James: PREVIOUSLY ON THE POWER HOUR: John Cena is free….no John Cena is fired. He did the right thing, counting the 3 that allowed Randy Orton to keep the WWE Title out of Wade Barrett’s dirty hands, but he has lost his job in the process. Now it’s time for the fallout. How will Nexus respond, how will Randy Orton respond? Will the WWE Universe get a chance to say goodbye to their favorite superstar? How will the balance of power change in WWE now that John Cena is gone?
Seán: What is the fate of John Cena? Will he just leave and do movies? Will he just go back to West Newbury and hang with his family? Is it time for him to go home and be a family man? What’s the story with the WWE Title? Where do Randy Orton and The Nexus fit into all of this?
JT: All that, plus even more fallout from Survivor Series! For the second time this arc, it’s time for the Power Hour to get Raw!
S: Cue that Nickelback theme! We’re back!
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Booting Up
JT: Hellooooo and welcome back to the JT & Seány McPower Hour! But please, my father was called The JT & Seány McPower Hour, just call us The Power Hour! We’re back again as we journey into the darkest depths of 2010 with the Rise and Fall of The Nexus. After covering Survivor Series 2010 last time, we just couldn’t miss this chance to cover the next night’s episode of Monday Night Raw. Big, arc changing things happen on this show! Plus, the PPVs are only a taste of what watching the week to week product was like at the same time, and since we’re already getting our pant cuffs dirty in the muck, we might as well get all the way in.
S: Yeah we’re really getting our clothes dirty with absolute muck by reviewing another Raw. This was planned right from the beginning as well, we always intended for this particular episode because something significant may or may not happen on this show.
JT: I love beating around the bush like this. Imagine in the midst of our arc, we watch a Raw episode of Raw where the main event is like, Barrett & Otunga vs John Cena & Morrison, where the show ends with Otunga eating the pin and “Morrison picking up a big win here in Des Moines!”. So something big will happen tonight, especially for the purpose of our Nexus narrative, so have fun guessing. Seán, how are you my man?
S: I’m doing very well, James. As of right now I’m free from the world of college life, a bittersweet moment as I loved living up in Maynooth, but now it’s time to move on and get on with things. A few plans for the summer but we will talk about those in due time so we will. Maybe during a little recharge or something along those lines.
JT: Very reasonable. I am also in that in between period where I don’t have classes, with some plans to come. But for now, I am just enjoying the warmer weather. It’s finally getting nice, and I’m determined that May is probably my favorite month for weather. I’m a summer boy but I totally understand what my winter folks say about heat getting to be too much. Now is the time of the year where I get all the serotonin of being outside in the sun, but without getting sweaty and gross.
S: Usually whenever it’s warmer or if it’s warmer over here, I do like to get out for a run during the nice weather. Get myself into a good mindset, clear my head and perhaps have a beverage or two in the meantime. Could we say that you, Mr. James Tonjes, are a lad of summer?
JT: Oh absolutely. I’ve got a July birthday, I did most of my traveling during the summer vacations from school, baseball season is in full swing, and on a more basic level just being out in the sun always improves my mood. I’m a homebody for the most part, so I get why people say that winter is better because they can just stay home. I sympathize. But I do have to get out even during winter, and then I have to put on a million layers, and it gets dark super quickly, I can’t do it! I need my Vitamin D, it’s just good for my mood!
S: Ah of course, the J in July stands for your name and that’s when your birthday is. Baseball season too, we all know how much you love that old game. Will there be a trip to Citi Field for you during the summer season?
JT: Almost certainly! I just got to figure out when, and whether or not I’ll get other people to come along with me. We’ll just have to see. Even if the Mets stink, and they’ve looked questionable at times this year, it’s still nice to get out to the ballpark.
S: Get out to the ballpark, get a hotdog, catch that home run baseball. That’s what happens in the movies so I’m just going to assume that’s what happens at every baseball game ever.
JT: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off accurately represented the fun of baseball games, minus all the drunk guys. There would definitely be more drunk guys, especially at a nice day game like that. Otherwise, entirely accurate.
S: That’s exactly the reference I was going for, great spot there James! So we’re reviewing Raw right? Like the one after Survivor Series? That’s what we’re all here for.
JT: That’s right! It’s the Raw from November 22nd, 2010, live from Orlando, Florida! In the brand new Amway Center, opened up only a month prior. Any facts and figures about this episode of Raw?
S: Alrighty, so this show popped 4.54 million viewers which was 3000 more than the previous episode. I suppose the big conclusion of Cena being fired brought a few people in to watch. We’re still in Florida, Orlando this time and it’s in the Amway Centre. The first home of the WWE Thunderdome. The Thunderdome, number one on a list of things which fans should never be nostalgic for EVER.
JT: Things that we shouldn’t be nostalgic for: Number 1, the Thunder Dome. Number 2, this exact era of WWE! Shall we get into the show? Especially considering the culture and pop culture of the world was literally no different than it was the day before, except with no more John Cena in WWE.
S: Well we’re here now, should we just get this started?
JT: Let’s do it!
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Bad News Barrett
JT: No pyro, no ballyhoo, no Nickelback, the show begins and we start right off with Cole! With King next to him at ringside, he says that we are 24 hours removed from one of the most emotional, gut wrenching PPVs ever, where Cena counted the 3, handing the title to Orton and getting fired in the process. The Nexus theme song! Out comes Wade Barrett! Loud, angry reaction from the crowd! Damn, this has gotta be one of the loudest reactions he’s received from the audience for this whole arc!
S: Oh he is well hated here by this crowd from this entrance, is this possibly one of the loudest reactions he’s ever gotten aside from maybe Bad News Barrett?
JT: Maybe so? A lot of this arc, the heat has been on “The Nexus” as a whole, but this is all for him, and what he did to Cena. Speaking of Bad News too, as the crowd keeps booing and keeps preventing him from talking, he asks for DECORUM! Haha! He said the thing! Once he can finally speak, Barrett says that Cena had already decided that he wasn’t going to win or become champion, he was biased from the very beginning. That’s not fair! An official has never been able to put his hands on a competitor, and that’s what Cena did. He pushed him into the RKO, and it was unjust, unfair and unprofessional. In the name of justice, he wants another title shot, this time with a neutral referee, so he can prove he can beat Orton and become WWE Champion. We get the obnoxious Email Tone, which is probably the only person tonight who got more heat than him. As per usual, people hate the Anonymous GM and Cole by extension.
S: We’re getting close to the black tar heroin, I can sense it in the distance James! They’re starting to boo the little man, he’s turning to the dark side brother! It’s surely happening. This email tone was something which spilled into my family life too because either my oldest sister or my mum had that tone for their texts and each time it sounded, we just went “May I have your attention, please?”
JT: This gimmick ruined that sound forever! Now, what does that annoying fucker have to say? Well, the GM rules that there’s no doubt to validity of Barrett accusations, and he makes the assumption Randy will want to prove himself as a competitor in light of Barrett’s accusations. So Wade will be getting a WWE Championship match, and that match is happening tonight! Lemme tell you, as a kid, this felt like a huge deal! A WWE Championship match? Between the champion and someone who has a chance to actually win the match? On free TV? Sign me up!
S: After last night, you’d have to assume at the time we could be possibly getting a brand new champion. Will the third time indeed be the charm for Wade Barrett, of the Nexus and Barrett Barrage?
JT: We’ll talk about this more later on, but man, the rope is getting short for Barrett. He couldn’t win the 6 Pack Challenge, he couldn’t win at Bragging Rights, he couldn’t win with Cena being forced against his will, if he can’t win it now, the question becomes if he can even win the title at all! But, there are no additional parties tonight, no John Cena in the picture, both he and Randy wrestled the night before, this is certainly the most fair shot he’s ever had at the title.
S: Well even by Survivor Series, the rope was already becoming short in a sense. I mean he failed on his word in four of his first five PPV matches. Which is insane to think about considering he is meant to be the top heel on Raw or maybe in all of the roster at this moment. That’s not good at all.
JT: Well he’s got a chance to right those wrongs tonight. But he’s not done talking! He says he anticipated this ruling by the GM, and in preparation, he told John Cena that he is allowed to appear tonight. He felt he owed it to Cena, as a fellow competitor and as a gentleman, to give him a chance to give his final words to the WWE Universe. What an oddly empathetic gesture by Wade?
S: He shouldn’t be doing that as a heel for fuck’s sake, we’re barely ten minutes into this show and ALREADY the Cena is fired ruling has absolutely no effect over this show.
JT: If anything, Cena should be showing up tonight to officially get the “YOU’RREEEEEE FIIIIRREEEEDDDDD” treatment from Wade. Instead he is letting Cena get a final goodbye, for some reason. All night, Jerry Lawler keeps saying that he thinks something fishy is going on. He smells a trap from Wade. And I’ll tell you what, I agree! I don’t know what Barrett’s game is here. I don’t buy any of that “As a competitor and a gentleman” crap.
S: Why would you ever believe the dirty heel? They don’t make good on their word in favor of the babyfaces ever!
JT: Sting can speak to that! You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them, which is saying something because wrestlers actually throw other people pretty well! The only thing I got out of this whole “Gentleman and a competitor” stuff is that I thought about William Regal as the Anonymous Raw GM. I mean he’d say something about doing something for someone else “as a gentleman and a competitor”. Plus, I like the idea that they have re-hired Regal under that alias because of the trouble he had gotten into for corruption the last time he was GM.
S: Awh man, if William Regal got to be an authority figure in between his commissioner stints and his NXT GM role, that would’ve been so great. Even when he got to be GM in 2007 and 2008, he was brilliant there too. Some people are just born to play the authority figure role in wrestling.
JT: You have his runs as WWF Commission too! You could say they hired him back as a matter of stability after the year plus of Guest Host GMs. Alas, that was never really on the cards, and it doesn’t have to do much with Wade Barrett. He’s the focus here after all, he could become WWE Champ tonight, once John Cena says goodbye of course. Whatcha think? Good opening segment, bad opening segment?
S: Indifferent to be honest, like clearly the announcement of a WWE Title Rematch is good for the show but the whole “Cena is allowed to say goodbye again” really grinds my gears. It just renders the stipulation from Survivor Series a tad useless already.
JT: Agreed, plus one of my favorite moments from Survivor Series 2010 was Cena’s goodbye moment at the end of the show. He didn’t need to say anything, we all knew what had happened because of the clearly laid out stipulation. We just got one last chance for everyone, Cena included, to take in his last moment in the WWE. But in typical 2010s fashion, if it worked so well once, why not run it back one more time, with less sincerity and stakes than last time!
S: It wouldn’t be the 2010s without running matches again and again, and again and again, and again and again and again with less stakes each time.
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Return of the King (of the Ring)
JT: Alright so with our opening segment out of the way, it’s time for the first match! With stakes too! But before we can explain what the match is, and what the stakes are, we have a surprise from Michael Cole! And not Cole by way of an email from the GM, but something from Cole himself. He still gets booed as he goes to make his announcement, but he nevertheless drops a bombshell. Please welcome the newest member of the Monday Night Raw commentary team, Mr. CM Punk!
S: Let’s fucking goooooooooooo! Now we’re talking James! I’ve honestly been waiting for him to move into this brief commentary gig for the whole season now. Why? Because spoilers guys, he’s really good at it!
JT: I’ll take anything over the Cole, King, Stryker assembly we’ve had all arc. Revisiting this has just made me like Stryker less, I didn’t have much stock in the other two clowns before this. In a Season that’s had many repeating matches and motifs, it’s nice to get some freshness. Now Seán, do you know why CM Punk is at the commentary desk shaped like a table, instead of in the squared circle?
S: I’ve my suspicions that he is injured and he needed to do something but go ahead and explain the proper reason.
JT: No it’s pretty much that. He got hurt sometime shortly after we last saw him at Bragging Rights. He had just been traded to Raw, so he really hadn’t developed much of a storyline, so you can’t have someone injure him and write him off. So to keep him on TV, we’ve got this little gig! He had done Guest Commentary on a few occasions, so that’s how we got here. And here he is tonight, in his regular T-shirt and jeans, but with a blazer, how fancy.
S: Fancy, only in the way that CM Punk knows how. I will say, he’s got some great lines on this show. Such as saying to Lawler, in a question regarding how he got “The King” moniker. Asking him “You became King when? Back in 1958? Who did you beat? George Hackenschmidt? Farmer Burns?”. Just brilliant stuff.
JT: Cole explains that Punk is here because he saw what it was like when JR was on commentary for Old School Raw, well now he gets his buddy with him. Punk hugs Cole, shakes King’s Raw, says he’ll be a part of the team for the foreseeable future, meaning he’ll be here for the rest of the arc! Yay! And what match is he here to commentate for? Well, it’s time for the return of The King of the Ring! Just before this, after Barrett left, we got a big package hyping up past winners like Bret Hart, Stone Cold and Triple H, saying it’s where Future Champions are born and Superstars become Kings. Thus, Punk’s joke about how King became, well, king? Next Monday, the tournament will begin officially, going for the duration of next week’s special 3 hour Raw! Tonight, we find out who makes next week’s episode with qualifying matches. What do you think of this prospect? By that I mean the return of the KOTR, the qualifying matches, having the matches all in one week, let it all out.
S: Well like, it’s whatever really. It’s not like the KOTR winner actually gets anything aside from a cursed gimmick and no title shot. But hey, it’s a tournament and I like tournaments. They’re fun!
JT: Whatcha think about King of the Ring as a whole? Figure I’d bring it up since we haven’t had a chance to discuss it before here, considering what we’ve covered fits right into the gaps between tournaments. Anything you like or dislike? Any favorite winners?
S: Well I love the idea of it overall, the fact that the winners usually get to have the title match at SummerSlam is always a great prize for it. What I dislike about it is that in recent years, it’s just a tournament where the winners get saddled with a gimmick for a few months which could either be okay or absolutely terrible. Favorite winners would probably be Bret and Owen Hart. Along with Austin, Angle and Lesnar. The rest, you can take them or leave them honestly. I’m looking at you King Corbin and King Barrett.
JT: Yeah I like the idea of having this big tournament for a title shot, that launches careers, but I feel like it’s been too inconsistent for me to totally buy in. For every Bret, Austin, Lesnar, there’s a Mabel, Billy Gunn, Baron Corbin. And not even sure how to feel about the “king” gimmicks over the years. Like King Corbin, that sucked! But like King Booker? Honestly not that bad? And then you have Xavier Woods who won and kinda did the king gimmick but also didn’t and I entirely forgot he won it! So at this point, I have no clue how to feel about it, because I have no clue if it’s going to be total shit or actual gold.
S: It’s definitely a gimmick and a tournament which should have more meaning than it should. Like King Xavier Woods is something which should have resulted in him winning the IC or US Title in all honesty, I did like the idea of Woods being a King who is just so undisputedly cool. Who will be king this year though?
JT: Well we were supposed to get a new one really soon at the time of writing, but WWE scrapped the tournament in favor of “Night of Champions” instead. At first I was unsure about that, but considering they’ve got the new World Heavyweight Championship to crown, I get wanting to not overload the show with gimmicks. Maybe they’ll bring it back later this year instead. Or maybe they’ve learned their lesson and decided to scrap it because they didn’t have a clear choice for the winner, and only will bring it back if someone needs that KOTR rub.
S: KOTR summer PPV, replace Extreme Rules with it. Could be a fun stopgap between MITB and SummerSlam or SummerSlam and Survivor Series.
JT: Honestly in the modern landscape of WWE, I really like the idea of it as the October PPV. Rumble/Chamber lead up to WM, MITB leads up to Summerslam, then you bump HIAC up to the month after Summerslam (so you don’t have to stretch those feuds an extra month) and then KOTR can determine title shots for Survivor Series. Makes a ton of sense to me!
S: KOTR should honestly have more stakes than just “you are a king now”. It should involve a title match at the next PPV. It’s an effective way of building up a next challenger.
JT: Plus, even if it’s only a glorified “#1 contender” type tournament, it’s an accomplishment a star can keep on their resume for years. It was basically that for Brock Lesnar, but lord knows it looks like a bigger deal than that on paper. In terms of big accomplishments, it can be a step below Royal Rumble & MITB, where you know the winner is going to be a big deal in the near future, but they don’t exactly need to win the title this very second.
S: Exactly, it should be a method of creating a next potential top guy or solidifying an upper mid card guy as the future. When I say that now, they’d probably just have Austin Theory win it instead of someone actually good. Do certain people still think he’s the future? Cena literally sat with him for nearly half a day in total and he still brought nothing. To quote Eamon Dunphy “Found out that night, nothing player.”
JT: They’ve been pushing him as a “future World Champion” for over a year now, and the most I’ve seen from it is vaguely ironic memes about him being good, and hype from the lamest people you know. The type of fans who would’ve accepted any slop WWE throws their way. “No listen, Corbin gets heat okay! This King gimmick adds heat! It’s good that he’s in a program with Roman, really!” type people.
S: As someone once said, WWE diehards have just been beaten right into submission by their booking to the point where they just accept the slop on their plate every Monday and Friday. Tuesdays as well if you watch NXT heyoooooooooo! I jest, I jest. Not really though, that show suuuuuuucks. Ah no, anyways! What have we got for our first Qualifier then James?
JT: Yeah let’s get back on track! Hopefully this KOTR will go better than the past few….well I mean we know how it turns out but like WHATEVER! You know what we mean! So first qualifier, it’s Sheamus, facing off against R-Truth! Both guys have had some success this season, R-Truth having won the US Title and been a part of the Summerslam main event, while Sheamus has spent almost the whole arc fighting for the WWE Championship. But, times have been better for both guys. Sheamus in particular is in a bad mood after losing to Morrison yesterday. He’s had a bad month really, when you include his loss to Santino. But Punk has been impressed by Sheamus, nevertheless, though he has been equally impressed with Morrison. He’s not a fan of Truth though, Hardcore 2009ers could tell you they feuded in Winter 2009-10! He also does like Eve Torres, who is with Truth tonight, and though Truth isn’t doing “that crunk junk”, Punk says she looks like she’s having an epileptic fit. He thinks He doesn’t like Truth, saying he should work on his wrestling skills, because no way he gets through Sheamus. Your thoughts on this matchup Seán? Does it feel like a fair or exciting qualifier?
S: It’s certainly a qualifier for sure. I mean, you’ve got Truth who is really good at making others look class as well as being an excellent yet underrated worker himself. So with this, you’ve an interesting clash of styles between the two. Very much a Raw match but at least there’s stakes.
JT: Not to spoil too much of the show, but I think this is one of the least lopsided qualifiers tonight. Will Sheamus’s bad month continue or will he look to right the wrongs by getting into the KOTR? Let’s find out!
S: First match of the night! Let’s a go!
JT: The bell rings as Sheamus quickly takes control, and they’re really talking up Sheamus. Punk says he’d make a great KOTR, all 3 of them are talking about his aggression and anger, how he’s come further than so many in just a short time, every Jerry is impressed with him. This talk feels a little more hollow when you consider he’s already a 2x WWE Champion, but shhhh, ignore that. After a long headlock, Truth gets in a groove and starts to get some momentum going, his typical split duck, hip toss, and the twisting kick to send Sheamus out to the floor as Punk calls VINTAGE R-TRUTH!! Of course we go to commercial and Sheamus has Truth grounded again, having thrown him into the post from the apron. They keep emphasizing on commentary that Morrison’s win on Sunday was an upset, which given Sheamus’s accomplishments it should be, but it doesn’t really feel like that does it Seán?
S: Well it really shouldn’t feel like a massive upset to commentary because Morrison was a lad who they were high on ever since he went properly as a singles guy in 2009. He was thought of highly on SmackDown and for the last year, he’s been pushed as someone on the fringes of the main event scene. Probably just told commentary to say it was an upset because Vince probably hates him.
JT: I think it really says something about how WWE tried a little too much too soon with Sheamus that he manages to feel like “someone on the cusp of big things” despite two world title wins. Like Morrison has had a much more gradual push, but he feels on even footing with him in this program nevertheless.
S: Yeah I don’t know why they’re going all in with this “big upset” nonsense to be honest with ya. Feels like a dig at Morrison given he’s actually positioned well at this time.
JT: Back to the match though, as Punk emphasizes that you learn a lot from someone based on how they respond to a loss. Will Sheamus rise in the face of defeat? Maybe not because Truth gets off the mat with a stunner, and then dodges Sheamus in the corner. He battles back with punches, kicks, clotheslines. He runs into an elbow in the corner but then catches Sheamus coming at him with a hip toss. Punk says “Truth is like a rolling locomotive, once he gets going you can’t stop him”, and this completely throws commentary off course as they bicker about “rolling locomotive” for the next 45 seconds. At least Punk gets a good joke out of it, saying “R-Truth trying to be the little engine that could”. There’s gonna be some growing pains with this trio though.
S: Oh definitely, like having Lawler as the sole good guy commentator between two heels is just not the fit for this trio. Punk has some good lines obviously but fucking hell, they just bicker about everything like they’re Will Ferrell and Jon Heder in Blades of Glory. It gets grating.
JT: So the locomotive stops rolling as Sheamus blocks a Suplex, but R-Truth slips off his shoulder and hits a kick in the corner. He then goes up top and scores with a Missile Dropkick, but Sheamus kicks out at! Truth tries to roll him up, Sheamus blocks and turns it into a pin of his own, and though Truth kicks out at 2, Sheamus is up to his feet first, and he hits Truth out of nowhere with a Brogue Kick! K-Kwik is clearly out on his feet, but Sheamus wants the exclamation point. The Celtic Warrior lifts him up, marches him back to the corner, and plants him into the canvas with the High Cross! He hits it with authority, and gets the 1–2–3 for a convincing Sheamus victory. Punk touts him as a clear favorite to win the whole tournament, and it’s hard to disagree after that win.
S: Yeah pretty convincing win for Sheamus, he hits like all of his moves so that was cool to see. Especially the High Cross, that was a class finish for him.
JT: I’m sure we’ve said it before this arc, but it’s a shame they ditched it entirely, it’s a good move. But that’ll wrap this up, Sheamus is moving on to the KOTR tournament. Who else will join him? We’ll get to that as we go.
S: My money’s on whoever wins, if you ask me. That’s the ticket to successful betting, and now, a word from our sponsors at Draft Kings.
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2010 Raw Odds & Ends
JT: Up next, we’re gonna do a couple rapid fire segments. In between matches we have a few, completely unrelated segments, and there’s no better place to put them than here. Starting off, we get an advertisement for “The John Cena Experience” DVD. To summarize from IMDB: “A unique documentary following WWE Superstar John Cena in and out of the ring, including his intense preparation for WrestleMania. Cena shares his views on WWE, movies, his music, giving back to the community, and so much more”. So one of those “get to know your favorite superstar” type deals, covering John Cena backstage in 2010. This preview highlights Cena getting ready before WrestleMania 26, and he’s sporting a Gorilla Monsoon shirt, which is pretty cool. Punk quips that you better it now because it’ll be the only way to see John from now on, since he’s fired!
S: I laughed at that line, I’m not gonna lie. Also, I have that DVD! Could this be a possible bonus review on the cards??? It is on the Network as well, I’m just saying. It could happen man.
JT: I laughed at that line I’m not gonna lie. Also, I have that DVD! Could this be a possible bonus review on the cards??? It is on the Network as well, I’m just saying. It could happen man.
S: John Cena, now there’s a man who keeps up with the product! I’ve seen that clip before and it is very funny, plus very quotable. A common John Cena W.
JT: Also, “Cody Rhodes” sure is a musical name. Not one, not three, but two different theme songs he has had in his career would perfectly fit his name. Adrenaline, in my soul, musical icon, Cody Rhodes.
S: We all love to put our own words into Cody’s theme, don’t we folks?
JT: So that bit ends, with them putting up a graphic for Cena’s final goodbye later tonight. Then we go to commercials, come back, and LayCool are making their way to the building. You can tell this was filmed in 2010 because look at big old fedora on Layla.
S: That is most certainly a hat which belongs in a 2010 hip hop music video. What a fit from Layla El.
JT: So as they’re walking in, they’re complaining that their belt was stolen and it doesn’t even look good on Natalya. It’s unfair, blah blah blah, typical heel stuff. But once they step in the door, Security holds them up, asking if they’re on the list. Michelle is infuriated he doesn’t know who they are, but even worse he can’t find their names on the list, not individually or as LayCool. He says sorry but Raw superstars only. Michelle gets a little sheepish explaining that now that they’re not Divas Champions anymore, they’re not technically on Raw, but they’re LayCool! You gotta let them, or Mr Nobody, they’ll cause so much trouble for you! This is when Natalya walks in. He asks her if she knows them, and she says she’s never seen them before in her life. LayCool are pushed out the door and the door slams in their face, no more LayCool on Raw. It gets a pretty big pop too, the people love to see LayCool get what’s coming to them!
S: Your point of them being such Karens in the SummerSlam episode as well has so much validity too because this was a big Karen performance from them. It’s the comeuppance which they’ve always deserved as characters but never actually got. Decent segment even if LayCool rattle my cage most of the time.
JT: Also nice to see some Brand Split continuity! They only could show up Raw thanks to winning the title, and now that they don’t have it, tough luck! The rules got a pop, everyone loves rules!
S: We all love a bitta rules in our wrestling, don’t we lads?
JT: Speaking of rules, this next segment doesn’t! We cut from that to Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov backstage. Santino can’t believe they lost their Championship match last night, they were so close, Santino could taste it, and it was delicious. Kozlov tries to make him feel better, assuring him they’ll win next time, and that tomorrow is another day. But Santino doesn’t believe that, what if they never get another shot? What if there is no tomorrow? It’s not guaranteed! He’s so depressed, however will he feel better? And then we hear some soothing ukulele music, and Tamina starts singing for him! She charms the snake, calming him down. As a result, he makes the grossest face possible and tries to lean in to kiss him, but she beats him to the punch! She smooches Santino right on the lips, and tells him to call her! And yeah, that’s the whole segment.
S: Yeah this was definitely a segment from 2010 alright. Tamina, the queen of all of us nowadays whenever she appears. Fair play for playing the uke well though. Santino and Tamina are the new Glamarella. I shall call them, Tamtino.
JT: Vince sure looked pairing Santino up with Women didn’t he? Between Maria, Beth Phoenix and Tamina, that’s basically A romance storyline every year!
S: He’s like Dusty when he was the commissioner of TNA back in 2004 and 2005, a top shagger. Always with the ladies
JT: And now to wrap up this hodgepodge of random segments in a row, we cut back from Santino to Randy Orton. The most natural segway of course! He’s backstage, getting ready for his match, when Josh Mathews comes up to him. You successfully defended your title last night, can you do it again tonight? Orton calls Barrett on his bs, saying anyone who watched last night knows Cena called the match right down the middle. He and Cena were never the best of friends but he still respects him, and respects that he did the right thing. He guarantees Barrett won’t leave the arena with the WWE Championship. Nothing incredible, but it’s a Randy Orton promo, so it’s fine enough. It says what needs to be said imo.
S: Yeah it’s a run of the mill Randy Orton promo from this time, he nails the bullet points and gets on with it like he usually does.
JT: There’s really not much to say. So yeah, that’s basically like 10 minutes of the WWE product right there. Not 10 minutes of great PPV wrestling, this is a lot closer to what the average WWE show looked like at that time than most of what we’ve covered so far. This is why we don’t watch all the shows between the PPVs, this would kill us.
S: Yeah we’d be miserable pricks in our early 20s if we were subjected to watch this stuff for every blog we did. Even as a kid, I didn’t like the amount of promos and backstage segments there were on their weekly show. Even as a 9 or 10 year old, I got frustrated by the lack of wrestling.
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Need for Speed: Flop Pursuit
JT: With that in mind, it’s time to get to our next match! And it’s our second KOTR Qualifier! It’s Ezekiel Jackson vs Mr MITB The Miz! Before we get to that though, we get our hype up for Jackson in the form of “The Slam of the Week”. We see a montage of him squashing Zack Ryder, Primo, and Zack Ryder again. What a force! Now, the “Slam of the Week” was a pretty regular part of WWE content around this time, it usually did this sort of thing, that’s not really worth noting. I am harping on this not because of the Slam of the Week itself, but its sponsor. Seán, who is sponsoring the Slam of the Week this week?
S: It wasn’t Juicy Drop Pop, was it? God I can’t remember for the life of me. It was either that or Paper Jamz.
JT: This week’s Slam of the Week was only brought to us by Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit!! Now that’s a real fucking video game!
S: I’m not sure if I played Hot Pursuit or not but I can almost guarantee that one of my mates definitely had that for his PS3. He had the og PS3 as well, the big monster of a PS3 with the Spider-Man 3 font.
JT: Well I’m no Need for Speed aficionado, but I know that it’s one of the acclaimed games in the series. I also have fond memories playing it’s career mode on my friend’s PC. Just a great racing game, and one of the few popular “modern” racing games, since that genre has really been in a tailspin since the PS4/Xbox One generation.
S: Oh it’s been a washed genre I’d argue since about 2012 to be honest with ya, James. There’s not been anything going on with it. Then we’ve got the Gran Turismo movie coming out as well? Not a movie I’d expect to see get made.
JT: There was also that Need for Speed movie that got made, starring Aaron Paul. But the less I bring that up, the better. I don’t take solace in ragging on Aaron Paul. But yeah, unlike that much, Hot Pursuit was good! Good sponsor for once!
S: And a hot pursuit there is for the King of the Ring!
JT: So Zeke comes out, high fiving the fans, which feels kinda weird, but he’s ready to go. Cole has been waiting all night long for this, waiting for The Miz. But instead, out comes Alex Riley. The Miz’s protege, NXT Season 2 runner up, he’s here because 10 minutes ago, Miz happened to suffer an anxiety attack. So that means he won’t be competing tonight, but that doesn’t mean The Miz won’t be King of the Ring. After all, he’s been authorized to qualify for the KOTR on Miz’s behalf. Cole is crestfallen, he would’ve sent flowers if he had known! But all of a sudden, Jackson has gotten a much better shot at qualifying for KOTR. Honestly, I should’ve figured something like this would happen. Zeke’s gotten a bit of screen time lately, and I’m not sure if Miz really needs to be KOTR, on top of already being Mr. MITB.
S: Yeah there really was no need for Miz to be in this tournament at all. Like this should be the tournament for lads without titles and without a guaranteed title match like Miz does. I smelled something was up as soon as the match was promoted.
JT: But hey, it’s a good opportunity for Riley to get a spotlight of his own! He’s mostly been relegated to henchman work so far, which isn’t so bad considering Miz’s place on the card, but he placed 2nd in NXT for a reason. Can he flash his potential here? Or will he be defeated by ECW’s finest?
S: The biggest prospect in ECW since RVD so I’m told.
JT: Well Punk seems to think lightly of Riley’s participation, as he asks if Riley is under the influence. King Alex Riley? No ring to it. King Zeke? That sounds cool to him. But Cole wouldn’t be surprised if Riley won based off of his tutelage from Miz. They lock up and Jackson overpowers him easily, so tries to keep moving, avoiding a grapple in the corner then following up with a splash, and a Facebuster for an early near fall. Punk asks if he’s called “A-Ri” as in, like rye bread, because he looks stale, as Riley works a rest hold. He might not be bread, but he’s definitely a pancake after Zeke starts to pick up momentum, flattening him with clotheslines, then another one in the corner. Riley stumbles back into his dominating grasp and takes the ride! Uranage, up and down: 1–2—3. Ezekiel Jackson pretty much dominated this one, making mince meat out of Alex Riley to qualify for the KOTR.
S: Yup! He made brown bread out of A-Ry, this was essentially a squash and once again I found myself loving the babyface big man running wild. First Big Show, no Ezekiel Jackson. Are my tastes beginning to change with age?
JT: We grow up loving the crazy monster man squashing bad guys, grow out of it in our rebellious teen years, and then go right back to liking freaky huge guys crush people as our brains finish developing. Now you liked this for Zeke, but how do you feel about this for Riley? Because I thought he came off like a huge geek in this. Just a total jabroni.
S: Oh he looked like such a fucking geek here, oh my god. Like he got punked out big style. Really looked like a chump but I did find it kinda funny.
JT: I would feel bad, but he’s Alex Riley. He doesn’t really stir any kind of sympathy or emotion at all. So uhhh better luck next time pal.
S: To quote Cartman, “he’s fiiiiiine”.
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Till I Ce You Again
JT: Alright everyone, get some tissues out, turn on Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt” and prepare for the waterworks. It’s time for John Cena’s final goodbye. We see him backstage, shaking hands with Eve, Truth, Santino, Gail Kim and Yoshi Tatsu. King is convinced it’s some kind of trick by Nexus, but Cena is able to come out, brrapppaddooo like usual, big smile, happy to be here. It really feels like business as usual, but we all know it’s not. It’s time for him to say his goodbye to the WWE Universe
S: For the last time ever, this is the last time Cena will ever be seen on WWE programming everyone. He’s going away to drive his cars and lift heavy things and star in Psych. It’s an emotional review for all of us here at the Power Hour Zone.
JT: So, what’s Cena got to say? Well, he says he is leaving the right way, not carrying someone else’s bags, not in a referee shirt, he’s leaving just like this, in his merchandise. Last night, Randy won, therefore he’s fired, but forget all that. Before this job, he was living out of his car cleaning toilets. He never thought this would happen, becoming a WWE Superstar. You only see what you see on TV; there’s a lot you don’t see and don’t know. He says we don’t know how much he respects this company, not just the company today, but every person who has allowed him to be here today. Austin, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker. When he first started, he just wanted them to look him in the eye and tell him “you’re alright”. He’s here with a smile on his face because this whole thing has been wonderful. He got to live out a fantasy. He won’t let Nexus over the past few months ruin what has been the greatest 9 years of his life. Life moves fast in the WWE, it used to be a big part of his life, but now it is his life. Every time he steps through the ropes it’s been a sacrifice. His family has been so patient with him, his brother Matt had a baby girl and he missed it, his mom’s birthday is in a couple days. At this last little bit, his voice actually starts cracking. He says after tonight, gonna be in West Newbury, and his mom is gonna get the best birthday present in 10 years because he’ll be there in person to tell her he loves her. And again, he can’t hold all the emotions in, he is legitimately crying right now. And fuck, I know you joked that this is an emotional moment, but hearing his voice break and seeing him legitimately tearing up talking about his family, it’s actually emotional.
S: It’s an extremely convincing performance from Cena. Like he delivered that promo so well that you would think that this is the start of a lengthy amount of time off. If you were to look back now, it’s entirely believable. There’s probably no wrestler who would have earned a lengthy break more than Cena. The only other person who comes to mind would have been Bret in 1996. Just two guys who did so much, worked nearly every show, were rarely if ever injured and just worked their asses off to the top.
JT: It’s especially believable because John rarely if ever pulled the family card. Like his Dad was involved in the storylines with Edge & Orton, but they also instigated that. Cena, to my knowledge, never brings up his family. Like, I didn’t even know he had a brother! He, rightfully, likes to keep his private life private, but acknowledging it at moments like this makes this moment all the more special and believable. He’s always going on and on about how much he loves the WWE Universe and how he values being honest, and what’s more honest than acknowledging you can’t always be honest? We can’t ever truly know him, and bringing that up at a time like this feels like him giving everyone one last little look behind the scenes.
S: Not only that but John Cena has like four brothers if I’m remembering that correctly. He comes from a fairly big family! I think he may be the youngest as well, I’m not sure. He’s either the youngest or the middle child.
JT: And now look at him, he’s just a mess. But that’s ok. He says “If I look like an idiot, I’m gonna be an idiot.” The fans are always honest, so if he’s walking out of here, he wants one last round of the way things are. Not some idealized version, the real version. He wants to hear every woman and every child say “Let’s Go Cena” and he wants to hear every guy over the age of 18 say “Cena Sucks”. It takes a bit to start up, but it’s fun to see him lean into it, and it was funny to hear Punk join the Cena sucks chant.
S: A very Punk moment on commentary again. He just couldn’t help himself but go full Bobby Heenan.
JT: Throughout his whole career, he has always been a hater at heart. Back to John now, and he says It’s your passion that keeps us coming back. He knows every time he hears a chant, he knows he earned it. He has one last thing to say to Wade Barrett, he thinks the kid has some talent and he wants to help him out. He wants Wade to do himself a favor, take some advice from a grizzled, ex-employee wearing purple, who may have peed in Wade’s coffee once or twice. Stop taking shortcuts. Stop trying to take the easy way out. These fans will give you everything if you give everything in return. Success is due to consistent performance day in, day out. They’d fine him but I’m already fired, so he lets Wade know that Karma is a Bitch. And if you keep taking shortcuts, it’ll come back to bite you. Look at that peppery language by John Cena of all people! Really adding to the firing angle, because ordinarily he’d avoid that sort of language. He’s a family friendly guy nowadays!
S: He’s fun for all the family! Like pop-up pirates. I do like how he’s going out giving solid advice to Wade on his way out. Although, it is very cold advice too. Like I could imagine him scorching Austin Theory and Alex Riley with this little bit.
JT: Yeah it’s biting, but also it’s fully in character. John Cena the character believes nobody is irredeemable. If he can put Wade on the right path, all wrongs will be forgiven. But, we gotta blur more lines, because John brings up agent Billy Kidman, who is probably ready to strangle him because he’s already gone over his allotted time. He says thank yous will take all night, so he’ll just leave it to one last thank you. Thank you to the WWE Universe. Thank you for letting me share my life with you, thank you for understanding all this, thank you for standing up for the WWE, thank you for watching whenever we’re on. Thank you for allowing idiots like me to live this wonderful dream, I love you to death. He kisses the dog tags, drops the mic and leaves to Cena chants. He gives a salute and leaves. Aside from the Stand Up for WWE mention, real genuine stuff! The type of promo that makes even the most ardent Cena hater go “that’s why he got to his spot”. Can’t ask for much more from him in his position.
S: It’s EXACTLY the type of gracious promo that a guy in his top position in the company should be cutting. He comes across as the most likable guy on the roster. And just an overall good human being, thankful for every fan that’s come to watch him. Thankful for everyone he’s worked with. Even though we know what happens with this, it is genuinely a really nice promo from a great lad.
JT: Really, our foresight is the only thing I can criticize this promo for. But we’re not done with John yet! After his promo, he walks through the curtain and goes to leave WWE, for good. But on the way out, the whole locker room pays their respect. They’re all lined up, clapping for him, heels and faces alike! Or at least Ted Jr and Maryse and the faces. The last person Cena runs into is Randy Orton, and the two shake hands and hug it out. That’s it, he’s gone! He walks out of the building and out into the night…until Wade Barrett walks into frame! Behind Cena’s back, and he’s walking away forever, he gives Cena the you can’t see me. What a fucking dick!
S: “Awh that son of a bitch!” – Jim Ross. I thought this was class as well. Like such an effective shot which just ties the whole storyline together. You know well if this was done today, they’d do about 6 camera shots in this one moment.
JT: Yeah really just perfect slimy heel shit. He appears just as you’re ready for them to fade into commercials, and he mocks him, behind his back, when Cena can’t even fight back anymore. You know John’s gonna be PISSED when he sees the replay of the show. Barrett really got the last laugh on Cena huh? He got him fired, he mocked him on his way out, and he still has a chance to become Champion. Not what you want to see if you’re the WWE Universe.
S: It’s joever everyone. The baddies have won the day.
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American Bachelor Bryan Danielson
JT: Now though we miss John Cena dearly, life continues on. And in the spirit of our main event, we’ve got another rematch from Survivor Series. KOTR Qualifier number 3! It’s Ted DiBiase Jr facing off against the man he failed to unseat as US Champ, Daniel Bryan. But don’t worry, it’s worse this time! Ted gets the “currently in the ring” treatment. Man, this match, this is the exact type of match that made watching Raw around this time a real chore. Immediate rematch from the PPV, but with even less stakes! Smack dab in the middle of the show! Chew on that, slap nuts!
S: Yeah DiBiase is officially fucking dead in the water now, isn’t he? This was surely the point where they just gave up on this dude. Getting the “currently in the ring” treatment? Oh brother, you’re so done.
JT: Meanwhile, D-Bry’s stock is only going up and up and up! Why do I say that? Well, as he makes his way down to the ring, Brie Bella comes from the back to walk him the rest of the way down! Although, this seems like a surprise to Daniel, and it’s definitely a shock to Cole. I’m telling you, Vince loves the idea of characters who are “losers” (in his mind) getting with hot chicks. Tell me how this isn’t any different than Santino and Tamina!
S: It’s such a weird fascination he has with that storyline in all honesty, but I think I know why he continues to use this trope over the years whilst he was at the wheel for so long.
JT: Oh, why is that?
S: So first I must ask this question. You know how Vince lives in such a tiny bubble and he’s barely seen any movies, tv shows or knows anything about pop culture?
JT: Oh of course, that’s a core tenant of Vince McMahon lore! What, are you saying that Vince had just found out about the Big Bang Theory and decided “Loser + Hot Chick = Comedy Gold”?
S: Think about ten years earlier with the biggest comedy film at the end of the 90s. No, not American Pie. Something a bit more romantic comedy.
JT: Not the 40 Year Old Virgin, right? Honestly you might have to give this to me, one of my weak points as a movie watcher has been a lot of those 90s/00s tentpole comedies.
S: 40 Year Old Virgin was actually a 2005 release. The movie I’m talking about is from 1998 and it’s apparently one of Vince’s favorite pieces of media if the legend is to be believed. I am of course talking about the Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz flick, There’s Something About Mary.
JT: Wow, I genuinely didn’t know that! You would think that at this point, no Vince McMahon facts would surprise me, but I’m still surprised every time I learn something new about him. What an odd choice! Like, from what I can tell it was a decently successful and popular movie, but I feel like I can have a dozen studio comedy movies, and probably half a dozen of them with Ben Stiller, that come to my mind before that one. Although again, that might just be a me thing.
S: I think at this point, after seeing a lot of comedy movies from about a fifteen year time period with Ben Stiller. This is probably up there with the five I’d actually associate with him. So I actually forget how he came to see it but what I’d imagine it to be is that they’re writing TV at Vince’s gaff during the summer. They’ve fuck all to do and so Russo, being the former video store employee and film buff that he was at that time, decided to show Vince this movie which he loved. So the legend which spawned from this is that Vince has always wanted to do a storyline which revolves around a guy who was a loser, stuck in a rut as an adult who rekindles a love with a teenage sweetheart. Which is way too deep of a story for Vince to process but apparently that’s the rumor. Fascinating really, even if he is an absolute piece of shit.
JT: Learning anything about how Vince’s brain works is always fascinating. Because wrestling itself is already weird, but WWE in particular is extra weird because of Vince and his strange tastes. I wish someone would just pick his brain about all his favorite movies, shows, etc. because I feel like we’d be able to make so many connections we never did before. Or even better, we learn about what he likes and then his decisions make even less sense. Whoever eventually writes the Vince McMahon Tell-All is going to make bank.
S: I feel like Vince is someone who has seen very, very, very, very, very little TV shows, movies, not listened to much music at all. Like he’s always wanted to do a mighty mouse character in wrestling, a little guy superhero who beats up all the big men. What I know as well is that he did see The Wrestler in a private screening for himself and, apparently he loved it and cried during it.
JT: That doesn’t surprise me honestly. I know Vince comes off as an unsympathetic psycho, but I doubt even he could resist that movie, given how I’m sure he has seen similar things happen to many people he’s known on a personal level.
S: Oh Vince has probably seen his fair amount of wrestlers who gave off the Randy The Ram vibe to be fair. Probably too many in that fact.
JT: Since that’s sufficiently depressing, I think it’s time that I mention that CM Punk called Brie Bella a “4/10” at best. This absolutely bewilders the other two but it had me rolling.
S: Yeah that was hilarious, it had me in stitches as well. You can definitely tell that he said it just to see how the other two cretins would react.
JT: Also related to this romance storyline, kinda funny that that’s Bryan’s actual wife. Even reading his autobiography, I’m pretty sure he didn’t go into specifics about them falling in love, but it’s funny how that works out right?
S: Correct me if I’m wrong but this may be the time where they actually started going out, isn’t it?
JT: According to a quick Google search, they did start dating in 2010, so you’re probably right. Which makes how this whole storyline with Brie and Bryan ends all the funnier. But that’s for another time, how about we get to our 3rd KOTR qualifying match?
S: Take the wheel, James!
JT: After losing last night, Ted needs to get the jump on Bryan, and rushes him right at the start, catching the Champ off guard, hammering him with punches. Whether Bryan was thrown off by Brie or Ted just got the jump on him, DiBiase is really controlling the match at the start. He drops Bryan across the top rope, going after the mid section. He can only stay in control for so long, as Bryan starts fighting back with elbows then he dodges a splash and hits a Dropkick. Punk doesn’t believe in this rally though, he thinks Ted is going to win, he is due for a win after this recent rough patch. And right on cue, he catches Bryan with a Spinebuster! He takes a second to make the cover, and it’s an awkward one, one that the American Dragon kicks out of, and turns right into the LaBelle Lock! For the second straight night, Ted has no choice but to tap out! Daniel Bryan is moving on to the King Ring tournament.
S: Yeah this was a nothing match really, Bryan beats Ted Jr. again, moves on. There was nothing exciting in it either. Just a very average match really. Not much more I can say like.
JT: It was quite literally 2 minutes from bell to bell. That pretty much speaks for itself. Tax Fraud Jr is absolutely in the mud. But we’re not done yet! Nikki Bella makes her way out to the ring, wearing red (in contrast to Brie’s blue) eager to show her affection for Bryan. They’re pulling on each of his arms, showing that they like him more than each other, and he just kinda pushes them together, takes his title and leaves as Cole calls him a nerd. Nothing says “nerd” like having two gorgeous women fight over your affection, that’s what I say!
S: Nothing screams nerd like, not only two gorgeous women, but a pair of hot twins fighting for your affection. Like what are you on about Cole? This is like every straight male in 2010s dream!
JT: As strange as that whole ordeal may be, the prospect of Bryan entering the KOTR is at least interesting. Who knows, having a fast, young, midcard stud competing in the tournament might make it a very watchable tournament. You gotta believe that’s the hope anyways.
S: Using Bryan in any tournament is a massive gain if you ask me. He adds everything and more with his inclusion.
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New Champ Natty
JT: Up next, we’ve got our new Divas Champion in action! After finally toppling LayCool at Survivor Series, with help from the returning Glamazon Beth Phoenix, tonight she faces the Divas Champ from earlier in the arc, Alicia Fox. It’s a good time to be Natalya ain’t it? I don’t know about you, but at the time, I was happy for her. It felt good to have a fresh face at the top of the women’s division.
S: I was happy for her because obviously I wasn’t too big of a fan of LayCool constantly being on top despite the small glimmers of Mickie James, Beth Phoenix and Melina getting a run. They were just ALWAYS champions, it got a bit annoying for a young mark like me.
JT: Plus for me especially, everyone who has been Women’s or Divas Champion from when I started watching WWE to this point had already won the belt before. Michelle, Layla, Mickie, Beth, Melina, they were all talent who really climbed the ranks before I started watching. So to see Natalya return with the Hart Dynasty, rise the ranks, and win the title felt like a real accomplishment. Really the only person who is an exception to that rule, as I mentioned before, is Alicia. But as we discussed in previous episodes, she never really felt like a legitimate champion. They never made her feel credible, just that she had happened to win the title, and her keeping the title would be the result of more upsets.
S: I mean she was a total transitional champion who won it out of absolutely nowhere. She was never positioned as a contender or future champion. She just happened to be booked to win.
JT: This is a movie which I’d completely forgotten about. Like I saw the advert, and I couldn’t remember it. Did a quick Google of it and I instantly recognised the poster. It’s very Dwayne 2010.
S: This is a movie which I’d completely forgotten about. Like I saw the advert, and I couldn’t remember it. Did a quick Google of it and I instantly recognised the poster. It’s very Dwayne 2010.
JT: A 2.7 on Letterboxd, 6.4 on IMDB, 42 Critic and 52 on Rotten Tomatoes, with Billy Bob Thornton co starring. It certainly sounds like a forgettable 2010 action movie to me!
S: You can add that to your Letterboxd! So this match, what even happens in this again?
JT: Ahh yes, the wrestling match! Well, what happens is that King wants to know what the rest of the divas are on Punk’s scale if the Bellas are 4, and Punk jokes that no divas have all three attributes of “Smart, Sexy, Powerful”. Also Alicia is a 9.8 on his scale. Meanwhile, Natalya tries to get an O’Connor Roll, Alicia holds on to the ropes and sends her back, but Natalya nips back up to her feet and hits Fox. She runs the ropes but Alicia counters with a Monkey Flip. She grabs Natalya by the hair and pulls on her while stomping down on the rest of her hair. King calls her Natalie on accident, and Cole & Punk shit all over him. Typical sort of stuff from our commentary team. In an actually fun moment, Alicia pulls out one of Natalya’s extensions, which pisses the Champ off, starting her comeback. She lifts Fox up and gets a big stalling Vertical Suplex. She gets a Bear Hug in, Alicia rolls through and tries to roll her up, but Natalya kicks out and gets the Sharpshooter in to win in pretty academic fashion. I can’t be upset with how this turned out honestly, it’s a women’s TV match in 2010. The commentators are gonna talk about some bullshit, the wrestlers are gonna have a basic match for 5 minutes.
S: It’s how the match should’ve gone as well really, Nattie is the new champion so she should be getting a really convincing win in her first match as champ. Can’t complain about it either. Alicia has always been someone who is really good at doing her signature moves. Nattie has always been competent so this was grand in my book.
JT: Day 1 of Natalya Neidhart, Divas Champion, is in the books! And it’s starting off well!
S: Chumps out Laycool again and a convincing win. We shall have poutine to celebrate! Oh Canada!
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Johnny King?
JT: Speaking of the Divas, we’re not done with them tonight, not entirely. Because up next is our final KOTR qualifier! And it features John Morrison, who is backstage with old flame Melina! And it looks like things might be rekindling between them. Qualifying for the KOTR and getting back together with your old gal, might be a big night for Johnny Mundo! Although I know Vince McMahon’s not happy to see this.
S: Awh I’d imagine Vince is calling for his ass to be fired now that he’s seeing him chatting with Melina. He’s foaming at the mouth so he is.
JT: Maybe the KOTR is his last chance to prove to Vince that he’s not a filthy beta cuck. But it won’t be an easy qualification. Even though he’s been on a roll with his win over Sheamus to top it off, Punk quips that he better not be slow motion tonight, he’s got Tyson Kidd. And poor Tyson, I didn’t realize he showed up again this season, but he might as well not have come out. If you could hear a pin drop when Alicia came out last match, Orlando took on a mausoleum vibe when Kidd made his way to the ring.
S: And ehm, he’s turned heel, hasn’t he? You know WWE couldn’t give a shit about splitting your team up if they don’t give the two lads a PPV singles match. Holy god. Like is this one of the worst breakups they’ve done for former Tag Champions?
JT: It’s gotta be for sure. Now look, the Hart Dynasty, it was a rousing success. They weren’t exactly a beloved tag team. But they did give them the run of beating Miz while he was still US Champ and only a few months before he won MITB. They’ve paired him up with the future Divas Champ, and they got the rub of working with Bret. But as we saw back at Night of Champions, they lost the belts in mere minutes at the start of the Tag Team Turmoil, and then had their breakup in the month or so afterwards with 0 fanfare.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t care as a kid, but that’s because Tyson & Davey are not characters, they’re basically Hart Family crests. I’m just not sure why they broke them up honestly. Like, who were they doing that in service of? I think both guys would go on to be fine singles wrestlers, but at this time they’re not nearly ready to be singles characters. I mean, they’d been on TV for like 2 years at most at this point. They gave The Usos a good few years to round into form, I don’t see why they didn’t just keep the two of them paired up at least for a little while longer. It’s not like breaking them up got them in a better position than “midcard tag team”. Especially given how weak WWE’s tag division is around this time. Instead, they broke up one of their only credible tag teams for nothing.
S: It’s just stupid in all honesty and if you want any valid example to prove that WWE hates tag team wrestling. This is it. These two lads, spoilers by the way, would do absolutely nothing as singles guys during 2011. Both lads you’d get on Superstars and David Hart Smith would be gone by August of 2011. Here’s how little they did with DH Smith, he didn’t even make the cut in the FORTY MAN RUMBLE in 2011. That right there, is a joke.
JT: Again, not to say that DH was “the most underrated wrestler in WWE” or any of that, it’s just a case of WWE’s poor maximization of talent. Not everyone is going to be a star, but there are ways to use guys to get the most out of them. And we’re talking about someone who was 24 at the time, with significant family pedigree. He never became a huge star, but when he went to NJPW and bulked up some, he was a useful part of their midcard and tag scene for 5 years.
S: Yeah exactly. I think all in all, he’s a perfectly fine mid card wrestler. There’s nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with being a good tag team wrestler either. Sometimes, I would liken wrestling to sports management. Sometimes you may not have the best roster or squad of guys, but at the same time you’ve got to make the most out of those players. Work to their strengths, not their weaknesses. It’s something which I feel wrestling struggles with A LOT.
JT: For sure. Case and point, they just send Tyson Kidd out there to the most generic music, doing the most generic entrance. Like he just comes out to the ring. Nothing, nobody had any ideas? There were no managers you could pair him with? I may have exaggerated earlier when I said it wouldn’t be an “easy qualifier” for Morrison. Tyson is coming out with the same amount of excitement as some local competitor. At least he didn’t get the “currently in the ring” job like Ted Jr did?
S: It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if he did actually get the “currently in the ring” treatment. Poor lad, the only thing he’s got going for him is that he’s with Nattie.
JT: Well let’s not waste any time, let’s get into the match. Of course, before things even kick off, Punk says “What’s with all the divas? Is there something in the air? They’re all chasing guys”. He’s basically calling out whoever decided at the latest creative meeting they needed to do more romantic storylines. Because the fact that there are multiple going on right now feels like they made a decision to do more of them, and it’s being rolled out now. Also he says Melina is a 2.
S: I do like that he’s against the face ladies, and bigs up Alicia Fox like a 2022 diva’s era fan. I mean, we respect it for sure. Melina though, she ain’t a 2, Punk. Sorry man.
JT: At least you can tell he’s just cracking jokes and not actually giving his opinion. Speaking of jokes, he also brags about beating Morrison for the ECW Title. As for the actual match, Kidd with a roundhouse, stomps knocking Johnny Survivor back in the corner, then Kidd slams him on the apron, and locks in a headlock as he screams. Doing the old “yell while you do a move because nobody is reacting otherwise”.
S: This was the Tyson Kidd special so it was, Jesus man he definitely outdoes Ziggler with the shrieks and screams. He sounds like a goblin.
JT: His haircut isn’t helping the goblin allegations either. He goes for a High Kick, but Morrison ducks, and one flowing move hits a kick to the back of Kidd’s head! Nice little karate thing. He follows with a Leg Lariat, which gets a nearfall as commentary argues about something inane. Kidd ducks out of the ring, but it was a ploy to suck Nitro in for a kick to him from the apron. He gets a Fisherman’s Neckbreaker, 1–2–Kickout. Punk with a good point, as he emphasizes how everyone has been aggressive with their pinfalls in these qualifying matches, they know how big it is. Morrison manages to fight off Kidd and springs to the ropes, butKidd jumps up to meet him. Morrison fights him off though, then springs to the perpendicular rope to hit the Flying Chuck! Cole tells him not to “go all Stryker on us” and Punk says “that’s what he calls it!”. As all this happens, Morrison goes over to the corner and hits Starship Pain! It’s academic, 1–2–3!!
S: Can I shock you? I actually enjoyed this match for what it was. Morrison I’d argue at this stage was in great form as a wrestler, probably one of the more entertaining in-ring guys they had at this time. Just wish Kidd had more to do with week to week TV rather than this very mid heel run.
JT: Yeah honestly it was easily the best wrestling we had gotten on the show to this point. Kidd meeting Morrison on the ropes was cool, and then him hoping from one rope to the other was really pretty cool. I’m also a huge sucker for Tyson’s Fisherman’s Neckbreaker, I think it looks great. Fuck! Now I’m imagining a world where he had gotten out of his WWE contract and had gotten to be in Lucha Underground under a mask with some wacky ass gimmick.
S: Tyson Kidd would have absolutely been part of the Worldwide Underground had he been released a few years earlier. Him, PJ, and Jack Evans as the Trios Champs probably.
JT: He’s out now though, and Johnny Elite is moving on to the KOTR! Sheamus, Ezekiel Jackson, Daniel Bryan and John Morrison are the KOTR entrants from Raw. And for the record, here are the people in the running from SD: Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, Drew McIntyre, Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes and MVP. Which 4 do you think will make it to next week’s tournament?
S: Oh man, if I were to guess, it’d be Cody, Del Rio, Kofi and maybe Big Show. I forget what the matches actually were on the SmackDown side
JT: I think it’ll likely be something similar to that, but I do think it’s worth noting that Bryan, Morrison and Jackson are all faces. Although, Zeke isn’t exactly the cuddliest fella, so who knows. We’ll just have to see later who shows up for the tournament from the blue brand.
S: Zeke is cuddly in his own way, James. He’s one of our guys after all. ECW original after all. I guess we’ll see when we cover TLC, or maybe before that…
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Barrett’s Last Breath
JT: We’ve got our King of the Ring qualifiers out of the way, we’ve got our wacky Divas segments completed, we’ve said goodbye to John Cena. Now, all that’s left is our MAIN EVENT!! We’ve got a PPV level main event on free TV! It’s the heart and soul of The Nexus, Wade Barrett, challenging once again for the WWE Championship, defended by the Apex Predator, The Viper, Randy Orton. No other competitors, no guest referee, just one on ones for all the marbles!
S: Will Barrett keep his cool and ascend to the top or will he completely lose his marbles? IT’S THE MAIN EVENT!
JT: Well we’ve got no backstage shenanigans or anything like that, we’re just getting our match! The Champion is out first, which is a bit of a surprise but not too much. He gets a strong reaction—THE FUCKING NEXUS!! Out of the dark, before Orton is even halfway down the ramp, Barrett waves the troops on and it’s a 5 on 1 beatdown on Randy!! Referees come out and manage to chase the rats away, but the damage has been done, Randy is clutching at his knee! We’re gonna have to go to a commercial, we should’ve known there was no way Barrett would listen to John Cena’s parting words, he was always gonna cut this corner!
S: It’s almost as if it’s one final “screw you” to Cena as well. A real dirty heel if there ever was one.
JT: Honestly, he probably laughed when Cena said that. This was probably always the plan. You can never trust a heel who says they want “no outside influence”. They just mean “no outside influence” for the other guy. So we go to commercials, and when we come back, everyone has cleared out. Barrett comes back out, while Cole reads on his Blackberry an email they got during the break that Nexus is banned from ringside for this match. Orton comes out again, gingerly limping. Kinda cruel to make him walk to the back and walk back, but he probably got a little medical treatment. Still, I doubt that did much, because this match is happening and Orton is already in a hole.
S: And his leg is fucked as well! What ever will Randy Orton do, James? I’ve a fear that the Nexus are gonna take hold of the WWE Championship!
JT: Well things have looked dire before, but Orton has pulled through! Will he keep his title? Let’s find out! Orton comes out of the gates aggressive, until Barrett hits him on the knee, working it over in the corner. To make things worse, Barrett then slams it against the hardest part of the ring (the apron)! Orton is clearly hobbled, but when Barrett attacks, he’s able to catch him with the Headlock Backbreaker! But he can’t cover, he’s clutching at the knee again! He tries to stay in control, but Barrett attacks the knee again, following it up by lifting him up on his shoulders! He’s looking for Wasteland, and he hits it!! The Winds of Change have blown and destroyed the foundations of the Apex Predator’s Championship reign!! It’s over!! 1—2—THE REF IS PULLED OUT!! IT’S JOHN CENA!! HE’S BACK IN A WWE RING WITH AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT TO BARRETT!! I tell ya what as a kid, watching this for the first time, I was totally caught off guard!
S: I remember thinking that Cena was obviously gonna come back eventually but god damn, I didn’t think he’d be back about forty minutes later. It’s almost as if there’s no consequences at all
JT: Yeah as a kid at this point, I was aware that people get “written out”, so I figured Cena would be back, maybe at the Royal Rumble? Set up a Barrett/Cena WrestleMania match? Nope!! Back almost instantaneously! It’s like when you go out, get 5 minutes down the block, realize you forgot your wallet at home, and then turn around and come back!
S: What you described there happened to me at least five times in my last semester of college. It’s a bad feeling.
JT: It could’ve been worse, you could’ve been Wade Barrett!! He’s planted into the mat and his Nexus buddies are about 30 seconds too late, as they spring down to the ring in (Need for Speed) Hot Pursuit of Cena, who has them beat but enough strides to zip out of the Amway Center unharmed. Meanwhile, Barrett staggers up to his feet, and gets hit with the RKO!! Randy falls on top, 1—2—3!! The crowd is absolutely hot for this but PU does this absolutely REEK for Wade Barrett.
S: I think he may actually be a bigger loser than what Matt Morgan was in our 2010-2011 TNA arc. This man has lost time and time and time again in nearly all of the big matches and I’d argue that this three month span of losing big matches killed his chances of being a top guy. His moment has come and passed him by five times already and we’re only five months into his main roster career.
JT: Yeah it’s one thing if you get screwed out of a shot. It’s gonna happen in wrestling, it hurts their stock but it’s recoverable. Not only is he losing, but he’s getting pantsed at the finishing line. Cena is outsmarting him at every turn. “Pin Cena and take him out of the 6 Way”, nice try he’s gonna cost you anyways. “He can’t lose or you’re fired?”, win by DQ. “Count the pin Or you’re fired?”, fine I’ll just get fired. “Now that he’s fired he can’t interfere?” haha you thought you dumb bitch. Even when he beat him at HIAC, Gully Bully and Da Fiend weren’t even part of Nexus at that point! It wasn’t a smartly hatched scheme by Barrett, they were completely coincidental! You and I saw that even after losing at Summerslam, all hope wasn’t lost yet. He still has heat on him, The Nexus still seemed like a threat. Hell, he even had great heat tonight! But if you lose and lose and lose, and your wins are hollow ones, you can’t expect people to still believe in you.
S: I mean, he completely won the heat back when he beat Cena by shitty interference! Bragging Rights was fine because it was an angle to set up the bigger match but these last two shows, on back to back nights, were very detrimental to his standing as a main eventer in WWE.
JT: Real tough look, especially since we haven’t addressed the fact that Orton was already hurt! He came into this match limping, and he couldn’t finish the job! In fact, this match wasn’t even 4 minutes long! Barrett got his big one on one title shot, and it lasted 3:59!! I get that WWE wasn’t built around long TV matches at this time, but they couldn’t even get 15 minutes? Fuck sake, you have a 3 hour show next week, you had to squeeze this match in here? A loser in 4 fucking minutes, R-Truth got more in against Sheamus earlier. Barrett Barrage absolutely in the mud.
S: Wowwwww, if that isn’t a damning statement on someone being absolutely cooked, I don’t know what is. 4 minutes? Man this felt longer but it also didn’t feel long if ya get me?
JT: Yeah it didn’t feel that short but it definitely felt like a rushed match. Sad way for Barrett to go on, but again we shouldn’t overlook the fact that the crowd popped big for the ending angle and the RKO.
S: Yeah, they certainly popped for the big move. It’s definitely the most over move in the entire company and you can’t deny that they reacted for sure. Common Orton W on that front.
JT: Even in the face of adversity, the Viper struck and the Age Of Orton will continue for at least another week……
S: OR WILL IT?!
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Miz-stery Main Event
JT: NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE PLAYA!! We’ve got some BONUS WRESTLING TONIGHT!! Because as Randy is handed his belt, his music stopping plays, AND THE MIZ’S PLAYS!! Sprinting down to the ring, briefcase in tow, Commentary Man Punk is getting some deja vu!! The Miz is cashing in his Money in the Bank, right now!!
S: It’s the reason we chose this episode to review, you all knew it was happening. It’s been inevitable all season and now it’s about to go down! This is the most hyped you’ll ever see me for a Miz match ever.
JT: You better believe my 11 year old ass was freaking out of this. I started recording Barrett vs Orton on my TV for my YouTube channel, and it took every ounce of prepubescent strength to not scream out mid recording when Miz came out. I was buzzing!
S: I don’t think I actually watched this Raw the next day, you know. If I remember correctly, my mate ran up to me the next day and told me about the cash in and I was fecking fuming as a young mark Seán.
JT: Oh man that’s TOUGH. You know who else has a rough time with Miz’s cash in? Randy Orton. Dude looks absolutely disgusted to see this shit happening. He’s already a surly guy, but I don’t think you could find Randy Orton in a worse mood than he is at the moment the camera cuts back to him.
S: Thing is, he’s probably shoot pissed as well that he’s losing the title to Miz as well. That’s what adds to the real surly demeanor which Randy has when Miz comes out.
JT: And just as a reminder folks, back at this time, MITB was basically a guaranteed win! Everyone to cash in to this point has won the belt, and Miz is looking to add to that legacy of success. Can he do it? Let’s get to our unprecedented, second WWE Championship match this episode!
S: It’s our *checks notes* SECOND main event!
JT: Randy is selling the knee hard and defends against any attack Miz can do, but he can only play keep away for so long until Miz nails a clean kick to the knee and Randy crumples to the mat. Miz slams the knee against the post, doing lots of damage, Randy shoves him into the barricade! This gives him space to crawl over to the corner, and when Miz rushes back in for the Corner Clothesline, Randy cuts him off with a clothesline of his own! He swings for another, Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, Randy fights off with elbows. He sends him through the ropes for the Hangman DDT, but Miz escapes and attacks the knee! Randy stumbles back, Miz charges in, Scoop Slam!! The Viper is cooked again!! Will we see it for a second time tonight? RKO—BLOCKED!! Skull Crushing Finale!! 1—-2——3!! Miz is WWE Champion!
S: And so the meme of the Angry Miz Girl was born. As thousands of kids were sickened by the fact that this lad was now the WWE Champion. A truly divisive day among wrestling fans. From MTV, to the top of the WWE.
JT: WWE’s constant focus on reaction shots is a real hassle, especially when the matches don’t get nearly the same reaction as this, but this is an all timer for WWE. The biggest fucking scowl that little girl has ever had in her life, because Miz is champion. A vintage meme, a career defining shot for Miz.
S: I mean this is literally THE SHOT which made Miz’s title reign and would define his status as a top heel forever. This would be used in video packages for shows and shows, and documentaries involving The Miz to come.
JT: But you know who was happy about Miz’s win? Michael Cole. He is over the moon, talking about how The Era of Awesomeness has begun, talking about how Orton was a courageous Champion, but Miz did what MITB does best. He is going a million words a second to try and make this seem like a monumental occasion.
S: And this is definitely a monumental occasion for us because I am dead certain now that this is the birth of the properly evil, horrible heel Michael Cole. Surely this is it, right?
JT: If not now, then we may be missing the worst of the worst! That honestly makes me feel both better and worse. Better because we don’t have to experience it. Worse because, my god he’s been bad all Season long and yet there’s still been this black cloud lingering over this whole arc, a cloud that says “He gets even worse than this”. It doesn’t feel possible that this isn’t the bottom of the barrel! His annoying, mean spirited detachment should be as bad as it can!
S: Just you wait until I order us to wait this season out for Lawler and Cole at Mania 27.
JT: The horror, THE HORROR!! And to add to the commentary monstrosity, Cole is clearly lining up one last line to close the show, and Punk stumbles right into his way with a sassy comment. So Cole just closes us out with “goodnight” as we go off the air. Cena is gone but not really, Barrett lost again, Randy lost his belt, and Miz is Champion. When you add this all on top of the KOTR set up, this episode of Raw was more consequential than a lot of the PPV we’ve watched this arc!
S: Yeah honestly, in terms of a Raw where stuff happened and it being eventful. Definitely a success, you’ve followed up last night’s show, set up a tournament for next week and a brand new WWE Champion has been crowned. Was it good? I wouldn’t say it was good considering we gave out loads but it was a very easy watch. Raw is only about 90 minutes on the Network and it’s not three hours yet. So I’m sound with that. Plus, it makes it a much smoother experience talking about the show with one of my very good friends.
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Powering Down
JT: I’ll just bring us right into our show closing remarks based on what you just said. This show was alright, there are much worse Raw’s at this time, but let’s not kid ourselves and act like this was the height of entertainment. Watching this without having a blog to write about it would’ve been a significant bummer. The biggest thing I’ll say about this show is that they kept the ball moving. Every match except Sheamus & R-Truth (which went through a commercial break) went under 5 minutes, we had a load of short backstage segments, they kept going from thing to thing and the longest segment went to the thing people cared about the most (John Cena). Would you say this was better or worse than Viewer’s Choice Raw?
S: I would say it’s better than Viewer’s Choice because it’s not 3 hours and with that Raw, there were just a lot of weird matches. At the same time though, it depends on which day you ask me because I’m pretty sure I’d just change my mind each day. It’s like asking me would I rather City or Chelsea to win the Champions League two years ago.
JT: Yeah I think I agree, Viewer’s Choice was weird but like, good weird? It broke the usual status quo for Raw with so oddball matches and that incredible show closing angle. Speaking of which, I want to come back around to Wade Barrett one more time. We explained how John Cena coming back when he did clearly hurt him and by extension The Nexus, but I haven’t brought up his Miz cashing in also hurts Barrett. As we mentioned, Barrett has lost again and again to Orton. And then when Miz swooped in and won the belt, it felt like the book slammed shut on Barrett’s time as a main event wrestler. Y’know like “Thanks for your time, you can go now”. Chapter closed on Wade Barrett’s world title chances, we’re going in a different direction.
S: Oh this cash in makes Barrett look like such a fucking chump too, like good for Miz but if we’re talking within the context of the story, this guy failed time and time again. Lost to a dude with a bum knee within minutes after he got taken out before the match, then Miz just pops in and wins. Barrett, you are officially a bigger loser than Matt Morgan in 2011.
JT: And while we’re talking about Miz, you can tell this clearly means a lot to him. You can only be so much of a character, you can read his real emotions all over his face. To have gotten here from where he started out, it means everything to him.
S: He’s mentioned this loads of times as well, this moment was huge for him and it was vindication for the amount of years he spent grafting for the last four or five years. It’s probably his most iconic moment in his career for sure.
JT: And now to be too mean spirited about the guy, because lord knows we have a ton of respect and love for The Miz at this point in 2023…..but we gotta talk about that video of him backstage after he won the belt, right?
S: Man I can’t even remember the video of him backstage after he won the belt? What happened again?
JT: I’ll share it with ya and our dear readers, but basically it was just kinda awkward? Like it’s not bad per say, personally I can just feel like I can feel the resentment some of the locker room has for him and that he has for what he’s been through. Plus, there’s the awkward moment where he goes to shake Triple H’s hand, but Tri doesn’t see it for a good 5 seconds. To be fair I remember it being worse than it was, and it’s still nice to see other people giving him love in his moment of triumph, but this is nothing compared to what others have had in the same position.
S: Oh man, there’s nothing worse than when you win your first World Title and backstage there’s active resentment from the roster. Now that is ROUGH. As well as being left hanging for a solid five seconds by one of your peers.
JT: Again, it’s not as bad as i remember, but like look at that vs the videos of when Eddie Guerrero won the belt. The whole locker room was practically lining up to celebrate with him. And sure, it’s a bit unfair to compare Miz to one of the most beloved guys in wrestling history, but it just shows he still had plenty of hearts and minds to win over his career.
S: Oh he’s just on the beginning of winning over the rest of that locker room, and he probably won’t fully win them over until about 2015 or 2016 in all honesty.
JT: I know we talked about a “Vince McMahon tell all” book earlier this episode, but I bet “Mike Mizanin: The Real World” autobiography would be spectacular. I know he’s got plenty of stories to tell, and very few have had as interesting a journey in wrestling as The Miz. Loved, hated, top of the heap, bottom of the barrel, starring in reality tv to movies back to reality tv, that book has gotta be on the table. I need it.
S: Yeah I’d definitely be down for reading that autobiography, he’s definitely got so much to tell and it’d make for such a fascinating read. I would be intrigued to know what it was like doing reality TV as well but I reckon he’d kayfabe us about the workings of it.
JT: So I think that’ll be where we close the book on this episode. All that’s left is to decide on our MVPs for this episode. Seán, who ya got?
S: I genuinely have no clue who I’d give an MVP award to here. Like who is there? Sheamus? Punk? Miz? It’s super slim pickings man.
JT: Well, I’ll help you out by telling you my pick. I’m going with Randy Orton. I agree with you that we didn’t have a lot to pick from, so I went with Randy because of his solid selling of his knee injury. It’s the story that carries the last 20 minutes of the show, plus he has two decent enough promos early on. It’s not an outstanding A+ MVP performance, but somebody had to win it.
S: Yeah Randy is a good shout if you ask me, now that you’ve explained it but I think I’ll probably just stick with The Miz given what actually happened on the show. His title win is what’s remembered on this show and it was a pretty big moment so that’s why I’d go with The Miz.
JT: Alright so that’ll about do it for us! This show is wrapped up, and that means…..it’s time for a special announcement! Seán, would you like to do the honors?
S: Yes sir! Well, when looking at the run up to TLC, James noticed there was a quite noteworthy episode of Raw after the one we just reviewed so that’s why next episode of the Power Hour. We are back for another episode of Raw and it’s the King of the Ring special episode! Oh, and it’s three hours long…. We sure know how to pick em folks.
JT: Don’t say we never did nothing for ya! Time to find out who is the next King, as well as see the fallout from Barrett’s loss, Cena’s shocking appearance, Orton’s defeat and Miz’s victory at his expense! But until then, it’s time to say goodbye! This is a buenos noches from me James!
S: And a bonne nuit from me, Seán!
JT: See ya next time! Remember to keep on following that Big Train down the line!
The JT & Seány Mc Power Hour 