rough 8 month period for WWECW, with D2D bombing, this as a big showcase, and then of course the Benoit Tragedy that really hurt the brand right as they tried to turn things around. Not a fun time to be an ECW diehard.
S: No not at all, it was just a series of shitness coming their way, every time things were looking up they’d get slapped with another gut punch. The Benoit tragedy happening right when he just got moved over to the brand was probably the hardest hit the brand suffered because Benoit was the perfect fit for the brand at that time and he would’ve helped WWECW out tremendously had it not happened.
JT: And just circling back to an early point, I feel like Lashley escaped the WWECW stink in my opinion. But I feel like that’s because he always felt like an outsider to the brand, y’know? Like he came out clean because he felt like an outsider when he won the belt, he feuded with guys not from WWECW in Vince McMahon and Umaga, he always felt like he was just in ECW as a warm up, wouldn’t you say?
S: Oh he absolutely was, his feuds and features were mainly on Raw while ECW was a place where he happened to be Champion and where he could get his reps in. It was just the place which was right for him to get ready for the main event considering SmackDown was already full up at this stage.
JT: So for now, let’s say goodbye to WWECW and all its misery, not a great showing for the Extremists, but hey! There’s still the Rumble! Maybe someone will win it and challenge Lashley at the Granddaddy of them all…
S: Bob Holly, this is your moment!
————————————
Cheesehead’s Big Chance
JT: So up next, we’ve got SmackDown’s big showcase match, with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line! And more importantly, we’ve got a returning member of the Power Hour family! It’s Mr Kennedy Anderson Kennedy facing off against the star of Guardians of the Galaxy, Dune, Blade Runner 2049 and The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption, it’s World Champion Batista! Welcome back Ken! And welcome Big Dave!
S: Big Dave is back after a good long old hiatus, isn’t he? I don’t think we’ve seen him since our No Way Out 2003 review. Ken Kennedy, welcome back, I guess.
JT: Oh man, I forgot Dave was on in that arc, even if he was there briefly. So SmackDown has got this as it’s headliner, but how did it come together? Well, with the Rumble on the horizon GM Teddy Long set up a special tournament of sorts to determine who will face Batista for the Title. This was called the “SmackDown Sprint” aka a series of 8 matches under the “Beat the Clock” format. Essentially whatever time it takes to win the first match is now the time to beat. Anyone who loses is naturally out, and anyone who cannot win within that time limit also is out even if you don’t lose the match. And furthermore, if someone can win their match faster than you won yours, you’re out as well. I gotta say, I think this is a pretty good use of this stipulation. It’s not one that broken out all too often, but it can be entertaining so long as WWE doesn’t show their hand too much and make the outcome obvious.
S: Yeah this was just a great use of a stipulation which at the best of times is a pretty naff one. It worked here because of how the SmackDown Sprint played out and culminated. This was obviously before they would bust it out whenever they felt like it so here, it was still relatively fresh.
JT: So Seán, do you want to run through all the matches that happened in the SmackDown Sprint?
S: Oh most definitely! My time to shine. So in our first match, Kane defeated Chavo Guerrero in 7 minutes and 53 seconds. In match number two, Tag Champions Paul London and Brian Kendrick wrestled to a time-limit draw, I bet that was a good match. Our next match saw King Booker defeat Gregory. Helms. *generic music intensifies* The longest reigning Champion in SmackDown history and the Cruiserweight Champion of the World in 6 minutes and 24 seconds. Match number four, and definitely our most bizarre match saw TATANKA and JIMMY WANG YANG wrestle to a time-limit draw. Definitely only done so we could have the cowboy and Native American dynamic. The last match of the sprint on the first SmackDown of 2007 saw Mr. Kennedy defeat the United States Champion, Chris Benoit in five minutes and four seconds. The last three matches all ended in time-limit draws which included Finlay and Matt Hardy, MVP and BIG VITO and The Undertaker and The Miz also wrestled to a draw but there were shenanigans I tells ya!
JT: That’s right, Kennedy interfered at the critical moment to distract Taker for long enough that Taker & Miz went to a time limit draw, thus allowing Mr Kennedy to earn this match! Pretty creative and interesting way to involve a lot of people who might not usually be near the world title scene, plus you can protect them with time limit draws.
S: In this instance, the SmackDown Sprint was for sure a good experiment as it gave everyone a chance at getting a World Heavyweight Championship Match. I’m just saying though, we were robbed of Jimmy Wang Yang against Batista.
JT: We were robbed of the Vito vs Batista Hoss Match! But Kennedy winning was a pretty logical choice, considering he had been on quite a run in 2006, his debut year! In fact, he had victories over 6 former World Champions! Now Seán, do you happen to know who he beat and the circumstances of those victories?
S: Okay so there were definitely a few shoddy victories in there. He beat Undertaker in a First Blood match at Survivor Series 2006 and by DQ at No Mercy 2006. He got a DQ victory over Batista at the 2006 Great American Bash, definitely beating Rey while he was Champion or even after he was Champion. He beat Benoit twice in the lead up to this show. By any chance did he beat Booker or Orton?
JT: Ok so you got some of that right. He beat Batista by DQ at The Bash, then by countout on SmackDown and then he lost to him on SmackDown, but let’s ignore that. His next win was over Rey Mysterio on SmackDown by distraction roll up thanks to Chavo & Vickie Guerrero holding Dominik Mysterio hostage. He then beat Undertaker by DQ at No Mercy like you said, then he beat Kane (who has a world champion for all of a day) in a No DQ Match on SmackDown thanks to a chair shot and aided cover by MVP. At Survivor Series he beat Undertaker in a First Blood match and then lost a Last Ride match at Armageddon, again ignoring that. Then he beat Chris Benoit in the Sprint. So bam, 6 World Champions! Batista, Rey Mysterio, Undertaker, Kane….hey wait, that’s 5! Where’s the 6th? Well I had assumed that all these victories happened over the course of 2006, but I was wrong! The 6th was actually Booker T, who he beat on SmackDown in August 2005 thanks to a distraction by Christian! So Ken’s got a long memory I guess. But it still counts! Booker T, Batista, Rey Mysterio, Undertaker and Kane!!
S: Wow I had no clue he was on SmackDown all the way back near SummerSlam 2005! I thought he would’ve debuted in maybe September or October. Christian on SmackDown in 2005 too, a very short run that was, one foot out the door at that stage. It’s a good way to push someone as the next top heel though in relation to Ken Kennedy.
JT: It’s a good gimmick for a heel, because it’s technically true. And that means they have legitimacy, but they’re also despicable because you know that’s not the whole story! On top of that, Kennedy has shown that he’s smarting by pitting Batista & Undertaker against each other. First he goated Batista into interfering in his match with Taker, giving him another win over a World Champion and pissing off Taker at the same time. And after that, he goated Undertaker into accidentally booting Batista! He squared off with two top dogs and escaped unscathed! But now, can he win the world title? After all, Batista spent over a year focusing on the title. First he spent significant time healing up from injury, and then he spent months chasing down King Booker to finally get back the title he was never beaten for. But hey, JBL retorts that Kennedy has been robbed of a Title shot for just as long. So now it’s time to put up or shut up for Kennedy.
S: The match has had some really good build up, it’s made Kennedy out to be a really smart heel and the way he’s been slowly but surely built up for a match of this standing has been a very good job done by WWE.
JT: He’s a smart heel, and he is a determined heel, as we see by the fact he just stares down the title as the ref raises it up. Will he put another World Champion, this time with all the chips on the line. Can he do it, Seán, or will Batista shut him up? Let’s find out!
S: Time to turn up the trouble as it may get really loud.
JT: So as we start the match off, Batista is throwing Kennedy around, while JBL talks about Kennedy’s mind games. He gets an eye poke on Batista but then immediately runs into a Boot and eats a Suplex that sends him rolling to the floor. However, out on the floor, Kennedy is able to show his trickiness as he shoves the Animal into the steps, with Batista hitting knee first. Batista is already limping as Kennedy hits a Dropkick to the knee, and JBL calls Kennedy smart for going for the knee because it’ll take away his power. With Batista down in the ring Kennedy locks in an Inverted Figure 4 to really try to make things agonizing for the Champ, and he’s also somehow bleeding already. I don’t know how it happened. So far, this has been pretty slow, but at least JBL has been pretty solid on commentary. For example, he says that Kennedy worked his way up the ladder because he had to, since Green Bay sucks, and that Kennedy had nothing to live for there.
S: JBL at this time was such a competent and solid commentator because his character at the announce booth is still in wrestler mode. Like Bradshaw here as a commentator is JBL the wrestler from 2004-2006 because he’s still the most heel of the heels. Heeling out on one of SmackDown’s top heels in Kennedy is what I like to call Heel².
JT: Plus I think he’s got a little extra bit of vigor considering his history with Batista, and Batista’s friendship with Bradshaw’s mortal enemy Rey Mysterio.
S: Ah of course, JBL’s great running gag on commentary from 2006-07 was that he despised Rey Mysterio after he retired his ass for the first time. Rey Rey and Mil Mascaras, both disliked by Rey for different reasons. One is for real, the other is not.
JT: Might as well bring it up now, he makes sure to bury Mascaras during the Rumble. It was inevitable. So back to the match, Kennedy has a Single Leg Crab in, but Batista rolls over and pushes him off, then gets him in a Small Package for a 2 count. Funny to see Batista go for a roll up but hey, he’s getting desperate. Batista scoops him up for a Powerslam, but Kennedy slips behind and hits him on the Hamstring again. Over and over again he goes for the legs, but it still can’t keep Batista down as when Kennedy runs to the ropes Batista catches him with a Spinebuster as he comes back. However, as he goes to cover, he goes down clutching his leg. So maybe Kennedy’s game plan is paying off! And I know we’ve talked about this sort of spot before, and this falls into one of the lesser examples, but I won’t dwell on that too much. What I will say is this: Though Batista’s not known for his in ring skills, part of what made him such a star was the fact that he always nailed his signature offense. His Spinebuster, though not Arn Anderson beautiful, is as consistent as they come.
S: Oh it’s a damn good Spinbuster, nobody is ever on the level of Arn Anderson with that move but Batista has a consistency in the way he delivers it as good as Arn. Although he may not do the 180⁰ rotation which Arn does either, there is definitely a *chews gum*, a good, good snap to it.
JT: Yeah agreed. So as they both get themselves up, they trade shots, with Kennedy kicking the knee only for Batista to get angry and hit him with a clothesline and a backdrop. Batista with a clothesline in the corner, then a body slam. Kennedy backs up, Batista ducks a shot and m gets him on his shoulder and hits a Rolling Fireman’s Carry on Kennedy!! Batista gives him some of his own medicine! Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down!! Batista Bomb coming, crowd is on their feet. He pulls Kennedy in, but the Mr gets him on the knee, causing Batista to stumble back and Elbow hit the ref! He closes the distance and gets a Low Blow from Kennedy!! Kennedy follows up with a Neckbreaker!! 1—2—3!! But there’s no referee!! Kennedy gets Nick Patrick up and hits a kick and a short DDT!! 1–2–Kickout!! I mean, I see what they were going for here, but it seems kinda funny that the big “He had it won” moment came off a regular ass Neckbreaker.
S: Putting that Low Blow x Neckbreaker combination over big time, weren’t they? When you mention it now it’s almost as funny as when Mr. Perfect did that one run-in and hit the Perfect Plex.
JT: Now that is some all time shit! And while we’re here, what do you think of the old “accidentally bump the ref” spots?
S: I feel like when we did our first two seasons and even on the Pilot episode, we did get a lot of accidental ref bump spots. Last season, not many, if not then none at all. I think those kinds of spots can be done well, like in our first episode we had Michaels Superkick Mike Chioda or one of the referees after Cena ducks. That’s an instance where it works. Here, it’s very much down the list of good ref bumps, it was a very Nick Patrick type ref bump. It was effective with the crowd so I will give kudos to them on that.
JT: I mean, was it? I was hearing some chants for Kennedy in the immediate aftermath of that spot, I don’t think that was the desired result.
S: Yeah it’s a weird one really, I was surprised there were chants for Kennedy in this match to be honest with you.
JT: I guess it serves as a reminder that Batista also went through the same sort of treatment from the fans as John Cena infamously got. Not to the same degree, but there we’re definitely times where an older male audience shit on him in favor of someone else.
S: Yeah, this was a proper toxic trend that a lot of the older male fans were following at this time. Just shitting on whoever the top guys are because they aren’t like the top guys of old.
JT: Folks wanted them to market to the audience of old even though that audience pretty much up and left with Austin’s heel turn and when he and Rock left the ring. But that’s enough chit chat, I’m gonna put this match to bed. After having a visual 3 on Batista, and then hitting a DDT that couldn’t put Batista away, Kennedy knows that he has to act now, he has to act now, victory is in his grasp! He just needs to figure out what to do next. But you can’t keep the Animal down, Batista charges at him in the corner! Kennedy gets his boot up! Then he hops up to the second rope, you gotta take risks to go all the way in the wrestling business! He leaps off, but leaps right into a Clothesline!! Batista caught him flush, and he’s not done! He pulls Ken in, he lifts him up, and nails the Batista Bomb!! Shoulders down, Batista into the cover, 1—2—3!! The Animal retains the World Championship over a game Mr Kennedy! Now, heading into this we both knew Batista would win because he obviously defends it at WrestleMania. We’re not here for that sort of stuff, we’re here for the circumstances of this show itself, the moments that have been left behind with time. So Seán, what did you think of this match, what do you think of this outcome as a whole?
S: I think it was definitely the right outcome, the way the match was booked was definitely a positive. It showed that Kennedy definitely has what it takes to be a future Champion but Batista just knows how to see matches out, much like a top sports team. I thought this match was quite solid, I really liked the story of that Kennedy is the wiley fucker who just finds ways to beat the big names by hook or by crook going into this one. I thought that Kennedy working over Batista’s left knee was fucking brilliant, some really sweet submissions from him too that I never thought he had in him. Bit of a sudden finish with Batista getting enough strength just to quickly hit the Batista Bomb but I guess that’s what champions do in kayfabe.
JT: Yeah babyface Champions tend to just overcome. You gotta give the fans an ending to be happy with, and if he can’t lift anyone up or move quickly, there’s not much Batista can do. I also think it’s smart to give Kennedy some additional protection in his booking. But aside from that, I gotta tell ya, I disagree with you about this one. I just was not high on this match at all. Batista is someone I value more as a star figure than an actual wrestler, in part because I don’t find him particularly interesting in peril. When he’s on the defensive and selling, I always find it hard to remain interested in his matches. I don’t want to say he’s a bad seller but there are definitely many wrestlers who can do it in a lot more exciting ways. Moreover, as we discussed in our TNA arc, I don’t think Kennedy is much of a ring general either. Finally, I think the ref bump spot comes off kind of lackluster when the face does the bumping. Like I understand it was accidental contact, but I still feel like it’s not a great look for a face to knock the ref over, get pinned and survive because there’s no ref. I much prefer the heel causing their own downfall, even if it’s by accident. So I gotta say, I thought this was pretty dull. Not bad necessarily, and definitely better than the ECW Title match, but nothing to write home about.
S: A disagreement but not a massive one because I did think it was grand, nothing special but for a Royal Rumble show, I am surprised they went with someone different like Kennedy and not have Booker get his 1 on 1 rematch like commentary would talk about later. If it were Booker, do you think this match would’ve been better?
JT: I don’t know, considering they ran Booker vs Batista into the ground the year before, like they had been feuding from August to December. I trust Booker to deliver a good match more than Ken Kennedy, but hey, the fact they were willing to give him this match and protect him was a big sign that they valued him.
S: And given that we’ve reviewed WrestleMania 23, which was two months after this, they clearly valued him to this level.
JT: And I will say, with this added context, it was nice when MITB winners were presented as guys who could be World Champions even without the case, unlike in years past when you have guys who aren’t in World Title contention until they win the belt. He’s presented as someone who is more than ready, rather than someone who needs to take a step up.
S: That’s what made his win work too! Like when commentary would hammer home Kennedy beating multiple former World Champions and that’s he’s this, that and the other, then wins MITB? I mean that’s a job well done. Same thing worked with Edge, RVD and Rollins to name a few.
JT: I feel like those are the ones who actually end up sticking around as main eventers after their title run ends, unlike the guys and gals who get a chance and then fall right back down the card.
S: So Jack Swagger, Damien Sandow, Carmella, Nikki Cross and Otis?
JT: You can argue even The Miz honestly, CM Punk was headed in that direction too but then they gave him one more shot in 2009.
S: Oh without a doubt you could say The Miz, he was damaged goods for a long time after his WWE Title reign ended. Which could be said for Kennedy too, given where he’ll be at by this time next year.
JT: Yeah, I think we addressed that nicely back during the Hardy Heel Turn Arc, so let’s leave it at that.
————————————
U-Ma-God
S: Well James, we’ve had two fairly mid quality World Title matches and now we’ve got one left, will this one be actually really good? Or will we be feeling fairly empty yet again?
JT: Well there’s only one way to find out! It’s John Cena defending his WWE Championship against Umaga in a Last Man Standing match! But first, we have some preamble to get through. Before the match, we see John Cena backstage with a doctor, and John is coughing as the doctor inspects his breathing. Mid checkup though, Vince McMahon barges in bringing up how Cena interrupted him on Raw. Vince gives him one last chance to give up the title. Cena says no chance he forfeits the title and Vince says well he can’t see John, not as the WWE Champion after tonight, nor as the Last Man Standing. Why? Well the video package explains it. Back at NYR’s Cena fought Umaga, and though Umaga whooped Cena’s ass, John got the roll up and the win to retain his title and serve Umaga his first loss in WWE. Corrupt GM Coachman let Armando Estrada decide the stipulation for their rematch at the Rumble, and Estrada picked a LMS match, since Cena was barely able to hold Umaga down for 3 seconds, let alone keep him down for 10. Cena says nothing is impossible and nothing will stop him from fighting like hell to keep his title, even putting Coach through a table, but Umaga put Cena through a table on Raw with a Splash off the top rope. As such, Cena ribs are in bad shape heading into a match that was already going to be tough.
S: He’s got the DDP taped ribs baby! I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this but is it just me or should Cena have beaten Umaga by pinfall at New Year’s Revolution or do you think it’s saved by the fact it was coined as a “fluke victory” by Armando?
JT: I’m okay with it being a fluke in the eyes of the heels, at least because we got this match out of it. Like, heading in, it barely feels like Cena beat him, so it feels like just keeping Umaga down for a legit clean Pinfall loss seems like a Herculean task. But I definitely think having a person who has never lost immediately get a follow up match and acting like their first loss doesn’t matter does kind of stink. Like let’s be real, there’s not really a satisfying story you can ever do after someone who hasn’t lost finally loses. Trying to sweep it under the rug like this still does kind of stink.
S: That’s the problem I’ve always had with it, I know that their first bout was to set up a stipulation match but at the same time, he just beat Umaga and then that was the end of the show. I personally reckon that this match should’ve had a non-finish just to keep Umaga still undefeated. At the same time though, at least beating Umaga unanimously is seeming like it’ll take the biggest of performances.
JT: Or at the very least, Cena should have gotten attacked and stretchered out after winning the match, to really prove that even if he “won”, physically he was outclassed and it wasn’t even close.
S: Absolutely, the old Undertaker vs Triple H booking from WrestleMania 27, simple yet effective. Can we just shed light on how fucking awesome Umaga was for a moment?
JT: By all means, go ahead.
S: Where do I even start with him? Everything about the character just felt so right from the off. Like even his origin story with Armando Estrada, a Cuban businessman who lived in wealth in Cuba because he had ties to Fidel Castro, going out and scouring the island of Samoa and discovering this beast of a man and immediately he was put over as a beast. He was beating EVERYONE. Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, sent Kane packing to SmackDown, he even beat EUGENE. The look too is just so fucking cool, the piercings, the awesome tattoos, the braided hair and the facepaint. Oh, and he wrestled barefoot like a King. His moveset was perfect for the character too. Love Umaga.
JT: Oh and as we’ll discuss, around this time he’s great in the ring. Not only is a heavy looking tank of a man, but he’s got excellent speed and dexterity at this time. It’d fall off in the future, but he’s really in his athletic prime in 2007. He’s got power, he’s got speed, and he’s got a plethora of cool looking moves. Don’t expect the typical “slow big man chops and headbutts” out of him. Expect explosive offense from the Samoan Bulldozer. Which, by the way, is a great nickname!
S: It’s soooooo good! It just sums him up to a tee, he’s big, he’s got speed and he fucks shit up. That’s another thing which grabbed me about Umaga too, the fact he was a Super-Heavyweight wrestler but was so damn explosive and quick.
JT: Meanwhile on the other side of things, you have John Cena. King says from Cena’s demeanor, you can tell he’s hurt, and like you said, he’s got the DDP rib tape. Oh, and he’s got a big oorah marines ass shirt on.
S: He definitely wore this at Tribute to the Troops last month, didn’t he? Is this the shirt with the bulldog wearing the army helmet?
JT: That’s the one! Says “Chain Gang Assault Battalion” with the camo lettering to go along with his camo hat. As a kid, I gotta say, getups like this that he wore especially in this 2006-2008 “post Doctor of Thuganomics” era really made me think he had some sort of military service in his history. What about you? You ever think he had served in the marines or the army or something?
S: Oh I definitely thought he served in the Marines or was an army man of some kind at first. Let’s not forget that he starred in the first Marine movie last year and had his camo hat, as well as camo shorts to boot as well. John Cena had a big army man toy energy with six year old me.
JT: Hooray for post 9/11 American Militarism! That never ended up biting us in the ass in any way, that’s for sure!
S: Some say that it brought all of the United States together as a whole. The same way which the partition of Ireland did for people in the North.
JT: Well to that I must remark, some say that Stephanie McMahon started the Women’s Revolution!
S: And Triple H was the architect for the Attitude Era!
JT: So jokes aside, let’s get to the match! The bell rings and Cena hammers on Umaga with right hands but it does nothing, and one big swing right to the taped up ribs sends Cena down and out of the ring. So what is that like, a minute flat before they brawl on the floor? The Dudleys would be proud.
S: Dudleys, Triple H, Undertaker all tipping their caps to these lads in appreciation. Ya just got to give the people what they want!
JT: So on the outside, Umaga throws Cena into the steps, again targeting the injured ribs. They fight up the ramp and Cena starts to build momentum! He slams Umaga’s head on the apron, thus falling for the age old “hard head Samoan” stereotype, as Umaga just bounces back and goes right back to the ribs. He continues again to attack the ribs in the ring, Cena stops Umaga in the corner, runs out for a clothesline but gets leveled by one from Umaga. Cena only gets up at 7, and just barely, things are already looking bad for our hero. Scoop Slam by Umaga, who goes and brings the Stairs into the ring over the top as Cena beats the count again at 7. As Umaga slowly tries to get back in the ring, Cena springs back to life and yanks Umaga down on the top rope, knocking him down on the floor. And then, Cena does one of the most batshit spots of his career, as he just HURLS THE STEPS AT UMAGA!!! HOLY SHIT!!
S: This was fucking mental! I was not expecting to see a spot of this level of craziness in this match. Like he just fucks the stairs at him like a caveman throwing a god damn boulder. Real slapstick cartoonish energy but in a very painful way.
JT: Yeah, it’s even got the cartoon metal clang sound effect to it. I really love this spot because WWE honestly protects the steel stairs better than most wrestlers in the history of the company. I mean, so many guys, strength wise and position wise, have had to take the obviously hollow steps and act like they’re extremely heavy. They do it enough where you kind of buy that they’re actually heavy. So then, when John just hurls them like they’re nothing all the way down on Umaga, it feels like an even crazier version of Kevin McAllister hucking bricks of a New York City apartment at the Wet/Sticky Bandits.
S: Next thing you know, John Cena is going to have a bag of flour lower from the ceiling to drop onto Umaga and considering he’s barefoot, he’s going to leave a nail so that his foot can step through it. John Cena’s been plotting his traps for Umaga on an A3 piece of paper.
JT: Sadly for John, it’s going to require even more than that to defeat the Samoan Bulldozer, as Umaga fully beat the count at only 6! If a huge spot like throwing the stairs at him only gets a 6, what the hell will keep him down for the full 10? Well Cena’s not gonna wait to find out, he’s already hurting, he’s gotta capitalize on any chance he has. He charges at Umaga, quickly trying to build momentum. He hammers on him with shots, he brings him back in the ring, he hits the ropes, and Umaga counters with a lightning quick Spinning Heel Kick. This is what we mean when we talk about how impressive his speed is. Umaga just bowls over Cena in a split second in a way you’d never expect a guy his size to do.
S: Every time he did something this quick and sudden, it would always get a reaction or draw attention to him. He always seems to amaze people with his athleticism. Him here has got very much a resemblance to a young Yokozuna when he was around Umaga’s size in the late 80s, mainly due to his Spinning Heel Kick.
JT: In one fluid motion, Umaga cut John Cena’s momentum off completely, and nearly knocked his head off too. After that, it’s back to focusing on the injured ribs, as he locks a Bear Hug in and then eventually it’s turned into a Belly to Belly. After that, Umaga once again set his sights on the ring steps. This time, he goes and gets the bottom step and brings it into the ring. Cena beats the count at 8 as the crowd chants “We want tables” and Umaga props the stairs in the corner. He puts Cena against the steps, backs up to the opposite side, goes for the Corner Hip Attack, but Cena moves at the last second! Cena grabs the even bigger steps and connects with them! Umaga gets up and beats the count, but Cena is up too, and up on the top rope! He leaps off, but Umaga catches him and hits a Spinning Side Slam! So far I’ve gotta say, if this match ended here, this match would easily go to Umaga on points. This has been real one sided so far aside from a few flashy moments by Cena.
S: Oh without a doubt, this match would definitely be an Umaga victory by unanimous decision. He’s been bossing this match up to this point, all Cena has got in have been the few hope spots.
JT: And over and over, the attacks have gone to the midsection. He keeps piling on for example, as if to go back to your Yokozuna reference before. Umaga uses the ropes to hit mini Bonzai Drops onto Cena over and over, commanded by Armando Estrada! He only stops because he goes for but one too many times as Cena gets his knees up! Umaga is doubled over after the shot low, Cena hits one side, then the opposite side, coming back with Bulldog on the Stairs!! Umaga pops right back up, standing but dazed, and Cena picks him up and hits the Protobomb down right on the stairs again!! Cena motions to the crowd, and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on the Samoan Bulldozer!! He’s going for it all!! He lifts Umaga for the FU!! But he can’t hold him up, and he falls face first on the steps!! Trapped between the steps and all of Umaga’s weight!! And it busts Cena wide open!! Great spot right here! Finally we see the ribs aren’t just effective Cena on defense but now it’s hindering his offense too! Plus, it makes use of Umaga’s size advantage for him to crush Cena against the stairs. On top of that, it’s a perfect spot to blade after because Cena’s face is obscured and it makes sense for Cena to bleed after falling on the steps. I mean in kayfabe, he just had 300+ squish him into the jagged end of the stairs!
S: Yeah that was a proper gnarly looking bump as well, I would be very hesitant to be taking a front bump near the jagged end of the stairs. This blade job, a calm job by comparison to some of Cena’s other blade jobs before this. I mean, fucking hell he looked like he was on the set of Carrie with his blade jobs against JBL in the I Quit Match and the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution. Really like how the ribs are becoming a massive hindrance for Cena at this stage as well. Great stuff.
JT: Yeah I was about to say, it’s one thing for Umaga to have a consistent target. That’s all fine and dandy, it gives the audience an easy section to focus on. But good selling to me shows that the injury isn’t just there to be attacked, it’s going to affect you no matter what. That’s how injuries work, you’re gonna be sore all the time.
S: Especially an injury with a body part so sensitive like your ribs. My oldest brother injured his ribs playing gaelic and he literally couldn’t do a thing for weeks, it’s a debilitating injury.
JT: Luckily for Cena, he’s got the crowd on his side! Well, some of the crowd, as there’s a Cena sucks chant from the older male contingent. Meanwhile, Umaga hammers on the bloody cut. Cena manages to get back up after that to beat the count, but is in no position to defend himself as Umaga keeps hammering him. Still, Cena starts to fire up!! He hammers on his own cut, begging Umaga to hit him harder!! He starts to connect with punches to the face of the monster, he hits the ropes, but runs right into a Samoan Drop!! And it’s a wonky one, kind of off wasn’t it?
S: Yeah this wasn’t one of Umanga’s cleanest Samoan Drops alright, Cena was a bit overshot when he went up so Umaga had to work with what was there unfortunately.
JT: Luckily, it still looked like it sucked for Cena, so job done I guess? And hey, it had the ugly visual of Cena’s bloody face smacking right into the mat and leaving a trail of blood as he bounced off it. Gross.
S: If there’s one thing I don’t miss about there being virtually no blood in WWE, it’s the nasty stains it leaves on the mat afterwards. There’s been some bloody ass matches from this era which warranted a canvas change from how much blood there was on the canvas.
JT: It’s gruesome stuff that’s for sure. And it looks like Cena’s about to be left in a pool of his own blood because Umaga is lining up the final blow! He’s got the taped thumb out, he’s got Cena in his grasp. He swings for the Samoan Spike, but Cena catches his hand! He blocked it! But as quickly as he gets hope, Umaga smacks him with a Headbutt to knock him down again. Now with him prone, Umaga hangs Cena up in the corner and goes for a diving Headbutt, but Cena pulls himself up!! Cena now stands on the top, then leaps off and scores with the Leg Drop!! He grabs Umaga and throws him into the turnbuckle post!! He runs outside and decks Estrada, who was grabbing a monitor off the announce desk. He takes the monitor from Estrada, lines up his shot, and smacks Umaga smack dab right on the top of the head with the monitor!! Fucking ouch! Right on the soft spot of the head!! And yet, Umaga still beats the count at 8!! What’s it gonna take?
S: There were a lot of sore moments to the head in this, weren’t there? Fucking hell like, taking the TV monitor that hard to the head must have sucked for Umaga. That turnbuckle post spot was always a trademark of Umaga’s as well, that was his Bret Hart sternum first into the turnbuckle.
JT: Yeah that had to hurt, those monitors aren’t gimmicked (as far as I know). And as for the turnbuckle spot, it’s perfect for him. Instead of having him get beat up, you have him get outsmarted like the big dumb savage character he is. The other person looks smart, he looks dangerous, and he can take the pretty safe shoulder to the post spot.
S: Playing the wrestling stereotype well so he is. Hard headed Samoan Savage who is also a bit of an idiot. One of wrestling’s go to foreigner stereotypes.
JT: And honestly? I think he’s one of the best iterations of any wrestling stereotype, because it’s who he was to the end. The entire time the Umaga character was around, he was a dangerous heel and he basically acted the same way the whole time. That’s better than how most of the characters get Flanderized and “evolve”. Like at least he was consistent the whole time, it wasn’t a person it’s who he was.
S: Oh definitely, he’s far and away the best iteration of the Samoan character and during his run he was always at the same level. Upper mid-card/low main event heel. You mention the character possibly being evolved, it actually made me think of how weird a face Umaga run could’ve been. I shutter just to think of it.
JT: I think we got the briefest face run for a bit in 2007, but like literally for the shortest time. But honestly, it’s barely a footnote in his career, so we’ll stick to his most famous match instead! So after he gets back up, Cena runs and shoves him out of the ring. Cena then jumps off the apron at him on the floor, but Umaga catches him and rams him into the post!! The Samoan Bulldozer lays Big Match John out on the ECW announce table, but then clears the SmackDown and Raw tables! He starts at the Raw end and takes off running, going across the Raw table, across the SmackDown, and leaps off the end of it!! He’s gonna pulverize Cena if he hits! But he doesn’t, Cena moves out of the way and Umaga crashes through the table!! Again, Umaga’s speed and athleticism make this spot so impressive, he just zips across the table and Cena barely makes it out alive!
S: The way in which he zips across the tables and makes his jump is like when you’re playing a 2D Super Mario level and you’re just on a roll, you’re speeding through the level, triple jumps galore only to miss the flagpole at the end. That’s how Umaga must feel here.
JT: And much like a Mario level, the crowd thought that missing that jump was the end!! And yet, Umaga had an extra life!! He still gets up and beats the count again!! San Antonio bit hard on this, what’s it gonna take? Is it even possible?? I mean, Cena is too stunned to act too!! He can’t even tell that behind him, Armando Estrada is using some sort of tool on the top rope! By the time he realizes that Armando is up to some funny business, Umaga comes back and hits Cena’s taped ribs again! And now Estrada pops the top rope off!! He unscrewed it, and now instructs Umaga to use the metal end to hit Cena!! He’s gonna knock his brains into the upper deck! Umaga charges and swings,, Cena ducks and lifts him up!! FU!! Cena hits it out of nowhere!! He knocks Estrada off the apron!! He hits Umaga with the metal turnbuckle rod, and now he grabs the leg and uses the ropes to choke Umaga with a Modified STFU!! Umaga slumps as JR yells that even Monsters must breathe!! Is this the end?!? Yes!! Wait, no?!? Umaga is starting to stir again!! Cena goes right back to it!! He wraps the rope around Umaga’s throat, and pulls back with all his might!! He yells out, blood pouring down his face, as Umaga’s eyes roll back into his head!! The referee counts, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9———10!!! He did it!! John Cena, busted up ribs and all overcame the odds and retained the title!! Seán, what a finish and what a match!!
S: This match is what I’d like to coin as beautiful brutality. This was an all-out war from bell to bell between these two lads. There were so many brutal looking spots that caught my eye, the stairs throwing, all of the spots involving the stairs. I can imagine getting to see the top rope being undone was such a crazy thing to watch unfold back in 2007. It worked so well in this because both men had to go all in with their levels of violence to win this match. I thoroughly loved this match. Cena and Umaga worked really well together, and it shows in this match. The final moments of the match where Cena had to choke out Umaga TWICE with the ring rope was so cathartic and made Umaga out to be this monstrous character who could only be stopped by knocking him unconscious. It still holds up fifteen years later, and it’s a match which proved why I think Cena during this year-long WWE Title reign was on top form. He had so many bangers on PPV during this period, and this is up there with one of his best. All the thumbs up, by that, I mean two.
JT: I don’t think it’s a stretch to call this the best match of Umaga’s career, one of the very best (like top 10 ever) of Cena’s career, and potentially one of the best matches to ever happen on a Royal Rumble show. Now Cena as an underdog wasn’t perfect in his early main event run and it definitely wasn’t in later years, but here? The situation is all right. He’s going into a match against a guy he could barely keep down with the stipulation in Umaga’s favor, and he’s going in injured. Cena spends the whole match selling for Umaga, and selling those ribs. And yet, he’s got such great hope spots that the crowd just totally rallies around him in the end. They exploded when he dodged the big splash on the announce table, they went wild when he hit the FU, and they went wild when he won. This isn’t Cena at his best form like he’d be in by like 2015-2016, but this is Cena perfectly in his element. All he’s gotta do is brawl, hit his signature spots, and emote, and those are all things he’s been great at during every point of his career. This is a car wreck in the absolute best way.
S: Agreed. This is the type of wreckage where it feels like the chaos that ensues is earned rather than forced. Each big spot happens for a reason and is not done for the sake of it being done. Cena in these stipulation matches has probably one of his biggest advantages throughout his career. He’s had so many great matches under a stipulation rule. I Quit at Judgment Day 2005 with JBL, TLC at Unforgiven 2006 with Edge, this match, Extreme Rules matches with RVD and Brock Lesnar, he’s had loads of good showings in Elimination Chamber matches as well. As you said, these matches are him in his element.
JT: Agreed. This is the type of wreckage where it feels like the chaos that ensues is earned rather than forced. Each big spot happens for a reason and is not done for the sake of it being done. Cena in these stipulation matches has probably one of his biggest advantages throughout his career. He’s had so many great matches under a stipulation rule. I Quit at Judgment Day 2005 with JBL, TLC at Unforgiven 2006 with Edge, this match, Extreme Rules matches with RVD and Brock Lesnar, he’s had loads of good showings in Elimination Chamber matches as well. As you said, these matches are him in his element.
S: Oh wow, now that’s a tricky question because he had a lot of bangers in the mid 2010s, didn’t he? I think with Cena, you could probably do a top 30 list of his greatest ever matches. There’s been a lot of them since this match. I would genuinely like to compile a shortlist sometime and figure out how I could order them. If we’re doing a top 30 list with Cena, I think this should rank somewhere within the upper half of his best matches.
JT: Who knows, maybe if we decided to branch out with our Power Hour content in 2022 or beyond, you might just get your John Cena Top 30….
S: *taps the nose*
JT: So we only have one match left, this show’s namesake. But as Rey Mysterio showed the year before, it takes a lot of heart, endurance and a bit of luck to go the distance. So to that I say, let’s take a wee little break and catch our breath with The Recharge!
S: Down to the café we shall go!
————————————
The Recharge
JT: Hello and welcome to the Recharge! Get comfy, pull up a chair, kick your feet up! This is the segment where Seán and I pulled the breaks on the big train rolling down the line. We’re gonna take a brief break to talk about other things on our mind, wrestling related or otherwise, as well as playing some Trivia I like to call the Recharge Recall. So Seán, how are you doing today?
S: I’m doing pretty good as of late, James. I’ve been keeping myself busy, working here and there and I’m soon due to go back to college for my second semester of my second year. I’m excited to go back, I’ve missed the old campus in a way.
JT: Excellent to hear! I’ve been working full time for about a month now, and I’m settling in pretty nicely if I must say so myself.
S: Well that’s great to hear, I was just about to ask you how’s your new job been treating you?
JT: The work itself ain’t bad, but I will say, I got exposed to COVID due to my manager (who was exposed to her boyfriend), and thus, I got sick! For like a week. Luckily it was pretty mild for the most part, but I had to miss a week of work because of it, and that threw off my ability to get a booster shot. But again, I had it relatively easy, comparatively speaking.
S: Thankfully, you’ve come out of it unscathed on the other side after being exposed to it. Speaking of booster shots, I did have mine done there last week so I’m doing alright, I suppose but since then, a lot of restrictions have been lifted over here.
JT: Very nice. As far as things go over here? They’re as complicated as ever, and when restrictions get lifted is basically a guessing game. In part because of people who want them gone as soon as possible, and the exact opposite side of the coin.
S: It sounds pretty similar to what was happening over here during 2021. Restrictions being lifted, outbreaks, and then restrictions being put in place. A real rollercoaster. With the restrictions that have been lifted, we don’t need vaccination certificates to go into restaurants now and everything is more or less back to maximum capacity. Masks are obviously still in place, which doesn’t really bother me.
JT: It is what it is at this point. So, what do you want to talk about? Do you have any wrestle talk of note you want to catch up on, or do you want to talk about some pop culture and media? Or do you pine for the third option of god knows what? Wait actually scratch that, I know what I want to mention! So, people in and around WWE have been snooping through our messages haven’t they?
S: Oh they fucking well have been snooping in and out of our messages. Nick Khan has been sending his spies into Power Hour HQ as of late because we shit you not, when we talked about the Test vs Lashley and Batista vs Mr. Kennedy matches, WWE UPLOADED BOTH OF THEM IN THEIR ENTIRETY ON THEIR YOUTUBE CHANNEL. Oh and Brian Kendrick has supposedly asked for his release from WWE, and the Cruiserweight Division is officially dead.
JT: First, it’s really funny how the matches work out. Like, I suppose it’s been 15 years so it makes sense to upload it now, but the timing was too perfect. Like, it was literally the day after we finished each section.
As for the Cruiserweight Division, we saw this coming, and it’s unfortunate, but WWE is changing its attitudes again and if they’re gonna move on they’re gonna do it whether we like it or not. At least Carmelo Hayes is a much better Final Champion than Hornswoggle was. I haven’t watched a ton of NXT 2.0 but he strikes me as a pretty cool dude, so I hope he lives up to the lineage before him.
S: I mean, that is true, I would even say that the writing was on the wall as far back as 2019 for the Cruiserweight Division. I do agree with Carmelo Hayes being the final Champion though, as you said, he also strikes me as a cool guy and from what I’ve seen of him, he can certainly wrestle and if WWE see him as a future top guy then I’m totally on board with that. With the WWE uploads, I know they’ve got their minions in Connecticut looking at our content. We’re on to you, Nick Khan. If they start uploading stuff from the storyline we’re doing for Season 4 then I’m fully convinced they’re spying on us.
JT: We’ve got our eyes on you. And release Mustafa Ali while you’re at it, you no good dickheads.
S: Let the man be happy and kill it elsewhere instead of holding him hostage when you clearly have nothing planned for him, you wankers. Oh, and Bully Ray can eat shit too, quit looking for a payday and trying to draw heat from your awful opinions you carny shithead.
JT: Yeah Mr. “You taught your daughter to suck dick” doesn’t get to say that Jon Moxley (welcome back btw, he looks so much healthier) telling a fan to shut the fuck up is bad and that he shouldn’t say anything. Bully has no right to tell people what they can’t say.
S: Talking about how he should take accountability for taking a step away. Clearly Buh Buh doesn’t have a fucking clue what taking accountability means considering Moxley literally saw he had a problem, admitted it, opened up about it and took time away to help himself. That’s what taking accountability is. In the words of Gene Wilder just to you, Brother Ray; You lose! Good day to you sir!
JT: So next I gotta ask, because it’s that time of year, who do you think is gonna win the Rumbles this year? And with that as the case, what do you think the 4 World Title matches will be at WrestleMania?
S: Well I’ll get one question out of the way and I definitely do think that Lesnar vs Reigns is going to be one of the four World Title matches at WrestleMania 38. I do think that Brock loses his WWE Title before Mania, he may also win the Rumble after losing his title. It was something I heard Solomonster pitch and honestly, I’m not against it because, who else can you really have won the Rumble? I guess you could say Big E is the other choice but after that, there’s no one else I see as a surefire Rumble winner. The Women’s Rumble I see being decided between three people, Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley and, given that she’s supposedly returning soon, Ronda “School Shootings Aren’t Real” Rousey.
JT: Ohhh I hadn’t considered Brock winning the Rumble. But yeah honestly, that tracks. I also think Big E can win to set up him vs Lashley at WrestleMania. I also think that AJ Styles is a real dark horse pick to win. He’d be a great opponent for Lashley (if he beats Brock) and I think they could have him getting revenge against Omos be a focal point of the Rumble. Plus, he has been out of World Title contention for a year, so maybe they do one last run at it.
Now for the Women, my mind instantly goes to Bianca Belair. Like they’ve gotta be doing her vs Becky at Mania right, right??? I also think some folks in contention are Naomi, with her overcoming Sonya and then finally beating Charlotte at Mania, or maybe the returning Asuka. I had seen some Ronda rumors, and I 100% buy her winning it if she does show up. Like, if she’s at the Rumble, literally no way she loses.
S: Yeah that’s the thing with Ronda, there’s no way she isn’t winning if she’s in the match itself. Unless they have something bigger than a Title match in mind for her, if she’s in it, she wins it. With AJ, as much as I’d love to see him get one more go at the top, I don’t see it happening at Mania. I think he’s earned himself a huge match at Mania, I just don’t know if it’ll be for a World Title.
JT: I will say that AJ will have to have some sort of big moment in the Rumble just because of Omos, who I feel like will get at least 8 eliminations, if not breaking the eliminations record.
S: See if he’s to break the eliminations record, he’s going to have to better Brock’s record of 13 eliminations. Even though I think there’s enough deadwood in the match that can afford to be unceremoniously chucked out, I’d be shocked if he eliminates half of the field. I think he definitely does the numbers of what a certain someone did in the Rumble we’re about to review. What’s your shout for the 4 World Title matches at Mania? Who’s taking those spots?
JT: At this point I have the matches penciled in as this: Big E vs Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title, Bianca Belair vs Becky Lynch for the Raw Women’s Title, Brock Lesnar vs Roman Reigns for the Universal Title, and Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte Flair for the SmackDown Women’s Championship. As much as I’d love for Naomi to get a big shot, I just cannot see it happening if Ronda is at all on the table in the next 3 months.
S: So you think when Ronda comes back, they’ll do her vs Charlotte Flair properly? That’s well interesting and honestly, it does make sense given how that SmackDown Women’s Division DESPERATELY needs a boost in some way. That and the reason being Fox would probably love to have Ronda on their Network as Women’s Champion.
JT: Exactly my thought process. SD’s women’s division is looking real thin, Fox would love to be able to advertise Brock & Ronda on the same show, and realistically Charlotte/Ronda is the biggest match they can do other than Ronda/Becky.
S: Now when you mention it, I’d much rather Charlotte and Ronda rather than Ronda and Becky because I think the build for the latter would be very much not my cup of tea.
JT: Yeah, honestly when that was first being built up, I found it to be pretty unbearable. Like Becky’s twitter became unreadable, everything circled back to dunking on Ronda. And not like she doesn’t deserve it, but like I just couldn’t take it anymore. Plus, I’d hate to see Bianca get shoved aside at the least minute by a returning big name. She’s worked hard the last 5 months to really gain back the credibility she lost after that terribly booked Becky return at Summerslam.
S: Yeah that’s the main issue I’d have with it, they’d book so unbearably to the point where I’d probably switch my brain off while it happened.
JT: So wrestling aside, what have you been up to? Watch anything fun lately?
S: Honestly, not much, I’m still currently on Season 4 of Parks and Recreation and I’ve been slacking on that big time but I am considering giving House MD a proper go of not gonna lie. It’s a show which is really intriguing to me and I like Hugh Laurie so that helps.
JT: That’s always a show that’s existed in my periphery, since it was really big when I was younger, so it always got advertised during commercials that I saw in between baseball and football games.
S: It was a real big deal over here too! Sky used to plug the shit out of it whenever there’d be a new season on the horizon, it was big and advertised in the way that Breaking Bad was for the eight or nine years for which it was on the air. How about you anyways, James? Have you been watching anything eye catching as of late?
JT: Well I’ve seen a few notable things! First off, earlier this month I watched the original trilogy of Star Wars for the first time since I was like 7 years old and my dad had rented them from our local library. And as somebody who was never really captured by the franchise as a kid, I’ve gotta say, 2 of the 3 made me get the hype. Of course, A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back are the two in question. They’re just so effortlessly classic. The music, the set pieces, pretty much everything Han Solo said, instantly Classic. Then of course, Return of the Jedi was a big old letdown for me. You just got the first half essentially where deck chairs are being reshuffled and all the coolest stuff from the last movie was undone with ease. Then of course came the Ewoks, who though are cute and a good Vietnam/Guerrilla war metaphor, are not interesting. Honestly the least enjoyable part of the original trilogy for me was the humor (3CPO was a character I just found more annoying than anything) and any sort of wacky alien gibberish (which I imagine is also supposed to be played off for laughs).
S: Ahhhh now that sounds like you had a good old time with the first two movies, third one not so much but I’d honestly like to rewatch the original trilogy sometime. It’s been a long while since I’ve done so, while we’re on the topic of Star Wars. Another Disney owned franchise, Marvel Studios had some movies which I watched over the past month. Those movies were the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies, which I did really enjoy! First one was great, the second one was grand and I did really enjoy No Way Home! Marvel movies as a whole are some which I find really tough to get behind all of their movies and series, simply because there’s just too fucking much of it for my liking and not all of the superheroes interest me but I really found the last Spider-Man franchise to be an easy watch as it came across as something different to the usual Marvel style.
JT: I’m a fan of the MCU, but I totally understand anyone who just feels overwhelmed by the sheer volume of it all. I was “lucky enough” to get into them as they were first coming out, so keeping up was not that hard. And I’ll agree with you about their Spiderman films, they’re some of Marvel’s best, and that’s because Spiderman is just such a great hero. He’s been my favorite for as long as I can remember. He’s just that perfect mix of funny and silly, while also being serious and handling the important themes of responsibility, maturing and doing what’s right. All 3 of the MCU Spiderman movies are in my top 10 for the MCU, and Into the Spiderverse and Sam Raimi’s Spider Man 2 are my top 2 SuperHero movies ever.
S: Oh yeah now we’re talking! Now, into the Spiderverse I thoroughly enjoyed the first viewing and I know I’ll be doing a rewatch of it again soon. Spider-Man 2, Sam Raimi, absolutely love that movie as well. It’s one of my early favorites when I was a kid and it features one of my favorite songs as it’s main song in the soundtrack, “Vindicated” by Dashboard Confessional baybeeeee.
JT: Just classic stuff, and one (if not the only reason) for me to tune into the next Dr Strange movie is because Sam Raimi is directing it. I’m hoping he can inject that classic Raimi energy into this, at least enough to make it stand out from the typical marvel affair. Because when it comes to the MCU, unless you’re a hero I really care about (like Spiderman or previous Captain America) or you’ve got a great director on board (James Gunn with the GOTG or Taika Watiti for Thor 3), odds are it’s gonna be mid.
S: That’s one of the problems I’ve had with Marvel, when you have a movie for almost every comic book series, chances are a good lot of them are going to be mid or grand but don’t go out of your way to watch type energy. A character like Doctor Strange should be having a movie which completely stands out if you ask me. And I also couldn’t give a fuck about a villain whose whole thing was “I’m want to take the McGuffin from the good guys so I can do evil things”. That’s not even an MCU, that’s a movie thing. You gotta have a better hook than that nowadays.
JT: It’s a proper movie trope of “when I lay claim to *insert item*, it will be my key to taking over the wooooooorld”. It’s fine when it’s done right but overdone it very much is.
S: Lemme say this, this sort of thing actually is done well in a series I just finished literally last night, and that is Gravity Falls! Seán answer me this, how familiar are you with Gravity Falls?
JT: Lemme say this, this sort of thing actually is done well in a series I just finished literally last night, and that is Gravity Falls! Seán answer me this, how familiar are you with Gravity Falls?
S: I am familiar with it to the point that I know the show exists, it’s highly regarded by a lot of people I follow on here and that’s about it! I’ve never watched any of it and honestly, I think I would probably enjoy it. That and Steven Universe are shows which I feel I have to watch.
JT: I know Steven Universe can be contentious, but I haven’t seen it so I can’t comment on it. But GF is just a lovely little show. It’s only 2 seasons (41 episodes total) and every episode is just boatloads of fun. It just nails the feeling of being right on the cusp of your teenage years with all the concerns that come at that age, while you have summer adventures with your sibling. Seriously readers, this show hits extra hard if you have a sibling. It goes just long enough where you wish that there was more of it, but it’s just short enough that it never overstays its welcome and becomes a parody of itself. Plus, it has all sorts of fun mysteries, uses cryptids in fun ways, and has some of the best writing periods. You don’t have to be a kid to like this show, I can confidently say it has cross generational appeal. Grunkle Stan, the great uncle of the main twins, is one of the funniest characters I’ve ever seen, he’s just so funny from the very start.
S: Well I must say that you’re starting to sell me on this show, I’m well interested in watching Gravity Falls now! I might even start it after we finish here today, who knows?
JT: I would highly recommend that you at least check it out folks. Like bare minimum, look up the funniest moments on YouTube. If they seem to suit your taste, the show is well worth it. Now before we get to our trivia, I actually got some wrestling merchandise recently and I just wanted to share because y’all would appreciate it more than my coworkers would.
S: Oh okay, you’ve grabbed my attention yet again! What kind of wrestling merchandise have you got there now, James?
JT: Well they’re only 2 little things. At Magfest, I’m always just looking for whatever I can find, because even though it’s a video game convention, the artist alley/merchandising is just general nerd stuff. So, I happened to walk past a little booth which had pins, which intrigued me because I like to just have little pins for my backpack. It just makes me feel like me, y’know? So I ended up getting myself a Mankind and Roddy Piper pins! The Mankind one is exactly what you’d expect, it’s his Masked Smiley face, whereas the Piper one is his red and yellow “Hot Rod” script. I saw them and I thought “when am I ever going to get a chance to get these two sorts of things again?”. So I bought it and it was like, $12? That’s a win in my book.
S: Nice one! That’s, well, awesome. You’ve now officially started your wrestling pin collection. The Mankind and Roddy Piper logos are easily two of the most iconic and coolest logos in wrestling history, so I totally see why you bought them. Two very good purchases for 12 bucks.
JT: The guy who ran the booth also had a nice little chat with me about who we each thought would beat Roman for the Universal Championship, since I had my Roman Reigns “The Bloodline” shirt on. Y’know the one, with Roman, the Usos & Heyman in suits with the Universal Title on a table with money on it.
S: One of the few good t-shirts that WWE has done in the last year and a half or so. What’s the quality of that shirt like? Is it a soft cotton shirt or is it one of those WWE thick polyester material shirts?
JT: It’s actually pretty nice quality, although I can’t remember if I specifically paid more to get the nicer material. But it doesn’t feel like sandpaper so that’s a win in my book!
S: Well the fact it doesn’t feel like sandpaper like my Elias t-shirt or my Johnny Wrestling t-shirt shows that The Bloodline t-shirt is a massive jump up in quality.
JT: Speaking of jumps in quality, how about we get into the fun stuff, our Recharge Recall!! Are you ready for some trivia?
S: Oh I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, James! I’m hoping to get back on track today so I am!
JT: Alright! So do you want to go first and prompt me for some obscure, vaguely related to our topic trivia, or do you want to face the questions yourself first?
S: Well, considering I’ve even ducking the honors of going first for quite some time, I’m going to curtain jerk this Recall with my cup of espresso. James T, are you ready???
JT: I’m ready!!
S: Okay, so this question is related to Royal Rumble records, but with a twist! So we all know the all-time PROPER Rumble Iron Man (not counting that fucking Saudi Rumble) is Rey Mysterio in 2006 but James, can you tell me which wrestler has had the most Iron Man performances in Rumble history? In short, who’s spent the longest in a Rumble match the most?
JT: Oh interesting, interesting. Before you cast of that fucking Saudi Rumble, I was ready to say Daniel Bryan Danielson Bryan has the longest time ever. But this version is interesting, because often an Iron Man is someone WWE is setting up to push, like a Bret Hart or a Shawn Michaels. However, to have it the most likely means they never really got out of the early numbers and never moved on to having title matches on the Rumble shows itself. So that’s why for my first guess, I’m going with the quintessential “it really seemed like they were gonna push him for years but eventually gave up” himself, Dolph Ziggler!
S: A good guess but unfortunately, you’re incorrect. Dolph Ziggler has shockingly only had one Royal Rumble Iron Man performance and that was in 2013 with a time of 49 minutes and 47 seconds where he was holding the Money in the Bank briefcase, the blue edition. Would you like a stab at a second guess or would you like your hint?
JT: Hmm I think I’ll take my hint here. I’ve got a few names in mind, but it also occurs to me that I don’t know how many times the “most Iron Man performances” is, and if the hint at all chips away at that, it’ll help me narrow down my choices.
S: Alright, so the record for most Iron Man performances is a total of three times and it was done across a five year period. Is that a hint you think you could work with?
JT: I think I can manage with that. So I think given that prompt, I’m gonna try and guess Rey Mysterio, potentially with 2006 as the middle of that 5 year period.
S: Shockingly enough, Rey Mysterio has only ever had one Iron Man performance in Royal Rumble history and that was the year he won it in 2006! Two guesses down, one to go. How’re you feeling about your final guess?
JT: Damn. I’m in the shit now. So I’m just gonna fire off a shot that I think has a good chance. Even though I used him as an example of someone who moved up, I’m gonna guess Bret Hart. Is the Excellence of Execution also an excellent iron man?
S: He most certainly is the Excellence of Execution, but unfortunately, he is not a record holding Iron Man. However, he was the first ever Iron Man in 1988 with a time of 25 minutes and 42 seconds. Would you like to hear who the record holder for most Iron Man performances is, James?
JT: Drat, I knew he had that Iron Man record, and I figured maybe with him finishing tied for 1st in 94 and 2nd in 97, I thought there was a chance. Mind if I throw out some other random guesses I had in mind just to see if I was close?
S: Oh go ahead, the floor is yours, good sir. What other names did you have in mind?
JT: I know the Model Rick Martel did well in a bunch of rumbles, I know Chris Jericho had a bunch of great runs over the years, and though this one was never really in serious consideration, I’ll just throw out Kane as a guess because he’s got all sorts of dumb records.
S: Alright, so Rick Martel actually was the Iron Man in 1991 and was the first wrestler to spend over 50 minutes in a Royal Rumble, a record which he set in 1991. Kane actually was Iron Man the year he had his 11 eliminations in 2001. As for Jericho, although he has the longest combined time in all of his Royal Rumble appearances, he’s only ever had two Iron Man performances. His first in 2003, where he also had the most eliminations and was arguably the MVP of that match, in my opinion. His second was fourteen years later, in 2017, where he spent an hour and thirteen seconds in the match.
JT: Wow I didn’t even come close. I mean my only other guess would’ve been Shawn Michaels, but I figure he wins in 95 & 96, but after 97 he’s out of the company and I just don’t know if he had an Iron Man run anytime in those early 90s Rockers/Heartbreak Kid runs.
S: Although Shawn won two Rumbles, both of which were back to back, he’s still only had one Iron Man performance, and that was in 1995! I found that properly crazy. Although he has had three Rumble performances where he eliminated the most men (1995, 1996 and 2010), and on three different occasions, he was one of the first two entrants.
JT: Crazy! Then who was it, because I’m totally lost? Who was it? Roman Reigns? Matt Morgan? El Dandy?
S: None of the above! I’m shocked it wasn’t El Dandy too, trust me, but the actual record holder for the most Iron Man performances is actually the same man who has won the most Royal Rumbles! That’s right, Stone Cold Steve Austin is the record setter for the most Iron Man performances with three in total. Those years were 1997, where he won the Rumble from #7 and lasted 45 minutes and 7 seconds. In 1999, where he drew #1 and lasted all the way until the end before he was dumped out by Vince McMahon, where they both lasted 56 minutes and 38 seconds. His final Iron Man outing came in 2002, which saw him last less than half an hour with a time of 26 minutes and 46 seconds. That Rumble saw Austin finish in fourth place where he was thrown out by Kurt Angle.
JT: I mean, that kind of figures doesn’t it? He was the biggest wrestler in the company during that 5 year period, so it only makes sense that he was on screen the most. Raw from 1998 to 2001 was essentially the Steve Austin show. I also should’ve given him consideration because he won 3 Rumbles in a 4 year period, which already makes things easier because with everyone else it’s a guessing game if they were even in every Rumble in a 5 year period.
S: That’s honestly one of the craziest things about Steve Austin during his tenure. The fact that every Royal Rumble event he was wrestling on, he was always in the Rumble.
JT: Nobody could ever get enough Steve Austin. Now, are you ready for my question to you?
S: I most definitely am. What have you got in store for me, James?
JT: So when I wanted to make my question, I figured I’d design it around E-C-W, considering this is a big event for them, their first Rumble as a brand and all that. So at first I thought about asking you about all the ECW Championship matches at the Rumble, but I figured that was a smidge easy, so I was a little inspired by your question to me.
So I got to ask you this: Who was the Extreme Iron Man? So out of every entrant to ever enter the Rumble while representing ECW, who lasted the longest in their Rumble? And just as a reminder, this means the Rumbles in play are 2007 to 2010. You’ve got 4 years of WWECW to pick from.
S: Alright, so if I’m going from 2007-2010, the first name which immediately springs out to me is CM Punk. So I’m going to go out and say it was CM Punk in 2008. Would I be correct in saying that?
JT: Well you didn’t have to guess the year, but I’ll give you extra bonus points if you can get that right. However, CM Punk is incorrect. Though he has an impressive showing in both the 07 (which we’ll talk about) and 08 Rumbles, he did not make it. Would you like a hint or do you have another guess in mind?
S: Oh hold up a second, by any chance was it the man who loves to fight? The man who loves to have fun, was it Finlay in 2009???
JT: That is…absolutely correct! He’s not who came to mind for me immediately, my first two guesses when I was looking this up were CM Punk and John Morrison. And while they have impressive runs of 27 and 29 minutes each, Finlay beats JoMo by 30 seconds with a dead even 30 minutes in the 09 Rumble. Good guess! Even though Finlay was on the Extreme brand when I started watching, that association never really stuck with me even though he did good work over there. Well done Seán!
S: I’ve no idea how I even got that because my immediate answers were Punk and John Morrison but when I did the process of elimination, I figured that it must’ve been someone from the 2009 Rumble and suddenly I landed on Finlay.
JT: Honestly as a salty and tough veteran, Finlay is a good pick to hang around a while, even if he doesn’t do much. Like in 30 minutes from #14, he eliminated nobody. But I don’t think he minds, he just loves the fight. Now, do you want to hear a “fun” fact about the final Rumble that ECW participated in in 2010?
S: Is the fun fact that everyone who represented ECW in 2010 all lasted under a minute in their participation?
JT: Yep! ECW only had 3 representatives in the Rumble: Zack Ryder, Shelton Benjamin and Yoshi Tatsu. Zack infamously interrupted CM Punk’s sermon, got popped with the microphone and tossed in 32 seconds. Benjamin came into the Rumble with only Shawn Michaels & John Cena in the ring, did a few moves on Cena & Michaels, and got tossed out by John going for Paydirt after 48 seconds. Then Yoshi Tatsu came in one entrant later, and did the same thing as Shelton only with somehow even less excitement, tossed by John Cena after 29 seconds. ECW never managed to get a full third of the Rumble like you’d mathematically expected, and getting barely a 10th with absolutely no standouts was obvious proof the brand was on death’s door.
S: That was the booking of one brand which showed that they were planning to put WWECW out of their damn misery. Although I would say that in this Rumble that we’re about to review, ECW definitely got an alright showing.
JT: Yeah their first showing in the Rumble went a lot better than their last. So how about we get to that? How about we leave the Recharge behind and get to our main event?
S: Good thing you asked, James, because I’ve just finished my double espresso, so I’ve got the right energy boost! Let’s do a main event!
———————
San Antonio SuperShowdown
JT: It’s time for our MAIN EVENT!! It’s the 2007 Royal Rumble match! Quickly before we get to that though, we’ve got 2 quick little backstage segments I’ll speed through. Just like earlier, we’ve got our GMs and Kelly Kelly backstage as the numbers are drawn from the tumbler. Kevin Thorn and Ariel Backstage being horny as they get Big Kev gets his number. Teddy says there are some freaks on ECW, and of course SD oddball Hornswoggle goes to potentially get a number. Coachman remarks that he hopes there aren’t any “small” numbers in there, so Swoggle bites Coach him. As the Leprechaun is all pleased with himself, he backs into The Great Khali and Swoggle runs off scared. Khali reaches in and grabs multiple numbers, Coach nervously tells him he can only have 1, so he drops them on the floor and leaves. Of course, that’s a perfect opportunity for Kelly goes to pick them up (which gets a big pop). She then says “These are the biggest balls I’ve ever held” as Ron Simmons comes in and says damn. Classy stuff. And then right after the WWE Title match, we get one last segment like this. There are only 2 balls left in the tumbler, with Sandman walking in. He takes one out, tosses it aside, opens a beer, chugs it, smacks himself with the Singapore Cane and leaves, that’s the essential Sandman experience there. Coachman says tired of the weirdos and freaks of ECW & SD. And then in a bit that’s aged horrifically, Ric Flair walks in and Coach says “See now here’s a man with class”. Cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme. Ric takes the last number, Kelly holds him “You may be last, but you’re certainly not least” and they have an expose with him. Hindsight not helping this one at all. In general these segments kind of stunk honestly. I mean it’s better to have these sorts of things and let people express their characters than to just not have them if you ask me, but the segments we got tonight really just were not to my tastes.
S: Yeah these segments were very 2006-2008 levels of shit if you ask me and my god, this trend would continue into the PG Era for a good long while. You’re right though, these segments stunk. I’m pretty sure I mentioned the whole Kelly Kelly holding the big lottery spheres (you thought I’d say balls, didn’t ya?) thing right when we were doing our Rumble marathons last year where we watched every Rumble match and man, it’s shit. With Flair, anyone with half an eye on wrestling can see what kind of muddy water he’s in nowadays. Between the stuff on Dark Side of the Ring and him trying to be a shock jock podcaster. Sprinkle that in with him showing up to Trump rallies despite his daughter, Charlotte being engaged to Andrade, who is very much Mexican. They weren’t to my taste either, don’t worry. Extreme Exposé though, remember them?
JT: Nope, not really! But shoutout to Layla, she looked pretty different here compared to during her LayCool days. Not better or worse, just interesting to see how her looks evolved in only really only 2 years.
S: Layla has always been one of those people where everytime I see her, I remember she’s actually from England! Like I just assume she’s from America for god knows what reason. Maybe she’ll make an appearance at this year’s Rumble? Either that or her husband, Ricky Ortiz can make his long awaited return. RALLY UP!
JT: Well if Ricky did return, he’d just add to this little known fun fact, which is that the Royal Rumble, it’s all about the numbers! Jokes aside, we get the big Rumble hype package. It highlights history with Hogan/Warrior and Kane’s elimination record, Legacy with Rumble wins by Flair, Stone Cold, The Rock, Triple H and Shawn Michaels, Controversy, with the Bret/Luger tie, Shawn’s one foot and Vince winning it, and finally Destiny, as shown by Krispin Wah, Big Dave, and Ron Mastrio’s Rumble wins. This is the most star studded rumble in history according to the package because now ECW joins in. We get a few individuals saying some words too. Shawn Michaels: May god have mercy on the 29 men in his way, Edge: You’re not winning it and going to the main event, I am, Kenny Dykstra: At 20, I’m going to be the youngest man to ever win the Rumble, and Benoit, Khali, Kane, King Booker, Undertaker are all highlighted as contenders. It’s every man for themself highlighted by Rated RKO fighting each other on Raw. The Road to WrestleMania starts now, and we get the rules read. 30 Man, 90 seconds, both feet, yadda yadda. It’s the fucking Rumble for my money, just the best gimmick match of all time.
S: Absolutely! It is the greatest gimmick match that has ever been created and I don’t see anything ever topping it if you ask me. It’s stood the test of time and every year, wrestling fans will always get hyped for it. It’s brilliant! It was so damn refreshing to see a Rumble hype package before the match started which wasn’t all about those fecking numbers. The relief! This is obviously before the ongoing reign of terror which that type of promo package has on us.
JT: Unfortunately, I think we’re gonna get haunted by that again, considering I’m pretty sure WWE have uploaded this year’s “All About the Numbers” package to YouTube. It’s a novel concept, but it’s gotten progressively less fun to see it every year. But hey, considering his departure to Jacksonville, we probably won’t have to hear about how the combined weight is equal to X number of Big Shows!
S: This year, it’ll be the combined height of everyone that has entered the Rumble which will equal to X number of Omoses!
JT: So I’ve got nothing else to say, do you? Or should we just get into the Rumble?
S: I’ve got something to say. Why the fuck was Kenny Dykstra a focal point in that video package? Alright, that’s all I’ve got to say on that one.
JT: Well we’ll get to Kenny in no time. But for now, it’s time to break down the 2007 Royal Rumble!!
Entering at Number 1, it’s that dirty old bastard Ric Flair. And at Number 2, it’s another veteran! We just talked about him, it’s the man from Northern Ireland who loves to fight, it’s Finlay! And he enters his first Rumble as he reluctantly gives up his shelaligh. The bell rings and we’re off! Flair chopping Finlay, Finlay with a back body drop on Flair, trying to toss Ric out but Ric takes the eyes. If you did not read our 2003 Rumble episode back on Amino, I’m just gonna tell you now that I’m gonna try and go quickly through the between entry action, as usually there’s just not much to say. Speaking of not much to say, it’s Kenny Dykstra entering at #3. The 20 year old has been feuding with Flair throughout the fall, as he has 3 wins over the 16x World Champion. Flair gives the youngster a piece of his mind with his signature chops, Finlay attacks him from behind and the heels team up on Flair, until Finlay tries to send Kenny out, every man for themselves etc as they all avoid elimination at a point. At Number 4 Matt Hardy returns to the show, for his 6th Rumble, as he hits the Side Effect on Kenny. At Number 5, it’s the Rated R Superstar, Edge! Fresh off his biggest year yet, he enters the Rumble looking for blood! Spear on Flair, Spear on Finlay, Matt dodges out of the way of it!! Twist of Fate on Edge!! Commentary makes note of their intense personal history, of course related to Lita in the Summer of 05, but also Matt left Raw after losing a ladder match to Edge that same year! And he’s not Edge’s only enemy, as Ric Flair goes and gets a chair from the outside. He was at the mercy of a Rated RKO Conchairto not too far back, and he knows the rules in the Rumble are lenient. He’s looking to maybe use it on Edge but Kenny hits him from behind and slides the chair out, and Edge grabs Flair and tosses him out! Ric’s the first one out! Kenny & Edge high five, Kenny struts to mock Flair and then gets tossed out himself, Edge points to his head! So yeah, why was Kenny in the hype package if he was gonna be there for 2 minutes? I mean I get showing him but promo time? Really? I mean surely, they didn’t think that much of him considering how long he lasted in this.
S: It is something about this Royal Rumble which has always confused me. Kenny Dykstra getting spotlighted as a potential dark horse in this match just never made sense to Young Seán and current Seán. This is almost equivalent to giving spotlight towards a former member of Retribution in this year’s Rumble.
JT: Yeah considering the Spirit Squad got a rather unfortunate send off, it’s weird that they’d then quickly try and frame Kenny as a top prospect. Also with Flair going, what do you think of people bringing chairs into the Rumble? Do you think it shouldn’t happen, should it happen more, what do you think?
S: I think it should happen, but only when there’s a reason to do so. Flair bringing in the chair to try and get revenge on Edge works because Edge tried to take him out with a chair. It also works for this Edge in general because he’s a man who loves his chairs so he is. Like if everyone started bringing weapons into the Rumble then it’d fucking suck to be honest and it would descend into a weapons match.
JT: Let’s be real, if the Rumble match actually happened, with real, logical people, everyone would go get a chair. Like there’s no reason not to. But it’s no fun if everything is as realistic as possible. So I agree with you, I like to see it for a bit of variety. Have someone bust it or other weapons out if they’re a weapons based character or if they’ve got their eyes locked in their most heated adversary. I’d love to see someone try and bring a chair or kendo stick this year for some intrigue.
S: Yeah it definitely would add some intrigue. It honestly feels like it’s been a long time since we’ve seen a weapon of sorts inserted into a Rumble match.
JT: Exactly! I don’t know who could do it, considering weapon related characters just aren’t as prominent anymore, but I’d love for someone like Nikki ASH to get a chair and threaten it against Rhea Ripley. It couldn’t hurt to have it or something like that.
S: I reckon Rhea Ripley could pull off bringing a weapon into play in the Rumble, maybe even Shotzi Blackheart considering her style is very much of a ballsy risk taker.
JT: Well, we’ll just have to wait and see. So at Number 6 it’s the first ever ECW entrant into the Royal Rumble, and fittingly it’s Tommy Dreamer. He gets ECW chants as he hangs up Edge and hits a Basement Dropkick. Then next at Number 7, it’s Sabu, and he gets the crowd all excited as he rushes down to the ring, digs under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up outside along the apron of the ring near the entrance way, points to the sky and runs into the ring, going after Tommy Dreamer and hitting a Springboard DDT!! Up next at Number 8 is SmackDown’s Cruiserweight Champion and man with the most generic Titantron in the world, it’s Gregory Helms. He’s now on over a year with the title, having won it at the 06 Rumble, and he goes after former OMEGA buddy Matt Hardy, since they had a rivalry for a couple months the year before. First off, I know we’re both fans of Helms as the Hurricane, and I even like him as Sugar Shane and in 3 Count, but straight-laced Durag wearing Gregory Helms? That was never the move. So it goes to show the Cruiserweight Title was kind of running on fumes by 07 considering they just gave him the title for a year and said “Idk go fight Matt Hardy I guess”. And then for Matt, to go from the white hot Edge feud in 05 to wrestling on Velocity and having a PPV singles match and Greg Helms just have been deflating.
S: Not just one PPV singles match with Durag Gregory. They had TWO matches on PPV so they did. Great American Bash 2006 and then No Mercy 2006. Truly the peak of the brand-exclusive PPVs. I don’t hate this iteration of Gregory Helms, I do think that The Hurricane gimmick probably ran its course in WWE by late 2005. Like Helms was obviously still a great wrestler but that theme just screamed death for his heat or interest from the crowd. He would actually get a really good theme song the next month. I honestly think if you tweak a few things with Gregory Helms in 2006 then you might be able to have a possible solid mid-carder with him.
JT: But alas, he’s not even that height on the totem pole, as we can tell by the reaction he got coming out. But you know what did get a good reaction? Finlay threatened to throw Sabu over the top through the table. At Number 9 it’s Shelton Benjamin, who tries to throw Tommy and Matt towards the table but they both hold on and avoid it. Matt then teases a Suplex on Shelton through the table but Shelton avoids it. Ever since Flair & Dykstra went, nobody has left. But business is about to pick up as we conclude the first 3rd of the Rumble, because Number 10, that’s gotta be Kane!! Kane comes in like a house on fire…err no offense Kane. He comes in and shows immediately that his 2001 performance was no joke. Big Boot to Dreamer, Uppercut to Matt, Punch to Finlay, Powerslam to Helms, Chokeslam to Edge! He grabs Tommy Dreamer and tosses him out! He lifts Sabu to dump him out, but Sabu escapes, only to get sent over to the apron and this time Kane gets him around the throat. I was waiting for this ever since Sabu came in, Kane hoists him up, and throws him down with a Chokeslam that sends Sabu exploding through the table and out of the Rumble. Simply one of the best Rumble eliminations ever.
S: It’s a fucking all-timer in terms of Rumble eliminations. It’s just so damn cool to see a table be used in a Rumble as well, especially when it’s being used as a way to eliminate someone! Kane honestly looked like such a beast here where it really makes me wonder why they wouldn’t have an honest go at him being some sort of champion. He’s in that Jake Roberts circa 1990 position where he’s probably above the mid card title but he’s not going to be World Champion any time soon. This is one of the first Rumble eliminations I can remember seeing, and it’s still so damn awesome. Popped the crowd huge style and it never fails to get a reaction out of me.
JT: I was actually going to ask, do you think Kane in the Rumble is peak Kane? Because honestly I think Kane as a wrestler is at his best during run ins and the Rumble. It’s just when all his best skills shine through if you ask me. You get the music, the pyro, he usually does all his best moves in a row, and he is always booked like a monster badass. When Kane’s stuff is bad is when he has storylines or has real long PPV matches. He’s never been a work rate guy, but you give me Kane entering a fray and clearing house? That’s what I love the most from his career. The 2001 Rumble and his 2000 Return to Raw are my favorite Kane things.
S: Kane in 2001 was just on a roll in general really. As Adam Bibilo from the AE Podcast has said, and I totally agree with him, Vest Kane is definitely Best Kane. To go back to your initial question though, I do think that Kane tends to be at his best doing run-ins, during Rumble matches and cleaning house because he’s so damn good at it. I don’t think anybody clears a ring better than Kane, maybe Stone Cold but that’s all who comes to mind for me. On top of those favorite Kane things, I do love his match at Mania X-7 with Raven and Big Show and also, his entrance on Raw where he comes out in the shackles and the police have to uncuff him. He enters the ring just as the breakdown for Slow Chemical kicks in, a big explosion. Fucking awesome.
JT: Luckily for Raw, Eric Bischoff is no longer around, despite Kane not murdering him like he could have. So as Kane has mopped up both ECW guys, another comes in to replace them, because in his first Rumble at Number 11, it’s CM Punk. He hits the Big Knee in the corner on Edge and then tries to dump him out but Finlay stops that. There’s a CM Punk chant, not loud but it’s there. At Number 12, you can’t have a Royal Rumble without Royalty, it’s King Booker! He’s a Native Texan wrestling in Texas and he was one of the biggest risers of 2006! In his 4 prior years in WWE, it felt like had repeatedly slammed his head into the glass ceiling, failing to beat top guys during the invasion, losing to Triple H for the World Title at WrestleMania 19, failing to beat JBL for the Undisputed Title in 2005. But things turned around for him in 2006 as he was the 2006 King of the Ring, he won the World Championship from Rey Mysterio that summer, and surrounding himself with a Court made up of Sir Finlay, William Regal and of course Queen Sharmell as he feuded with Batista through the Fall. Nice to see Booker get one more crack at the Main Event in a fresh gimmick if you ask me!
S: If there ever was a more deserved wrestler being a top champion on a brand in 2006, it was definitely Booker. The guy had really earned it in 2003 and got fucked over, which we’ve talked about extensively in our first season. King Booker is most definitely a ridiculous gimmick but Booker made it work because of how charismatic he is. I know his reign as World Champion was very much like JBL where he’d win by the skin of his teeth each time but he was the right foil for Big Dave. All hail King Booker!
JT: And luckily for Booker, he’s in the Rumble with one of his knights! It’s Booker, Finlay, Shelton, Matt, Punk, Edge & Kane in until Super Crazy, with his Mexicool lawnmower theme, enters at #13. With a Mexican in the ring, JBL does his yearly burial of Mil Mascaras. Finlay goes after Booker for a period despite being in Booker’s Court last year. Number 14 is Jeff Hardy joining Matt to a big pop, still clutching his ribs from earlier. Matt & Jeff work together to go after Finlay, then Edge, then Super Crazy, and they try to clothesline Kane over, but he gets bud hands around both their throats, only for Matt & Jeff to cut him off and then hit Poetry in Motion on Kane! At Number 15, ACK!! What is that horribly generic racket? Well it’s only Sandman and his terrible WWE theme. I know you’re not gonna buy the right to Enter Sandman but Jesus. JBL actually hyped Sandman up by saying Stone Cold drank a lot of beer and won a lot of rumbles, maybe Sandman is next! And he’s got something Stone Cold never had, he’s got a Singapore Cane with him! He comes out through the crowd, slides in the ring and starts swinging away! Cane shot to Jeff, shot to Crazy, he swings at Booker, Booker ducks, kicks him and throws him out. JBL says “he’s no Stone Cold”. I mean, Sandman is no work horse, so honestly I’m alright with him having a short Rumble appearance but come on man! That line in particular feels like Vince rubbing Paul Heyman’s nose in it, like “You did the same shit as me, I did it better, now I own your shit! Suck it Paul!”. But at least it’s an easy payday for Hardcore Hak?
S: I think that last sentence just sums up Sandman’s tenure in WWE really, doesn’t it? An easy payday it absolutely was. You could’ve given him about three minutes until Orton comes in or something to be fair, he doesn’t have to do much, he can just drink beer and have a shmoke.
JT: And speak of the devil, Number 16 is last year’s Rumble runner up Randy Orton! Now that he’s in, this is trouble for the field. First of all, now the reigning World Tag Champs Rated RKO are in the Rumble together. They dump out Super Crazy together, Orton hits his Headlock Backbreaker on Matt, then he dumps Matt as Edge throws out Jeff. On top of their teamwork being a problem, Randy Orton is another guy who absolutely thrives in the Rumble. I’m hesitant to say Rumble Randy is peak Randy like I said with Kane, mostly because Randy has at points been a very compelling character throughout his career. However, I’d argue that on average, Randy Orton is at his most entertaining in the Royal Rumble. Like sometimes he’ll miss with some guys, next time out he’ll have a better performance, but you can always expect Randy to deliver in the Rumble.
S: Randy Orton is probably one of the most consistent performers at the Rumble. I’d argue that Survivor Series is also his show too, that PPV in the 2000s and 2010s made Randy Orton. He’s always brilliant at Survivor Series as well.
JT: Really, just put Randy in a situation with lots of people in front of him. As a heel, he can slink in the shadows behind his teammates and pop out to do something nasty when you least expect it. Randy as face meanwhile? He’s never been the most compelling hero in my book. But, throw him in a Survivor Series match or Rumble with 4-8 guys in front of him and I’ll be happy as a clam as he just hits RKO after RKO after RKO. Hot take time by the way, the RKO is probably the greatest finisher in the history of wrestling. I’m sure I can be swayed to other moves, potentially the RKO’s cousin the Stone Cold Stunner, but off the top of my head, the RKO has a slam dunk case for best finisher ever.
S: That I definitely agree with, another reason why it’s the best finisher is because it can be hit in any situation, at any time and out of nowhere. The best finishers are the ones which can be hit at any time.
JT: So now as we’re over halfway through the Rumble, we’ve got Finlay, Booker, Kane, Edge, Orton, Punk and Shelton left, as Number 17 enters the fold. It’s the Rumble Winner who shall not be named, and currently the US Champion, its Chris Benoit. He comes in and beats around everyone with chops for all and Germans to Finlay, Kane, Booker and Shelton. At Number 18, it’s a guy who is just sadly in the midst of a nosedive, it’s Rob Van Dam. He famously won the 2006 Money in the Bank Ladder Match and successfully cashed it in at One Night Stand 2006, to become not only WWE Champion but to revive the ECW Title as well. Of course, infamously he got busted for pot and then lost both titles in the span of a week. Since then he’s just been milling around on ECW, with his “face of the brand” status pretty much transferred over to Lashley. Still, he’s motivated to win here as he delivers Kicks to Orton, Edge and Shelton while getting RVD chants. He delivers a kick to Booker, and Kane suddenly tosses him out! The King will not get his chance at Batista! And he’s furious!! Cue everyone’s least favorite Rumble spot as he goes right back in, hits a Scissors Kick on Kane and tosses him out. What a mess. And I gotta ask, what for? Did this moment even lead to anything?
S: Good thing you asked, James because this did lead to two FIERCE matches between the pair which saw some 50/50 booking! Kane would defeat King Booker at No Way Out 2007 a few weeks after this show and King Booker would then get his win back on the following SmackDown in a Money in the Bank Qualifying match for WrestleMania 23.
JT: And that’s it? Thanks for nothing. I mean I’m not asking for a Booker/Kane WrestleMania match but I mean, it seems like they’re just kicking the can down the road.
S: Yup. That was it. It was definitely a case of “we need both of these guys to do something before Mania” type job from WWE on that one.
JT: Some real uninspired way of getting Kane out of this, which is a shame because usually he’s good for a big team up or he puts someone over by eliminating him. But luckily, there’s another big man coming in to replace him. At Number 19, it’s the World’s Largest Love Machine, Viscera. It took 7 men to eliminate Viscera from his first Rumble, so we’ll have to see if anyone can get him all the way over the top. At Number 20, back out for the second time tonight, it’s Johnny Nitro. Right now it’s Nitro, Viscera, RVD, Finlay, Edge, Orton, Punk, Benoit and Benjamin currently in this. Shelton nearly gets eliminated, but hangs on to the bottom rope to keep his feet from hitting. Impressive core strength, Shelton’s always been an athletic marvel. At Number 21, ECW’s resident vampire Kevin Thorn. Number 22 is also from ECW, but it’s the angry old veteran Hardcore Holly, for his 6th Rumble. Shelton manages to catapult RVD over the top rope, but RVD hangs on and stays in the Rumble. Not much later, Edge, Orton, Shelton, Finlay and Nitro all try to dump out Viscera but can’t do it. However, business is about to pick up! At Number 23, it’s San Antonio’s own, Shawn Michaels! And he’s coming out to DX music! His 2007 is already off to a rough start honestly, because at New Year’s Revolution, his DX partner Triple H went down with a quad tear. So now not only is he not tag champs with Triple H, but now he’s in the Rumble against Rated RKO on his own. But he doesn’t seem to mind as he hits a Thesz Press, then an Atomic Drop, then some punches and he uses a clothesline to send Finlay out! He was the Iron Man to this point, but now he’s gone. Shawn then turns and hits a Sweet Chin Music to Visc, and everyone teams up and sends him out! Next up is Shelton Benjamin, who gets sent up, over and out of the Rumble! And now for back to back years, Shawn has eliminated Shelton.
S: And at the next year’s Rumble, Shawn would eliminate Shelton again! I do reckon that if Triple H didn’t get injured though, Shawn and Trips would definitely have been Tag Champs heading into Mania rather than Shawn and Cena. Shawn looked fucking great here, he’s up there with Orton and Kane as one of those guys who thrives in Rumble matches. To go back to the guys you previously mentioned like Big Vis, Kevin Thorn and Bob Holly. What do you make of the tagline surrounding this Rumble? “The Most Star-Studded Royal Rumble in History”, what do you think of that?
JT: I was gonna circle around to point at the end, but we’re over 2/3s of the way done so might as well get into it. Yeah, the “most star studded Rumble ever” is just a marketing ploy, it’s not true in the least. Like you can argue that there’s a max 5 dudes in this who could realistically win, being Shawn, Rated RKO and two of our later entrants. On top of that, you’ve got a good deal of fluff like Kevin Thorn, Viscera being here exclusively to have the big man elimination spot, Super Crazy and Sandman just showing up and heading out, and Kenny Dykstra. It’s a far from a bad field, but most star studded? Nah.
And as for Triple H’s injury, I gotta ask. Do you think if he stays healthy, we get DX vs John Cena at Mania? Like Shawn Michaels vs Triple H vs John Cena, or do you think Shawn still gets Cena one on one?
S: Well, get this, James. According to Shawn himself, through watching his 2007 documentary, Heartbreak and Triumph a few months back, Shawn said that the plan was originally to do Triple H vs John Cena 2 at Mania 23. Which I find super surprising to be honest because what the hell was Shawn gonna do if Triple H was doing his thing with Cena? Personally, there’s no way that we don’t get a Triple Threat main event at Mania between DX and Cena if H doesn’t get injured but with how it all fared, I’m so glad we got Michaels vs Cena because it’s probably my favorite match of all time.
JT: I gotta think that’s Shawn being humble or the higher ups not telling Shawn yet so as to keep him humble or preventing dirt sheets from reporting it or stuff like that. I refuse to think that Cena/HHH II is the plan, like that just doesn’t sound interesting at all. At least at 22 Triple H was still the cocky heel on a high horse, convinced Cena’s only done well because John avoided facing him. As a face though? That’s not interesting unless you throw Shawn into the mix. Then you’ve got the volatility of Shawn not having won the WWE Title in a decade, Triple H’s need to beat Cena, Cena’s need to prove he’s better than both of them, and DX’s potential implosion. I refuse to believe Shawn would have been like, slotted into the Money in the Bank alongside Rated RKO or something.
S: Yeah for real, I’d be shocked that Shawn Michaels, during his second run, who is always near the top of the card, is opening that show up in the Money in the Bank. You actually sold me on a DX and Cena Triple Threat Match there! That does sound well interesting when you say it but we actually wouldn’t get it for nearly 3 years at Survivor Series 2009. I bet you all forgot that was a main event that happened.
JT: I don’t forget, because that was in my first year as a fan, and the first ever show I wanted to was the go home Raw for it! But anyways, back to the match! So it’s Shawn, Holly, RVD, Nitro, Punk, Edge, Orton, Benoit and Thorn still in this as The Masterpiece Chris Masters enters at 24. He does the least interesting thing that anyone can do in a Rumble, which is to enter the match and immediately goes to the corner to ground and pound. Meanwhile elsewhere, Rated RKO are going after Shawn, and Benoit knocks Nitro off the top and out of the Rumble. At 25 Chavo Guerrero enters the ring, diving through the ropes and rolls into the ring. He gets some Eddie chants, as Benoit tosses the second best vampire gimmick in WWE History out. 26 is MVP, who is still sustaining 3rd degree burns from losing an Inferno Match with Kane back at Armageddon. In a preview of WM23, he goes right after the US Champ. The herd continues to thin as RVD dropkicks Masters out of the Rumble. Commentary points out a fun RVD fact: He’s been in the final 6 of every Rumble he’s ever been in. Will he do that again? He might because there’s oh a few entrants left, as Carlito comes in at lucky number 27. The ring really is filling up at this point, and HBK isn’t helping as he continuously avoids elimination. The clock counts down, the buzz goes off, and number 28 comes out. It’s the star of The Longest Yard himself, it’s The Great Khali. And that means everyone’s gotta get out of the pool. Now I’m no Khali stan, but boy does he get a reaction when his music hits here tonight.
S: That’s exactly what I’ve noted down! I was actually shocked at the reaction he got but to be fair, he’s barely lost, he’s still being put over as a massive killer on every brand despite the obvious fact that he’s about as much use as a chocolate teapot but he gets a proper pop of dread from the crowd. Not one which is them dreading watching him wrestle, one in which they are fearing the worst for everyone in the ring. The way commentary sell it as well, such a good job! They put it over as if it were the end of the world.
JT: Yeah it’s easy to forget, but he had still only been around for less than a year at this point, and most of his matches had been squashes. He only had 1 PPV match before this, where he beat Undertaker at Judgement Day, and his only loss was in a Last Man Standing match against Undertaker on SD. So nobody has been able to beat him across all 3 brands (lol Khali on ECW), and on the go home episode of Raw, he won an Over the Top Rope challenge against 6 people including John Cena. He’s been pretty much unstoppable so far, there’s reason to be scared of him. Everyone just stares at him as he steps over the top rope, and then everyone goes down. Everyone files up to him one at a time, and everyone who doesn’t get a Headbutt gets the vintage Khali karate chop to the head. He tosses Holly gets tosses, poor helpless goof The Miz enters at 29 and immediately leaves as soon as he enters. Goodbye to ECW as RVD and then CM Punk get thrown out. He throws Carlito to the apron, Carlito hangs on and tries to Springboard back in, only to get a chop that knocks him back out to the floor. Chavo goes out after him, the mighty Shawn Michaels goes up and then down hard for the Punjabi Plunge! In about 2 minutes, 6 guys have been tossed out, and we only have one person left. But they’re basically a goner anyways, because Khali has squashed everyone like a bug. And you’d have to be something other than human to take down this Monster. GONG!! The last man enters the match, and it’s the only man to ever beat Khali!! Number 30, it’s the Undertaker!! Nobody has ever won from Number 30 before, but if anyone can stop Khali and win the whole thing, this would be the guy who could do it! It’s down to Taker, Khali, Edge, Orton, Michaels and MVP in this Royal Rumble. Genuinely, this is one of the best uses of the #30 spot for like, not a surprise entrant, ever.
S: Definitely! This is hands down one of the best uses the #30 Entrant has ever had because there’s been a lot of underwhelming #30 entrants. Tugboat in 1991, Adam Bomb in 1994, Crush in 1995, Duke “The Dumpster” Droese in 1996 are the ones that stick out but Undertaker coming out to stop Khali when all hope seems lost to a big pop. It’s so good and I must say this now before we get properly into it. Taker looks fucking incredible in this match. This may be Undertaker at his peak as a wrestler.
JT: I’m inclined to agree. Though he doesn’t come out in the full entire getup, he’s still in great shape, he’s got long, dark hair still, and he’s got the singlet (which imo has always been better than the leather pants). Plus ability wise, he’s at his best. Like I said, he’s in great physical shape around this time, and he’s just in his groove as a wrestler. Just physical ability perfectly matching up with his experience, so he knows when to what, what works and doesn’t work, and he’s got the physical abilities to do it all just as he wants to.
S: He’s honestly at this time one of the best professional wrestlers in the world. I’d say that from his match with Orton at Mania 21 until Mania 26, that right there was Taker’s greatest run in terms of how his matches went and an all time run in general. He was just on his A game every time he wrestled. The way in which he moves about in this match is still so cool to see fifteen years on.
JT: I know that people’s opinions about Undertaker, they’re mixed. Which eras are/aren’t good is a debate I’m always up for, but I’m pretty sure the consensus has ruled that yeah, that last 5 year stretch of a full time run is great. And honestly? I think the start of this year up until WrestleMania 25 might be the best segment of it.
S: Yeah, it’s definitely the peak period for sure because we get the feud with Batista, the amazing feud and series of matches with Edge. He had a proper banger with Jeff Hardy in an Extreme Rules Match once. Of course, he had two stellar performances at No Way Out 2008 and 2009 in the Chamber Matches. In 2005 and 2006, he did have some great matches with Orton and Angle, but he still had to do feuds with Heidenreich, Muhammad Hassan, Mark Henry and Khali in between. 2007-2009 is the final form period.
JT: So the peak Deadman steps into the ring, and he just goes to hammer away on Khali, but one chop from Khali stumbles Taker. They start trading shots, Khali grabs him for the Plunge, but Taker fights out of it, knocks Khali back to the ropes, and clotheslines him out!! He’s out of here!! Taker then goes for and hits Old School on SmackDown enemy MVP, and he tosses him out! Just like that, we’re down to a final 4 of Edge, Orton, Shawn & Undertaker! Now this is where the “most star studded Rumble ever” goes into play, this is a great Final 4, especially in hindsight. Like you’ve really got 4 wrestlers at the top of their games.
S: This is a final four that is fucking stacked too. You’ve got Edge, who is off the back of a whopper 2006. Randy Orton, who is due to have a big year in 2007. On top of those two, you have the two living legends in Michaels and Taker who are both still at the top of their games in their 40s. It’s a brilliant final four where the billing for this Rumble match finally makes sense. I see it now!
JT: But of course as we say that, MVP just has to sneak his way into the picture, as he goes and grabs a chair. Is he gonna use it himself, is he giving it to someone? We don’t get to see that, but we do get to see Undertaker nearly throw Edge out, only to turn around and eat a chair shot from Orton!! And just like that, the heels have turned the tide in a bad way! Taker was the freshest, but that chair to the skull goes a long way to even things out. Now Randy is waiting to deliver the finishing blow to Taker, waiting for him to get up to swing again. But what Orton doesn’t see is that behind him, it looks like Edge is lining up a Spear! Edge runs forward, Orton nearly swings and hits him! Was Edge going to betray Orton? Will the egos of Rated RKO blow up now of all times? Nope! Out of nowhere, RKO to HBK!! Edge and Orton talk things out and go after the bloody Undertaker as HBK rolls to the floor. It’s 2 on 1, but Undertaker starts coming back! He hits Corner Splashes on both, he goes for a Double Chokeslam, they kick him and go for a Double Clothesline, hit Taker ducks and hits both of them! Snake Eyes and a Big Boot on Edge, he goozles Orton, but then Edge with a direct hit with the Spear!! And he follows it up with a Chair Shot!! But if that’s not enough, Edge goes and gets another chair, obviously looking for the Conchairto that will dash Undertaker’s chances. But before Rated RKO can do that, Shawn makes his way back in the ring and Edge points him out, so Orton runs at him and gets sent up and out of the Rumble!! Edge swings and misses with the chair, and gets a Superkick to eliminate him!! Goodbye Rated RKO, we’re down to our final 2!! And before we talk about the final showdown and the inevitable end of this match, I just want to say, it’s so refreshing to have a “any man for themselves” situation where two heels are teaming up and they just don’t turn on each other to lose? Like look at how Edge & Orton went down compared to the worst example I can think of, Big Show and Kane in the 2015 Rumble.
S: Oh god, I forgot about that bundle of miserable booking! It’s easily the most miserable Royal Rumble match I’ve ever seen. Big Show and Kane running amok in their mid-40s, picking up all the fan favorites and throwing them out like bags of shite. This however, was brilliant from Edge and Orton. They come across as proper spoilers who choose to ruin the chances of Shawn and Taker by using weapons so they can fight it out themselves. While we’re on the subject of Rated-RKO nearly imploding, the impending match it felt like we were getting between these two never really happened in 2007, did it?
JT: Yeah as far as I know, we never got the match they teased, probably because WWE was in dire need of top heels, and having the Edge/Orton match would mean that they’d have to turn one of them. And the landscape of WWE in 07/08 changed drastically if you have one of those guys as a face, even for a little bit.
S: Oh definitely, considering how WWE looks at the end of the year with who their top Champions were. It would’ve been a mistake to turn one of these guys.
JT: Plus, one of them would have to eat an L in that scenario. Hey, maybe in the world where Triple H doesn’t get hurt, he turns heel on Shawn later in 07 and one of Edge or Orton turns face to even things out.
S: That does seem like a possible scenario but in 2007, Randy and Edge needed to go into their proper heel arcs first before turning face later down the road. I’m glad things panned out the way they did, personally.
JT: Agreed. Well, aside from the injury anyways. So just like that, we’re down to our final 2, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker. They’re both down but the crowd is still so excited to see them share the ring again. And then they blow a gasket as Undertaker sits up and Shawn Michaels kips up!! Only one of them can win, and this excellent moment is only slightly ruined when JBL says “How long has it been since we saw this” and King says “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it” says King. Fucks sake King, you were literally on commentary for the Hell in a Cell match AND their last match against each other, WHICH WAS AT A THE ROYAL RUMBLE. COME ON YOU USELESS CREEP!!
S: He must have been fed that line by Vince or some clown blarting nonsense through the headsets because for fuck’s sake, he’s been on commentary for ALL THREE OF THEIR MATCHES WHICH THEY HAD ON PPV. You were there, Jerry! In the flesh! It happened right in front of your stupid eyes!
JT: It’s a shame because this would’ve been literally the perfect time to mention that the last time they stepped in a ring against each other was at the Royal Rumble 9 years ago. Like I know they don’t like bringing up Shawn’s back injury, but c’mon man! It’s now or never, and apparently they’re okay with never.
S: This was the original version of telling us that Triple H vs. The Undertaker never happened before until WrestleMania 27. They’re properly codding us with this.
JT: Still if you can look past that, this is a pretty cool moment. Shawn pounds away on Taker’s bloody forehead in the corner but Taker shoves him away, only for Shawn to leaps back at him again and again Undertaker sends him away. He throws Shawn back in the corner and nearly knocks him over the top, but Shawn manages to hang on. Shawn starts to chop Taker as he comes back after him, and as Shawn tries to send him across, Taker reverses and sends him up and over to the apron!! Undertaker runs and jumps in, but Shawn moves and Undertaker nearly falls over the top and to the floor! Both men have avoided elimination only seconds apart. With Taker still on the apron, Shawn charges and jumps at him, but Undertaker gets an elbow to knock Shawn down. He sends HBK across, Shawn reverses the back body drops to hit a Swinging Neckbreaker. Even though both are beloved, the San Antonio crowd is still pulling for Shawn, even as he runs into a big boot. Undertaker lifts HBK and puts him on the apron, but Michael’s holds on and sends Taker into the turnbuckle pad. This allows Shawn to go up top, only for Taker to knock him down and join him up top. The Phenom is trying to throw Shawn out, but HBK knocks him off the top and back into the ring, he leaps and nails the Elbow Drop! Michaels tunes up the band in the cornerHe kicks but Taker catches his foot, gets him around the throat, and plants him with a Chokeslam!! He slits his throat, signaling for an end to Shawn and the Rumble! He lifts for the Tombstone, Michaels slips behind and hits a Superkick!! Both men go down again!! But this time Shawn is up first, and he’s got Taker lined up for one more kick, a kick that’ll put him away like he put Diesel away in 96. He’s got one more tune that will win him his 3rd Royal Rumble. Taker stands up, Michaels lines him up, Undertaker ducks underneath it! He lifts Shawn up from underneath, and dumps him up and out!! For the first time ever, #30 has won the Rumble, and more importantly, for the first time in his career, the Undertaker has won the Royal Rumble!! He kneels down, the lights go out, the tongue comes out, the eyes roll, Undertaker poses as fireworks go off to end the show! The Phenom is going to the main of a show he’s never lost at, WrestleMania has gotta be ready for the Undertaker in the main event! O Buddy o pal oh mine, what do you have you got to say about the end of this match, and this Rumble as a whole?
S: Whew boy. What a fucking final stretch that these two lads put on for us, but I will get to that in just a bit. First, what were my overall thoughts on this Royal Rumble match as a whole? I thought this was an excellent Royal Rumble match that had so many guys who really put in a shift during the 56 minutes it lasted. The lineup was the right blend of me having nostalgia for a lot of the mid card guys like rookie goofball Miz (who I will admit, this Miz was a childhood fave of mine), Finlay, Shelton Benjamin and a few others, as well as my childhood favorites like Jeff Hardy, Super Crazy and Carlito and just genuinely cool spots in this match. The table elimination with Sabu, fucking awesome. Rated RKO busting out the chairs because they’re the spoilerific heels, that makes sense. There was a portion for about seven or eight entrants where not much was happening, but that was to set up Khali chucking out a lot of the bodies, which to be fair, they did do a good job of putting Khali over as a monster when we all know how useless he is. I mean, he did do about three moves in this match: Headbutt, Khali Chop, and Khali Bomb, which has been bestowed upon Omos. The final stretch between Michaels and Taker, ooooooh boy what a fucking blast that was getting to rewatch that again. It was such a good reminder for how good a final two showdown can be in a Royal Rumble, I can only imagine what it must have been like to be in San Antonio that night because I’d say they were on the edge of their seat watching that. They essentially had a mini-match at the end here and it must have shown that there were definite plans for these two to face off at a future WrestleMania. I love how the momentum constantly changed, where it looked like Shawn could win, oh no Taker is going to win. That is proper drama in a wrestling match, the good kind of drama. The kind which gets you excited. This is an excellent Royal Rumble match, honestly in the top ten of best Rumble Matches of all time. One thing which the Ruthless Aggression Era never failed to give us during it’s six year period was that we always got a good or great WrestleMania and a good or great Royal Rumble match. Massive thumbs up from me.
JT: Yeah I gotta say, in the middle portions of this Rumble, I wasn’t super entertained, but what this Rumble does well is that it was always adding in another element, it was always building up to something. You had the table spot, building up Rated RKO working together, build up for Shawn coming in, buildup for Khali and Taker, it was well planned out. And even if those buildup sections aren’t the most exciting, we avoided for the most part the worst Rumble sections where everyone is just in a corner trying to throw each other out. Then of course, that final stretch, it was just classic. Like you said, it was basically a mini singles match between the two, with the kicker being either one could win at any time. It’s like they booked a Taker/HBK match and just fast forwarded you to the final act. It was just great. Now, I don’t think this sort of big one on one is always necessary. I think it’s okay to just have a brief little encounter rather than a big, dramatic closing. I don’t think I’d have the patience for that every year, especially because you’re not usually going to get people with Taker/HBK chemistry. But here, at this point? Huge double thumbs up. Also one of my top 10 Rumbles ever.
S: It’s a proper classic so it is. We both did the Royal Rumble Marathon last year where we both watched every Rumble ever and I know you actually ranked them from worst to best. So what was the top Rumble? What was your number 1?
JT: My safe answer is just 1992. It’s cliche but it’s just the perfect mix of genuinely good work rate by Flair, while being surrounded by some of the biggest and brightest characters in WWE History. Having the cowardly heel who so confidently declared he’d win it all, only to enter at 3, and yet still win it all, it’s just unmatched for me. Especially with Heenan putting on the performance of his life, which is really special considering he was always great.
S: That I definitely agree with, it was just the perfect match in many respects. The commentary, the lineup, the story and the climax of it all. Still holds up to this day really. Great choice.
JT: I’d also like to give a special shoutout to the 2020 Men’s Rumble. It’s honestly my second favorite ever, although I’ve got a mix of sentimental moments as to why. As a big fan of Drew McIntyre and Brock Lesnar, I feel that the first 16 entrants are about as perfect as a Rumble can get. You’re always excited for who is next, the story is coherent and exciting, and the climax of Brock getting eliminated is an all time Rumble moment. Now, the Keith Lee moment has aged quite sadly unfortunately, but it’s still a hell of a moment. Plus there are still tons of great moments in the later half, though I’ll admit it’s been a bit since I’ve rewatched the whole Rumble. And part of the reason why that one sticks with me so much is because of when it happened. I really enjoyed it a lot, and then 2020 went how it went. So for months, I craved that genuine fan to wrestler interaction we just couldn’t get, so I kept going back to the Rumble. It probably means that I like the 2020 Rumble more than most, but I won’t back down from my position dammit!
And I know I’m not the only one who has a special place in their hearts for a particular Rumble. I mean 2010 also has this sort of distinction for being the first Rumble I was a fan of, meaning I remember just every little moment in that match.
S: I totally agree with you on the 2020 Rumble. I think it’s a perfectly booked Rumble and easily the best one we had since 2010. It’s arguably some of the greatest booking of Brock Lesnar ever, and that’s saying something. He is booked as the King of all Monsters in that match, he kicks asses and gets a reaction. When people get offended by him, it gets a massive pop. That was the match which finally cut out any lingering doubts I had about Brock Lesnar in the last few years. I thought him entering Number 1 as WWE Champion was stupid but its one of the best ideas they’ve booked in the last while. Talk about 2020 being the year it should’ve been with that match. 2010 is a Rumble I also really enjoyed, it’s probably the last good Rumble match we had before 2016 because there was a real drought of dull, boring and shitely booked Rumble matches from 2011-2015.
JT: Yep my thoughts exactly, I imagine a lot of people came crawling back to the 07 Rumble during that real dry spell of the 2010s, it’s just night and day. The 07 Rumble is clearly one of the best Royal Rumbles in history.
S: Absolutely, it’s a whopper and it still sits on the top floor of Rumble matches. That’s all I’ve got to say on that one.
————————————
Powering Down
JT: But what about this show as a whole? We’ve gone through all 5 matches on this show, and I think there’s a clear divide between the good and the bad. As such, how would you categorize the show as a whole?
S: I think this is a show which had a fine opening, a bit of a dull middle, and had a final 90-minute stretch which was about as good as you’ll ever see. I thought this was a show which was mostly an easy watch. The middle section with the ECW and World Heavyweight Title matches were a bit of a trek to sit through. Hardyz vs. MNM was a fine match but was the prime example of what happens when WWE keeps putting the same guys in the ring with each other for a few months. Cena and Umaga obviously rocked and the Rumble match itself was awesome.
JT: So for me, it’s on a perfect 5 point sliding scale. At the very end the worst is Test/Lashley, just a clunky mess of a match. Then better but still not good was Batista/Kennedy, which had its moments but was just not to my tastes. Then smack dad in the middle is our opening tag, which was fine for what it was but what it was was just a warmup for the crowd. Then you get into the good stuff, with the Rumble just being thoroughly enjoyable. And then at the best point on the scale is Umaga/Cena, just an all around great match that actively boosts both men’s legacies. Career defining type stuff, especially for Umaga.
Now based on that, you’d think this grades out in the middle, but that’s not to be! Even though the opening tag was pretty nothing, it wasn’t meant to be anything special and it did its job. And the ECW Title match, despite being the worst match on the show, was also the shortest match on the show. Meanwhile the 2 best things on the show were the longest, so overall, thumbs up for Royal Rumble 2007!!
S: I’m on the same side of the fence with you there and for the exact same reasons. What is your Match of the Night and who is your MVP for this show?
JT: So, as I just mentioned in my little sliding scale thing, Umaga vs John Cena was my match of the night. Even though the Rumble was good, that Last Man Standing is one of the best ever for its stipulation and for each competitor in it. As for MVP, I did have Shawn Michaels in consideration, but again it was always gonna come down to the WWE Title match. And at the risk of sounding like a John Cena hater, I’m actually gonna give my MVP to Umaga. John Cena did very well in that match, but I feel like it was Umaga who impressed me the most. Everything he did in this match was great, no only on offense but his selling and bumping was great. Like, he had the stairs thrown at him and he threw himself through the announce table! And he took that monitor to the face! Again, John Cena did a great job, but I think my biggest takeaway was just that Umaga was so great. Congrats to Umaga on MVP, and Rest In Peace big man! Your legacy lives on through your matches, as well as your family, such as Solo Sikoa wearing Umaga face paint on NXT 2.0 recently.
S: Very respectful awards there, great to see some love towards Umaga. My Match of the Night is also Cena and Umaga in the Last Man Standing affair, the Rumble match was fucking brilliant as we’ve talked about but that Last Man Standing Match is just something truly special. It was Cena being booked to perfection, Umaga looked like a fucking beast among men and could only be stopped by being choked out beyond belief with a ring rope assisted STFU. It was absolute carnage but in the best way. My MVP is between four people at the moment, and those people are John Cena, Umaga, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker. The two who come close to taking the award would have to be Umaga and Undertaker, the two U men. As for who my MVP is going to be, as much as I loved Umaga, there is just something about 2007 Undertaker in this run of his career where he is operating on a completely different playing field to everyone else. I love making fun of modern day Undertaker as much as the next guy but Undertaker in 2007 was close to untouchable in terms of the form he was in. He was magnificent in that short spell he had in the Rumble, which he would then win and in that short time, he just had me in the palm of his MMA glove. Undertaker is my MVP for tonight. Well, that about does her for this edition of the Power Hour, but, we’ve got something to share, don’t we, James?
JT: That’s right! We slammed the door shut on the CWC back in December, and this Bonus episode is getting filed away in our Power Hour filing cabinet. But now, we gotta move on to our next arc, what will likely be our arc for the rest of 2022!!
Now, what will that arc be? Well, we here at the Power Hour are many things. We are wrestling fans, we are fans of the OSW Review and the Attitude Era Podcast. We are fans of sports and tv and video games and all sorts of pop culture. But for this upcoming arc, We Are One. That’s right!! For the next arc of the Power Hour, you’re either Nexus or against us!! It’s fine for JT and Seán to go back 12 years to the explosive formation of the Nexus, a group that was supposed to change WWE forever, but in hindsight, is more of just a sign of the times and WWE’s trouble to get new stars to stick despite throwing everyone at the wall.
S: I’ve got my Nexus armband on, I’ve got 12 Stones playing on repeat on my speaker really loud and I’m ready to get into this bad boy. I’m well excited to revisit this period because the run of the original Nexus is something which I’ve not really watched back on since it first happened! So a lot of our fourth season is going to be a reminder and possibly even eye opening because there’s definitely going to be a few things I’ve forgotten about. Traditionally we’ve stuck to six or seven partners for our seasons but this one right here, it’s a big one. Do you care to tell us what the Episode List is going to be for us in Season 4, James Sir?
JT: I’ll do just that! I meant it when I said this’ll be our arc for the rest of 2022 (if not longer) because the story of the Nexus was a story that was constantly changing even from week to week. So to really see how things started off hot and yet somehow fell off the rails we’ve got a significant number of episodes this time around. And they are as follows:
Viewer’s Choice Raw, June 7, 2010.
Fatal 4 Way 2010
Money in the Bank 2010
SummerSlam 2010
Night of Champions 2010
Hell in a Cell 2010
Bragging Rights 2010
Survivor Series 2010
Raw, November 22nd, 2010
TLC: Tables Ladders & Chairs 2010
We’re gonna see the Nexus come bursting out from the heavens, and we’re gonna see them come crash down to earth! All that and so much more! We’ll be talking about The Miz gearing up for the Main Event, we’ll be talking about Ireland’s own Sheamus, we’ll be talking about “who put the Undertaker in a Vegetative State”, we’ll look at the legacy of 2010s gimmick pay per views and more!!
S: This could actually be one of the most topic worthy seasons we may ever have on the Power Hour because there is that and I think so much more for us to discuss with our next season. Season 4 is a big one for a reason because bah gawd it’s going to be a TEN PARTER! Our biggest season yet and I am absolutely pumped up for this, James. It’s going to be a blast to the relatively modern past.
JT: I’m so excited to see just how weird and old it’ll feel to look at a period that I remember growing up and watching every week. I know we talked in the Hardy Heel Turn Arc about me watching semi-regularly, but I was watching and hanging onto every word of WWE in 2010. I mean, I was making YouTube videos about it for Christ Sake!! It’s going to be quite a trip, and I’m sooo excited to embark on it. And with that, we close the curtains on this bonus episode. Thanks so much for voting everyone, it really meant a lot to have you all getting involved in the Power Hour!
S: Honestly, it meant a lot for you guys to pick what we got to review. It’s an idea which we will definitely go back to in the future, when that may be? We don’t know yet, all I think we should do is just look forward to an era which you and I are both very fond of when we were both young blokes. We’ve had so much damn fun doing the Cruiserweight Classic and this bonus episode but for now, it’s time we move on to pastures green, or black and yellow in this case!
JT: So until we return with the first episode of the Nexus Arc, this’ll be goodbye from me James!!
S: And a chatcha from me, Seán!!
JT: Till next time, keep on rolling down the line!!
S: Look at that big train! It’s been taken over by eight men in “N” t-shirts!
The JT & Seány Mc Power Hour 